Ian's Heart - 19. Chapter 19 - Ian

I opened the front door to an older version of Oliver, Sasha’s brother, “Hi, you must be Quinn?”

“Yes, I’ve come to pick up Sasha,” he said nervously.

“Come in,” I moved out of the doorway so he could enter, and he came in and stood behind me. I shut the door and put my hand out, “I’m Patrick’s Dad, Ian.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Quinn said shaking my hand.

“The kids are in the living room, come on through,” I led the way to the living room. We walked down the hallway, “Sasha tells me you’re in college to become a teacher?” I asked over my shoulder.

“Yeah, English teacher,” he said laughing, “I don’t know whether I’m nuts or a glutton for punishment.”

“Hey! Dorkface,” Sasha called out before running to her brother and hugging him. Quinn wrapped his arms around his sister and kissed the top of her head.

“Missed you horse head,” he said affectionately to Sasha as he pulled out of the hug.

“I didn’t miss you so much, Mom and Dad let me have your room,” Sasha giggled.

Quinn chortled, “I know, I’m bunking in with the boys.”

“Sucks to be you,” she laughed and went to gather her things.

“Hi Pat, how are you? It’s nice to see you again.”

“You too Quinn, how long are you back for?” Pat asked as he walked over and greeted Quinn with a fist bump.

“Um… Two weeks, I have my practical teaching unit, starting tomorrow.” Quinn announced.

“Really?” I asked surprisingly, “If you feel uncomfortable being amongst the teachers that used to be your teachers, come find me, we can have our breaks together.”

“That would be great, thanks, Ian. It’s going to be weird going back, but not as a student. Even just this afternoon doing the orientation was weird, my old teachers still spoke to me like I was a student. It was bizarre, to say the least,” He laughed, “I’m really nervous, I remember how we used to be to the student teachers.”

“You’ll do fine,” I smiled reassuringly, tapping his shoulder as Sasha returned to the living room.

“Come on then girly-girl, Mom’s got dinner almost done. If we’re late, she’ll make us eat it cold.”

“Okay,” Sasha agreed, she hugged Pat goodnight and gave him a quick kiss. She then sashayed her way over to me giving me a hug. “Night Uncle Ian, good luck tonight.”

“Thanks, Sha, goodnight sweetheart.”

“Thanks again Ian, I’ll look for you tomorrow,” Quinn said shaking my hand, “Goodnight.”

After Quinn and Sasha left, Pat and I got a start on dinner.

Pat took a large pot out of the refrigerator, “I thought we’d have something different, I found a simple recipe online for shepherds pie. I cooked the meat off yesterday, and I already boiled potatoes earlier and mashed them. If you want to get the veggies started, by the time this is in the oven and cooked it will all be ready at the same time. I’m even going to make a beef gravy to go with it.”

“Okay?” I asked quizzically, and giving him a questioning look, but smiling.

Pat laughed, “I’ve been looking at English recipes, just be thankful it’s not toad in the hole.”

“What is that?” Sounds disgusting. “I thought it was the French who ate frogs?” I asked as I put the broccoli and beans on to steam. I turned and observed as Paddy put the shepherd's pie together like a pro. He put it in the oven then started on the gravy.

“It’s not what it sounds like,” Pat snickered, “it’s beef sausages cooked in something called batter pudding. It’s basically sausages inside soft biscuits. Something like that anyway, a lady put the recipe online as a meal to make for a big family on a budget. It was a meal her Grandmother made during the depression, and she continued to make it after her Grandmother passed. I thought we’d give it a go tomorrow,” Pat shrugged his shoulder.

“What brought all of this on?”

“It is an assignment for my food sciences class, I thought if we actually taste it, it might give me a better idea of how to write my assignment,” Pat looked at me sideways as he stirred the gravy, “that’s okay isn’t it.”

“Of course it is, you do what you need to do for school. It all sounds nice, like comfort food to me,” I squeezed Pat's shoulder, “Adams here.”

