Jacob Finding His Way - 1. Chapter 1

Hello! I’ll start off by introducing myself. My name is Jacob, and I am about to start my freshman year in high school, down far west in Texas. I am your typical Hispanic. I guess; I stand right at 6 feet tall with black hair, brown eyes, a runner’s build, but I never ran a day in my life. I’m kind of a loner and I really have no group of friends to talk about, and I just moved to a different side of town again. Just like any high school in the good old USA, there are the clicks, the popular groups as they put it. There’s the jocks of the football team, basket ball team, and field, then there’s the rich kids, although there’s not too many of those on this side of town; the rockers, and so on.

You might as well know this from the beginning; I am gay. No one knows that fact about me yet. I don’t date girls nor do I act gay. My voice is very heavy and I pass for the straight guy very well. Here in Texas, more so in the Bible-belt, you don’t tell anyone that you’re gay, if you want to keep healthy and stay alive. You hope no one catches on, and you ‘get out of Dodge’ as they say, after high school.

I know I will be a closet case till the day that I die. My family isn't religious; just the opposite. My mother always told us, as we were growing up, she was pushed into religion so much, she went the other direction. So, she won’t push it on us, but we have also been told, you don’t date out of your race, nor do you have sex before marriage, and it was just understood there’s no way you can be gay. The ‘gay’ part hasn't been said directly, but it’s pretty much known and understood that we must date and marry the opposite sex and have children.

I live with just my mother, who works on the army base. I have two older brothers, and a younger sister.

My eldest brother Jeremy doesn't live with us. He was born mentally retarded. He was with us for several years until he wandered away one too many times. The State of Wyoming, where we lived when I was very young, stepped in and placed Jeremy in a State School where he now lives and seems to be doing well and he seems happy.

My nearest older brother, Andy tries to test the limits of the house, and gets caught every time. Since I am younger, I try to learn from his mistakes, and not make the same mistakes myself. Andy is rebellious. I’m not, by nature. I don’t know if I’d ever stand up to mom for any reason. In Latino tradition, that is just not done.

Marie, my younger sister is a sweet kid. She adores me to the point she can be a real pain in the butt at times, but I love her anyway.

You’d probably wonder about my dad if I didn't say something, so I’ll just say this much; he treated my mom badly and I’m damn glad he’s not around. He also physically abused Jeremy when mom wasn't home one time. That was the beginning of the end of their marriage. Enough said, I think. There’s no sense in digging up the past; let sleeping dogs lie. Since he’s out of the picture and has been for so long, he’s really not a factor in my life anyway.

Just so you have a frame of reference, it is the fall of 1989 as I begin my first year of high school. I don’t mind telling you that I am a little scared. We moved once again, and now we live in the central part of town. That means I start my high school years without my friends from middle school. I wasn't too happy about that. We live close enough to the high school that I have to walk to school. I have seen the school from the freeway, but never up close. When I arrived at the school, it kind of freaked me out. It looks like an old church that was converted into a high school. It’s in a ‘V’ shape, and right in the middle stands a bell tower. I wonder if the bell is still up there, and if it works. Its only stands three floors high, but it’s a very long building.

So, I head on in, find the cafeteria. It is very gloomy and kind of spooky as well. I got in line for breakfast. My family qualified for the free breakfast and lunch program. The food is edible, so I can’t complain. I go and sit down, and eat my breakfast not disturbing anyone. I am just looking around focusing discretely on the hot guys that walk by me, or sit with their groups of friends or girlfriends. I have it really bad for cute white boys with blue eyes, blonde hair; that are not built, but not skinny. It’s hard to find that here. This part of Texas is dominated by Hispanics.

I finish up my breakfast, tossing out the remains on my tray and put the tray up on the counter with the rest, when the bell rings for first period. I am so turned around I don’t know where I am going. My first period is P.E., and I have no idea where the field is located. As I make it to the middle of the building, I shoot out the double doors across from the doors where I came in at. I land in a quad, and keep going. I look at my watch and I know I have to run so I don’t get there late for first period. As I start to run, not looking where I’m going, I run right into someone, I fly backwards right onto my butt. Kind of stunned, I shake it off and look up. Standing over me is this guy; he is Hispanic, maybe about 5’4’, brown eyes, brown hair, light skin. He reaches out his hand and helps me up. I dust myself off, mumbling,

“Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going” I say apologetically.

“No problem, no hurt, no foul” he says casually as he picks up his books. “Where were you going in such a hurry anyways?”

“I’m trying to get to the field for P.E., and I have no idea where it is!” I blurted out in frustration.

“No problem, I was heading there myself, follow me” he, whoever he is, said.

