Aria Graice - 28. Chapter 28

When Drew glanced down, Aria’s eyes were wide and bright, although still haunted, and a smile played on his lips. He jumped when Aria raised his hand to touch Drew’s face. It was cold and trembled. Drew covered it with his own and it seemed so small.

“Would you wear a dress for me?” Aria’s voice was rough and hoarse, just a whisper, but to Drew his words were as clear as if he’d shouted them, and more precious than the Crown jewels.

“I’d do anything for you.”

“Is it because you love me?”

Drew sniffed. “No, it’s because you’re an amazing human being, who I just happen to…love.” His own voice cracked, but he didn’t notice he was crying until Aria shook off his hand and wiped away his tears.

“I love you too. I mean… I love, love, love you.” He smiled, then frowned. “Why are you crying?”

Drew was so swamped by emotions, he could barely distinguish one from another, and his mind raced as thoughts and possibilities chased themselves around and around. “A hundred reasons.”

“Are they all happy?”

Happy? Were they? Relieved, for sure. Terrifying. Confusing. “Most of them.”

Aria nodded, apparently satisfied, then tucked his face into Drew’s shoulder and Drew cradled him, gazing into his face as he fell asleep.

Drew glanced up to find both Jay and his mother watching him, looking as if they were hardly daring to breathe.

“He’s asleep,” Drew said. For some reason, he found himself whispering.

“He spoke,” Jay said, also whispering.

A grin broke over Drew’s face and took over his entire body. “He spoke,” he parroted. “He said he love, love, loves me.”

“That’s a lot of love,” his mother said.

“That’s Aria,” Jay said, smiling fondly. “He never does anything by halves.”

“That’s true.”

Drew gazed at Aria. “Do you think I should take him upstairs? He’s exhausted, and I don’t want to disturb him, but I think they’ll want each other when they wake.”

“You’re right, but if you take him up you should stay with them. They’re going to need you, too, and you all need to talk.”

“I know, but now’s not the time for that.”

“Now’s exactly the time for that.” Jay frowned at him, their delicately arched brows drawing together. “You don’t have to make a big song and dance out of it, but you have to get things clear from the very start. It doesn’t have to be complicated, but it could become complicated if you let any misunderstandings or assumptions creep in. Have the talk.”

Drew stared at Jay and shook his head. “How old did you say you were?”

“I didn’t and I won’t.”

“I’ll guess at about fifty then.”

Jay grinned. “Close. You’re only off by about thirty years. Now go. You need to turn yourself into a little pile of kittens and purr yourselves to sleep. I’ll be here when you get up. Oh, here.” They got up and trotted over to the sofa, fishing for something in their pocket. They tucked a small bottle into the blanket. “They’re Amara’s painkillers. I picked them up. He wouldn’t take them, but I think if you wake him he’ll do it now, then you can all get some proper sleep and maybe you’ll look better when you come down.”

“Thanks,” Drew said wryly, his lips twisting into a lopsided smile.

“I told you when I got here that you look like shit and you haven’t improved at all. You’re not a pretty weeper.”

“A what?”

“A pretty weeper. You know… Most of us get blotchy and swollen when we cry, but pretty weepers still look good when they’ve been sobbing for half the night. Aria and Amara are like that. Some people think it’s because they’re false, but that’s not true. I’ve spent the evening watching weepies with them and I need to trowel on the slap before I can step out the door, but they look like they could be on a photo shoot for Vogue. Look at him.” Jay leaned over to gaze into Aria’s face. “He’s been through some shit but he’s still so adorable I could eat him. Figuratively,” they hastened to add. “He’s not my type.” Straightening, they let their fingers trail down Drew’s arm. “I like my men more”—they licked their lips—“macho.”

Jay sashayed away, swinging their hips while Drew remained frozen, struggling to process.

Jay flopped down into the chair and grinned at Drew. “Oh, for goodness sake, I was teasing.” They winked at Drew’s mother, who had the audacity to wink back.

Drew struggled on for a moment, then gave up and laughed, shaking his head. “You’ll be the death of me—all of you.”

“Ah, we all have to die sometime and at least you’ll go with a smile on your face.”

Aria stirred when Drew stood, and opened his eyes. He looked confused and frightened. “It’s alright.” Drew smiled as gently as he could. “We’re going up to lie with Amara.”

