Bloodlines - 17. Chapter 17

September 15, 1998

“You wanna go with me to pick up my parents?” I asked Cole.

“I'd rather get stung by 100 bees,” he said.

“Yeah. Me too,” I said. “Don't fuck the place up. They'll want to see it.”

“Bring them back. I'll be here stark naked, beating off.” I laughed at him. He'd really started to open up, to joke and laugh since we'd moved into the dorms. He really only seemed relaxed when we were in here, in the room, a safe environment, just the two of us. I was cool with that. I figured that any interaction he had with me would probably ultimately transfer to other people.

“I wish,” I said, and winked. Then I grabbed my keys and headed to the airport for the second time in two days. Yesterday, Stef had flown us all to Malibu to celebrate Will’s birthday. He was a great kid and I was starting to like the idea that I was a big brother.

I felt my stomach churn with apprehension as I drove, knowing that this visit would probably be an abject failure. It could go wrong in so many different ways it was almost a foregone conclusion that it would be a disaster.

For starters, my parents had graciously accepted JP's invitation to stay at Escorial. That blew my mind. I had figured there was no fucking way they'd do that. They always stayed at hotels, never with friends. I let my mind wander, thinking it was some evil plot on their part to torture me, or ruin my relationship with my new family.

There they'd be there surrounded by evil homosexuals. JP was right, they'd never be rude to anyone, but they'd be thinking it. And then when I was alone with them, they'd drill it into me about how immoral it was, how awful and disgusting. And then I'd have to make the choice between ignoring them and fighting back.

Of course there would be the whole issue of my kidneys. I'd been feeling so great lately it had been easy to forget all about that, but when they got here that issue, the issue of my health, would be front and center.

And as if all that tension and stress weren’t enough, I'd feel obligated to spend at least a few nights at Escorial to be with them, and I didn't want to. I liked being in my dorm room. I liked being with Cole. I worried that he'd do nothing, just hang out and be lonely while I was gone. Part of me wanted to think that was pathetic, but for some reason, knowing it was Cole, I didn't feel that way at all. He liked me and I liked him. We were friends. I thought about my friends in the past, friends like Kelso and Garner. When push came to shove, those guys weren't there for me. They weren't in my corner like true friends were. Cole was. He'd have my back, no question.

I wanted to light up a joint to relax, but they'd probably smell it in the GMC and I didn't want to have that argument on top of everything else. What would they say when JP pulled out his nightly joint and lit it up? Would they smoke too? The thought of my parents stoned made me laugh out loud, which must have looked pretty funny to the people stuck in traffic next to me. I crawled up the 101, looking at my watch nervously even though I had plenty of time.

San Francisco Airport is massive and confusing, but I managed to wander around until I found their terminal. Then I passed through security and headed down to the gate with half an hour to spare. I grabbed a USA Today and flipped through it, then bought a pen so I could do the crossword puzzle. The monitor said the flight was delayed 15 minutes. More waiting. More torture. I went to the bathroom to pee. Now it was only ten minutes. Then seven. Then two. And the plane still wasn't here. I was so spoiled now, so used to Stef's jet, that this whole commercial air travel thing was shit. Finally the plane pulled into sight, crawling up to the Jetway. There were delays while the airline tracked down ground personnel to open the doors. The arrival of their own flight seemed to surprise them. I shook my head, irritated. Then the doors opened and my parents came strolling out, the first ones off the plane. They flew First Class, of course.

“Matt!” Mummy said and rushed over to hug me. “It seems like you've been gone forever!”

“Good to see you Son,” my father said, and then it was his turn to hug me. Suddenly, being with them and remembering how much I loved them made my fears and tensions evaporate.

“I'm so glad you guys could come out!” I said enthusiastically. “I even managed to clean up my dorm room so you can see it.”

They laughed at that. “Well, since it's already 4:00, that will probably have to wait until tomorrow,” my father said. “Let's hope your roommate doesn't mess it all up in the meantime.” I led them to baggage claim to retrieve their matching Hartman luggage, and then out to the familiar GMC.

“So tell us about your roommate? Is he a nice boy?” Mummy asked.

“Boy?” I teased. “Yeah, I'm sharing a room with a 13-year-old wunderkind.”