We walked down the path of the quad, and out the other end, as we were coming out the buildings, there were the bleachers.

“By the way my name is Chase” the hot dude says.

“My name is Jacob” I said with a smile, but nothing committal.

“Nice to meet you Jacob” he responded and we shook hands. “You’re not from around here, are you?” he continued working to spark a conversation.

“No, I went to elementary and middle school on the west side of town. My mother moved us here during the summer” I explained.

“That has to suck; I mean starting high school as one of the new kids!”

“Tell me about it. I’m not happy about it, but what can I say.”

“Stick with me, I help you out. Before class is over, show me your schedule, and I’ll try to help you get around this backwards school!” he says with a laugh.

We arrive at the field, in a nick of time. The final bell rings, and the coach starts to call roll call. He explains the rules and what he expects throughout the semester. It all sounds easy; basically show up to class, and you will pass. The coached excused us, and we head to the locker room to change. As we are heading there, Chase asks; “So what grade are you in?”

“I am a freshman, and you?” I replied.

“Same. Let me see your schedule and see if we have any other classes together.” Lucky for me, we have the same schedule, and same lunch hour. “Cool, we could hang, and I can keep you from getting lost around this school. It’s not a school you want to get lost in. Once you’re lost in here, you won’t be found!” Chase quipped.

“Thanks, I guess!” I laughed.

We finished changing. We got lockers right next to each other to throw our street clothes in, and headed out to the field again. The coach made us do warm ups, which means running the bleachers up and down. Boy did that put my stomach in a spin. We then were broken down into teams, and were being shown how to play tag football. I am not any good at it, like most other sports. I’m just not into playing any kind of sports at all.

Class ended, we headed in and changed back to our street clothes. Those that wanted to shower could. I took a quick one, leaving my swimming trunks on. I do like what I am seeing. I make sure it doesn’t seem that I am looking; a glance here, a glance there, but mostly, minding my own business.

The rest of the morning went fast, once third period bell rang, me and Chase headed down to the lunch room, and got in line. We grabbed our lunch, and headed out to the sitting area. Chase looked around and found his other friends sitting already. We walked over to the table where they were, and Chase took a seat, making room for me, and I sat down.

Chase introduced his friends, Sam, a nice looking guy, about 5’9”, black hair, brown eyes, a swimmers build, Thomas, same height, a little lighter hair, piercing hazel eyes, and a stocky build, Adrian around 5’8”, light brown hair, green eyes, and I really couldn’t see what kind of build he had; he was wearing very loose fitting clothes, and Juan, stood about 5’6”, black hair, brown eyes, very stocky.

As Chase went down the table introducing the guys, we shook hands. We all sat down and ate. Before we knew it, we were outside in the quad and the guys were comparing the girls, and who they would like to go out with. I didn’t say much. I just nodded in agreement, and didn’t say who I liked or wanted to date. The bell rang, ending lunch, and we all carried on to our fourth period class.

Nothing much happened the rest of the day. I was sitting in sixth period class, which was English, and man was it boring. Don’t know why, maybe because it was the last period class, or just I really didn’t like English class.

Finally the bell rings and I head to my locker, grab the books I need to do my homework, and headed out, starting my walk home. I heard someone calling me, but didn’t really pay much attention, I was thinking, and then Chase appeared on my side out of breath.

“What’s up dude, you didn’t hear me calling you?”

“No, sorry man, I was just thinking about, well really nothing at all, just thinking.”

“No problem, where do you live?”

“The apartments on Jackson Street.”

“Cool, I live on Hamilton Street, we can walk together.”

“Thanks man. You live in a house or apartment?”

“A house; I grew up here on this side of town so I know the ins and outs of the neighborhood” Chase informs me.

We were walking and talking about school, classes, and what we can do around here during the weekend. We reached his street. Chase headed down and yelled out. “Meet you here in the morning.”

“Cool, see you in the morning around 7:30!” I respond.

Chase waved in approval, and headed to his house. I continued to walk down until I hit my apartments, and headed in. I was the first one home, cool. I drop my bag in my room and head to the kitchen and started my chores.

Each of us has chores to do at the house, clean the kitchen, vacuum, straighten the bathroom, and last but not least, have dinner on the table for my mother when she gets home from work.

As I was cleaning the kitchen, I looked out the window, and I almost dropped the plates on the floor. There in the apartment building across the way stood, well let’s say, the most beautiful guy I have ever seen. He couldn’t be much older then me. He stands about 5’5”, light brown hair, almost blond, a very athletic body, a bubble butt to die for. From where I was standing and where he was, I couldn’t see his eyes. As I was standing there, I didn’t hear my sister come in until she was standing in the kitchen.

