Singer - 2. Family Issues

First, I applaud you for working to stretch your abilities. Personally I would be thrilled with one thousand word chapter posting everyday but that ain't gonna happen. Perhaps if you would stop writing such great stuff your readers wouldn't mind if the chapters were short. Again, ain't gonna happen. I recall times in the past when you gave us 5,000+ words and we still wanted more. Keep doing what you're doing. In the long run we'll be glad for it but still chirp like hungry birds. Now as to the actual chapter ... I am very curious to see this unfold from Chipper's perspective. We had bits of it earlier so have an idea where this is headed but had no clue as to what was going on in Chipper's life. Now we get to know more. I'm hooked.

3 hours ago, Kitt said:

Unfortunately the side people show the public world and the private lives of guys like Damien are very different things, and until marriage Christina would have seen the public. Damien.

I didn't like the guy from the get go. He's the sort that had he displayed his archaic attitudes in front of gram he would have been introduced to the business end of her broom!

The sad part is there are countless people like Damien around. Abusive partners are a dime a dozen. I think Damien's downfall will be not realizing Chipper would back her up and he would have the support of his friends. At least Crisina took the first step of asking for help.

2 hours ago, JayA said:

I realize what you are trying with this format, but feel that I am left short on content.  But, yes I am hooked on the story itself.  Seeing Chipper in action and what is going on with his life is excellent.

Not happy about not hearing CJ in the story in the future, but you made up for it with the new story in December......

As I always am........ready for the next update!!!!!  Thanks for continuing stories and your writing. I am very, very hooked on your stories.

One advantage of what I'm doing is there's no full-week waiting between chapters! Next one goes up Tuesday. Maybe they're not a full meal, but frequent, smaller ones are supposed to be better for us.

2 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

Great, tumultuous chapter. Chipper’s psyche must feel like he’s on a roller coaster. How can he prepare for the contest properly? Looking forward to the next chapter.

I think it would be tougher if he was doing it alone, but he's already called on Michael, Blaine, Ethan, and CJ for assistance. And since this is a musical story, I'll remind everyone That's What Friends Are For.

1 hour ago, Dr. John NYC said:

I do hope Cristina holds firm in her current agreement to get away from Damien. Even with help from Chipper, Evan, and CJ, I fear she will cave at least once as so many abused spouses do. We know so many intelligent, educated professionals who keep forgiving and going back to their abusers — sometimes once too many for their lives or the lives of their children. So frustrating but you cannot save someone from themselves. 

As I just mentioned, Cristina took the first step. She recognized there's a problem. And as you say, she already tried to make excuses to stay with Damien. I tried to make it clear Chipper was not going to sit idly by. If he needs to do some tough loving to keep her and the baby safe, he'll do it. And he has backup.

1 hour ago, Dr. John NYC said:

Three cheers for gram and her broom!

If gram gets an AK47, I'm leaving the area.

48 minutes ago, Daddydavek said:

Poor Chipper, life can be distracting enough without the family drama from his sister's soon to be ex!

I'm still trying to adjust to these mini-bytes after all the chapters that were over 5K in your other books...I think some of your other readers are too.

It took me about 40 chapters before I got used to Mann's 1k chapters.  Perhaps a 2k format twice a week would be a bit more satisfying?

Bargaining? Are you getting ready for when you need to do it with the grandson? How about if I promise not to have a cliffhanger every other chapter like Mann does.

@Mann Ramblings you didn't even edit this one and you're getting ink!

20 minutes ago, dughlas said:

First, I applaud you for working to stretch your abilities. Personally I would be thrilled with one thousand word chapter posting everyday but that ain't gonna happen. Perhaps if you would stop writing such great stuff your readers wouldn't mind if the chapters were short. Again, ain't gonna happen. I recall times in the past when you gave us 5,000+ words and we still wanted more. Keep doing what you're doing. In the long run we'll be glad for it but still chirp like hungry birds. Now as to the actual chapter ... I am very curious to see this unfold from Chipper's perspective. We had bits of it earlier so have an idea where this is headed but had no clue as to what was going on in Chipper's life. Now we get to know more. I'm hooked.

