Adulting is Hard

[Former Member]

1 hour ago, Dmrman said:

It's not right, not fair, for me to think I have arrived, and there is no more.

I think it’s important to acknowledge that we are not aware of the situation for everyone around the world, but we are not expected to have first hand knowledge. We are individuals, not spokespersons for the entire community, We need to be open to continually learning and expanding our concept of who our community is.

We can be allies of those who are not like us by being respectful and learning as much as we can. We can never know what it’s like to be someone else, but we can empathize with their struggles and assist when and where we can. Sometimes listening is all we can do and more than others have done.

[MichaelS36]

3 hours ago, droughtquake said:

think it’s important to acknowledge that we are not aware of the situation for everyone around the world, but we are not expected to have first hand knowledge. We are individuals, not spokespersons for the entire community, We need to be open to continually learning and expanding our concept of who our community is.

This is true. However, it is also true that we each are responsible for ourselves and our local community where we may have influence. Too often we complain/worry about the world, without looking to our own local communities. Perhaps we should each look to fix our own backyard first. Then our neighbours will, and then we can help the ones down the street, then in the next town, next province, next country. 

[Wayne Gray]

6 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

This is true. However, it is also true that we each are responsible for ourselves and our local community where we may have influence. Too often we complain/worry about the world, without looking to our own local communities. Perhaps we should each look to fix our own backyard first. Then our neighbours will, and then we can help the ones down the street, then in the next town, next province, next country. 

This might be the most "adult" thing we can do.  Each of us have strengths, power we can exert, the ability to be the change we want to see in the world.

There are many ways to do this.  Instead of complain about litter, go for a walk and pick it up.  Mourning for cut trees is meaningless if you don't volunteer with groups to replace them or fund their efforts.  Sadness for homelessness is empty without donations of time or money to causes to help these souls get back on their feet.

This is uncomfortable for many of us, because none of us can be "perfect".  But we can be better.

[MichaelS36]

59 minutes ago, Wayne Gray said:

This might be the most "adult" thing we can do.  Each of us have strengths, power we can exert, the ability to be the change we want to see in the world.

There are many ways to do this.  Instead of complain about litter, go for a walk and pick it up.  Mourning for cut trees is meaningless if you don't volunteer with groups to replace them or fund their efforts.  Sadness for homelessness is empty without donations of time or money to causes to help these souls get back on their feet.

This is uncomfortable for many of us, because none of us can be "perfect".  But we can be better.

I would like to see a culture of compassion. People's attitudes tire me.

tim has mentioned the horrific construction we are all suffering here but driver's would rather die then let in someone. No one wants to give up their miserable 10 feet, they may get home 5 seconds later, should they let the guy on the side street in. Here is a secret for you … If we each let in one person, we'd all be home faster. 

tim walks now with a cane, many good souls allow him a seat on the bus, but plenty of able bodied do not. Looking at your iPhone is much more important than letting that older, disabled or suffering person sit.  

There is more than just the LGBTQ world … all of us are deserving of compassion and a helping hand. Even just smiling and saying good morning can change someone's day. 

[Former Member]

5 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

tim walks now with a cane, many good souls allow him a seat on the bus, but plenty of able bodied do not. Looking at your iPhone is much more important than letting that older, disabled or suffering person sit.

What’s worse is the person on transit who thinks their packages deserve a seat more than another passenger! Equally as bad are those who sprawl across two seats or those poor souls whose testicles are so swollen (or smelly?) they are forced to spread their knees 120° apart. All bad behavior because they don’t want someone to sit next to them.
 

Last week I was riding home on the train after I left Frameline for the evening. I repeatedly asked someone if they could move their bags so I could sit down. That person pretended to be asleep to avoid having someone next to them. A young woman gave up her seat for me, in part because she noticed I was wearing a Frameline t-shirt. I told her she didn’t need to do that, but she insisted. As fate would have it, she got a seat after the very next stop and we talked about the film festival since her seat was just behind the one she gave up.She and her friend had seen a different movie at the festival that evening. It gives me great hope for the future!
;–)

[Mikiesboy]

9 minutes ago, droughtquake said:

What’s worse is the person on transit who thinks their packages deserve a seat more than another passenger! Equally as bad are those who sprawl across two seats or those poor souls whose testicles are so swollen (or smelly?) they are forced to spread their knees 120° apart. All bad behavior because they don’t want someone to sit next to them.
 

Last week I was riding home on the train after I left Frameline for the evening. I repeatedly asked someone if they could move their bags so I could sit down. That person pretended to be asleep to avoid having someone next to them. A young woman gave up her seat for me, in part because she noticed I was wearing a Frameline t-shirt. I told her she didn’t need to do that, but she insisted. As fate would have it, she got a seat after the very next stop and we talked about the film festival since her seat was just behind the one she gave up.She and her friend had seen a different movie at the festival that evening. It gives me great hope for the future!
;–)

That was kind of that young lady. And it just goes to show what kindness can do.

