Rainbow parenting styles: kids vs. parents

[Kileoli]

53 minutes ago, Davide said:

What do you mean offtopic? This topic is about parenting and you've been talking about Krista as you and Jason's mother. See, totally on topic. 😛

Thanks totally correct. It was somehow on the view of kids with gay parents or the view of parents on I don't know what and the danger of being mundane....

So yep, Jason has already accepted the challenge, accept your fate Jeff and write before Krista comes with her pearls....

PS @Jason Rimbaud, can you pretty please give me a summary of these pearls?!

And I shall burn in the wrath of my boss. I was supposed to finish a presentation.

[Jeff Burton]

23 minutes ago, Kileoli said:

And I shall burn in the wrath of my boss. I was supposed to finish a presentation.

You weren’t productive today. We discussed this. It’s lashings for you.

[Kileoli]

1 hour ago, Jeff Burton said:

You weren’t productive today. We discussed this. It’s lashings for you.

What? Did I land in one of Jason's fantasies or is it the wrong thread?

Give back my whip, sir. I totally saw when you took it.

[Krista]

I already take care of one man-child - we all know who that is, I do not need two more.  I have a full time job. 

And I've told @wildone more than once. If I wanted to tell my side of the story to a jury, he would've already been dealt with. Miles is just an excuse to go sightseeing, vacations do exist.  Although, I'd have to book the trip for the one month in Canada where there's the lowest chance for snow, so he'd expect me around July.

I like the element of surprise, but I do dread snow... 

[ReaderPaul]

6 hours ago, Jeff Burton said:

You weren’t productive today.  We discussed this.  It’s lashings for you.

Lashing has multiple possible meanings.  Lashing can mean firmly tying something to something else, or lash together.  It can mean be using whips, rope, or other things to beat or whip someone of something.  It can be verbal scolding or verbal severeness with someone.   It can be severe weather dumping lots of wind, rain, hail, and so on at an area.  Or, it can be as lot of a particular type of food, such as a slice of pie with a lot of whipped cream  (a lashing of whipped cream).  [Definitions from Cambridge dictionary, mostly.]

So what kind of lashing(s)?

[Kileoli]

34 minutes ago, ReaderPaul said:

what kind of lashing(s)?

You definitely don't want to know....me neither 😅

[Davide]

How did we end up on lashings in a topic about good parenting? That's awful parenting!

[Zombie]

2 hours ago, Krista said:

And I've told @wildone more than once. If I wanted to tell my side of the story to a jury, he would've already been dealt with

I think this is a warning - don’t provoke Krista   

 

[Jeff Burton]

5 minutes ago, Zombie said:

I think this is a warning - don’t provoke Krista   

 

This is totally the image I had in mind when discussing good parenting.

[Kileoli]

1 hour ago, Davide said:

How did we end up on lashings in a topic about good parenting? That's awful parenting!

We need examples of bad parenting so we need what not to do.

And I gave up on looking for a role model. 

[Kileoli]

There are always words for certain generation or certain purposes and there are term protected that you can't use it for something else.

So I was wondering the word "slut" is a protected word for females with special abilities or can it also be used for male?

I need to use this word properly.

[Davide]

3 minutes ago, Kileoli said:

There are always words for certain generation or certain purposes and there are term protected that you can't use it for something else.

So I was wondering the word "slut" is a protected word for females with special abilities or can it also be used for male?

I need to use this word properly.

The word traditionally carried a negative connotation and was used only for women, but some people thankfully use it differently now. But that's bad in two ways. The first part is shaming people for their consensual sexual habits and the second part is discrimination against women when you consider people tended to not react in the same way when it was men doing it. So I'd encourage using without any negative connotation and for any gender, which I sometimes see nowadays.

[Zombie]

2 hours ago, Kileoli said:

So I was wondering the word "slut" is a protected word for females with special abilities or can it also be used for male?

UK younger gen - slut seems to be more ‘gender neutral’, especially in the queer communities, even ‘reclaimed’ as other derogatory words have been (eg ‘queer’ itself)

can’t speak for US - totally different language

[Ron]

3 hours ago, Kileoli said:

So I was wondering the word "slut" is a protected word for females with special abilities or can it also be used for male?

The term male slut has been in use for a long time. At least as long as I began hitting the bars some forty-five years ago, and I suspect for far longer than that.

[Kileoli]

One of the biggest challenges for the parents of this time is the control and regulation of using phones. I am a big fan of definite times with defined programs, games, apps all color coded and nicely labeled and when the kids don't do their chores to forbid them the screen time right away. I'm also pretty aggressive when they drive me crazy, escalating things and seeing who can shout louder 😅 i also ask them to suggest a solution if they don't like mine, but most of the times I am way too angry and they are way too upset to find another solution.