“What are you doing Jacob? What are you looking at?”

She was walking towards me and the kitchen window, “nothing, just thinking about what to cook!” I reply, a little embarrassed I was caught looking out the window, hoping my lie will stand.

“Hey that’s Joey out there. He goes to school with you, I think his in the same grade as you”

“How do you know, Marie?” I asked almost disbelieving her.

“His sister and I are friends, and I met him when I went down to pick up Fran for school” Marie said very matter of factly.

“I wonder why haven’t I seen her bother around? I mean, he didn’t walk to school; at least not the same route I went” I pondered aloud.

“No Jacob, he doesn’t walk to school. His mother drives him and picks him up.”

“Oh, that’s why. I wonder why that is?” I asked wanting to know all I can learn about that incredibly hot guy.

“The little I know is that something happened last summer before school started. He was out, at the high school, and someone beat him up real bad. He almost died. They really don’t talk about it. His parents are very protective about him now, they don’t let him really go anywhere without them being there.”

“Wow that’s scary. That explains it all” I said wrapping up the conversation.

At that point my sister headed off to her room, turned on her radio. Of course, “New Kids On The Block” was playing loud as she slammed the door. I yelled at her, “Marie, you better get your chores done before mom gets home. Neither you or I wants her to be mad.”

“I will have them done!” And she turned her music up even louder.

Man do I hate that music that loud I thought as I turned back to the window, and Joey was gone. Man, I really do want to meet this guy. I don’t know how, but I will figure it out.

The evening went quickly. Before I knew it, I was showering but it was taking some time. Thoughts of Joey got me distracted and at the same time very focused. I wasn’t focused on showering, but on a hard problem that had arisen. My eyes are closed and a soap-slicked right hand is doing what it does so very well almost on auto pilot. It took only a couple minutes to get me over the edge. With the thoughts of Joey in mind, I had a body and mind shattering orgasm that left me nearly too weak to stand. With my business taken care of and the shower too, I set about getting ready for school the next day. As I slid into bed, and tried to go to sleep, I kept imagining being with Joey, and I don’t even know the guy. He was pretty much all I could think about, even having just taken matters in hand. I think I have it bad.

The alarm clock sounded. I turned and looked at the clock, it was 6:00 am already. I feel more tired now than I did when I went to bed. Dragging myself out bed, I went out to the bathroom, and my sister was in there. “Marie, come on, hurry, I need to use the bathroom!”

“Jacob, I will be out when I am done. You just have to wait!” she replied in a snotty tone.

I was mad as I walked back into my room that I shared with my older brother Andy. All I could do from peeing right there on floor is to cross my legs. I heard the bathroom door open, I ran to the bathroom, slamming the door. Took care of the morning piss, brushed my teeth, combed my hair, and went back to my room. I threw on a pair of levis, a t-shirt, white socks, and my shoes, then headed to the kitchen. I fixed a bowl of cereal, gulped it down and headed out.

As in was walking down the street that was between Jackson and Jefferson, I noticed

Joey getting into his parents’ car, at least I think it’s his parents’ car. Man this guy is so cute, wearing a pair of blue jeans, not tight, but snug in all the right places, his t-shirt tucked in, and a pair of high tops. As I was looking, Joey looked over, and I waved, and he waved back. I thought to myself, it’s a beginning.

I continued to walk to school and as I reached Hamilton street, Chase was waiting for me.

“Hey Jacob, how’s it going man?” Chase said in greeting.

“Cool man! How about you?”

“Can’t complain. You going to have breakfast this morning?”

“Yes!” As I was answering, I turned to look down Fort Blvd, and I saw Joey fly by. His mother was driving.

“What are you looking at Jacob?” He turned the direction I was looking at, and tapped me on the shoulder.

“Be careful who you befriend here, Jacob” Chase admonished.

“Oh? Why, what’s up with that kid?” Pretending I had no idea who he is or that something happened last summer.

“Yep, that’s Joey. He’s gay. A group of guys cornered him in the quad during the summer, and beat him so bad, he almost died” Chase related.

“Just because he is gay? What happened to those guys that beat him up?” I asked.

“Nothing really happened to those guys, they are seniors, and on the football team and they claim that Joey was hitting on them.”

“Do you know if he was?”

“From the little I know about Joey, he stays to himself, not making trouble for anyone. He really has no friends to speak of and to tell you the truth, you wouldn’t know that he is gay. He doesn’t act it at all so I don’t think he did what those guys claim he did. They just needed a reason to be jerks” Chase concluded.

“I wonder why then why everybody believed what they said about the poor guy. I know he lives in my apartments but that’s about all” I stated.

