Be Rad - 10. Chapter 10

July 5, 1980

 

“I can't believe you just left me there,” Jake yelled at me. We were all standing on the taxiway at the airport, getting ready to board Stef's plane and get the fuck out of Claremont. Everyone turned to look at us, he was creating a spectacle, and that made me even angrier than I already was.

 

“Well you were nowhere to be found. I figured that since you'd been acting like such a slut since we got here, you’d found someone to take you up on your offer.” I was pissed at him, and that surprised him. I'm not sure if it was because of that, or because he was guilty of fucking around, but whatever the reason, at least it took him down a notch or two.

 

“I packed your stuff up for you anyway,” he said, still being nasty.

 

“Thanks,” I said, but my tone made it seem more like I’d simply said ‘fuck you’. He went into a sulking mood, which was just fine with me.

 

I had been too tired and too disgusted with Jake to head back to the Montrosity, so I’d spent the night with Ace and Billy in our grandparents’ home. We had come straight to the plane, wanting like everyone else to get away from this place.

 

We boarded the plane and sat in pretty much the same spots we'd had on the way out. JP and Sam sat up front with Stef and Greg. Isidore was right behind them, with the rest of us spread out beyond that. As the plane leveled off somewhere over Dayton, I saw Sam bitching at JP. I was really mad at Sam, and seeing him denigrate my dad like that just fueled that anger. I couldn't stay in the back. I controlled my temper and moved up front next to Stef.

 

JP and Sam were arguing in Italian. Of all the people in the plane, I was the only one fluent enough in that language to keep up with their conversation. Languages came easily to me. I was fluent in French, Spanish, and Italian. I guess being weird has some side benefits, and that's one of them.

 

“So you were off with Frank Hayes again. Just like last year. And you promised me that you wouldn't.” Sam was almost screaming at him, something definitely not tolerated in our household. My parents viewed yelling as a form of abuse, and were adamant that we treat each other with respect. Why did JP let Sam get away with that?

 

JP eyed him coldly and calmly. “His son and Billy just found out they were cousins. Don't you think it makes sense that he'd want to talk about it?”

 

“Oh yeah, sure. Talking. Is that what you call it now? You sucking his dick? That's talking?”

 

JP seemed unperturbed, but I could tell he was really upset because his lower lip gave the slightest quiver. “That's unfair and unreasonable. I have given you no reason not to trust me.”

 

“Well, every time you've been with him you fuck around with him, and now you're with him again, off alone, and I'm supposed to believe you're not fucking him?”

 

I felt the anger boiling up, the rage bursting through, until I could control it no longer. “You are a fucking hypocrite,” I said to him, loudly, and in English. Everyone in the plane stopped and stared. Stefan looked at me with warning and concern.

 

At first Sam just stared at me, shocked that I’d say that to him, but he got his composure back quickly enough. “What did you say to me?” Sam demanded, adopting an aggressive pose. He was using his loud voice and his demeanor to try and intimidate me. He knew me better than that. He should have remembered that would only make me fight back that much harder.

 

“I said you're a fucking hypocrite. You sit here accusing Dad of sneaking off with Frank Hayes when you were the one off fucking around.”

 

“Don't talk to me like that. You don't talk to me like that,” he yelled.

 

“I'll talk to you any way I God damn well please,” I yelled back, getting right in his face. He hadn't expected that. “I'm not afraid of your big loud mouth. I know you're just using it to dodge the issue.”

 

“I was not fucking around with anyone, and you are in for some serious trouble when we get home.”

 

I eyed him coldly, just like JP would, only I didn't have the weakness for him JP had. “Save your threats. So you’re telling me that the whole time we were in Claremont you didn't fuck around with anyone? Besides Dad?”

 

“I don't have to...” he started to bluster.

 

“Answer the God damn question, asshole,” I yelled.

 

I caught an extraordinary gesture on his part, one he expected to hide from me but he didn't quite pull it off. He glanced back at Jake to see if Jake had talked. Jake must have given him an imperceptible negative indication. “It's none of your business, but no, I didn't.”

 

“Then you're a liar, as well as a hypocrite.”

 

“That's all the shit I'm gonna take from you,” he yelled.

