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JeffreyL
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Everything posted by JeffreyL
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I must confess somewhere in the middle I was less excited about these guys. I was having trouble with keeping straight who was who. The premise was great! I liked the idea of the letters, and I really liked the beginning. Now I am back to really enjoying the story and the last several chapters where the reveal for Max and Isaac gets closer and actually happens! I am hopeful the ending will have them being friends. Thanks.
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I think this chapter is proof you were a travel agent in a previous life. 😀 You still manage to pack a lot of information into each chapter. I like the way a conversation between Carlos and Ozzie can get us up to date on what other characters are up to. There seem to be some differences in the way these chapters are written, but I can't put my finger on it. I guess your writing style is evolving. Oh well, as I often say, "Love these guys; love your stories." Thanks.
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Were all these characters just hanging around in your brain waiting to be written about? There's Drew, who I've labeled as my kind of hero. Then we get Aria, Amara, their dysfunctional parents, and the staff. Moving on you include their friends; some weird, some not-so, and Jay. Mam, Cerrian, and now Grandmother Gracie. Wow! I love all of them, and maybe love to hate a couple of them. I can't wait to read more about Grandmother and see what happens next! Thanks for creating these terrific characters and telling their story.
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The First Night of Spring
JeffreyL commented on Drew Payne's story chapter in The First Night of Spring
Great short story! I really enjoyed Dog Rose and his time with Ryan. What a nice way to end a life of abuse. Thanks. -
The sexual tension between the two is palpable! Your writing has done a great job of conveying it! I am anxious to read about the tattoo and looking forward to reading about some red hot sex! Thanks.
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An unlikely beginning and an interesting middle lead to a happy ending! Great story! I really liked Chris and Josh, and Jason was a nice addition at the end! I especially appreciated the epilogue. You did a good job wrapping things up. I feel I know the general direction life is taking the family, but you left room for me to imagine how things will happen. Thanks.
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From beginning to end this was a great adventure! Characters, dialogue, and descriptions were all first rate! Thank you for writing and sharing this story.
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I am slowly catching up. As you reveal more information, it just creates more questions. I am enjoying the romance between Paul and Corbin and the growing presence of Luca and his family. I can't wait to see what's next! Thanks.
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Thanks for creating these wonderful characters and for telling their story! Your writing is terrific! Thanks, Tim.
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To the best of my knowledge, I don't know anyone who is transgender. Your story brought up several things I'd never thought of, and you did it with two really great characters. Your portrayal of, and dialogue for both felt very real and was done with a great deal of sensitivity. Thank you.
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You did a great job setting up the story! Looks like it will be another one of your hard to put down (or maybe wait for the next installment) stories. Thanks.
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I have enjoyed reading many of your stories, but I think this is one of my favorites. Although I am a "city boy," my grandfather and many earlier relatives were farmers. It was interesting to read about the hard work and determination needed to build a successful farm from nothing. I assume this is a realistic portrait of Australian settlers, and I wondered if these characters were based on your relatives? Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.
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Great dialogue! I love the conversations you write! Whether talking or thinking, I like the voice you've given Drew; the twins and Jay, too, but especially Drew. Thanks.
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This chapter was more than OK, as many readers said in their responses. It was just right. And isn't Ian a smooth talker! Thanks.
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Great conversation at dinner! What a clever way to get them to share information! Not all credit goes to Ian. That writer deserves some too. Thanks.
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I enjoyed the conversation between Greg and Teresa; I really like the conversation between Kyle and Greg! You did a tremendous job writing both conversations! You also did a great job describing Greg's rape without going into too much detail. What you wrote was horrific enough, but I thought you had a good balance betweens what you told and what you left out. It is good to see Greg begin to heal. Thanks.
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This story continues to be first rate! I am really enjoying getting to know Ian and Lex. I'm voting for Lex waking up happy when he sees where he is. 😊 Thanks.
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I'm pleasantly surprised and happy that Darren and Dad were supportive of Loz. It is also good his therapy is helping. I think it's great that you wrote Loz with good and bad sides to his personality. Although he is the villain in this story, he is not just bad. I think it's the same with most people in real life. I am glad he has a chance to get his life back on track. Thanks.
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Is the new family a red herring or a real threat? Corbin seems a bit paranoid, but maybe with good reason. I am anxious to see what you have planned next for these guys. I hope Paul continues to be a source of stability for Corbin. I hope at some point Corbin decides he can trust Paul with the truth about his past. Thanks.
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I thought I knew the names, but I couldn't remember from where. This was a fun short story! Thanks for sharing, and thanks to avidreadr and Valkyrie for reminding me who Goofus and Gallant are.
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This is a great chapter for Louis! The speed of his resignation surprised him, but he seemed to keep it mostly to himself. The meeting with the child welfare people was interesting. I loved Don's snarky attitude while he told them off. I am anxious for Max to move in ASAP. Big changes happening soon! Are you tired of me saying how much I love these characters and the way you are writing their story? 😍 Thank you.
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Vladimir - The Lighthouse
JeffreyL commented on AusGlitterati's story chapter in Vladimir - The Lighthouse
You did a great job with this chapter! It was interesting to read what was going on in Vlad's mind. You were very clever! I liked how Cynthia's voice seemed to interrupt the voices in Vlad's head. Vlad's mom is a great character! I appreciated her support of Tyson. I think I like her even more here than in the previous chapters. I hope Tyson can become Vlad's lighthouse, and they can support each other. Thanks. -
I like the way things are moving forward for Paul and Corbin. Thanks.
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Traitorous Mind and Shards
JeffreyL commented on Mikiesboy's story chapter in Traitorous Mind and Shards
I always enjoy reading what you write. It is sometimes happy, more often sad, and always thought provoking. Your first poem is clever, and I sympathize with the feelings. I don't know about the second one. I don't really know you, but I'd like to think you wouldn't shatter. And if you did, there are a lot of people who care about you and love you who would bring glue. Thanks for sharing. -
Lex is a wonderful character, but still an enigma. 🤔 I am enjoying the build up, but you could drop a hint or two along the way. The questions are piling up faster than the answers. 😄 Still really enjoying your writing and characters! Looking forward to more. Thanks.
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