Aria immediately relaxed, a dreamy smile replacing the frown, and Drew’s heart fluttered in his chest.

When he got to the bedroom, Drew gently laid Aria next to his brother. He was a little worried that Aria might panic if he woke, tangled in the blanket, so he unwrapped him, careful to catch the pill bottle. He retrieved the spare duvet from the top of the wardrobe and tucked it carefully around Aria making sure it didn’t restrict him. He then slipped into the bathroom for a glass of water.

Neither twin had moved before he got back, and he sat on the bed on Amara’s free side. He read the label on the bottle and shook out two pills. Then he set them on the bedside table, next to the glass of water, and gently woke Amara. He came awake suddenly and sat up, falling back with a groan of pain. Aria stirred and snuggled closer, throwing his arm across Amara’s waist. Amara froze.

“Did he…” Amara whispered, then swallowed, paused and took a breath. His voice was a little stronger this time. “Did he acknowledge me? Does he… Does he know me now?”

“Course I know you,” Aria slurred, then snuggled even closer and sighed into sleep again.

Amara remained frozen, his face twisted and tears sliding down his cheeks. Drew sat on the bed, kicked off his shoes and carefully slid in next to Amara, then took the shaking boy into his arms. Amara fisted Drew’s shirt, and Drew felt the material dampening, but Amara never made a sound, nor did he sob. Drew was impressed by his control. He knew it had nothing to do with pain and everything to do with his sleeping twin. He embraced Amara carefully and tried to will calm and peace to him while stroking his hair. Drew couldn’t help but glory in the wonder of it, even though he felt guilty at profiting from Amara’s grief.

“Is it over?” Amara asked eventually, without lifting his head.

“I don’t know about over. I think Aria’s going to need a lot of help for a long time, but it’s better. He’s better.”

“He spoke to you? Properly?”

“Yes.”

Amara lifted his head and gazed into Drew’s eyes. Drew wished he hadn’t when he asked, “What did he say?”

“Um…”

“Drew? What did he say?”

Amara sat up straighter, causing Aria to moan, although it was in an annoyed way rather than a pained one. Drew wanted to hold on to him, to stop him but was afraid he’d hurt him.

“What did he say? Was it really that bad? Why won’t you tell me? I can take it, I promise. He’s not upset with me, is he? Have I done something wrong?”

“Mara,” Aria groaned. “Stay still. I told him I love him. Please kiss him, then let us go to sleep. But you’re not allowed to have sex when I’m in bed with you.

Drew froze, as did Amara. They gazed at each other with horrified expressions, then Amara’s lips twitched and he was unable to stop a smile breaking over his face. For a moment, Drew continued to feel sick and horrified, but them then the humour of the situation reached him, and he laughed.

“Will we have to draw up a schedule?” Amara asked, barely able to speak from pain and laughter. There was slightly hysterical edge, but Drew wasn’t about to stop him.

“Maybe I can cut myself in half.”

“Can I have the top half?” Aria asked.

Tears stung Drew’s eyes. Especially when Aria sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked exhausted; they both did, but he was smiling.

“Oh God, Aria. I thought… I thought…” Unable to say another word, Amara threw his arms around Aria, and despite squeaking with pain, pulled him closer and held him tightly. Aria held him back, but clearly didn’t realise the pain he was causing. Drew saw it immediately and much as he hated to separate the twins, he was pretty sure Amara wouldn’t be able to stand the rough treatment for long.

“Aria,” Drew said firmly as he gently loosened Aria’s grip on his brother. “I know you’re still not feeling well and that you both want to cuddle, and he’ll never tell you himself, but you’re hurting Amara. He’s injured his ribs and is in a lot of pain, even though he’s too stubborn to acknowledge it most of the time.”

“What?” Aria sprang away from Amara as if his skin burned. “What do you mean? Mara, are you hurt? How? What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything, silly,” Amara said, drawing Aria into a gentler, more careful hug. “I just hurt my ribs, that’s all. They’ll be fine.”

“But how? They didn’t get you. I saw…”

“Your crazy brother thought he could fight with the car and win. Unfortunately, he was wrong.”

Aria’s eyes widened and he pulled back to gaze at Amara. “You chased the car? You tried to stop it?”