“Who knows! Just you live in the great state of Texas, and being gay here, isn’t a good thing to be. If you are thought to be gay, no proof needed, is enough to get your butt kicked. It’s guilty until proven innocent in this situation” Chase said

We arrived at the school, and headed to go and eat breakfast. I sat down with Chases’ friends, and just talked about random things. The bell rang for first period, so we all put our trays away and headed to class.

As the day before, we ran the bleachers as part of our warm ups. But this time, my breakfast came up on me, as I reached the bottom of the bleachers mid way through the drill.

“Hey Jacob, head to the nurse to get looked at!” the coach yelled at me.

“Ok coach”

I found the nurses office, and headed in. The young lady at the desk asked me why I was here, and I told her. Then she asked me to take a seat, and the nurse would be with me shortly.

I sat down, slumping down in the seat, and then I felt someone sit next to me in the next seat. I looked over, and couldn’t believe my eyes, it was the guy I dreamed about, sitting right next to me. Trying to keep my cool, I didn’t stare too much and then I closed my eyes again. My stomach was in knots, don’t know if is was because of earlier, or because Joey just sat by me, and I could feel him sitting there.

“Are you ok?”

I opened my eyes and looked over to him; “Yep, just my breakfast didn’t agree with me!”

“Oh I see, that explains why you’re so white in the face” the adorable hunk said.

“And running the bleachers after eating didn’t help matters at all” I said bleakly.

“So you have P.E. first period?”

“Yep, and that kind of sucks! Now I know I can’t eat breakfast before I head to class or I’ll have to eat breakfast a lot earlier!”; I kind of giggled being nervous.

“That would do it. I would have had P.E. first period but I got assigned here in the nurse’s office instead.”

“Oh, you don’t look hurt or sick or anything” I said half way interrogating my newly found interest.

“I am not, it’s just that something happened, and the principal thought it best for me to be here instead of P.E., safety and all.” Joey half explained.

I just looked, not wanting to give away that I knew some of the story of what happened to him. Then he interrupted my thoughts; “You live in same apartments where I live. I have seen you around, and your sister knows my sister.”

“Ya, I have seen you around the apartment complex; just not here at school” I stated.

“You wouldn’t have seen me here at school. Today is my first day of school. Again the principal thought it to be best for me to start a day later than the rest, to insure all was well.”

“Wow, something big must have happened for all these precautions to be taken.” I then realized I haven’t introduced myself yet. “By the way, my name is Jacob.” I extended my hand.

“My name is Joey.” He shook my hand.

That moment the nurse called me in, and I got up and went to the bed the nurse was pointing to. I explained to her what happened.

“It sounds like you just ate too much, and didn’t let your stomach relax before you ran. If you want, I can give you something for your upset stomach” the Nurse offered.

“No, that’s ok. I think I will be fine. Just need to let my stomach settle. I can just walk it off” I speculated.

“No, don’t walk. Go back to where you were sitting and wait for the bell to ring, then you can go to your next class” the Nurse all but ordered.

I headed back to where I was sitting before, and Joey hadn’t moved since I got up. Man is he cute, and those jeans, as I said, snug all in the right places. He dresses kind of preppy, but it matches him. I sat down, and closed my eyes again, trying not to look at Joey, afraid that I would get caught.

As I was sitting there, I felt like someone was looking at me. I opened my eyes, and saw the girl sitting at the front desk just staring. When she realized I opened my eyes, she quickly looked back down to her books. I figured it was her homework from the day before. Then Joey leaned over.

“I think she likes you Jacob” Joey said with a smirk on his face.

I looked at Joey, and leaned over to his ear, where that girl couldn’t hear me, and man, did Joey smell good. I couldn’t believe how good he smelled. “Ya, but she isn’t my type” I said giving Joey a hint.

Joey just looked at me. “Well, if you don’t watch it, she will try everything to get you to go out with her. She has a rep for going out with all sorts of guys. Just a word to the wise, that’s all” Joey offered as a friendly gesture.

“Thanks man, I don’t need any trouble or rumors. I just want to keep to myself, that’s all”

I said.

“What’s your next period?” Joey inquired.

“Math” I replied.

“With who?” Joey continued to inquire.

“Ms. Pork-chop herself, Ms. Thomason” I said in my best smart-ass tone.

“Yeah, she looks like she has a pork chop stuck in her throat. It looks like she grabbed the entire thing, and swallowed it without chewing, and it got lodged in her throat!” Joey agreed.

We started laughing, the girl looked up at us, and just starred. We stopped laughing and stayed quiet for a few minutes.

“And you, what’s your next class?” I asked Joey.