I moved out of the kitchen and headed toward the front door just as Adam let himself in with his key. After turning around, he stopped and stared at me. His mouth hitched to one side in a smile, his dimple on full display. God, he’s gorgeous. He shuffled nervously down the hallway until he reached me. Smiling I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him to me and kissed him stupid.

He pulled back a little breathless, “I’ve missed this so much,” he said putting his arms around me and hugging me. “Is Pat okay that I’m here?”

I nodded my head, “I spoke with him last night after he came home. He’s excited to see you,” I kissed Adam, it was nice. Everything felt right again, him being here for dinner, kissing him because I could.

“Holy crap! Are you two going to be doing that all night, or do you think you could help me get dinner ready,” Pat, rolled his eyes, as he cleared the dinner table smiling broadly, “one of you could at least set the table, I’m not an octopus you know.”

“I guess we’ve been told,” I chuckled to Adam.

“Hmm, it would seem so,” Adam grinned as we moved toward the kitchen, “what are we having?” he took a deep breath, breathing in the aroma that was wafting through the apartment, “it smells good.”

Pat looked up from the gravy to see Adam, and his whole face lit up, “Shepherd’s Pie,” he said proudly. Adam smiled at Pat and tapped his shoulder with his fist gently.

Adam set the table while I helped Paddy get the everything ready to plate once it was ready. We busied around in the kitchen and chatted about Pat’s assignment. He loves cooking and could talk about it passionately for hours. Yet with his art, he’s very private and almost never talks about it. I only catch glimpses when he’s working on something at the table or on the couch in the living room. It’s his escape from everything, I think everyone is entitled to their own place to unwind, de-stress, and a safe place to escape, so I never say anything about his art until he invites me to.

During the dinner, there was a comfortable silence settled around the table as we tucked into Paddy’s meal. Lot’s of smiles passed between the three of us. After finishing off my last mouthful of my second helping, I rubbed my stomach, it was so good I ate way past my quota of acceptable gluttony. I let out a burp

“Sorry, excuse me, I ate way too much! It was so good Pat, we’ll have to add that to our normal dinners,” another little burp escaped, “Sorry.”

“Maybe… it would probably be better during winter for something warm. I think I’ll try it with pumpkin mash next time and see what that’s like,” Paddy scraped his plate for the last mouthful with his fork.

“Is there any more? This is freakin' awesome,” Adam stood with his empty plate heading for the kitchen.

“There should be unless Dad pilfered it all,” Paddy called out as he pushed his empty plate away while he stared at it.

“You want to lick the plate don’t you?” I eyed Pat then laughed.

“A little bit,” he answered shyly his face gave away a small blush.

“It’s not fancy, but you were right it is comfort food. I think I know how I’ll get started on my assignment though. I’m going to hunt around and research more about meals that were served by families during the depression and how they managed.”

“That sounds like the right direction Pat, will you let me read it before you hand it in,” Pat frowned at me, “I’m not questioning your ability to write the assignment, I’m just curious about the subject is all.”

“Oh, sure, yeah. Thanks, Dad.”

“God, this is good,” Adam said with a mouthful, and eating from the plate as he walked back to the table. Pat and I bust out laughing at him, Adam ate guarding his plate like we’d steal it from him.

“Anyone would think you haven’t eaten in weeks,” Pat said, then realized what he’d implied and hung his head quietly. Poor Pat, I leaned across and squeezed his shoulder.

“I’ve missed your cooking, that’s for sure. My God, this is so good Pat,” Adam smiled warmly at Pat. Paddy lifted his head and nodded without a smile. “Hey Buddy, cheer up, you are allowed to talk about the last couple of months it’s not taboo, we are going to talk about it. It affected you, probably as much it did us.”

“I’m okay,” Pat mumbled.

“Paddy, don’t just sweep it under the rug. You need to say what you are feeling, or what you want. This is about you too. None of this was handled very well by your Dad or me,” Adam winked at me, “and you’ve no idea how sorry I am about that Pat.”