I firmly believe readers can tackle Singer without having previously read about him in the CJ series. That said, because this one and Goodnight, My Angel overlap for a while, I've covered a couple of events twice. When I first wrote about Cristina and Damien having troubles, I kept it somewhat vague on purpose. I wanted to use Chipper's story to explain what happened.

32 minutes ago, Carlos Hazday said:

If gram gets an AK47, I'm leaving the area.

Dont worry Carlos. While guns and hunting have always been part of my family's history, I dont think gram ever touched them unless they were in the way of her housekeeping! At any rate, she has moved on to some other plane of existance. 

Now my dad's mum would be another story, but in her hands a Lincoln Town car would be concidered a lethal weapon too!

1 minute ago, Kitt said:

a Lincoln Town car would be concidered a lethal weapon

Interesting. You know those two gay guys in Chelsea? The ones that own a club and a gym? I'm working on a story and this morning I wrote something about the Italian family patriarch being driven around in an old Lincoln Continental limo. The tank-sized ones from the 70s!

8 hours ago, Carlos Hazday said:

Fair enough.

After years of reading comments left on stories using a similar approach, I expected a certain level of dissatisfaction from some readers. I did it because it was a challenge. Could I string together a series of short chapters into a comprehensive tale? Strip everything down so there are as few superfluous words as possible? I don't want to write stories burdened down with unnecessary details. One of the issues is the serial posting which I tried to ameliorate by publishing twice a week. I suspect if read as a novella instead of individual chapters, the level of dislike would diminish.

Help me out here. You say you don't like the format for "this type of story."  That suggest you might find it enjoyable under different circumstances. What type of story do you think it would work for you?

Hey, I admire the way you are challenging yourself, and always trying to improve, so I hope I was not misunderstood. Personally I am not a huge fan of super short chapters at all, although I understand the criticism to very long ones (not that i mind, most of the times. I have less of problem with it in more "adventure-like" stories or vignettes, like some of Cia and Mann stories (although even then I fell that 1.5 to 2X of characters would probably be best). Particularly this chapter  when i read it felt a little compressed, with all that was going on. But it's just my opinion, I just said something because I thought you would like to get different feedbacks. 😊

Ummm... I forgot this was going to be 1000 word chapters... 

Glad we get to see Chipper’s point of view on Cristina’s rape. Sucks I had to read Damien’s name again🤬

With his friends on his side, helping to lol out for his sister, I’m hopeful he will find a balance between his family and this competition.. 

On 9/6/2019 at 7:59 PM, Sweetlion said:

Hey, I admire the way you are challenging yourself, and always trying to improve, so I hope I was not misunderstood. Personally I am not a huge fan of super short chapters at all, although I understand the criticism to very long ones (not that i mind, most of the times. I have less of problem with it in more "adventure-like" stories or vignettes, like some of Cia and Mann stories (although even then I fell that 1.5 to 2X of characters would probably be best). Particularly this chapter  when i read it felt a little compressed, with all that was going on. But it's just my opinion, I just said something because I thought you would like to get different feedbacks. 😊

I may ramble but bear with me.

You weren't misunderstood. As a matter of fact, I sort of agree with you. To me, the challenge of flash chapters is how to tell a whole story with a limited number of words. That goes back to my belief that chapter breaks should come organically instead of being forced. Each one should end at obvious stopping point. Cliffhangers are natural breaking point. LOL In this chapter, my goal was to show Chipper coming to his sister's assistance and his friends coming to his help. I want to showcase him having close connections with his blood family and the non-biological one. I might have been able to break this one in two by doing one with a more detailed description of what Damien did and another one showcasing Chipper's actions. Same with the first chapter. Mann beta read that one and said it was okay but I could have expanded the section with the professor and done a separate chapter for the actual audition.

However, my anal retentive mind had already trapped me into a format. While I developed the outline and later wrote the story, I watched most of three seasons of the show. I knew the number of performances needed to reach different levels. Using that as a starting point, I began picking music; the songs tell their own story. Writing a chapter for each time Chipper sang was not enough to show other things I wanted to include. I decided to alternate between a musical chapter and a non-musical one. When that didn't work, I settled on one with songs and two without.

