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JeffreyL

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  1. JeffreyL

    Chapter 50

    JeffreyL commented on WolfM's story chapter in Chapter 50

    Hey Wolf! It's been like getting a chance to visit with old friends. This is my fifth reading of Ethan's and Aiden's story. I enjoyed it as much as I did the first time! Thank you. Jeff
  2. JeffreyL
    I continue to enjoy these characters and their story! Colin and Olwain's romance. Olwain and Mhairi reconnecting. Mhairi and Joe's changing/improving relationship. So much going on with the interesting "family" and a great supporting cast! Thanks.
  3. JeffreyL
    This is clever and fun, Tim! And a good portrait of spring. Thanks.
  4. JeffreyL

    Gratitude

    JeffreyL commented on Mikiesboy's story chapter in Gratitude

    It is a gray, drizzly morning here (western Washington State), and your poems are extra appropriate. I enjoyed them both and the gentle, peaceful message. Thank you Tim.
  5. JeffreyL

    Chapter 25 Caught

    JeffreyL commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 25 Caught

    Good characters; good dialog; good story. All add up to a wonderful reading experience! Thanks for sharing this story!
  6. JeffreyL
    I haven't commented in a while, but I continue to enjoy this story! You have written such great characters! I am so glad Jubal and Lucas have finally come together. No more dancing around each other. I also wanted to repeat an earlier comment. You are doing a great job with the period (cowboy?) dialog! In fact think you just keep getting better!! I'm looking forward to more time with the guys. Thanks.
  7. JeffreyL

    Dominos

    JeffreyL commented on frozenphenix's story chapter in Dominos

    I enjoyed the beginning of this story! I am curious to see where it goes from here. I am older and from a smaller town. I don't understand most of the slang 8n the conversation between Mike and Luke. A short glossary would have been helpful for me. Thanks.
  8. JeffreyL

    Chapter 1

    JeffreyL commented on Mancunian's story chapter in Chapter 1

    You have created several interesting characters. I think I will quickly become attached to them. I look forward to what happens next. Thanks.
  9. JeffreyL

    Chapter 1

    JeffreyL commented on chris191070's story chapter in Chapter 1

    What a great story! Short stories can be tricky, but you didn't miss a beat! Interesting, well-rounded characters and an interesting plot. I'm certain you could flesh out the story, but it doesn't need it. It is just right the way you wrote it. Thanks.
  10. JeffreyL

    Chapter 7

    JeffreyL commented on chris191070's story chapter in Chapter 7

    I loved the premise. It was not your usual haunted house story! I really liked Coop and Pete. You did a terrific job of writing Pete's gradual possession by the cottage. I'm glad you ended it with HEA. I was wondering how you were going to pull Pete out of his tailspin! I look forward to reading more of your stories. Thanks.
  11. JeffreyL

    Chapter 1

    JeffreyL commented on kbois's story chapter in Chapter 1

    Great characters and story! I really enjoyed this! Is the circus building based on a real place or made up? Thanks.
  12. JeffreyL
    Great characters! Well written! I agree with CincyKris who commented that there is lots of potential for stories here! Thanks.
  13. JeffreyL
    Great characters, good story! It works well as part of an anthology, but could also develop into a good, longer story. Thanks.
  14. JeffreyL
    I just wanted to tell you how much I am enjoying this story! I like the setting and the description of the planning and building. Your characters are interesting and I am growing to care about them and be interested in their story. Using the "cowboy dialect" was a great choice! It adds another layer to the story! Keep up the good writing. Thanks.
  15. JeffreyL

    Chapter 1

    JeffreyL commented on chris191070's story chapter in Chapter 1

    Good characters and story! Is this your first story? It was very enjoyable! I hope you write more. I'll be looking for them. Thanks.
  16. JeffreyL

    Chapter 1

    JeffreyL commented on Libby Drew's story chapter in Chapter 1

    Your story starts with tidbits of information that tease and bring up lots of questions. Micco is an interesting character, and many of the questions are about him. You have definitely piqued my curiosity, and I will try to be patient for the next chapter. Thanks.
  17. JeffreyL

    Chapter 2

    JeffreyL commented on Justin4Fun's story chapter in Chapter 2

    I just read the first two chapters, and I really like your characters! I will try to be patient as you peel away the layers and reveal truths about Scott and Greg. Thanks.
  18. JeffreyL

    Chapter 1

    JeffreyL commented on Flame Stories's story chapter in Chapter 1

    Your story is off to an interesting start! The set up is intriguing, and I am curious about the main character. I'm looking forward to reading more. Thanks.
  19. JeffreyL
    Your writing is always really good, but you blew it out of the water with the conversation between Kansas and Noah! The whole scene between them was wonderful! The sadness talk was icing on the cake! I almost lost it when Kyan watched Noah show pictures and tell Gracie about Mom. I'd have been like Perry and try to hide my tears. Thanks.
  20. JeffreyL

    The Coup

    JeffreyL commented on Sean J Halford's story chapter in The Coup

    Hooray!! Chris and Cal have confessed their feelings in this lovely, romantic chapter! In my greedy little reader's heart I am cheering, "More! More! More!" Thanks.
  21. JeffreyL

    Twenty-Nine

    JeffreyL commented on Drew Payne's story chapter in Twenty-Nine

    It always makes me a bit sad to read about people who don't have much of a Christmas. I am touched when someone gets special, unexpected gifts. You did an excellent job capturing Liam's feelings about this new Christmas experience! Thanks.
  22. JeffreyL

    Galaxies

    JeffreyL commented on Sean J Halford's story chapter in Galaxies

    I really enjoy the way you describe the interactions between Cal and Chris! Everything feels real! It is easy to see Cal is falling in love. I don't know what to think about Chris. He definitely is enjoying this new friendship, but I keep thinking he is sending mixed messages. Cal seems to think so too. More good story, and once again I'm anxious for more! Thanks.
  23. JeffreyL

    Amadoda

    JeffreyL commented on Sean J Halford's story chapter in Amadoda

    This story just gets better with each chapter! I am really liking Caleb and Chris, and I hope Chris can help Caleb learn to deal with the bullies! Your dialog is first- rate! It sounds real and appropriate for the characters. I have a small SA connection so, many of the places you name bring back fond memories from a visit in 1975.
  24. JeffreyL
    This story is off to a good start! Boys' school geek being bullied and then rescued is not a unique theme, but your characters are interesting and very intriguing! I have several questions, and I am anxious to read more! Thanks.
  25. JeffreyL

    Chapter 5

    JeffreyL commented on John Henry's story chapter in Chapter 5

    I am enjoying getting to know these characters! I have settled in to who is who and how they all fit together. Your dialog is great! It flows very naturally; nothing stilted or flat. Bryan and Diego are great main characters! I like their relationship and the love they show for each other. I look forward to reading more of their story! Thanks.
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