Edited July 5, 2019 by Mikiesboy

[MichaelS36]

Just now, Mikiesboy said:

That was kind of that young lady. And it just goes to show what kindness can do.

It was kind. And you end up talking about something that was meaningful to you both.  A shared experience. Something that brings us together. I wonder why we are often so afraid to share. 

 

[Carlos Hazday]

It's been interesting reading this thread. Returning to the theme that Adulting is Hard, I'd like to paraphrase Bette Davis: "Growing up/older is not for sissies"

Stop bitching, grow a pair, and do something to fix what's wrong.

[BabyXander1990]

On 7/4/2019 at 7:26 AM, Thorn Wilde said:

I know how you feel, @BabyXander1990. I'm still figuring out how to 'boy' and it's not easy. I just try to remind myself that that isn't what makes me a boy, only how I express it. It's something I am, irrespective of what I do. Gender expression becomes a lot more important when you're trans, though. Things cis-people never have to think about become a huge deal when you're trying to pass on the outside as what you are on the inside. I'm glad you feel you're there. I've got a ways to go.

Thanks...one more question. That is normal? 

Oops correction... WHAT IS NORMAL??

That is what I meant to say...

Edited July 7, 2019 by BabyXander1990

[Former Member]

2 minutes ago, BabyXander1990 said:

That is normal? 

What is ‘normal’ and do you want to be ‘normal’?
;–)

[BabyXander1990]

On 7/4/2019 at 11:29 AM, Thorn Wilde said:

It can be difficult, yeah, but I don't like to compare. I guess one of the key differences would be right to self-identification. For a trans person, claiming one's gender one is often faced with the reaction that one is not the gender one claims, whereas most gay people won't have people telling them, no, you're not actually gay, you're straight. So people won't accept that I'm not a woman, especially not if I don't try really, really hard to look and behave masculine. Some of us even end up overcompensating because we're so afraid we won't pass otherwise, especially pre-medical transition, or those who don't want to medically transition at all.

It is difficult, however, I think the new generation (my stepson who is a girl) will have it easier. I think the new generation will be able to have bio kids...

[BabyXander1990]

On 7/5/2019 at 1:14 AM, Dmrman said:

You have said mouthful...if you never said another word. This is one reason I vowed to challenge and correct my mindsets...! It's not right, not fair, for me to think I have arrived, and there is no more. it's far from finished until every Diversity become a well-oiled working part of the LGBTQ??? THE QUESTION MARKS REPRESENT THINGS THAT I am not aware of, such as I have continually run into diversities I have never known or just found out about... So I am inclined to think of an example which reads like this: I hear things in the news every day that are not localized they can be in Europe...but just because the news says it, or someone relays to me I can "Only" perceive  What is really going on...if my wording sounds like this: "I have heard, or been told"  it's inaccuracy for me to share any opinion because I am not qualified, I know facts from my area but can only presume what its like where you, instead of facts I am giving an opinion  based false information. If I really want to know how it is, or what you are going through Then I have to relocate to where you are and see first hand what it's like... And still it has  flaws because I just arrived to where you are but I have no idea what you have been through until you share the Facts... You become the teacher, I am a student... So, in short, I may think I am good and finished yet I am really dysfunctional because portraying Lgbtq+ means I am part of the group but not the group in its entirety, there is more, in order to complete the more I need to find out what the more is...??? Now I have probably really confused you...? but its deep, but it's not deep It just requires one to think as a "part" in the vatt of a much bigger conglomeration. Otherwise it's wasted the "part" and the "conglomerate" equals nothing...😊😊😗

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think one of the question mark will be for Paraphilic Infantilism.  I think that might be the next one. If you want to know Google it...

[BabyXander1990]

24 minutes ago, droughtquake said:

What is ‘normal’ and do you want to be ‘normal’?
;–)

Oops I hate auto correct...The word that is SUPPOSED TO BE WHAT!!! Sorry...

Edited July 7, 2019 by BabyXander1990

[BabyXander1990]

30 minutes ago, droughtquake said:

What is ‘normal’ and do you want to be ‘normal’?
;–)

What I want to be is Dennis wife and the 'mommy' to our kids...To me that is normal!!  💓💓💓💓💓 Night all...time for a 🛀 and 🛌

Edited July 7, 2019 by BabyXander1990

[Former Member]

12 minutes ago, BabyXander1990 said:

I think one of the question mark will be for Paraphilic Infantilism.