“Matthew,” she said reprovingly, teasing me back.

“His name's Cole Weber. He's from Nebraska, grew up on a farm. He hardly talks at all, and I really like him,” I said.

“Well it's nice that you get along,” Mummy said, probably because she didn't quite know how to digest my description.

“It was nice of Professor Crampton to invite us to stay with him,” my father said.

Yeah, nice for a fag, I thought, visualizing their bigotry. “He's a very nice man,” I said.

“So what were you doing this summer? You said you had an internship?” my father asked.

“I worked with Stefan and Brad Schluter on some of their business deals. They specialize in real estate and venture capital,” I said.

“And you got to watch and learn?” he asked, but made it sound like I was a total leech. It pissed me off enough to brag.

“No, actually I did some investigative work on a land deal in Wyoming. Stef says I saved him millions of dollars, so he gave me some stock in a startup company he invested in,” I told him proudly.

“Well that's very good,” Mummy said. “You're quite the businessman.” They were patronizing me now, and it was really starting to irritate me.

“How much stock did he give you?” my father asked.

I smiled. My chance for payback. “$100,000 worth. I'll have to show it as income, so I'll have a tax liability for this year, but Stef said he'd help me cover that too.” My father just stared at me. He made more than that in a week, but it was still a lot of money.

“Well good for you,” he said, backing down.

“Will we get to meet your, to meet Robert Hayes?” Mummy asked nervously.

“Yes, you'll get to meet Robbie. You'll like him. He's a nice guy. His father lives at Escorial too,” I said. I sensed I needed to alleviate their insecurities, so I teased them a little bit. “I've told Robbie all about you, so he's got you on a pedestal in his mind.”

“And he's agreed to give you a kidney?” Mummy asked. “That is just charitable beyond measure.”

I thought about that and felt guilt overwhelm me. Here I'd been dissing them in my mind because I'd already decided they'd hate Robbie, Stef, JP, and everyone. In reality, they loved me so much they were grateful that Robbie would step forward and donate a kidney to keep me healthy. I felt my emotions riding the roller coaster and decided the tension I'd felt before they arrived was justified, even if my scorn for them and their attitudes wasn't.

We pulled up to the gates that opened automatically for me. That seemed to have an impact on them, which kind of surprised me. They didn't have gates on our house but some of our neighbors did, so it wasn't unusual in their world. Maybe they were impressed because it meant I was close enough to JP and his family that they'd given me an automatic opener for the gate.

“What a lovely home!” Mummy exclaimed.

“It certainly is,” my father said. “Look at all this land. In Palo Alto it must be worth a fortune.”

“I should think so,” Mummy said. They'd never be so crass as to talk about money in front of other people, but amongst us, they were the epitome of materialism. Their attitude seemed to change again, seeing JP's massive home and obvious wealth suddenly pushed him up a notch in their eyes. Was I like them? Did I do that too? I led them into the cavernous entry foyer, then into the Great Hall, and there JP was, with his armory of social skills.

“Mr. and Mrs. Carrswold! How wonderful to meet you. And what an honor to have you stay with us,” he said, pouring it on.

“You are too kind,” my father said. “Thank you for your invitation. You have a lovely home.”

“Would you like to see it? It's got quite a history,” he said. “Matt, do you mind if I steal your parents away for a bit?”

“Not at all. I have to make a phone call anyway,” I said. I couldn't figure out what his motive was, but he wanted to give me some time away from them. I followed them down the hallway to my room and showed it to them, then let JP escort them on. No sooner had he left than a very unwelcome face appeared in the doorway.

“May I come in?” Brian asked. I glared at him, I was so pissed and I knew he could tell, but I promised JP I'd give him a chance.

“Why not,” I said unenthusiastically. He walked in and shut the door behind him. “What's on your mind?” In other words, get to the point or get the fuck out.

“I'm sorry,” he said. I blinked at him, not expecting that at all. He walked over and got down on his knees in front of me as I sat on the edge of my bed. “You are a really nice guy, and I have been such a dick.”

“Dude, you don't have to get down on your hands and knees,” I said. It was making me really uncomfortable, having him there prostrating himself.