The prologue was a marketing ploy. Having CJ, Owen, and Liebe in it I thought would at least entice their fans to read. I tried to provide enough details a newby wouldn't be lost. Not sure if it worked. Any new readers out there wanna comment? So, with the prologue set, I wanted to start the actual story with music, and that meant cramming the meeting with the professor and the actual performances into one chapter. Rushed? Most likely. As the prologue proves, and those familiar with me probably know, I'm not adverse to starting in the middle and working my way back and forth (I have a story in the works doing that every chapter.) With Cristina, I wanted the shock of what was happening without too many distractions, in the next chapter, I follow up on these events, and provide additional details.

Bored yet?

I've driven readers crazy in the past with quick scene changes. Writing a story in 1k chapters was an effort in being concise and limiting a chapter to one topic. I did not entirely succeed, but I liked the approach and will probably try it again in the future. I have a better idea of how to make it work. Although I've been taken to task for not expanding certain scenes in the past, I've realized that's my style. Throw out something, provide enough detail to create the atmosphere, then back away and allow readers to fill in the blanks with their imagination. I hate stories where authors tell us someone's routine every time they write about the characters morning routine. I don't need to hear about anyone brushing their teeth every couple of chapters.

Coming up in "Green Room" is a non-musical chapter followed by Chipper's initial performance (the one CJ and Owen watch in the prologue) in the next one. I'd love to hear what you think after each of those.

So, Damian finally showed his true colors. Remember "The Omen." 😏 There has been so much foreshadowing (everytime he turns up), it's not much of a surprise. Once again The Squad is circling the wagons. Hopefully things with Christina will be sorted quickly and not interfere with the contest. Nicely written, Carlos. Thanks. 

9 hours ago, Carlos Hazday said:

I may ramble but bear with me.

You weren't misunderstood. As a matter of fact, I sort of agree with you. To me, the challenge of flash chapters is how to tell a whole story with a limited number of words. That goes back to my belief that chapter breaks should come organically instead of being forced. Each one should end at obvious stopping point. Cliffhangers are natural breaking point. LOL In this chapter, my goal was to show Chipper coming to his sister's assistance and his friends coming to his help. I want to showcase him having close connections with his blood family and the non-biological one. I might have been able to break this one in two by doing one with a more detailed description of what Damien did and another one showcasing Chipper's actions. Same with the first chapter. Mann beta read that one and said it was okay but I could have expanded the section with the professor and done a separate chapter for the actual audition.

However, my anal retentive mind had already trapped me into a format. While I developed the outline and later wrote the story, I watched most of three seasons of the show. I knew the number of performances needed to reach different levels. Using that as a starting point, I began picking music; the songs tell their own story. Writing a chapter for each time Chipper sang was not enough to show other things I wanted to include. I decided to alternate between a musical chapter and a non-musical one. When that didn't work, I settled on one with songs and two without.

The prologue was a marketing ploy. Having CJ, Owen, and Liebe in it I thought would at least entice their fans to read. I tried to provide enough details a newby wouldn't be lost. Not sure if it worked. Any new readers out there wanna comment? So, with the prologue set, I wanted to start the actual story with music, and that meant cramming the meeting with the professor and the actual performances into one chapter. Rushed? Most likely. As the prologue proves, and those familiar with me probably know, I'm not adverse to starting in the middle and working my way back and forth (I have a story in the works doing that every chapter.) With Cristina, I wanted the shock of what was happening without too many distractions, in the next chapter, I follow up on these events, and provide additional details.

Bored yet?

I've driven readers crazy in the past with quick scene changes. Writing a story in 1k chapters was an effort in being concise and limiting a chapter to one topic. I did not entirely succeed, but I liked the approach and will probably try it again in the future. I have a better idea of how to make it work. Although I've been taken to task for not expanding certain scenes in the past, I've realized that's my style. Through out something, provide enough detail to create the atmosphere, then back away and allow readers to fill in the blanks with their imagination. I hate stories where authors tell us someone's routine every time they write about the characters morning routine. I don't need to hear about anyone brushing their teeth every couple of chapters.

Coming up in "Green Room" is a non-musical chapter followed by Chipper's initial performance (the one CJ and Owen watch in the prologue) in the next one. I'd love to hear what you think after each of those.

To paraphrase, "If you write it, they will read." I am happy to read any story of yours, and I have enjoyed the different formats. Sometimes it just takes a little getting used to.