My husband is the opposite, he's the man of negotiation and giving choices and room to discuss, Waiting for a proper time to discuss things and find alternatives. Problem is this proper times never arrive for him and the problem stays till the next crisis.

So today kid1 totally abused our trust. That's one not negotiable thing for me. I accept things, I let them play by papa's rules but lying that's a big no.

Luckily the papa agrees on this so we were all shouting and as an exception I was the quiet one and he was the shouting one. In the end kid1 pretty much ignored us and left with her God Father on a planned day trip. We as parents decided to take her phone for a week when she's back.I was suggesting to take it away for a longer time and he was like "dude no. You can't fly away for three weeks and ban all the possibilities for a bit of peace for me."

So I don't know now. Aren't we giving the kids the wrong signal?

Edited May 3 by Kileoli

[Zombie]

1 hour ago, Kileoli said:

We as parents decided to take her phone for a week when she's back.I was suggesting to take it away for a longer time and he was like "dude no. You can't fly away for three weeks and ban all the possibilities for a bit of peace for me."

UK schools are now banning kids using phones in schools - takes some of the heat /rage /hissy fits /rolling-around-on-the-floor-and-screaming off the dads…

 

 

Edited May 3 by Zombie

[Kileoli]

1 minute ago, Zombie said:

UK schools are now banning kids using phones in schools - takes some of the heat /rage /hissy fits /rolling-around-on-the-floor-and-screaming off the dads…

 

 

The phones are banned in Germany too. At least the primary school. But it does not solve the problem at home.

What bothers me most is kid 1 has the attention span of a good fish and doing other things when we talk to her. And what drives us really mad is she knows she's not supposed to use a phone but she goes and talk other adults to let her play on their phones without telling us or pretending she forgot or just saying she was doing something else. 

[Zombie]

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[BlueSpruce]

On 4/17/2026 at 5:32 PM, Kileoli said:

It's good to get it confirmed. I think the same but sometimes I'm not sure if I am doing it right or am I too strict because I'm afraid of someone treating the kids differently because of their parents' sexuality. 

I'm just thinking we were not given a lot of freedom, it was like the world was not so dangerous or the parents were not criticized for every action. I feel like no matter what we do, we're doing it wrong 😂

And it's normal to be overprotective, actually it's bad if you give the kids too much freedom. But then I have a feeling kids today are more self conscious and individually independent. I know at the age of 8 I was satisfied with climbing trees and waiting for the other kids to play soccer together or throw stones at the pigeons. My parents never asked me if I needed/ wanted something. 

But now my 8 year old daughter is telling me about investments and how she's planning to buy her house and farm,  how I should take videos of her explaining things to others to earn money, she even sells her plants to others. She amazes me how she negotiated her rights ( yep she thinks it's her right to have certain things). So it's totally a different world. Therefore it makes no sense to ban things , but instead focus on negotiations and problem solving. Another thing I notice about today's kids is that they understand the principles of money, risk, and reward much more quickly. My daughter, for example, easily explains why some decisions can bring profit and others can't. This even resembles the way adults analyze various online entertainment services, including Need for Spin online casino review at interacasino.com where it is also important to understand probabilities, control your decisions, and not act impulsively. It seems to me that instead of simple prohibitions, it is more useful to teach children to think critically and be responsible about any financial decisions today.

Still it would be interesting to know how other dads do things or if there's a kid with two dads or moms old enough here to say if it really made any difference or as long as they are loved they are fine.

Thats my biggest fear and I hope no parent experience it.

But then I try to be as responsible as a parent can be without crossing my own boundaries.

It seems to me that the main thing here is not how many mothers or fathers a child has, but whether she feels love and support at home. Judging by your story, your daughter is growing up confident, inquisitive and not afraid to express her own opinion. Honestly, this looks like a good result of parental upbringing.

[Kileoli]

On 6/25/2026 at 7:35 PM, BlueSpruce said:

It seems to me that the main thing here is not how many mothers or fathers a child has, but whether she feels love and support at home. Judging by your story, your daughter is growing up confident, inquisitive and not afraid to express her own opinion. Honestly, this looks like a good result of parental upbringing.

I hope it is the way you say. Because right now I know I won't be nominated for the price of best papa in the world. But it's true. The gender and number of parents don't count as long as they feel love and support.

Thanks for taking the time and commenting.

Edited June 29 by Kileoli