“Yeah, I do, so you'll know I mean it, that you'll know I'm sincere,” he said earnestly.

I reached down and pulled him up and had him sit next to me. “Look Brian, I'm all for trying to get along. And it takes a big set of balls to come in here and apologize like you did. But I'm not gonna lie. You make me nervous. I'm not sure I can trust you.”

“That's fair. Maybe over time, you'll learn to, and who knows, maybe we can be friends. But I have to try and make things right between us,” he said.

“Why? Why did you go off on me?” I asked.

“Cody,” he said. “I spent the last few days in Malibu, and I think I finally got some clarity. And it's really thanks to you.”

“You were in Malibu?” I asked. I hid my anger, anger not at Brian, but at Cody. I talked to him this morning and he didn't say anything about Brian being there.

“Yeah.” He looked nervous now. “I had to get closure. I had to get myself back.” His wounds were so obvious now.

“Closure with Cody?” I asked.

“He told me what you said, about what he does, and it was like a light bulb flashed in my mind. How he'd push me away, pull me back in, and push me away again. Then I had Justin, who's awesome, but I don't love him. I care about him, but I don't love him. So Justin was my stability while Cody was my excitement. You came in and upset my balance. You fucked up my harem,” he said, and smiled. God, he was cute when he wasn't a dick. He looked so much like JP.

“You need to learn how to share,” I teased, and made him smile even wider.

“I need to find a guy who I can love, and who loves me,” he said. “Cody just couldn't do that. I see that now. And Justin could, but I couldn't love him.”

He seemed really freaked out about the whole thing. “Dude, you're like this mass of tangled emotions. You OK?”

He laughed. “Yeah, I am now. God, Matt, I feel so liberated. It's like I finally figured this whole thing out and freed my demons.”

“That's cool,” I said sincerely. But I wasn't that nice. I'm a selfish bastard at heart, so what was on my mind was what this meant for me. Brian had tied his fate to Cody, and it had turned him into a psycho. Here he was, coming out of some weird spell, starting to seem like a normal person again. Could that happen to me? Would Cody unwittingly turn me into a walking disaster?

“Well, you need to go spend time with your parents,” he said. “I just needed to say that to you. We OK?”

I looked at him and for the first time my fury faded and I actually saw him, saw Brian the person, not Brian the asshole. And I saw the swollen nose that I'd given him. I ran my fingers over it gently, cringing at the damage I'd done to his handsome face. “I'm sorry too.”

“It's just swollen. In a few days I'll be back to normal. Physically and emotionally.” Then he got up and walked out of my room with amazing confidence. God, people were fucked up. No wonder Cole didn't want to talk to anyone. I sighed and went off to catch up with my parents.

I found them by the pool downstairs with JP and Stefan. I just stood back, out of sight, and watched the interactions. It was really funny to watch my father try to figure out how to deal with Stefan. First he'd treat Stef like he'd treat one of the ladies at the country club, then he'd treat him like one of the guys. His schizophrenic approach was pretty funny.

“Well there you are,” Mummy said as I walked up. “We are so enjoying ourselves!”

“You should go swimming,” I said. She gave me that look, the one that reminded me that she only swam in matronly swimsuits with flowered swim caps.

“Let me show you to your room,” JP said. “You may want to relax and get settled in before dinner.” We all went up to their room and then JP and Stef left me alone with them.

“What nice men,” Mummy said. My father looked more skeptical, but he was too polite to say anything.

“JP's a stickler for dinner at 7:00 on the dot Mummy, so if you don't want to offend your host, I'd skip the part about being 20 minutes late and how that's polite,” I said. She never went to anything on time.

“Well then you should let me get ready,” she said with barely concealed irritation. I left them then and went back to my room to spruce up. All I wanted to do was escape back to the dorms, to my life with my uncommunicative roommate.

I went by my parents’ room to make sure they actually were ready on time, and surprisingly enough they were. I felt really strange leading them to the dining room, like they were debutantes and I was presenting them, but once I got there I was irrelevant. Isidore was there, and if two people can absolutely click together as soon as they meet, Isidore and Mummy were those two people. Isidore introduced them to everyone at the table, going around clockwise, which had ironically enough left Robbie and Brad last. I winked at them, trying to ease the discomfort we all felt.