 

“Alright,” I said calmly. “Let's see if I can refresh your memory. I was walking down the path into the woods and I came around a bend and there you were with Jake, naked from the waist down. You had him pinned against a tree with his legs wrapped around your back, while you fucked him. I stood there and watched you, and watched Jake try to control his moaning to keep the noise down.” I had been explicit on purpose, to shock the rest of the people in the plane.

 

He stared at me for a couple of seconds, probably trying to figure out how to handle that accusation. “That's a nice fantasy,” he said. “What are you, writing porn now?”

 

There was a very uncomfortable pause, while everyone digested what had just happened. I’d accused Sam of fucking Jake and he’d denied it. It was my word against his, and he was going to leave it just like that. I figured his next step would be to try and discredit me, so I rapidly scanned my brain, trying to think of a strategy to counter that.

 

Suddenly someone else spoke. “You are a liar. He was not alone. I was there with him,” Stefan said. He’d joined the fight, come in to back me up, just as he always had.

 

Sam got really pissed because he knew he was cornered and he knew he was wrong. He moved toward me menacingly. I felt a presence behind me, backing me up, and turned to see Ace and Billy. The three of us may have been teenagers while he was a grown man, but we were so pissed we'd have beat the shit out of him.

 

I got right in his face, and yelled at him. “So I'm wondering if you're going to try and fuck every guy I bring home. Is that what's going to happen? I find a boyfriend, I bring him home, and you drag him off and fuck his brains out? Is that what you plan to do?” He said nothing. I backed away from him and spoke more calmly. “I'm not willing to put up with that. That's a bunch of shit. Do you think that's reasonable?” I asked coldly.

 

Before he could answer, I heard another voice behind me. “No it is not. It is totally unacceptable.” My mother had jumped into the fray. That had never happened. We all just stared at her, stunned. Her eyes were not on me, they were not on Sam, they were on JP. It was an amazing spectacle, a mother lion protecting her cubs. She was telling JP that she was not going to permit Sam to hurt her young.

 

“It was my fault,” said a soft voice in the back, Jake's voice. “I found him, he was vulnerable, and I came on to him.”

 

“You are a 16-year-old boy, and he is a man. That clearly delineates who is responsible,” said JP. I turned to look at him and saw a different man. A man who had his strength back. A man who was not going to be bullied any more. I moved my eyes to Sam and saw that he picked up on that too. Only his look was different. His was a look of fear and remorse. He'd gone too far, he'd pushed too far, and now he was going to pay the price.

 

I hadn't noticed Stefan talking on the phone until he hung it up. The plane started descending immediately. “It seems we have a slight mechanical problem. We're going to land near St. Louis and fix it. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

 

No one said a thing as the plane descended. You could have cut the tension with a knife. We all just sat in our seats, trying not to make eye contact with anyone else. I was uncomfortable because of the mood, and I was uncomfortable physically. I was wearing one of Ace’s shirts, and rather than put on dirty underwear, I’d decided to freeball it. Without underwear or a jock, and with just shorts on, it would be bad news if I got an erection. That thought almost made me giggle out loud, and helped me stabilize my mood.

 

It seemed to take forever for the plane to finally land and taxi to the terminal. As soon as the door opened JP got out, followed by Sam. We all looked at each other sheepishly as we stared out the windows at them arguing on the taxiway. Sam was pleading, yelling, and practically jumping up and down. In the end, JP just shook his head, climbed the stairs of the plane, and the pilot slammed the door almost in Sam's face.

 

JP sat down and seemed to stare off into space as the plane took off. It was still tense, with everyone waiting to see what JP would do, but nothing like it had been when Sam had been on the plane. Finally, JP broke the silence. “Jake, can you come up here?”

 

Jake looked terrified. I thought for a minute he was going to try and find a door and just jump out, but he moved up to the front reluctantly, willing to take his punishment.

 

“This is not about you Jake. This is about Sam and me, and the problems we've been having in our relationship. I don't want you to feel guilty about it. You had sex with my partner, though, and I think that gives me the right to ask you for a favor in return. A penance. Then we're even. Alright?”

 

Jake stared at him, wide-eyed and terrified. He managed to nod in assent. JP continued. “You are a very attractive, very sexy young man. You will not have any problems finding partners. You remind me, in fact, of someone else, someone I love very much.” His eyes moved off of Jake and settled on Stefan. The strength of their bond never ceased to amaze me. “But I want you to promise me that if you find a man who is committed to someone else that you will leave him alone. Breaking up a couple is something that will cause you, and them, nothing but pain.”