“Same. I’ll walk with you to class if it’s ok with you?” Joey offered cautiously.

“Why wouldn’t it be? It’s cool with me” I said giving Joey all the green lights I could and still remain discreet.

Joey smiled, then the bell rang. We headed to class, just talking about random things. I haven’t laughed so much in awhile. We got to class, and took our seats. Chase looked at me as I sat down at my desk, and gave me a look like what’s wrong with you. I turned around to see where Joey was, and found that the teacher grabbed him, and put him in the front row, next to her desk.

The rest of the morning went by quickly. Man was I hungry when lunch rolled around, maybe because my breakfast was all over the bleachers. I got in line, grabbed my lunch, and headed to go and sit with Chase and the guys, when I noticed Joey just sitting at a table all by himself. Other students are walking by him, calling him fag, throwing food and paper at him. He didn’t even look up. What will power that takes.

I walked over to his table, and sat down opposite of him.

“I wouldn’t sit there if I was you if you don’t want to be an outcast like me.” Joey warned.

I looked at him squarely in the face, “I don’t give a damn what others think, I know who I am, and the little I know about you, you seem to be a cool guy!” I said in my own defense.

“Thanks Jacob! I was feeling like scum.” Joey said gratefully.

“Don’t worry, were friends aren’t we?” I offered.

Joey laughed, shook his head yes, and we started to eat. Then, to my surprise Chase and the guys come sit down at the same table. They looked at Joey and, at first, I was defensive, thinking to myself, better not hurt this guy, I am head over heels for him. Instead, they introduced themselves to Joey, and we just talked the lunch period away.

As the bell rang, and we all headed different directions, Joey walked next to me, and man was I on cloud number nine.

“Thanks Jake for all you did for me at lunch. It means a lot to me” Joey said emotionally.

I looked at Joey, and I could see tears in his eye, and my heart went out to him, feeling the hurt he was feeling. And, I think, joy as well.

“Not a problem, you’re my friend, I hope!” I said reassuringly.

Joey laughed, wiped his eyes saying; “You bet we are!”

The rest of the day went by real fast. I was happy, because it was Friday. I know that’s weird. School here doesn’t start on a Monday, it always start on the same day in August every year, except if that day falls on a weekend, then it starts on the Monday following.

I met up with Chase, and headed home. At first we were just talking about random stuff, then we got into the topic about Joey.

“Jacob, you know that was cool what you did for that kid Joey” Chase said supportively.

“I felt real bad for him, Chase. People were just being mean to him for no reason; just because they heard the rumors about him, and they really wanted to believe the rumors” I observed.

I am really falling for Joey, but Chase and the guys don’t need to know that.

“Still, you’re a cool guy. If you didn't go and sit with Joey, I know me and the guys would have never gone over and sat with him. It goes to show you, its better to be a leader then a follower. I feel kind of good of myself for sitting there with Joey, and talking to him not caring what others say or think!” Chase said with self satisfaction.

“Thanks Chase, he seems to be a real nice guy. You can tell how he’s being treated hurts like hell and all because of those stupid jocks. Who cares if he is gay, as long as he is cool and has our backs when needed. That’s all that matters!” I stated with strong conviction.

“You’re right Jacob, you’re right” Chase said indicating he had no doubts about the right way to deal with the whole issue.

At that point we got to his street, we shook hands, and he headed off home. He turned around waving, then he went up his driveway.

I got home before any one else, and headed to my room to throw my backpack down, then I headed to the kitchen window, hoping to see Joey, but no luck. I had to just be with my thoughts, and man, there were there many.

TO BE CONTINUED………….

WRITER'S CORNER:

Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my story. It’s the first time I have written a story, so I hope you liked it and keep reading the future installments. It is based on my life in high school, just the names were changed, but the location is pretty much the same. I know you were hoping for more sex in this chapter, there will be in the future chapters. However, this story is more about finding true love. Seeing as the story is based on reality, there just isn’t sex every hour on the hour. Keep reading the future chapters, and enjoy! Please email me and let me know how I am doing at jacobmillertex@aol.com, Your comments are welcomed, but flames will be ignored. Thanks! I have a home page for you to see what the characters look like or what the places look like. If you want to walk in their shoes, please go to: http://jacobmillertex.com/

EDITOR’S CORNER:

Hi Readers ! Hey, check back on this story. Seeing as I know what’s coming, let me tell you that if you like what you’ve read so far, it does nothing but get better. I’m pleased to help our esteemed author with this, his first attempt at writing. Your encouraging e-mails will fuel him to write a great story. Let him (us) hear from you !

‘Til next time !

“Daddy” Rick