Aria Graice - 12. Chapter 12

As soon as she’d gone, Drew fired up the state-of-the-art computer that sat innocently on the desk in the corner. Its sleek silver casing and custom-made, curved monitor belied what a monster it was under the hood. One thing that had surprised Drew most about the boys was how technologically gifted they both were. It angered Drew that such obvious talents in maths and computing were going to waste because the boys had never been given the opportunity to advance them through proper schooling. He was trying to persuade them to approach an university to see if they would take them on their skills rather than their qualifications, but they point-blank refused. Apparently, Julianna had done a good job of convincing both boys they would not be able to survive in the world of academia.

In any event, the boys might not have had formal schooling in technology but they certainly knew their stuff and had the tech to support their skills. This set-up alone had probably cost more than Drew’s house, and God knows how much Aria had spent on his professional equipment.

Drew was used to finger-tapping time while his trusty old lap top booted up, but this lady was fast, almost instantaneous.

First, Drew searched for information about the party, just to see if there might be more out there than he’d thought, but although the internet was buzzing with supposition there was nothing to suggest that anyone might know the details.

Next, he went to the website of the church that had been hounding the boys. Not that it was a church in all but the loosest sense, but they had appointed themselves as moral judges of a whole generation, or at least those they could get publicity out of. As suspected, there were photographs of the boys, either taken off the internet or at a distance and plenty of threats of eternal damnation but nothing concrete and nothing that might link it to the letters.

A search of the boys’ names and anything else he could think of connected with them threw up a whole load of crazy, but nothing that might link to the letters. All of the letters had been disturbing, but this was the first that had contained such intimate and concerting photographs, or so much graphic detail. He had to take this seriously, but he was no detective and was no wiser when the turned off the computer than he had been before.

Ah well, it was up to the police to track down the lunatic. His job was to make sure he didn’t come anywhere near the boys.

Before he could do much more, steps heralded movement above and Amara appeared, dressed in nothing but sleep pants, his hair tousled and stuck to his cheek. He unstuck, and finger combed as he walked.

“Aria cried – a lot,” he said by way of explanation.

Drew nodded. “Is he sleeping now?”

Amara nodded and sighed. “Sometimes I really hate her,” he said, moving toward the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”

Drew checked his watch and was surprised to find it was going on for one o’clock. He’d spent much longer at the computer than he’d thought.

“I’ll make you something if you like,” he said and followed Amara into the kitchen. Amara grabbed a coffee and sat at the kitchen table watching while Drew gathered cheese, milk, butter, flour, mustard, bread and Worcestershire sauce.

“What are you making?”

“Welsh rarebit. It’s something my mother used to make when we were feeling out of sorts. Real comfort food.”

“Welsh rabbit? Where’s the rabbit? We don’t have rabbit.”

Drew chuckled. “Don’t worry, no rabbits. It’s fancy cheese on toast.”

“Then why not just say that?”

“Because we Welsh have to take what fame we can where we can.”

Amara nodded seriously. “I’ve never known anyone who was Welsh before. What’s it like.”

Drew turned, to see if Amara was teasing, but he seemed quite serious. “The same as being English only with more singing and less money.”

“Oh.” Amara nodded and gazed into his coffee as if it was going to reveal the secrets of the universe to him.

“I was teasing, you know,” he said.

“Oh.”

Drew smiled and went back to work on lunch. “Do you think Aria will want some?”

“No. I don’t want to wake him. Can you put some aside?”

“Sure, the mix will keep for a couple of days in the fridge.”

“I’m worried about Aria,” Amara said out of the blue.

“Oh? Why?”

“He’s been stressed for a while. It’s partly Mother, partly the whole sex thing.” He paused. “Okay, pretty much all Mother. He’s been kind of unravelling and it scares me.”

“What do you mean by unravelling?”

“He can’t sleep. He spends most of the night in the dance studio. He doesn’t really go out anymore. He used to love parties. We’d go, then sit up all night talking about them. That was before the sex started. It ruined everything. He was happy before. Well…as happy as she lets him.”

“Are you sure she’d have a problem with Aria being asexual? Is he sure that he is?”

Drew turned and leaned against the counter, his gaze steady on Amara. Amara sighed and hunched over the table. “You think it’s true, don’t you? That we fool around with each other. Even after I said we don’t. It’s not true, I swear. Aria… He wanted to try once. We were about fourteen. Everyone was talking about sex and I was full of it – about how great at it I was going to be.” He huffed and shot a glance at Drew, before returning his gaze to the table. “Aria was terrified. He hadn’t even started jerking off. He doesn’t like touching himself even to pee. It’s not that he doesn’t want a penis, I mean he doesn’t want to be a girl. He likes being a boy – except when he’s trying to please Mother. He wanted to try it out with someone he feels safe with. I wasn’t happy, but I agreed. It didn’t go well. He completely freaked out and had a panic attack. Not as bad as today but bad enough to scare me. It was a long time before he tried again – not with me.