 

“I'm really sorry,” Jake said. JP held up his hand, indicating that's not what he wanted. Jake gulped. “I promise I'll keep my hands off married men, so to speak,” he said with a smile. That lightened the mood.

 

Jake recognized that JP was finished talking to him, so he moved back to the seat next to me. “I'm sorry Brad. I was just so jealous of Robbie. You seemed so into him, and no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to get your attention, it didn't work. I guess I just wanted someone to appreciate me.”

 

“And you were horny,” I said, trying to crack a joke and end this depressing mood. It was marginally successful. So his flirting and sluttiness were supposed to be his way of getting my attention? I decided not to fight that battle right now. “Look Jake, we were lovers first, then practically boyfriends. Why don't we try being friends?”

 

“Friends with benefits?” he asked in a slutty way. I heard Stefan giggle in front of me. Jake really was a lot like him.

 

I moved my mouth to his ear. “As soon as we get home I'm going to rip all your clothes off and fuck you till you can't walk,” I whispered. He giggled. It seemed like it took no time after that for us to land, and it seemed to take even less time for us to get back to Escorial, and still less time for me to fulfill my promise to Jake.

 

July 6, 1980

 

Last night we'd all kind of retreated into our own corners. I'd spent about four hours fucking Jake until I was drained, and that's saying something for a 17-year-old guy. Then I took him home. No big deal. It seems that somehow, through this shit, we'd developed a guideline for our future. Friends with benefits. I liked that. After that, I'd spent the rest of the evening painting, venting my emotions over Sam and Jake.

 

Sam was tougher. I had been pissed at him yesterday, ready to write him off, but now that the anger had faded a bit, I began to reconsider. He'd always been there for me, been another parent as I'd grown up. It was only this past year or so that he'd become an asshole, and even then, he wasn't a jerk to me, he was only a jerk to my Dad. Now I'd broken them up; a couple for 12 years, and I'd destroyed their relationship. I felt horrible. I wandered around the house looking for JP. I found him, not surprisingly, in his study.

 

He looked up when I entered and smiled at me. I didn’t let that smile fool me. I knew him so well. That smile could be genuine, or it could be assumed. It wasn’t until he walked over and gave me a big hug that I knew it was for real. “You don't hate me? I ruined your relationship with Sam.”

 

“Of course I don't hate you, and you didn't ruin my relationship with Sam. That has been in trouble for a long time; I was just too blind to see it. You opened my eyes.”

 

“He treated you like shit. I should have said something before, but when I caught him and Jake...” He stopped me, like he was concerned I’d say something about their encounter. That had bothered him a lot more than he let on.

 

“If you would have said something it probably wouldn't have mattered. Self-deception is a powerful thing.” He sat down on his couch and motioned for me to join him. “I am very proud of you.”

 

“You're proud of me?” I asked in disbelief.

 

“Yes. You watch out for people, you watch out for your family. And if one of them is in danger, you fight like a panther for them.”

 

“Kind of like you do,” I said to him, smiling now.

 

“We all have our roles to play. I've been the protector, the one who looks out for the others. Stefan has been the biggest challenge there.” We both laughed at that. “You have shown me how responsible you are, and that your destiny in life is to watch out for those you love. And now I know I can trust you to do that. If something happens to me...” He raised his hand to stop my objections, “you'll be there to take care of the others.”

 

“I'm not sure that sounds like a very fun job,” I said jokingly.

 

“It isn't, but it has its own rewards.”

 

I was really enjoying our conversation, but suddenly Sam stormed in like a wind blasting through the room. He looked at me coldy. “Would you mind excusing us for a bit?” he said acidly.

 

“Bradley and I are having a conversation. You are the one intruding.” JP said that with a calm firmness that told me he wanted me to stay. I picked up on that and relaxed back into the couch with the same calm veneer that JP had.

 

“Fine.” Sam said, irritated. “Well I just came to get my things. I'm moving out.”

 

JP walked calmly over to his phone and picked it up. He had this ability to speak into the receiver so no one in the room could hear him. He hung up the phone calmly, then turned to face Sam. “They're being taken out front to your car.”