It’s not an interest of mine, but I’ve seen pictures of a very cute (straight) male ‘baby’ with a pacifier and a trimmed beard and mustache!
;–)

[Former Member]

16 hours ago, Dmrman said:

For real...???😊😊 any Ideas as to what it's all about...🙂 I mean myself I am not into Facial hair just due to personal issues with it, and wish I could just not have to deal with it... Poor Baby...😐

Yeah, I think he’d have been cuter without the facial hair too. I prefer the clean-shaven look, both face and body.
;–)

Considering what I happened to have seen, things get pretty messy when you combine body hair, baby powder, and diapers. I hope I never have to deal with that when I get older! But then again, I’m not as hairy as most guys (especially ‘where the sun don’t shine’).
;–)

Edited July 7, 2019 by Former Member

[Former Member]

16 hours ago, Dmrman said:

lumbersexual

It’s that unshaven look that resembles the stereotypical lumberjack. They probably wear plaid too.

Edited July 7, 2019 by Former Member

[Former Member]

1 minute ago, Dmrman said:

 like maybe scruffy...🤔😏 shoot I never liked my five I clock and yeah I come from a really hairy family just not as hairy as they were Who knows... Maybe🤔 I favor the milkman...😶🙄😄

My lack of facial and body hair is clearly genetic, although my older brother is capable of growing a mustache (and has at various points in his life).
;–)

[Former Member]

6 minutes ago, Dmrman said:

I can say proudly though... While they were all hairy, they also became bald, 😶😒 but I still have all my hair... Could be the mailman more I think...?? Lol 😁😁

Male baldness patterns are inherited from your mother. My brothers are losing their hair too. My older brother has a bald spot and my younger brother hair has been very thin for decades. Weirdly enough, my nephew (the older brother’s son) has the same problem as my younger brother. My hair has neither thinned nor gotten patchy. I attribute it to a much less stressful life with no wife, mortgage, or real career.
;–)

My mother had no brothers and her mother’s only brother disappeared in Brazil during WWII.

Edited July 7, 2019 by Former Member

[Thorn Wilde]

Well, I happen to like both beards and body hair. And I like the opposite too. And frankly, I think it's kind of crappy of you to essentially body shame people who are on this site and can read what you're saying in public, @droughtquake. Who cares what's in fashion? And saying people with body and facial hair are lazy is just ignorant. A lot of work goes into a well maintained beard. We should celebrate people's right to look however they want, and allow them to be happy with the bodies nature gave them. Having grown up female and feeling immense pressure to conform by shaving every part of my body, I've envied men who are able to live relatively unhindered by that kind of prejudice. Both men, women, and non-binary people deserve to be able to go through life without anyone telling them they need to change their bodies in order to be attractive.

[BabyXander1990]

7 hours ago, Dmrman said:

For real...???😊😊 any Ideas as to what it's all about...🙂 I mean myself I am not into Facial hair just due to personal issues with it, and wish I could just not have to deal with it... Poor Baby...😐

I'm not into hair either. Dennis doesn't have any and I don't either. I had mine lasered off.,.

😀

 

 

Edited July 7, 2019 by BabyXander1990

[BabyXander1990]

7 hours ago, Dmrman said:

 like maybe scruffy...🤔😏 shoot I never liked my overclock shadow...!  yeah I come from a really hairy family just not as hairy as they were Who knows... Maybe🤔 I favor the milkman...😶🙄😄

Dennis comes from a non hairy family, but I come from a moderately hairy family, but I got myself lazered...

[BabyXander1990]

7 hours ago, Dmrman said:

Well, I have found we can't pick and choose how we come out 😑😏 but it would have been nice to have a say in it...or even select some options?☺

I know Jordan would love to stay non pubertal...Jordan hates body hair...👶

[BabyXander1990]

1 hour ago, Thorn Wilde said:

Well, I happen to like both beards and body hair. And I like the opposite too. And frankly, I think it's kind of crappy of you to essentially body shame people who are on this site and can read what you're saying in public, @droughtquake. Who cares what's in fashion? And saying people with body and facial hair are lazy is just ignorant. A lot of work goes into a well maintained beard. We should celebrate people's right to look however they want, and allow them to be happy with the bodies nature gave them. Having grown up female and feeling immense pressure to conform by shaving every part of my body, I've envied men who are able to live relatively unhindered by that kind of prejudice. Both men, women, and non-binary people deserve to be able to go through life without anyone telling them they need to change their bodies in order to be attractive.

Truthfully, I don't  body shame. To me, it is up to the individual if they want a beard or not. Laser hair removal is nice in my humble opinion.When I wear a bikini, I don't have any chest hair...

[MrM]

I've grown old enough to understand that I don't want to be an adult so I refuse.

As for my main foible, when I get on my soapbox and start to pontificate at my friends I go full orator mode and start projecting my voice. Generally, its something the others want to keep discrete and I have to be reminded to quiet down or I scare them. The problem is that I used to be timid and afraid all the time because I hated myself for being gay so I didn't talk or say too much. Once I was freed of that I became uncontainable which lends me to being my true self which is a combative loudmouth with delusions warriorhood. There are times when it's helpful to have a filter unless you're armed to the teeth.

 

Edited July 7, 2019 by MrM