“We were at a party and he was determined he wanted to kiss someone. I asked him who he was attracted to and he said no one. We chose a guy because I thought he was hot and set it up. I did the flirting and warming up and Aria switched in for a kiss.”

“Didn’t anyone notice?”

Amara gave a slow grin. “We’d set it up. When we dress the same no one, not even Mother can tell us apart. Father can, but he wasn’t there.”

“Can I take it that it didn’t go well?”

Amara snorted. “I thought Aria was going to die of a heart attack. He had another panic attack. We had to hide out in a cupboard until he calmed down. He begged me not to make him kiss anyone again. It was after that we figured out the switching thing, so no one would ever know.”

“Did you…switch back on that night?”

“Of course I did. Gave the guy the best night of his life. He deserved it for being gentle with Aria. He worried because he ran off and was just so nice. It’s a shame, because if Aria had been up to it I think the guy would have been a great boyfriend for him.”

“Has he tried since then?”

“Do you think it’s a phase? Something he’ll grow out of? That one day he’ll wake up and fancy a shag? He doesn’t even masturbate for pleasure, only for relief. He won’t kiss anyone on the lips and he’s uncomfortable with cheeks. He doesn’t like being in the same room as other people our age because he’s terrified someone will make a move, or even flirt with him. I promise you, one hundred percent, my brother is definitely asexual.”

“It’s okay. I told you that. I’m not judging you. You don’t have to defend or justify yourself, or him. It’s okay to be asexual. There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s not a freak.”

“Tell that to Mother. No, don’t. It’s ironic really, isn’t it?” He frowned, twisting the coffee mug. “She didn’t bat an eyelid when she found out we…I was gay. She doesn’t even care how much I sleep around, as long as it’s with the right people. Yet when Aria told her he doesn’t have sex at all, she had a fit.”

“Maybe she just didn’t understand. Maybe if you explained how badly it’s affecting him...”

“You don’t know her. We kind of tried to bring up the subject once and it did not go well. She thinks asexuals are either liars, posers who are trying to bring attention to themselves, or sick. Or making excuses because they’re not attractive enough to find someone. I mean, anyone who does not like the sex has to be crazy, non, mon cherie?”

“A very progressive attitude,” Drew said dryly as he turned back to put the toast under the grill, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a grin at Amara’s uncanny impression of his mother.

“Mother? Progressive. I think not.”

“What about your father?”

Amara shrugged. “I don’t think he’d have a problem. He’s not as… He mixes with a different kind of people. Real people. Even though he’s famous and he’s got a lot of A list friends, he’s got other friends who are not actors, and even the ones who are, are not so…up themselves. It’s weird really, because father comes from money. Real, old money. My grandfather had a title, but father refused to take it. I’m glad because I wouldn’t want it. Only one can have it, you see. The oldest. So, Aria couldn’t. I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t have accepted it, so I’m glad Father did it for me. But anyway, he grew up surrounded by aristocrats, even royalty. He went to Eton and Oxford and he’s the one who should have been privileged and conceited. Mother came from a farm. It’s a nice farm, and her family aren’t poor, but nothing like Father. Yet she’s a terrible snob, and he…isn’t.”

Amara sniffed appreciatively at the glorious smell that was coming from the grill. “It was Father who set up the project where Aria and I work. He said it wouldn’t do us any harm to do some honest work, and seeing other people our age who didn’t have our opportunities would teach us humility.”

“Has it?”

Amara scoffed. “Not really. It’s hard to be humble when you’re a superstar, but I try. Aria is. Humble, I mean. He doesn’t take a damn thing for granted. He’s the best person I know.”

Drew plated the food and placed one in front of Amara who immediately tucked in. Drew sat and started in more sedately, laughing as Amara struggled with the hot cheese.

“Steady on, you’re going to burn out the lining of your mouth. That cheese is hot.”

“Mmm I know.” Amara grinned at him.

Drew dropped his gaze to his plate for a while and they ate in silence.

“Can you think of anyone who’s got a grudge against you, or Aria? Someone who might want to hurt you?”

Amara’s head came up and he narrowed his eyes. “Why?” he snapped.

“There’s been another letter. I would rather not have told you but there are things I need to discuss, and the police are going to want to talk to you.”

Amara sank back with a sigh of relief and every instinct Drew had screamed at him. “You thought it was something else. Do you know something you’re not telling me? Is there someone out to hurt you? Or Aria?”

Amara shook his head, but it was just a little too quickly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Amara snapped. “Do you think I’d be so stupid I wouldn’t tell you if I knew someone was trying to hurt us. It’s your job after all.”