 

“So that's it? Twelve years and you just toss me out?”

 

“You are the one moving out Sam, but to be honest, if you wouldn't have volunteered to leave, I would have asked you to. I think we were over after about ten and a half years. You've made the last year and a half a living hell for both of us.”

 

“I've made it a living hell? You had nothing to do with it?” He was getting hysterical. It was incredibly interesting to be a fly on the wall, as it were.

 

JP seemed to digest his words. “I'm not saying I'm innocent, but ever since you knew you weren't getting tenure you've been taking it out on me.”

 

He glowered at JP. “There’s a good reason for that. It's your fault that I didn't get tenure. You voted against me. And you did it so they'd make you the new department chair. You sacrificed me for your own career. I've taken a back seat to you for years. I'm not doing that anymore.”

 

“You're right, I did vote to deny you tenure,” JP said. Sam stared at him, shocked. Apparently he'd only been guessing at that; he didn't know it was a fact. “You don't fit in at Stanford. It's just that simple.”

 

“Oh, I get it. I'm too stupid to be part of your overblown team.” He was about to go off on a rant when JP stopped him.

 

“You are one of the smartest men I've ever met. Even when I don't like you, I love your brain.” That shocked Sam. “Your work, your research is very genuine, it's very intellectual, it just isn't very cerebral.”

 

This time it was Sam’s turn to stop and think. “Why didn't you tell me that?” Sam demanded. I could see the chasm in their relationship now; according to Sam, everything that was wrong in Sam's life was JP's fault. And some of what was wrong was, indeed, his fault.

 

“You haven't been listening to me Sam. I've been trying to tell you this, but you get so violent, so cruel.” There was a pause. “You need to move on, to a new job, and a new lover. We have destroyed what there was between us.”

 

Sam looked up at him and tears streamed down his face, and for the first time in a long time, I felt sorry for him. I looked to JP, expecting him to cave like I would have, but he didn't. Sam was begging him for another chance, and JP was saying no, and it was happening without any words at all. Sam moved toward him and they embraced, and then kissed. Sam channeled all of his angst into sex, and began rubbing against JP, thrusting against him, and JP turned into a sexual being, responding in kind. It was an incredibly touching and erotic moment.

 

“Sam, you know I can't resist you,” JP said breathlessly as he broke their kiss. “We can go to the bedroom and fuck like rabbits, and you'll satisfy me like no one has or probably ever will. But we'll still be over as a couple.”

 

They’d forgotten I was in the room, and I wanted to remind them that I was before they decided to fuck right there in front of me. There was a pregnant pause and I decided that it was time for a little levity. “Do I get to sit in on that too?”

 

They looked at me as if they were surprised by my presence, then they both laughed. Sam walked over to me and gave me a big hug. He was still hard from his embrace with JP, and I felt him against me. I couldn't control my own reaction. Was it totally queer to pop wood when hugging your stepfather? “I'm sorry Brad. I’m sorry for fucking Jake and for the things I said to you on the plane.” I just nodded. I wasn’t ready to give him absolution, but I did appreciate his apology.

 

Sam seemed calm again, like the Sam I’d known as a kid. He turned to face JP. “I know I lost you, but I don’t want to lose our family. Even if we're not a couple, we need to stay connected.”

 

JP smiled at him, a knowing, slightly condescending smile. “We won't. Go get yourself settled. It will give us both some time to cool down and reflect on things. Then after that, we can work on being friends.”

 

Sam nodded, and then grinned. “OK, but I still want that goodbye fuck.” He turned to me. “And no, you're not invited.” With that, they vanished into the bedroom to unite their bodies and end their romance. It was a bittersweet moment.

 

July 7, 1980

 

“Come on, B, it'll be fun. Let's go! Ace will come too. He loves Black Sabbath.” Lark was doing this whiny, pleading thing with me that always worked. He wanted me to go to the “Day on the Green” concert with him and he wanted me to get the tickets. Well, actually it would be more accurate to say that he wanted me to get Stefan to get the tickets.

 

“Yeah, but he's not a huge Journey fan,” I countered. That was an understatement. “Besides, we just missed the best one, the one over July 4^th: Sammy Hagar, Blue Oyster Cult, Triumph, and those pussies, REO Speedwagon.”

