Lisa

Yes, yes, yes expand this!! I'm anxious to know how these boys will survive in that world. I want to find out what happened? Why did most people die? What a dark piece, Cia. Your descriptions of death and loneliness were very vivid. So vivid that I was glad I was reading it in a brightly lit kitchen!

FINALLY!!! Angel and Imp always seemed destined to be together, IMO. Maybe it's the way they banter back and forth and how Angel sort of calms Imp's carnal nature. lol It was very clever the way you (or maybe the Upper Deck?) paired them as soul mates. Very cool indeed. Like Drew, I had never read a story with different pronouns, and I will admit, it was a bit disconcerting. I kept wanting to substitute her for hir and he for ze. lol I'm looking forward to the sequel, Tim!

Even reading this again brought tears to my eyes. Jeez, the other two stories I read tonight also had me crying. The battle scene was excellent; every detail was written out so beautifully that I felt I was right there with Oliver. I know when Oliver wakes up, he'll be angry at first (probably more jealous of Adam's love for Zaidu than anything), but seeing how Zaidu saved Adam's life and now his own, and seeing how they can be happy together, he'll come to love Zaidu also. I can't wait for the next antho from you, Addy!

Well, now I cried for a different reason. The scene with Sam and his mom had me all choked up. So glad they can finally BE a mother and son. Just dittoing Val and Gary, I was surprised Sam just killed his biological sperm donor without a second thought, just to "free" his mom, or just to get his mom back. I think if it were me, I would have wanted the rapist to see me. It definitely was a different kind of story, Emi! Good job!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELIAS!!!!! I hope you're having an awesome b-day today!

Emi, I'm sitting here with tears running down my face because I had a feeling I knew where this was leading. That this was based on a true story makes it even more horrific. I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that there are people out there, FAMILIES out there, with absolutely NO sense of humanity, ethics, morality, but most of all, love. These families who can happily, with smiling faces, POISON their own child, brother, sister, etc., are not human to me. And over something no one can control! It's just unfathomable. You did an amazing job of portraying a 'lost soul', Emi. I think you should try to publish this. Somewhere, anywhere. I don't know, it just really affected me. That's all I can say. I'm going on to your next story now. I just gotta wipe my tears so I can see the damn screen.

CONGRATS, DEF!!! I can't wait to start in on all these stories! It'll be a long night! Renee, these are some great incentives to get readers to comment and review stories. And genius to think of the extra incentive of writing a review on one or more stories! This will be tough competition for Tim!

I agree with Okie; I think once Brett's back and if Billy's able to take their relationship to the next level, he'll regret doing what little he did with Dustin. And I don't even want to know how Brett will react if/when he finds out what went down that night. Not that much did, but it's still more than what Billy did with his patient boyfriend. And all this "I'm not gay" talk is said too much by Billy. He's like protesting too much. lol As Rob said, be true to yourself, Billy, and admit how you feel. He already said (in his mind) that he knew Dustin wasn't 'like him', that Dustin liked girls. As far as Amanda, she does appear to be a tad smarter than I thought. Still a bitch of course, but she knows what's going on. She can see right through Billy. I don't like the idea that Brett is buying drugs from her and Max; that's definitely not good news. Wonder if Billy will bring it up. So your next chapter title made me think of this: "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor, would you be mine, could you be mine?...Won't you be my neighbor?" lol Sorry, couldn't resist!

Scary thoughts, Carl.

For the past six months I've been shocked he got as far as he did, never really thinking he could possibly be the next president of the United States. So yeah, my mouth was gaping open all night last night. Still can't believe it. I heard that half the people who said they were going to vote never voted.

Thanks to AC's status update, I saw this. I'm sorry I missed it last year. Tim, this was simply beautiful. You have such a way with words. I'm all cried out. I really need to catch up on your writings.

Whew! Thank God Corey thought back to when he first walked in, thus realizing it was the other guy (later learning it was Luc) who was grabbing Jason and not the other way around. Trust is pretty much the most important thing in a relationship. If you can't trust your partner, then who can you trust? Glad they're on their way back to gleeful bliss! Luc should be hunted down and shot. lol

I'm stoked you have more stories coming! Don't forget about Jesse & Co and Evan & Co!!

I'm starting chapter three now, and just like every other Comsie story I've read--I got sucked right in from the first word. But damn, I didn't even finish Dayne's story yet!!! lol Glad I have three weeks to read this one!

Totally love Eli! Totally love Devon! Chris, not so much. lol Chris is all about Chris. Thanks to Cia, this story might get a resurrection. I can't believe I never read this!