Paddy looked down at his lap, his hands clasped together, “I understand.”

I saw a tear drip from Pat's eye to his lap, I wanted to die. We’ve really hurt him. I knew he’d been holding it in, but he wouldn’t talk about it. His shoulders started to shake, Adam dropped his fork, and it clanged on the plate. He jumped out of his chair and come around to stand next to Pat. Adam put his hand on Pat’s shoulder, as his face contorted in pain. I felt sick, I dropped from my chair to my knees next to Paddy, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and head, then pulled him to my chest. He tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let him I just held on to him tighter. Eventually, his resolve gave way, and he clung to me sobbing, I sat and rocked back and forth gently with him in my arms.

“I’m so sorry,” I just whispered it over and over again. It’s killing me that I’ve hurt my son. My eyes started weeping. Adam shuffled to stand behind us, his one hand not leaving Pat's shoulder, the other on the top of my head. His love giving me the strength I needed not to fall completely apart. Tucking Paddy’s head under my chin I looked up at Adam, he was watching Pat and me with watery eyes, he swept my hair back and mouthed “I love you.” It’s incredible that that one little gesture flowed through my entire body.

Pat slowly pulled away from me and lifted his head so he could see Adam, “You’re staying now, right? You’re not going to leave again?” he asked with a quivering chin.

Adam smiled warmly, “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m so sorry we’ve hurt you, Pat, we were so caught up in our own problems that we didn’t see how you were hurting too. This whole thing has been mishandled with you caught in the middle, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. You and your Dad mean the world to me.”

“Good,” Pat mumbled shyly, “I like it when you’re here. You belong with us,” Pat wiped his eyes, “We’re supposed to be a family. You, me and Dad.”

“Yes we are Pat, it’s something I want. As long as it’s what you want too?” Adam asked warily.

Adam squatted down, so he was eye level with Pat and me. His hand moved to the back of my neck, and his thumb rubbed back and forth soothingly.

Pat looked at Adam, “I… It’s what I hoped for since… and then Anna ruined everything,” Pat wiped his still moist eyes. He looked at me, then back at Adam. “What’s going to happen when the baby is born? You aren’t gonna let Anna keep the baby, are you? We are going to get the baby, right? You can’t let her have him, I don’t want the baby to end up like me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you Pat,” Adam stated fondly.

“No, I mean, he won’t be loved. We can make room for the baby here. I’ll even help look after him,” Pat pleaded to Adam. He blew out a frustrated breath, “If you leave him with Anna, he’ll eventually end up in and out of foster care, a group home or even worse. I hated it. Hiding everything I owned, moving from place to place. Some places I had to sleep with my shoes on in case I had to leave in a hurry. My bag was always packed. Adam, please, we have to get the baby. I don’t trust Anna she won’t look after him, and she won’t keep him safe. We will. He belongs with us, just like you.”

“Why don’t we sit in the living room and get comfortable to have this conversation. I’m too old to be sitting on my knees,” I chortled, Adam, helped me off of the floor. “The dishes can wait a few minutes. They’re not going anywhere.”

Pat claimed his usual spot on the couch and sat with his legs to his chest. Adam sat at the other end of the sectional sofa closest to Pat, and I sunk down leaning into him.

“You okay Pat?” Adam asked Paddy.

“I think so, I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” Adam kissed the side of my head. “Look, Pat, I know this is all happening fast. But I meant what I said, like you, I want us to be a family. Your Dad, you, me and the baby, the four of us together in one place. I have, no, we have no intention of leaving the baby with Anna, your Dad and I are going to figure something out. Unfortunately, it might not be as easy as we’d like it to be. This has to be done right, we fight her now, legally, so we don’t have to fight later. We can’t leave her any wiggle room to disrupt our family or the baby later. You understand right?”

Pat nodded his head to confirm.

“Are you really okay with the baby coming to live with us, it’s a big adjustment. We’ll probably have to move,” that thought just dawned on me, Adam put his arm around me pulling me in tight, “it’s going to be a tight fit in this apartment for three of us let alone adding a baby?”

