pvtguy
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Everything posted by pvtguy
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This format forces you to create a lot in a short amount of space, and you do not disappoint! One can feel the tension, excitement, and drama of the show. Well done! Come on, Tuesday!!! Tony
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It was good to see the planning for the Haunted House. It was very real with the near fight over who would be doing what. It was good to see the resolution. The parties were wonderful - very creative! Wonderful chapter!
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I really like the premise of this story: siblings who really don't know one another and only have their mother in common between the two sets of full-blooded sibs. I like the fact that the story is unveiling slowly. It gives a chance to feel present with them. My only constructive criticism is the rough grammar seen periodically. Need a proofreader? I would volunteer! Tony
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Wonderfully warm and very natural chapter! Though, as indicated, the content was known somewhat beforehand before taping, it still felt very spontaneous. In that Cristina has announced what is happening in her life, her husband is on notice that she has very powerful people working for her. Looking forward to Friday!! Tony
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ACH!!!! Just as you get to the solution, you give us a short chapter with a cliffhanger! Good job! Next chapter soon, please!!!!
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You make even the hum-drum, day to day experiences engaging. This chapter drops hints of coming events: the adoptions, the Haunted House, Julie's progress (or lack thereof), the kids growing up, and the continued comradery of the brothers/husbands as they continue the tradition of the Castaway Hotel. Wonderful work! Tony
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The final scene sums up a lot: Sue has been confronted in very plain language and it can only be assumed that her sharing this information with Don is what drove him out of the house. Robbie has heard himself referred to as a normal teenager - not one with serious disabilities or abnormalities. Thanks for posting...hope the next chapter comes soon! Tony
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I do understand this - I just mean that I am enjoying the story and its development.
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I love how you are taking us through the inquiring mind of the detective at heart. I am eager to see how this pulls together.
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Marvelous job, Carlos. Sticking to the 1000 word limit will definitely be challenging, but it does teach good lessons in precise writing. I applaud your efforts. As to the story, you are a master at creating wonderful characters and compelling stories. How wonderful that Chipper has the contacts to help immediately with Cristina's situation: not everyone who is in this position has those resources so readily available. I am eager to see how this progresses. I do like this format, though will admit I also enjoy your longer chapters too. Tony
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I am so glad you are posting another story. In focusing on one of the Squad, you still are keeping us connected to the family. It actually allows for a much more complete view of another individual member. I, for one (and I'm sure I'm not alone), appreciate your sharing your talent and feel a void when you take a well-deserved break. Tony
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Sometimes it takes something that interrupts one's normal thinking to begin to view things from a new perspective. I'm eager to see where this takes us...
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I can understand this POV, but I also think about when the kids are older and think about their mother. It is great that what they will remember is her in better health and wanting to give them the gift of a loving home, which they have found. I do know that there is also the POV that one wants to be able to learn from and say things from their parent while they can. Perhaps in that Hunter and Hayden are still rather young (8 years old), then having negative memories of the nursing home would not be the greatest either. I like the way you're handling it - just my own questions.
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Another enjoyable chapter. And...we got to vicariously visit a museum and ride an Incline Plane! Just wondering - what is the distance they have to travel to visit Julie? I can't understand why they wouldn't visit more often, realizing her condition and that they are eventually going to have to deal with her death?
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Slow, but sure, it sounds as though things are starting to fall into place.
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" I'm still considering another book, but I'll be putting out a feeler in the next chapter to see how many are interested in me doing that." Can you consider the first vote for another book? Yes!!!!!
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To be honest - and I know you don't want me to be dishonest - this is slogging along a little too slowly for my taste. Doesn't mean I won't continue - I will. I like the story actually. There just seems to be so little action occurring. Perhaps that is your strategy: all this builds up to a sudden revelation and then the consequences. I guess we shall see!
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And...a math lesson along with a story of potential seduction!
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Truly wonderful It was a great trip down memory lane in addition to feeling the warmth of the family.
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Another wonderful chapter. I got a good chuckle out of the scene with Becky seeing the boys skinny dipping. I also felt the emotion between Holly and her mother as they said their 'good-byes'. Thanks again for continuing this story. It has been a joy to read it from the very beginning. Tony
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The true mark of friendship.
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I hear themes of Bluegrass in the last two poems. Beautiful!
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I am amazed at the planning it takes to even do the most mundane things - like playing video games - when you have this amount of people living under the same roof! This entire series started with, and continues, with some very loving adult(s) who responded to a need and providing a home for boys who, otherwise, would have been either homeless or institutionalized. It deals with issues realistically - such as acknowledging that the boys would be sexually active - but wraps them in a positive and spiritually based lifestyle. This chapter demonstrates these points most aptly. Great going, Bill.
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Just wondering if Danny and Brandon will have a talk with Holly as they did with Noah and Ryan? Even if she is confused, it might help her to talk it out... Anyway, another enjoyable chapter in this wonderful series. Tony
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There are many aspects of this story that are outstanding: the rich descriptions of the town of Ravello and the surrounding environs encourages one (as it did for me) to actually research and see pictures of the area to fully appreciate the experience that young Gianni discovers after he has been transplanted there following the death of his parents. It is a story of generational differences in understanding. It is a story of how grief is experienced by those generations. Gianni finds a friend in Angelo and, in recalling his parents' teaching to him to be true to himself, discovers feelings. This is a story that is exceptionally well-written and, while slow in its development, is fully engaging in its emotional depth.