“Of course I did,” Amara snapped. He scowled at Drew who shrugged. “They—” He bit his lip. Drew figured he was afraid to talk about what happened in case it triggered Aria to fall back again. “I wasn’t going to let them take you without a fight.”

“Couldn’t you find something softer than a car to fight with?” Aria’s smile faded. “You could have been killed. I could have been rescued and come home and been all alone. Please don’t ever do that again.”

“If you promise never to get kidnapped again, I’ll promise not to try to rescue you again.”

Aria scowled for a moment, then brightened. “We’ve got Drew to rescue us now—for ever and ever, so you won’t have to. You’re not going to leave us again, are you Drew? Not ever.”

Drew found himself subject of intense focus from two pair of sky-blue eyes in two pale but achingly beautiful faces and for a moment he panicked. Forever was a long time, after all, and it really wasn’t as easy as Jay tried to make it.

“I can’t promise forever, because I just don’t know. I promise I’ll do my best to work this out with you, and that’s the best I can do.”

Both twins frowned. “Work it out?”

“What do we need to work out?”

“We love you.”

“And you love us.”

“Both of us. Don’t forget that, Mara. He definitely loves both of us, he said so.”

“I know.”

“So what do we need to work out.”

“I think he means practical things.”

“Like who gets the most cuddles. I think that should be me because I don’t get the sex.”

“This is exactly what I’m talking about,” Drew said. “I’m not going to lie to you, and I’m not going to lead you on. I’m not convinced this is going to work out, not with both of you. I just can’t see how the practicalities can work.”

“Practicalities?” Amara frowned. “What has practicality got to do with anything? Love isn’t practical. It’s… It’s… Well, I don’t really know what it is. It just is, and practicalities don’t matter.”

“Yes they, do,” Aria said, sounding sad. “They mean a lot. I knew this was going to happen. I wish I’d stayed in the dark.”

He sank back and curled tightly against Amara who looked alarmed.

“What do you mean?”

For a while Aria refused to speak, but Amara worked his magic and coaxed him out. Aria sighed. “People. Real people… I mean, proper, normal people want to kiss their boyfriends and then…you know…stuff. Drew doesn’t know how to have a boyfriend who doesn’t do any of that. He doesn’t think it can be a real relationship without it. He’s right. I can’t have a real relationship with anyone, and I shouldn’t spoil it for you. Maybe I should go live somewhere else, on my own. I’ll get a cat. Lots of cats. I like cats.”

He sounded so sincere and so sad, Drew viciously battered down the bubble of amusement that threatened to make it into a laugh.

“Woah. Hold on there. First, don’t put words in my mouth. That’s not what I was saying at all. That’s definitely not what I was thinking. Of course it’s possible to have a relationship without sex. Millions of people all over the world do it every day. It’s not the sex that’s bothering me, well not just the sex. There are so many things to think about. Yes, the practicalities, do matter. How will we work things – who sleeps where, when and with whom? But it’s not just that. For one thing, we’re from different worlds. You can see that now, can’t you? I’m not part of your world and I don’t know if I ever can be. It’s alien to me. Okay, yeah, intimidating. You have fame and fortune and I have nothing to bring to the table.”

He paused struggling. Once again, the twins shocked him. After one of their twin looks they each held out a hand and took Drew’s.

“We understand,” Amara said. “It’s not fair of us to say there’s nothing to work out. It’s not fair to talk about forever, and it’s not fair to keep saying that we don’t need anything but love. We’re not stupid and we’re not children. To us, love is all that matters because we don’t have to make the adjustments. We know it won’t be easy for you in our world. There will be mean people who say things like you’re with us for our money, or that you’re taking advantage of our vulnerability. Hell, you know that most of the rumours will already have been started by our mother. I know it’s going to be hard for you, Drew. We both do. But I also know that you love us as much as we love you and I know that when we want something, really want it, we never give up on it. We’ll never give up on you.”

Drew stared, his mouth hanging open. He had no idea what to think, let alone say. While he was still staring at Amara, Aria slithered onto his lap and wound his arms around Drew’s neck. Before he had a chance to say or do anything, Aria pressed his lips gently against Drew’s and sighed.