“I don’t care, Dad, we are a family, and we can’t leave the baby with Anna, he can sleep with me in my room,” Paddy wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees.

“We are going to fight like hell for custody, but with Anna, it's going to get ugly. I’m only telling you so you can prepare yourself,” Adam and I watched for Pat’s reaction.

“Um… is it going to upset Grandma and Grandpa?” Pat asked nervously.

I shook my head, “No,” I answered adamantly, “I think they’d be more upset if we didn’t.”

“Oh okay, then I don’t care what we have to do, I’ll do whatever you need me to do. I don’t want that poor baby having to go through the things I did. That’s all that would happen if he stays with Anna.”

Paddy fidgeted around getting more comfortable, but his face still bore the worry of the situation as he saw it.

“What’s bothering you, Pat?” Adam asked.

“I um… well… I'm still scared that Grandma and Grandpa will be upset.”

“They want what’s best for the baby. Give me and your Dad time to hash out what we plan to do, then you can call and talk to your Grandparents about it,” Adam answered honestly and squeezed my shoulder, I nodded along with his answer so Pat could see that we were in agreement.

“That’s fair I guess.” Paddy went quiet again as he played with the fabric of the couch. “So if you're staying what am I supposed to call you?”

“Call me whatever you want, and make sure you call me whenever you're cooking,” Adam chuckled.

Pat scoffed, “Only after Dad and I eat first. Otherwise, we’d never get any.”

“Seriously Pat, call me whatever you're comfortable with. Adam’s fine, whatever.”

“How ‘bout Detective?” Pat grinned.

“Mr. Detective, Sir, to you,” Adam quipped.

“Lucky you're not a ‘Private Detective’ I could call you Di…”

“Patrick!” I reprimanded him quickly, chuckling in spite of myself. I saw Adam roll his eyes to Pat, so I dug my elbow into his ribs, “You two don’t get to gang up on me now either,” I pointed between them.

“Yes Dad,” they said in unison. Then Adam leaned over to fist bump with Paddy.

“I hate you both,” I chuckled getting up from the couch to sort out the dinner dishes. I left Adam and Pat to have a chat in private. I felt they needed it.

As I was drying the last pot to put away Pat came into the kitchen, “I love you Dad,” he said his eyes red and puffy. I put the pot down and gathered him into a hug.

“I love you too. Everything okay between you and Adam?” I asked into his shoulder, the bugger has grown another few inches and is my height now.

“More than,” Paddy squeezed me tight quickly and let me go, “I’m going to have a shower and go to bed, I’m tired.”

“Me too, you sure you’re okay with Adam moving in?” I studied his face.

“Yes Dad, I promise. Best of all, eventually I’ll have a little brother,” Pat grinned.

“Or a sister,” I reminded him.

“Hmm… she’s not gonna like me very much,” Paddy quipped.

“Why not?”

“No boys till she’s thirty,” Pat laughed as he left the kitchen. “Or girls if the case may be,” he called back. I shook my head, he’s the funniest kid. I faintly heard him say “Goodnight Papi.” I smiled, and my heart soared, as I put the pot away, then threw the dishcloth in the laundry. I finally curled up next to Adam on the couch, all tucked into him. It was taking everything I had not to ask what he and Paddy spoke about. So I told him what Paddy said if he was having a girl. He corrected me by saying, “if we have a girl.”

Adam yawned, “I’m wiped, I should probably get going?”

I frowned at him, “I wasn’t joking when I said you were moving in here, I don’t want you to go home. It wasn’t a sooner or later statement. Please stay, we can work out the logistics later.”

“Are you sure Babe? It’s a big deal.”

“It’s a bigger deal if you go home.”

Adam stood and put his hand out to me, “Let’s go to bed.”

Thanks for reading. Huge thank you to Rick, for the time and effort he put's in, to Rob for helping me and putting up with my constant huffs and puffs of frustration, and Glenn for testing the waters before I post. Without you guys, I'd be no where.