[DomLuka] TOSOM 12b

[MikeL]

The wait is over:

 

TOSOM 12b

Edited November 9, 2006 by MikeL

[captainrick]

AAARRGHHH! This is like torture! I'm down to my last fingernail and we're still not done. Don't know how long that one fingernail can hang on to this cliff.

What's happening to Frank's family, his mom, dad and sister? Where's Oliver and Jay? What happened to Mary? WHODUNIT to the tenth power. :unsure: We know Mary's dead. Bryan was last known to be at Franks, Jay and Oliver are in the house with Mary's dead body, and all we've discovered is that David is the one who offed the old lady and killed the cats. At least David's alive, WHEW!

 

:worship:

 

Way to go Dom!

 

 

Hugs all,

 

Rick

[Ratatosk]

You are cruel Dom!!! This second part was supposed to make us relieved and to give some sothening answers. Or was this just my own wishes?

 

Captain Rick is truelly right

 

AAARRGHHH!

 

So... after that emotional outbreak :king:

 

Brian is the second lunatic - he killed Mary.

 

While David is sent to hospital, Frank, Oliver and Jay will go over the lake and rescue the Seaberg family. Oliver will be the hero by stopping his father (and survive).

 

These predictions are my first And will propably be wrong all of them

 

The only relief is that chapter 13 is if not already written - a good amount is - and it have been easier to write than chapter 12.

[rekop1]

All I have to say is wow

[sat8997]

It was when they heard footsteps on the other side that Jay took note of a thirty-one-foot luxury boat on the lake that looked a lot like the ones rented out in town, and something about it seemed out of place. At least, here. Wincing, he pulled himself to his feet and took a step away from the door as he stared at it, still on the water.

[Jack Frost]

SHIT!!

 

C'mon! Enough with the cliffhangers...they're just pure torture!!!!

[kojaky]

Good chapter. I like the cliffhangers. Makes me imagine scenerios on what's gonna happen next. Just don't make us wait too long.

[C James]

Wow!!

 

So, at least David is alive. Frank shouldn't be in too much danger from David, even if David has snapped, because David is so weak.

 

Unless, of course, the reason for David's words is that he sees his father in the process of slamming the door shut.

 

I'm not sure how I feel about David now, due to him killing the old lady. I can understand why he did it, but it bothers me.

 

However, who killed Mary? I'm guessing it had to be Brian or Oliver. I don't think it was Oliver, and if it was Brian, why?

 

Wow, what a whodunit!

[MikeL]

Well...it appears that everyone in the Martin family, with the possible exception of Oliver, is homicidal. Even Oliver is suspect in his mother's death. While we would like to think he isn't capable, if he came to believe David was right...that their mother was lying to him...he could have struck out at her. He would certainly have had motive and opportunity.

 

Dom is good with the cliffhangers, but at least this one came with a happy note. David is alive and...may I be so bold as to venture...he and Oliver are two different people.

 

Hanging on.

Edited November 9, 2006 by MikeL

[Marty]

Absolutely brilliant!

 

Dom, you're a genius.

 

The waiting has been well worthwhile. You could rush these chapters out, but I'm sure they wouldn't be half as good if you did.

 

When this story is complete I intend to print it out and read it again at my leisure.

 

~ Marty ~

[Korbin81]

I am so glad David is alive! But I wonder if he will stay that way for long..... he has been living in a cesspool with open wounds.

[C James]

Well...it appears that everyone in the Martin family, with the possible exception of Oliver, is homicidal. Even Oliver is suspect in his mother's death. While we would like to think he isn't capable, if he came to believe David was right...that their mother was lying to him...he could have struck out at her. He would certainly have had motive and opportunity.

 

Dom is good with the cliffhangers, but at least this one came with a happy note. David is alive and...may I be so bold as to venture...he and Oliver are two different people.

 

Hanging on.

 

The thought occurs to me that we don't know if David really did kill the old lady: He might have been lying (he certainly had motive, to try and talk his way out of that hole).

 

If Oliver did kill his mother, I sure couldn't blame him. I just hope the father gets offed, too.

[bodgy]

Well, I like this chapter, but I see this as much more than a story (something I do with some films as well). I see it as how in the real world, when we read or are confronted by people acting in non conformist ways, that understanding how they got to that point, should help us to attempt to rehabilitate people.

 

There is good in everyone, no matter how well it has been masked.

 

 

bodgy

[NickolasJames8]

It wasn't Oliver, it was Brian...or Jay.

[Former Member]

I would just like to say that I am far too emotional for this story. By the end of it I was a mess of sobs and shaking but nevertheless awesome chapter and the next one needs to come out like now.

 

-Kayla-

[Caipirinha]

Dear Dom,

 

The fawn made me hate you irrationally and violently.

 

The last sentence in 12b made me love you, once again irrationally and violently.

 

I'm seriously considering not reading the last chapter because that way, in my own happy little rose colored world of fluffy clouds and fuzzy bunnies, everything resolves itself and everyone lives happily ever after. I really want to believe that all of your stories have happy endings but with you, you never seem to know.

 

Love,

 

Luigi.

[Korbin81]

I would just like to express my undying, everlasting, never-ending love for Dom and his creative mind! Your stories just keep getting better! Anyway, I had to read chapter 12b again because I was so excited thinking about what will happen in 13. One more time, I would like to say how surprised and relieved I am that David is alive. I still don't think he's going to make it, but maybe Frank can save him. In addition, now that I

[Ratatosk]

This was the end of Chapter 11. I think any rescue attempt will have to come from Frank.