 

He ramped up his whining. “It will be fun. Come on, go with me.” I watched as he got a twinkle in his eye and changed strategies. “If you do I'll let you blow me.” I started cracking up, rolling on the floor.

 

“Fine,” I said. I knew I was going when he first brought it up, I was just making him work for it. “I'll try and talk Ace and Billy into going too.”

 

“Billy? He never hangs with us,” Lark said.

 

“He does now,” I said firmly, too firmly.

 

“Don't get pissed, B. I like Billy. He's a cool guy.”

 

“He's been going through some serious shit lately. He told me he's feeling kind of lonely.”

 

Lark looked frustrated. “Fucking freshmen. They act like they're still in fucking middle school. Cary Chase, that Frosh running back, is way jealous of him. Probably causing him some problems.”

 

I was stunned. I didn't know this was all due to Gunn politics. I felt my anger surge. Well, we ran Gunn, we were seniors now, and this Cary Chase asshole was going to learn firsthand not to mess with my brother. “Well then, we'll need to cause him some problems right back.”

 

“I'm not getting involved in underclassman bullshit,” Lark said arrogantly.

 

“You will if you want me to get us kick-ass tickets for Day on the Green.” He rolled his eyes at me. I got up and headed to the phone, wiggling my ass at him like a slut and making him laugh.

 

Alice, Stefan’s housekeeper, answered the phone on the second ring. “Brad! How nice to hear from you. Let me get your uncle.” It only took a minute for the other line to pick up.

 

“What a great surprise sweetie. We've only been home a few days and I already miss you!” He was so effusive, just hearing his voice was enough to make me smile.

 

“Hey Stef! I miss you too. But I have a business proposition for you.” I could hear him pause on the other end and I saw Lark looking at me wonderingly. I was in a mischievous mood.

 

“Oh? A business proposition?”

 

“Lark wants me to ask you to pull in some favors and get us tickets for the Day on the Green concert here in Oakland on the 27^th. He says if you do he'll let you blow him.”

 

The look on Lark's face was priceless. I was laughing so hard, and so was Stefan, that I could barely talk. Finally Lark got his shit back together. “It's a deal if they're really good tickets, and if he lets us come down to Malibu for a week after that.”

 

Stefan heard him. “Tell Lark that they will be the very best tickets ever. Now give me the info on this concert.” I gave him the details.

 

I changed my tone, and got serious. “Stef, I think you should come up and visit.”

 

“Why, when you are going to be here at the end of the month? I just got home.” He was whining at me too. What was with these guys and whining?

 

“Sam moved out yesterday. Dad is handling it really well, at least on the outside, but you know how he is.”

 

Stefan got quiet for a moment. “I will be there tonight. Pick me up at the airport? Say around 7pm?”

 

“Absolutely. Do you want me to have Lark here so he can pay up?” Lark’s eyes bulged at that.

 

He laughed again. “No, I will collect later. By the way, how many tickets do you need?”

 

I looked at Lark. “How many tickets do we need?”

 

“Well, there's you, me, Ace and Billy. That makes four,” he said.

 

I paused for a second as an idea germinated in my brain. “Stef, I need five tickets, OK?”

 

“You got it sweetie. And do not forget me at the airport.”

 

“How could I ever forget you?” I teased.

 

I hung up the phone. “How come you asked for five? You planning to bring a date?” Lark asked.

 

“Well, kind of.” He looked at me strangely.

 

“Jake? I don't see him at a Black Sabbath concert.”

 

I laughed at that. “No, me neither. Besides we're just friends.” He raised his eyebrow. “It's a long story. I'll tell you later. Right now I need to make another phone call.”

 

“Go ahead,” he said playfully.

 

“Can I have some privacy?” I demanded more than asked.

 

“No,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.

 

I rolled my eyes and pulled out the piece of paper that I'd gotten in Claremont and dialed the number. It rang several times before a woman answered. It must be his mother. “Is Robbie there?” I asked.

 

“Robbie? Who's Robbie?” Lark asked and I motioned for him to shut the fuck up. He compromised by laughing and giggling instead.

 

A minute later a very out-of-breath Robbie picked up the phone. “Hello,” he said, sounding irritated.

