The Orchestra - Sinfónia Lifsins - 12. Everything Ends

“Siggi, you missed some great fun last night!” The bastard greeted me by dropping next to me on the couch and throwing his legs on my lap. He had not bothered to get properly dressed yet, so his other head was peeking out from its ridiculously loose confinement.

“Actually, I have a very good sense of what you did last night. And so does Karen. And so does the whole street.” The chair on the other side of the room could do with a new occupant. Stupid dead weight on my legs.

“Ah, well.” That grin again. The bastard reeked of the kind of happiness that comes with causing extreme annoyance to someone else. “It’s nothing they haven’t heard before. Now…” He kneeled beside me so that he could use his hands to annoy me instead of just his legs. “It’s eight in the morning already, how about you and I help the neighbours wake up to face this beautiful day?”

“Get away from me.” He grabbed my hips instead.

“Why are you avoiding me? I thought you liked a good fuck to get rid of stress.” Said annoying hands slipped dangerously downwards even as he tried to use his ‘I-am-confused-please-enlighten-me-using-as-much-sexual-innuendo-as-possible’ tone.

“Not when you are reason for the stress. Get out.”

“Is this still because of Gunni?” The bastard leaned forward, whispering in my ear and toying with my ponytail. “You mad because we kissed?”

“I’m mad because you’re being more irresponsible than usual. You could get in trouble for it.”

“Aw, you’re worried about me!” The bastard bit my neck. Despite my willingness to send him flying across the room, my body decided it was a better idea to just moan and pull him closer. “I’m touched.” So was I, in the most literal sense. “But worry not, my great friend! I have it covered!”

“That’s exactly what the problem is.”

“Nah, Gunni liked it. I didn’t do anything he didn’t want to do.” The bastard pressed his hand against my cock.

“What about doing what I want?” Like leaving me alone.

“Are you sure you want to refuse a good fuck because my new crush is too cute for you to handle?” His hand pressed harder. The bastard should learn different persuasive methods.

“I don’t want to collaborate with paedophiles.”

“Ok, as you say. Just don’t come complaining to me when you are having a mental breakdown because your ass hasn’t been broken into for a week.” His hands left my body, but any sense of relief was spoiled by his obvious erection and by his annoying grin. “Though, on second thought… Feel free to come complaining to me at any time. Particularly when I’m busy having fun with Gísli. Threesomes are great for stress.”

“Fuck off.”

“With pleasure!” Stupid wink. “I’ll go back to bed. Gísli probably hasn’t gotten dressed yet.”

Dmitri skipped like a happy fairy all the way to the second floor. His plan to make sure the whole neighbourhood had an early start to the day began soon afterwards.

(...)

The replacement was at rehearsal. The bastard had not scared him away. His job was safe for the time being, but so was the replacement’s. At least if the kid had been traumatised we would have to look for a new leader. Or go for the obvious solution of having guest leaders until Arnar recovered. Gummi should have done that from that start.

This nightmare would not end anytime soon.

(...)

The bastard and Gísli disappeared upstairs the moment we got back home. Karen looked at me like a puppy that had been given extra treats and urged me to follow them.

“Go there yourself. You know Dmitri likes an audience.”

“But it would be a lot more fun if you were there too,” she winked, grabbing my arm to move me along. “They’ve been going at it for so long now I wouldn’t be surprised if one of them needed a break…”

“Then get your fake pink dick and be their substitute. I’m not in the mood.” Karen let go, though she still had that air of extreme annoying delight around her.

“I wonder if Gísli would let me fuck him… I know it’s useless to try anything with Dmitri, but maybe… maybe…”

“Just go and leave me alone.” Thankfully Karen did not need to be told twice. She was gone and I was finally alone, though the bangs and screams from upstairs were not something I wanted to hear. Even more so when Karen’s joined the party. The phone ringing in the kitchen ended up being a welcomed distraction.

“Hello, is this Siggi?” called a voice that was all too familiar and had been gone for far too long.

“Arnar! How are you?”

“Hey, Siggi, how are things?” The ISO’s real leader asked. The people upstairs could fuck themselves to death; I would not hear it anymore. Nothing else mattered. Arnar was back; I needed nothing more.

“How have you been? Is your hand better?” There was no reason to bother him with the downwards spiral the ISO had willingly put itself into. We had more important things to talk about.