Reflexively, Drew’s arm wrapped around Aria, and he fought not to pull him closer. He forced himself to simply relax and allow Aria to do what he wanted. Amara squeezed his other hand.

Aria moved his hands to either side of Drew’s face and held it gently while he continued to peck and explore. Drew almost jumped when his tongue delicately lapped at Drew’s lips. He allowed them to part but didn’t take any action himself. This was a defining moment for Aria, and he wasn’t going to spoil it by being selfish. He just hoped that Aria wasn’t pushing himself too hard to be something he thought Drew wanted him to be, because Drew could say, hand on heart, that if things never progressed beyond this moment with Aria, Drew was perfectly happy with what he had right then. To hold Aria, to smell his perfume and feel his tiny hands nervously toying with his hair, to receive the absolute trust, the golden sunshine of Aria’s faith in him encapsulated in that one kiss was more than he could have hoped for, and far more than he deserved.

By the time Aria pulled away he was trembling. He flashed a look of triumph at his brother. “I did it,” he said.

“Did you like it?”

Aria pondered. “Well, it’s not like it was last time. I’m not scared. I know Drew won’t hurt me and I don’t think he would be horribly angry if I never did it again.”

“Of course I won’t be angry. You have no idea how…how amazing…how grateful I am that you…”

Aria waved his words away. “I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me. I…” He frowned thoughtfully. “It didn’t make me tingle,” Mara. “None of those things you told me about. Nothing’s twitching and it doesn’t make me want to take my clothes off, or Drew’s clothes off, or to suck his— Well, it doesn’t make me…er….horny, but it is nice. I’d like to do it again.

So he did it again.

This time, Drew played a little, flicking out his tongue, teasing Aria’s lips and tongue. Aria squeaked once or twice but didn’t pull away. In fact, he grew more adventurous and little sounds of satisfaction and contentment slipped out. Aria had always been the more vocal of the two in everything they did.

Finally, Aria sat back and sighed, a dopey smile on his puffy lips.

“That was great,” he sighed. “I was wrong. I like kissing. I really like kissing.” Suddenly he started and his eyes widened. “You…you won’t try to make me do more, will you? Because…because I really did like it, and I want to do more. I want to do lots more, but it doesn’t make me want to have sex with you. It isn’t making me…”

“Ssh.” Drew laid a finger on Aria’s lips, silencing him. “I know how this works. Do you think I haven’t researched? Finding that you enjoy kissing is not the same as realizing you’re not asexual after all. I’m not going to draw any lines for you. Maybe one day you’ll want to try going further, maybe you never will, but I don’t care. This is so much more than I was expecting. To be honest, I don’t know how to process it right now.”

“Then don’t.” Amara sounded exhausted and Drew realised with a guilty shock that he’d forgotten about his pain. “Here, I brought you some painkillers. Take them and we can all settle down and get some sleep.”

“That would be nice,” Aria said.

Drew helped Amara take the pills then settled him back on the pillows as before. He surprised Drew by moving over so that when Drew slipped in next to him there was room for Aria to snuggle in to Drew’s other side.

“Don’t you want to lie next to Amara.”

“I might hurt him. Besides, I want to snuggle you today. Maybe it will be Mara’s turn tomorrow.”

Drew turned his head to catch Amara’s amused smile. “You’ll need to get used to this,” he said. “He has very particular ideas about where he’ll sleep and with whom. Me, I’m easy and I just go along with what he wants. It’s probably better if you get into that habit too. Otherwise he just looks at you like you kicked a puppy and then his lip trembles and it make you feel like you’ve kicked a puppy and before you know it, you’re doing exactly what he wants anyway and feeling terrible about yourself that you ever resisted in the first place.”

Drew snorted. “Sounds like the voice of experience.”

“Many experiences.” Amara yawned widely and nestled into Drew’s shoulder, making himself more comfortable. It seemed that Aria was already asleep although experience told Drew to be cautious about assuming that. He settled down and rested his cheek against Amara’s hair.

“It’s going to be alright now isn’t it, Drew?” Amara mumbled. “Aria’s going to be alright.”

“I’m going to be fine. Go to sleep.”

Drew felt rather than heard Amara chuckle and he smiled as he finally allowed himself to relax and fall asleep thinking that yes, he really did think it was going to be alright now.