 

“Hey Robbie, it's Brad; you know, from California.” I was stammering and nervous, and Lark was rolling on my bed laughing at me. He'd pay for that.

 

“Hey Brad from California,” Robbie chirped back with a remarkably pleasant change in his voice. He was happy to hear from me! Lark watched my expression and giggled even more.

 

“I, uh, hope you don't mind me calling,” I said nervously. God, this was worse than asking a girl to the prom.

 

“No, it's good to hear from you. I had a great time on the 4^th.” His voice was so masculine and relaxed, it instantly took away all of my nervousness.

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

“So why did you call? I mean, you're welcome to call and just talk, but I was wondering if there was some reason.” I smiled. He was as nervous as I was.

 

“Nope. Just called to say hi.” I teased.

 

“Oh, well, hi,” he said back. I started laughing.

 

“I'm just kidding,” I said, finally relaxing. “I got a question for you? You like Journey, Cheap Trick, Black Sabbath, and Molly Hatchet?”

 

“Fuck yeah,” he said.

 

“Good. I want you to go see them with me on July 27^th.” I cringed after I said that, thinking how it sounded like I was asking him out on a date.

 

“Wow! That sounds great!” It was so cool that he was all excited to go with me, but then his enthusiasm faded. “Wait a minute, where is it?”

 

“Here in California. You'll have to fly out.”

 

“Um, I'm not sure if I can afford it. And I have to check with my dad.”

 

“Alright,” I said. That made sense. “Stef is getting us kick-ass tickets though, and afterward we're going down to LA to visit for a few days. I thought you could come along. Maybe plan to stay for a week or two?”

 

He was really quiet. “That sounds amazing Brad. I really want to go. Just let me make sure I can afford it, and that my parents will let me, OK?”

 

“Sure. I'll call you back around 8, your time, OK?” I asked, pushing the envelope.

 

“That should work,” he said, and we hung up.

 

“So who's Robbie?” Lark asked.

 

“I'll tell you in a bit. I have to go track down my dad first.” I left him hanging there, in my room. He'd pay for his obnoxiousness by staying in the dark for a little bit longer. As for me, I wasn't leaving anything to chance.

 

JP was in his study, as usual. I peeked in and looked at him. He was working, but there was an air of sadness about him that broke my heart. I walked in and went straight over to him and gave him a hug.

 

“Well what can I do for you Bradley?” he asked.

 

“What makes you think I want something?” I teased.

 

“Do you?”

 

I caved. “Well, actually...” that made him chuckle. “I invited Robbie Hayes out to visit, to go to the Day on the Green Concert with us on July 27^th. I'm going to get him a plane ticket and all, but I'm worried that his parents won't let him. Can you talk to Mr. Hayes for me?”

 

“You figure we're intimate enough that I can convince him?” he asked me playfully. I was really surprised that he joked about that, but I went with it.

 

“Rumor has it,” I shot back. “Besides, I wanted to take him to LA for a few days and watch him try to surf.”

 

“I'm wondering how big your crush on him is?” JP asked.

 

My turn to blush. “Pretty big,” I admitted.

 

He smiled. “I'll give Frank a call. Will you excuse me?”

 

I was grinning from ear to ear as I left. I spent the afternoon with Lark, filling him in on my whole trip. It was really nice to have a friend like him that I could pretty much tell everything to.

 

The day seemed to crawl by after that. I sat in my room, watching the clock as it got closer and closer to 5:00. My clock radio said it was 4:55. 4:56. Should I call at 4:59 so it rang at 5:00? Or should I wait until 5:00 to start the call? I thought about that long enough so it was now 4:58. Finally, the number on the digital clock flipped and it was 5:00. I hurriedly dialed the phone.

 

“Hello,” Robbie's voice said. He answered it on the first ring. He must have been waiting by the phone for me to call.

 

“Hey,” I said. “So can you go?”

 

“Yeah. It was amazing. My dad just said it was fine, and that was that. I didn’t even have to beg.” That made me laugh.

 

“Awesome! I'll book a flight for you and send you the info, OK?”

 

“That sounds great.” He paused, and got a little nervous. “I'm looking forward to seeing you.”

 

“Yeah, me too,” I said, and hung up the phone. He said he was looking forward to seeing me! Not ‘us’, me. I was bouncing on cloud nine as I headed down to grab something to eat.