@JayT. Sweetheart don't fear. We all grieve in our own time, and so there is no need for you to justify it to anyone. Personally, I believe in celebration of life ceremonies. I no longer attend funerals, and I don't do graveyards. Does this make me a bad person? I refuse to waste thousands of dollars to be planted, and my family has agreed to honor my wishes. I have already signed forms to have my body donated to the University of Pittsburgh. (I don't think they'll use it for much, probably just cut the sucker up,) LOL When I go into eternal sleep, my family will have a party to celebrate my life, and hopefully move on.
I give my sincerest condolences for your loss. Keep your chin up.