“And this is my son Brad, and his partner Robbie,” Isidore said.

“It's so nice to finally meet you,” Mummy said. “We owe you so much.”

“I'm the one who owes you,” Robbie said. “You did an amazing job raising Matt.”

“Thank you,” my father said in as friendly a tone as he could manage. We all sat down, thankfully, and started to eat. I watched Mummy and could read her mind as she tried to mentally lock down who was attached to whom. My father's mind worked much more logically. I looked at him and saw him trying to lock down who was gay and who wasn't.

After dinner we went out on the patio and drank cordials and liqueurs, until my parents finally seemed tired enough to end the evening. I walked them back to their room, then went straight to mine, shut the door, and collapsed on my bed, completely drained. I decided that they could stay as long as they wanted, but I was moving back into the dorms tomorrow night. I stripped down and lay in my bed. I felt my body stirring, my hormones surging, and my hand instinctively went to my groin. It took almost no time at all for my dick to harden. I was about to go get some of my fun little toys I'd bought in Missouri when there was a knock on my door. I jumped under the covers and hid my erection. “Come in.”

The door opened and there was Brian, in just his boxers, looking sexy as hell. He closed the door behind him and I heard the lock click. He walked over to the bed and pulled the covers back, exposing my naked body and my hard cock. He grinned and shucked off his shorts, then climbed in bed with me. “I'm horny, and I don't want to be alone. Is this OK?” he asked.

“Yeah, it's good,” I said. “But I need to know something first.”

“What?” he asked, although I'm sure he knew what my question would be.

“Did Cody fuck you when you were in Malibu?”

He nodded. “I'm sorry Matt. He told me you were together. I wasn't trying to ruin that...” I put my finger on his lips to shut him up.

“Shhhh. I just wanted to know. That makes it better. And now, I'm gonna make you my bitch,” I said, my voice getting increasingly more authoritative as I got closer to the end of the sentence. I picked him up and put him on top of me. He was so light I could practically do anything I wanted with him. I grabbed a condom and slipped it on, then the lube, and positioned his body so he sat down on my dick.

“Mmm,” he moaned contentedly as he took me inside him. “This is what I need.”

I suddenly felt something I hadn't really experienced before: a primal, animalistic lust. A drive, the need to take him forcefully, to really fuck him. I pushed him off of me and onto his back, then I climbed on top of him, letting him feel my weight, my power. “No, what you need is a good, raw, fuck.”

His eyes got big and glazed. I grabbed his legs and pulled them up, wrapping my arms around them, forcing his ass in the air, exposing his vulnerable hole. Then I plowed back into him and started to really fuck him. He looked up at me and I just snarled at him, and then leaned down to bite his neck, not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to leave a mark. I felt his heels pounding against my back as he urged me on.

His ass was exquisite. In so many ways, he was like JP. I fucked him like I was running a marathon, the sweat dripping off of me, while he lay pinned under me, taking me like a champ, his whole body throbbing as I penetrated him. My sweat rolled down my chest to my abdomen where it collected on his groin, making it slick between us and allowing his cock to squish and slide against my pulsating body. I knew he was getting close. I could tell by his little whimpers and contortions as they picked up their frequency and their pitch got higher. And then he came, blasting all over my stomach and his, just lubing us up even more. He cried, he shrieked, and then he was done, and it was my turn.

Even though he'd just cum, I didn't spare him for a minute. I drove on, just as hard as before, his look, the look of lust mixed with discomfort, just made my orgasm that much stronger. When I came I blasted so hard I thought I'd blow the condom right off my dick, but it held on and so did Brian. I finished up and just rolled off of him, probably a little too abruptly, and probably a little too rudely.

He sensed my mood, that I didn't want to snuggle up with him. How gay was that anyway? Snuggle? I put that out of my mind. I didn't want him around. We were cool, but I didn't want him to stay. “Thanks,” he said. “That was a blast. Kind of like a friendship fuck.”

Too funny. I laughed. “Well, if that's the case, you're a damn good friend,” I joked.