Totally, Cia! I'm going to start reading it now! Oh, and it's a totally manageable story--under 500 chapters!!

Yeah, Sasha has got to go! What a bitch! Tracy should have flung the eggs at her face! I'm glad Tracy and Alex have gotten together. Sounds like Alex had a lousy upbringing.

It thrills me that Zac and Billy's parents are so wonderful. They're just amazing. I wish every parent would learn from them. School turned out way better than Zac had thought. It's good that others see Kenny as an ass and not a friend at all. Zac has great teammates! I'm kind of nervous about the "date" with Irene and Omari. He seems like a nice guy, but Zac doesn't know anything about him. Omari might just want to get into Zac's pants and that's it. That's not what Zac is about. That's for sure. So I hope things go ok on their date and Zac isn't left running for the hills.

I love Comsie! This story doesn't ring a bell, so I'll definitely have to check it out. Funny, the kid in the picture he chose looks like Leif Garrett, circa 1976.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WILLIAM!!!!! I hope you had a great day!

I was thinking the same thing as Gee. Why on earth didn't Alex throw the party on a weekend when he didn't have to be up at the crack of dawn? lol I don't think Tracy should say anything about Sasha to his brother. Alex or the other people that know her should warn him. Why wouldn't Alex admit he bought the art piece because he knew Tracy drew it? Was it a misunderstanding? I can't see him reverting back to his obnoxious 18-year-old behavior. I hope Alex catches up to Tracy so he can explain.

I really like the characters in this story, Bndmetl. You can tell how much Callen and Tracy love each other. Callen doesn't seem to hold any grudge about having to take care of Tracy after their folks died, despite having to leave Cambridge and his girlfriend behind. Hey, and attending Duke is nothing to laugh at! Duke is a very prestigious school. I do have to agree with Gee; I was wondering the same thing about the game. Callen and Tracy first met the team at the first game of the season? Would that really happen? Wouldn't they have to go to some practices first? Especially since they haven't played hockey in a while? They would just be thrown into a game? Ok, so as long as you're up for some constructive crit, I have some. It's obvious you're from the UK, or at least not from the state. I don't know anyone here who has ever referred to their mom as 'mum'. It's ok to spell words like 'realised' ('realized') the way you're used to, but if a character refers to his mom, it's definitely 'mom'. Also...you're switching tenses faster than Tracy can look at his furry creature friend's furry creature! You go from past tense to present tense even in the same sentence. Stick to one tense. My last crit would be punctuation. Punctuation is your friend. Punctuation is the difference between understanding a sentence and being totally confused by a sentence. Many of your sentences need commas separating the thoughts or words in the dialogues. Check out the Writer's Corner; there are many helpful threads in there about writing. I know Cia has written great posts on writing, grammar, punctuation, etc. Bndmtl, this is an enjoyable story so far. All you need is a little tweaking so the errors aren't distracting to the readers. On to chapter two.

I totally agree with Spikey about how Jackson isn't freaking out over the fact he might be gay, or at least bi. He's trying to convince Luke to have a go at a relationship, when you would think it'd be the other way around. I was all choked up when Toby embraced Jackson and he and Derek told him they didn't care about his sexuality; they'll still be the best of friends. Now Jackson knows he can count on them (and Lilly). Lilly's a very insightful girl. Great chapter, Krista! Hopefully Luke's warming up to the idea, as his "I promise to be Luke" statement is uttered.

A beautiful start to a story, Allopathie! Like William, I can learn German, and I can re-learn my French! Ah, I know of Deutsche Bank; my mom used to use them. Funny, from your pictures of the boys, I thought the cute brunette would have been Jan (maybe because he looks older than fourteen). Anyway, I totally enjoyed your first chapter (and it was extremely well written ), and I look forward to chapter two. =)

Great chapter, Lilly! I wanted to beat up on Daniels too! What a bully! I think it's normal for Toni to freeze up like that because number one, he wasn't expecting him to be there, and number two, when you're frozen in fear you kind of forget not to be afraid! Toni's fighting instincts didn't kick in at that moment. Toni is dense though! I agree with your readers who commented on that! Especially when Marc practically spelled it out for him! lol Lilly, in response to your review response in the last chapter, I'd love to help you, but unfortunately I don't have the time now. I did notice that you were looking for an editor. I don't know if anyone responded to that. Honestly, you don't have many things to work on. Just the fragmented sentences and the dialogue tags. Everything else seems fine. If you check out the archives in the Writer's Corner, there's got to be something there from Cia. She writes really good, informative posts on writing.