 

Sharon

 

Well a lot can happen in a room full of hostages and only one person holding them. I think Frank will be the disturbance that will give Oliver the oppurtunity to surprise his father (... also by being an independent actor :2hands: ) thereby surprising both himself and all other.

[DavyReader]

The thought occurs to me that we don't know if David really did kill the old lady: He might have been lying (he certainly had motive, to try and talk his way out of that hole).

I agree: There is still some hope. But I'm leaning towards thinking that David was being honest. Otherwise he probably wouldn't have reproached Mary for trying to kill Oliver.

 

 

Well, I like this chapter, but I see this as much more than a story (something I do with some films as well). I see it as how in the real world, when we read or are confronted by people acting in non conformist ways, that understanding how they got to that point, should help us to attempt to rehabilitate people.

 

There is good in everyone, no matter how well it has been masked.

bodgy

This seems to be a crucial point Dom is making. But there is also a potential for bad. I am eager to learn if he, the plenipotentiary story teller, has mercy with his characters.

[rknapp]

Personally, I would have shit myself if a seemingly lifeless body started talking.

[johnM]

A friend of mine would always say: "You can never say 'Thank you' enough." After finishing both parts of Chapter 12, all I can say is 'Thank you', 'Thank you', 'Thank you'!

 

I've not come across an author - though I am sure there are many fine authors at this site and elsewhere - who shares his own raw emotions through the characters of his story, indeed invites the reader to enter into the story and immerse himself in the lives, events and soul searching of each character as they wrestle with the 'good' and the 'evil' within each character and each event. I find myself not just in awe of the struggles within the story, but also find myself questioning: "Is that 'good' or that 'evil' within me? How have I dealt with such emotions and forces in my life?" Dom, you've drawn me into the story, and I find myself struggling along with David and Oliver and Frank - and even Mary and the other figures. You are a masterful writer, and I really did mean it, when I wrote in another blog, that you have a fine novel within you. May I live long enough to see that come to life. I'm over 60, Dom, so get going NOW!

 

Thank you for sharing your talents, your ideas, your life through your writing. You've made my life richer for having "discovered" your site and stories.

 

 

JohnM

[MayaMys]

There was never a woman I hated as much as I hate Mary Martin. I hate her more then I hate Brian Martin. Brian Martin is one of those characters that I can say is truely evil, so it doesn't matter how I feel about him. He's not human. Mary is just....augh. I can't stand her. I find myself wanting it to have been Oliver that killed her, honestly, though I know that it's most likely that it was Brian.

 

As to what will happen next? I can't guess. I don't want to. I just want to say that this is Dom's most compelling piece of work, and one that I believe deserves getting published. I say: Dom, take this off the web, and send it to a publisher, because if they don't want it, they're retarded.

 

This story is not like Dom's other stories. It does not have a "gay is okay" ,"abuse is bad, and no one deserves it" or even an "accept your family" moral to it. This one is a thriller that make you think about how far a person can go while being manipulated. It shows how disgusting human beings can really be, and if anything, it's a bit of a downer. It's also a future New York Times best seller, if Dom gives it the chance to be. I do understand that after having a story published online, getting someone to actually license and publish it would be harder. I just have to say: Dom deserves making a living out of his writing.

[Billy]

Sorry I didn't put the below quotes in a box so you know who I'm replying to. I just joined today, I'm still in that learning stage

 

Reply to a post by Nickolas James

 

"I support a Nuclear Strike by Isreal on Syria and Iran" -

How can you condone such a barbic act that would kill 100,000's of people who have nothing to do with the politics that makes these nations enemies? Just as I don't agree but can do little to change my governments military occupation of Iraq. Is your support of a nuclear strike agains innocent people any different than the WT attacks. How do you think this action would bring peace?

And the next line you plead for the end of the killing in Darfur. Yet you want so many to die in the Middle East. Your mixed views of justice is confusing.

"Tell the President to stop the genocide in Darfur"

You and I are the same age, I cannot understand your wanting to save many in one country and kill many in another. Maybe it's the long camapign of propaganda that has been and continues to be waged against non-Israeli people of the Middle East.

Billy

Edited November 14, 2006 by Billy

[Billy]

Well a lot can happen in a room full of hostages and only one person holding them. I think Frank will be the disturbance that will give Oliver the oppurtunity to surprise his father

 

Yes I agree Oliver may be the hero in the hostage situation at Frank's house. I also think Oliver will die in the ensuing struggle with his father.

David will live though

Another thought, can it be another twist will have David taking Oliver's persona, therby saving him from being prosecuted for Odetta's death. Oh yes the head scars, mmm how will Dom fix that. Of course only one left alive who knows about the scars will be Frank.

TOSOM will make an awesome movie....Dom are you ready to adapt TOSOM for the screen.

Then you could quit your day job and write full time and your faithful readers won't have to wait for chapters.

(yep, I'm the same Billy. sorry I was the typical impatient teen.)

[C James]

Well a lot can happen in a room full of hostages and only one person holding them. I think Frank will be the disturbance that will give Oliver the oppurtunity to surprise his father (... also by being an independent actor :2hands: ) thereby surprising both himself and all other.

 

That is a very interesting theory! I like it!!

 

This has got to be the best suspense/whodunit story I've ever seen! We didn't even know that one twin existed for most of it, even though he was in every chapter!