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JeffreyL
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Everything posted by JeffreyL
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I like Elliott and Cody, and you have written several supporting characters that could easily lead a story of their own! The surprise party was fun, and the blow job from Jon was pretty erotic! I must agree with Centexhairysub. It seems like having your party at a Ragers park was not smart. Good writing! Thanks.
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There are seven chapters posted, and I am just now finding this story. After reading the prologue I think this will be a most enjoyable read! You have set up a lot of possibilities. And of course with the current Covid epidemic your story is extra interesting. I am moving on to a binge read. Thanks.
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It always makes me feel good when I see another chapter has posted! It seems Travis has fit right in! Thanks.
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Chapter 7 - Dear Future Husband
JeffreyL commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 7 - Dear Future Husband
It was great to see Paul get what was coming to him! I am glad Nash resigned. He deserved more support from the committee that he was getting. I keep wondering about Penn and Cam. Is theirs a marriage in name only? Will Penn taking up with Nash change things between Penn and Cam? Still loving these characters and their story! Well maybe not Lee and Paul, but every story needs its villain (antagonist?). Thanks.- 36 comments
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Once again you have created some interesting characters. I like Mason a lot! He is the type of character I like to read about: big guy; kind of gruff. I hope he turns out to be a softie inside. I think Billy is a hoot! He is such a great contrast to Mason he makes the perfect foil! I am not so sure about Rhys and Levine. To me, neither is very likeable. And a ghost?!! I am looking forward to chapter two! Thanks.
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Good story and great characters! I didn't know if I would warm up to Alex at first. He was a bit of a jerk. Of course Jeremy I liked from the git go. I enjoyed Alex's journey, and I am glad he got help and support from his family and especially Jeremy. I was pleased he got things sorted with Brandon and got his life back on track. Thanks.
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Things just keep getting more and more interesting! I continue to love these characters and their story! I wish I knew Kev and Glen so I could help them support their boys like so many of the supporting characters do. Thanks.
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Eleven O’clock and After
JeffreyL commented on Drew Payne's story chapter in Eleven O’clock and After
Hey Drew, Since finding these stories I have been slowly but steadily reading through them. I haven't commented on each one, but I have enjoyed them all. I especially enjoyed this story. It was nice to see your narrator finally realize is crush on Darren was never going anywhere, and that it was time to get on with his own life. Thanks. -
If creepy was your goal for this story, I'd say you succeeded! I enjoyed reading it, but I didn't know where it was going until near the end. With this success you need to write another one sometime. Thanks.
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I tend to enjoy being at home. I have days of feeling housebound and days of ennui since this whole Covid/ social distancing started. On the plus side my daughter and her fiance live with me. Knock on wood we are all well, and I have family to help me get back on track. Stay well Tim and hang in there. 😷❤
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The moon is a favorite subject of mine. Your descriptions are beautiful and quickly create a picture in my mind. I think the first poem is my favorite! I too wondered if the man in the moon ate the cheese! 😷😉❤ Thanks.
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Chapter 6 - Trying to Cope
JeffreyL commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 6 - Trying to Cope
Another well written chapter! You did an amazing job capturing Nash's mental state. His conversation with Penn was right on! The dialogue, especially Penn, was exactly what I would expect. I feel confident Penn will help Nash deal with Lee. I wonder if Lee will get a visit from the Knott mafia? 😷😆 Thanks.- 33 comments
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This has been a wonderful story! I am looking forward to reading the next part. Thanks.
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The Longest Day Must Have an End
JeffreyL commented on Drew Payne's story chapter in The Longest Day Must Have an End
You wrote this story with sadness and sensitivity. I felt sad for Eric as he watched his partner slowly die. Next will come that relief and guilt for Eric when Justin dies. It would be easy to be critical of Eric and Justin for their rather one sided relationship, but it is very representative of the time. This makes me think of that old saying, "Those that forget history are doomed to repeat it." People who did not live through the AIDS epidemic often do not realize how it was. Your story is a reminder. I am glad you included the storyline about Davie and Sean. It was a ray of hope in a sad story. Very well written! Thanks. -
A new boat for more fishing is a wonderful thing! Add to that it is bigger and safer. That will probably improve their catch. Will Kevin be able to retire from his day job? Or does he enjoy it and need it for a stable income? Will Uncle be the captain of the new boat? Is the fishing mostly income for him and the boys? I am happy with this turn of events! Thanks.
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Three great bits! I enjoyed each. I agree with the comment to put them together for a longer story. Take your time. I can be patient. 😷😉 Thanks.
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I enjoyed chapter two, and I definitely plan to keep reading! Thanks.
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You have written some interesting characters. I am curious as to how you will bring them together. It seems fairly obvious that Ethan will use the book on his stepfather, but you never know where the author will take you. I am on to chapter two and excited to read more! Thanks.
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The Chapel Door Was Missing
JeffreyL commented on Drew Payne's story chapter in The Chapel Door Was Missing
I am glad to see Ethan living the happy, fulfilling life he had imagined when he and Leo were young. He was brave to defy his father and accept the job in Edinburgh. And then the fates smiled and he met James! It is probably wrong to say, but I feel glad that Ethan moved on to a better life while his father, the pastor, and even the chapel had been diminished. You did a great job portraying the love and then horror of his young life! The end was a pleasant surprise I wasn't really anticipating. Thanks. -
A New (Cute) Friend Inspires Mike
JeffreyL commented on Tallguyct's story chapter in A New (Cute) Friend Inspires Mike
Mike needs to be commended for his new lifestyle plan! It is too bad it took his cousin's death to make him realize what is lifestyle was doing to his health and wellness. My only concern is about the changes he is making. I think a lot of big changes (smoking, diet, exercise, beer/alcohol) all at once can be a challenge. Luckily for him, he has his wife, co-worker, and neighbor as support people already. A good cheering squad can make a big difference. I like how you're writing his thoughts and dialogue about these changes. Having been through this same thing for smoking and diet I can sympathize. Thanks. -
Gotta love those mermaids! 😷❤🧜♀️🧜♀️🧜♀️🧜♀️ It is always a pleasure to read another chapter of this most enjoyable story! Thanks.
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You know the old saying about free advice? 🤔 You get what you pay for. 😆 This story made me chuckle, except for the end. The blah - blah - blah advice was funny, and all so similar. I couldn't imagine what Tom's preoccupation was. Worry for his dad woud trump everything else. Very enjoyable! Thanks.
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In spite of finding him distasteful, there must have been something to prompt you to write this story. I have seen people who intrigued me, and had me speculating about them and their life. I have never been infatuated to the point of stalking someone. There is an eew factor, but your writing really captured his feelings. I was pretty disgusted at his rationalization for not stepping up and helping Christopher. I think I would call this a character study, and I thought it was well written, even with the eew feeling. Thanks.
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My experience in this area is limited to a few "chorus" or supporting roles in community theater. Since the runs are three weeks, you just really settle into the role and it's over. I sympathized with Jamie. You really did a goog job portraying his frustrations. I liked NoSkis' comment about being careful what you wish for! Good job! I always enjoy reading your stories. Thanks.
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