NaPoWriMo - 2017 - 26. April 26 : A Clock on the Wall

absolutely fabulous. big thumbs up.

I suppose the Sonnet is better than 'my first,' way back when. The images are all very nice: the beach, the ocean, the gray skies. But more importantly, the interaction of the two guys is well drawn out. 

You've been careful with the length of lines, but some of them have little grammatical foibles. The rhyme of the couplet is slightly undesirable, only because it's considered best form to not repeat the same word, or section of a word (Monday and day, in this case). I've posted a little thing on rhymes in my blog. I suppose I'll dig up the link and place it with the others in the Poetry Prompt thread. 

Thanks for posting these, and for carefully studying the Sonnet Poetry Prompt challenge, which I can tell you did - and did well  

mmm, yeah what AC said. Keep on with those prompts Emi.. practice makes perfect. I like the images in your sonnet. Nice job!

On 27/04/2017 at 1:53 AM, asamvav111 said:

absolutely fabulous. big thumbs up.

Thank you so much Sas. I was a blushing mess with the comments/compliments given. Thank you for reading and reviewing...

~Emi. 

On 27/04/2017 at 5:55 AM, AC Benus said:

I suppose the Sonnet is better than 'my first,' way back when. The images are all very nice: the beach, the ocean, the gray skies. But more importantly, the interaction of the two guys is well drawn out. 

 

You've been careful with the length of lines, but some of them have little grammatical foibles. The rhyme of the couplet is slightly undesirable, only because it's considered best form to not repeat the same word, or section of a word (Monday and day, in this case). I've posted a little thing on rhymes in my blog. I suppose I'll dig up the link and place it with the others in the Poetry Prompt thread. 

 

Thanks for posting these, and for carefully studying the Sonnet Poetry Prompt challenge, which I can tell you did - and did well  

I'll definitely take a look at the blog about rhyming and all. I am glad you felt like it was better than your first Sonnet. That was very honoured comment for me. Thanks for giving the expected detailed review and for your suggestions to improve my knowledge and skills. Glad I got you as my teacher. Thanks for everything Ben...

~Emi. 

On 27/04/2017 at 6:00 AM, Mikiesboy said:

mmm, yeah what AC said. Keep on with those prompts Emi.. practice makes perfect. I like the images in your sonnet. Nice job!

I'll definitely take your advice on that. And thanks for reading my poems and letting me know what you think of them. I am glad you enjoyed my poetry. 

~Emi.