“Well… the doctors did all they could. I’m now in physiotherapy.”

“For how long?” How much longer would I have to endure the replacement for? How long until I recovered my sanity?

“It’s hard to tell, but probably for the rest of my life.”

This was not what he was supposed to say. “What do you mean? That’s not true! You will recover from this!”

“Siggi…”

“We can’t go on without you! What is going to happen to us?” What will happen to me?

“You have an excellent new leader, you will be fine.” Arnar dared to speak like it was as simple as that. As if he was happy with everything. As if it was no big deal to be replaced by a little kid.

“No, we won’t. We were given a stupid brat who can’t say a word without blushing like a fucking tomato. He’s immature and he’s nowhere near ready to do your job. We’ll be fucked many times over if you don’t come back.” He had to come to his senses. Arnar was the only one who could get rid of the replacement. He could not give up that easily; let a kid take his place and not want to fight back.

“I think Gunni did a great job yesterday. I couldn’t see you in person, but from what I heard you played very well, maybe even better than before…”

“Don’t. Don’t say those things. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” The kitchen became a blur of confusing colours; something wet ran down my cheeks. There was pain in my chest and breathing became a superfluous task. I wanted to shout at Arnar for saying such stupid things. I wanted to go up to him and smack his face until he realised what he was saying.

All I managed was drowning my voice in that breathless mess my body had become and finish the sentence with trembling lips. Pathetic.

“What’s the matter, Siggi? Why are you so upset? Did Gunni do something to you?” ‘Upset’ did not begin to cut it. If I got started on what the matter really was Arnar would spend a whole month’s salary on his telephone bill.

“He’s the wrong person for the job. He’s nothing like you and will never be anything like you. You have to come back and take your rightful place.” Arnar should understand this. Even if all those bastards thought I was being ridiculous and should give up, Arnar would understand. The two of us together could still be able to save the ISO from its impending doom.

“I’m sorry, Siggi, I can’t do that.”

“This is not the time to tell jokes. You’re making me sick.” Something disgusting climbed up my throat and threatened to spill all over the blur of colours that should have been a table.

“I’m sorry, Siggi, but this isn’t a joke. My hand is completely useless now.” The room was spinning. Some stupid supernatural joker took away the floor and forgot to tell me. “Even with years of physiotherapy I will still have trouble doing the most basic things. There’s no way I can play violin again.”

“Never say never!”

“Siggi, please. Calm down. I know you are upset, but just because I’ve left the ISO it doesn’t mean I must leave your life too. It’s not the end. You are probably thinking the worst about everyone now, but this is not the way to go about things. You have to accept that things change and you have to learn to cope with them.”

“I can’t. Not with that kid around.”

“It will seem like it for as long as you are angry with the world. Sit back, relax, and try to see Gunni for who he really is. This is all the advice I can give you.”

“Then I refuse to take it. I can’t listen to anymore of this. Tell me you’re coming back or don’t bother talking at all.” Some kind of shaky scream left my mouth. It probably got mingled with whatever the other three were doing upstairs.

“Siggi, you are letting the anger take over. Calm down before something bad happens.”

“Like what? Me smashing my shoulder against the stupid TV? Has happened before and I survived alright.”

“No, I really mean it. Be careful with your anger or you will get hurt.”

“Ok, then. Maybe I should get hurt. Maybe I already am.”

I smashed the phone against the wall, but against the screams and bangs above my head the noise was negligible. It did not break; something else had already been broken in that room and I could not be bothered to pick up the pieces.

Nothing else mattered. Arnar was not coming back; I needed nothing more.

(...)

“Come to our bed. Now.”

“Oh, you came back early! Thought it would take at least a day…”

“Shut up and come. I don’t want to have to look at Karen’s breasts for any longer.” The woman in question beamed and jiggled her chest even more. Gísli moaned like he was having the best possible time of his life kneeling in front of her with her pink dick impersonator up his arse.

“Me neither. They are scary.” The bastard nodded, finally letting go of Gísli’s cock. His hand did not remain free of dick for very long, though. “I’m glad you decided to save me.”

“Yeah, because you absolutely hate handling people’s dicks all day long.” It would be a lot easier to look at Karen when she spoke if her breasts did not behave like water balloons every time she moved.