“To hell with my job. It’s your safety. I can’t protect you if I don’t know what I need to protect you from.”

“You don’t protect me,” he said bitterly. “You protect Aria.”

“Officially, but do you honestly think I would let someone hurt you if there was something I could do about it?”

Amara stared at him for a moment, emotions chasing themselves across his face. Then he dropped his gaze and continued to eat, leaving Drew feeling there was a whole lot more inside that pretty head than he was letting out. A niggling worry picked at his mind and he almost asked about it over and over, trying to find a way of putting it that wouldn’t scare Amara off. In the end, he didn’t say anything.

“Are you going back up?” Drew asked when they’d finished eating. “Do you want to take snacks, or I can ask Emma if you want something fancy, or more substantial?”

“No, I’ll stay down here and watch some films. Maybe they’ll cheer me up. Aria’ll be in the studio by now.”

“Do you think so? After all that? Wouldn’t he still be asleep?”

“Aria would be in front of that camera if he had to hold his leg on with Sellotape until it was done. He has alarms set.”

“He does take it very seriously, doesn’t he?”

Amara gave Drew a strange, calculating look. “It’s his job, his life – like my music is to me.”

Drew paused to think about it. When he’d first joined the army, it had been a job. By the time he left it had been his life. He’d never once thought there was a comparison with what the boys did. He’d entirely dismissed Amara’s music, and even more, Aria’s videos. It hit him that these boys weren’t playing around.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Amara looked surprised. “For what?”

“For thinking you less than you are.”

The surprised look remained, then he laughed. “Oh, I doubt that. In Aria’s case maybe, but not me. I can assure you I am most definitely less than you think.”

“Why do you say that?”

Amara shrugged. “Because it’s true?”

He spoke as if his words meant nothing, but his eyes told a different story.

“Why would you say that about yourself? I mean, look at you.”

“What, particularly am I looking at? The slutty part, who’ll sleep with anything with a pulse? The arrogant little shit part who gets under people’s skin? The pathetic loser part who let himself be bullied into—” He pulled himself up and sniffed. “Sorry.”

“What were you about to say?”

“Huh?”

“You were saying something about being bullied. Is someone bullying you? Is someone threatening you?”

Amara chewed on his lip for a moment. Just for a flash, Drew thought he was going to say something, but the moment passed fast. Amara shook his head. “Darling, in the music industry everyone’s a bully and the singer in the middle of it is the least important part of the show.”

Drew sighed. “You know you can talk to me, right? If something’s bothering you. You can always come to me. I know I’m Aria’s guard, but I said I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you, and I mean it.”

Amara stared at him for a moment, his eyes blank and a frown between his brows. It suddenly struck Drew how absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful he was. Even now, in this setting, with bad lighting and no make up, dressed in lounge pants and a ratty t-shirt, Amara Graice was stunning…and seventeen, Drew reminded himself as his chest fluttered. Only for another week another, treacherous part of his brain whispered back. Drew launched into his food, concentrating hard on every mouthful.

Silence stretched and became uncomfortable, although Amara seemed confused, as if he genuinely had no idea what just happened. Drew cursed himself, but he couldn’t for the life of him think of anything to say. His brain had completely checked out.

The silence was broken by a loud beep, then another. Amara jumped as his phone started pinging crazily. “What the hell? This is my private phone. Who…?”

He stared at the screen for a moment, then leaped up and raced for the stairs. “Jesus Christ,” he yelled.

Drew, never a man to be caught off guard by emergencies, ran after him. At the top of the stairs, Amara paused then started pacing while his phone continued to ping. “What shall I do? What shall I do?” he moaned, then leaned against the wall and bent over, hugging himself as if in pain.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s Aria,” he said. “He’s posted a video about being asexual. The internet’s blown up. Even my friends are going crazy.”

“Shit. Is he alright?”

“How the hell should I know,” Amara yelled. “Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean… I haven’t seen the video, but it seems pretty bad from what they’re saying. I should go to him, but if he’s recording…”

“Surely this won’t count. He said he could be disturbed in an emergency and don’t you think this fits the bill?”

“I…guess.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take it out of your hands and I’ll take the heat if it gets hot.” He smiled at Amara and squeezed his shoulder, ignoring how good it felt to be touching him even in that small way. He was going to give himself a good talking to later, but for now he had more important things on his mind.

He half expected the door to the studio to be locked, but it wasn’t, although the red light winked its warning. Ignoring it, Drew opened the door. At first, he didn’t see Aria, but when he went further in to the room, he found him sitting on the floor behind the desk, his knees drawn up, staring vacantly into the distance.

I just want to thank everyone who's commented on this story. I can't express how much it means to me to have my story, and particularly my characters talked about even when you hate them