“Your pending dongs make it a lot harder to concentrate on it, you know.”

“Oh, please. You’re just jealous because I’m making Gísli have a great time. Isn’t it right, Gísli?” The ‘pending dongs’ wiggled widely. Their owner purposely increased the speed and frequency of her thrusts to make Gísli moan deeply enough to cause a mini earthquake and thus prove her point.

“You wish. My dick is bigger than all of yours; I can make him bring this house down with just his vocal chords.”

“Then why didn’t you do it last night?” It would be considerably easier to pay attention to their sexual bickering if the bouncy things attached to Karen’s chest stopped moving. Obviously it was unlikely to ever happen, as Gísli seemed happier the more they, and by extension Karen’s hips, moved. Not that it mattered anymore; I would not have to endure them for much longer.

“Because last night I felt like having his dick up my ass. I missed being bottom, you know?”

“Oh, I feel so sorry for you and your pitiful excuses…”

“Enough.” Dmitri did not need much convincing to follow me to our bedroom, though for some reason he felt it was necessary to blow a raspberry to Karen as part of his triumphal exit.

“What made you change your mind so fast?”

“It doesn’t matter. Just fuck the hell out of me until I can’t leave the bed.” Until it is too late to take me anywhere else.

“Ok, if you say so…” With his predatory grin in place, it did not take long for the bastard to get rid of my clothes. “Hey, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to ride your cock.”

“Yeah, I can see that, but you’re not putting on any lube.”

“So? It’s my ass. I do what I want to it.”

“No, don’t. You know you can’t…”

“Try stopping me.” It would never happen; not when I was already sitting on top of him.

“You’ll get hurt.”

“I already am. It won’t be worse than getting the wrong condoms.” Anything would be better than this.

“Speaking of which, we should get some too.”

“Not worth it.” No need to waste condoms now.

“Ok, you’re freaking me out. Stop this shit before I throw you out of the bed.”

“I know you won’t.” Not when I had his dick in my hands. The bastard was trying hard not to moan already.

“Please, Siggi, don’t…”

“Not worth it.”

The sharp pain was a relief. His dick was definitely too big to be harmless. There would be blood and tearing and he would never stop me. He would never dare do anything when his cock was being ridden with such haste. The pain was overwhelming. Blood leaked on him and the bed sheets. Not long now. Pleasure and shock pinned the bastard to the bed. He came inside me when I was just becoming lightheaded.

“I need more. Close your hand.”

“No! Are you mad? Look at the mess you already made! You can’t…”

“Do it. Do it or I’ll find something else to do it with.”

“Fine, but I’m taking you to the hospital when it’s over.”

“We’ll see about that.” When I said I wanted to be fucked until I could no longer leave the bed it was because I never planned to leave the bed. At least not inside this body.

I guided his fist inside, and with some coaching he moved it just the way I needed. Things were tearing and breaking; the physical manifestation of what I felt inside. It was a relief.

“Siggi, you have to stop this now. You’ll get hurt really badly if…”

“It’s not worth it. Shut up and keep punching.”

“What’s the matter? What happened when you were downstairs?”

“None of your business. Keep going or I’ll grab one of your vodka bottles.”

“This is going too far. I’ll get help, even if I have to tie you to the bed.”

His hand was not even out when still-naked Karen and Gísli barged into the room. The percussionist took one look at our bloody scene and ran to vomit in the toilet. His nausea provided a meaningful background noise for our confrontation.

“Arnar is on the phone, Siggi,” Karen said coldly. “He called my mobile when he realised you were going to do something stupid. I guess he was right.”

“Tell him to call an ambulance or something,” the bastard interrupted. He sounded like a hurt puppy, with all the broken cuteness included.

“I’m coming over now,” Arnar’s voice said through the speakerphone.

“Don’t bother, go straight to the mortuary.” I laughed; laughed like I had not done in years. It was going to end soon. I was free to do as I pleased. The world was spinning; its blurred colours were almost beautiful.

“Stop this silliness, Siggi. You don’t know what you are saying.”

“I do. I know very well.” There was no reason to listen to Arnar anymore. He was giving up, so why could I not? It was that simple, really.

“I will see you soon. Hang in there.”

I did not see Arnar, though. Darkness came first.