“I'll prove that over time,” he said sincerely, and then he left. I lay there, still hot, still wet from my exertions, and put my arms behind my head and just thought about all this shit. I'd gotten sucked right into this thing with him and Cody and Justin, and it was possible, just possible, that I'd just extricated myself from it. If I could just keep things cool and easy with all three of them, I might just be able to survive in their jungle.

I thought about fucking Brian, and how he was fun, but it was weird. I kept seeing him with Cody, and the thought of them in an intimate encounter was really disturbing. Or was it? Fuck them. Why should I give a shit whom Cody nails? He was important to me on a whole different level. It was almost as if I could put him on a shelf and not agonize over him not being here, not pine away for him like a love struck teenager, that I could actually turn my feelings off. Maybe that meant I didn't love him after all. Maybe I was incapable of loving anyone. I drifted off to sleep in a tense and disturbed mood, and had the nightmares to show for it.

September 16, 1998

“What a lovely area,” Mummy said as I led her toward my dorm room. “This lake will be so pretty when it has more water in it.” Or any.

“That should happen when it rains,” I said. “JP says it gets really pretty here. The hills turn green instead of gold.”

“He's a very nice man,” my father said. Of course he wouldn't dream of admitting that he was wrong in objecting to me visiting and staying with JP and Stef. I found my patience for his bullshit was seriously taxed.

“He is,” I agreed, hoping to drop the subject. “This is Lag West, and we're in that building, Eucalipto.” I led them inside and saw Mummy look at the place disdainfully. “This is probably the nicest dorm on campus. They just finished renovating Lag.”

“You are very lucky,” she said insincerely.

“Reminds me of college,” my father said. He was remarkably upbeat now. I led them to my room and thought of knocking but decided that may look strange. I mean, it was my room and all. Still, I was nervous when I opened the door. What if Cole was really going to do what he threatened, lie there on his back and just beat off? I smiled. If he was, I'd leave them here at the door and fuck him. I opened the door and the first thing that hit me was the smell of paint.

“My goodness it's bright in here,” Mummy said. I looked at Cole, and looked at the walls, and smiled.

“You painted this while I was gone last night?” I asked. He'd done our room in red and white.

“Yep,” he said. “I thought I'd surprise you. Hope you like it.”

“It's awesome!” What a nice thing for him to do. While I'd been fucking Brian, he'd been here working his ass off trying to make our room a little nicer. “Cole, these are my parents. Edward and Amanda Carrswold,” I said. “This is my roommate, Cole Weber.”

“It's so nice to meet you,” Mummy said with her jaw locked, as usual. “It's just lovely the way you've painted the room. Such school spirit.”

“Yes ma'am. Well, I'm from Nebraska and these are our colors too, so it helps to keep me from getting too homesick.” I stared at him and smiled with my eyes. He was really exerting himself to make a good impression. I knew that conversations like these were sheer hell for him.

“That's pretty lucky,” my father said in his masculine, friendly way. “So what are you majoring in?”

“We haven't even started classes yet,” I said to him.

“Math. I'm a math major sir,” Cole said respectfully.

“You have a talent I could only dream of then,” Mummy said, drawing out the word dream so it was almost as long as the rest of the sentence combined. “The advanced math classes were always such a challenge, I couldn't wait to flee to the comfortable world of English.”

“I'm just the opposite,” Cole said, and smiled at her sweetly. My parents stayed and chattered away, while Cole did an amazing job of socializing. I could see the strain in his eyes as he put forward his best effort to be charming. It was nice that he did it, because Mummy seemed to really like him, and my father clearly did. But what was really cool was that he did it for me, just to make my life easier, just to try and make their visit easier.

Things were going great until Mummy ruined the mood. “Cole, you seem like such a responsible person, I'm so glad you're Matt's roommate. You'll have to help keep an eye on him in case he gets sick.” Fuck. He looked at me, surprised.

“Is something wrong with you?” he asked.

“My kidneys are threatening to stop working,” I said. I should have told him. He's my roommate and my friend. I could tell he was hurt that I didn't.

“Well we barged in on you guys right after you moved in, so we haven't given you much time to get to know each other,” my father said, coming to my rescue.

“I'll tell you all about it later,” I said. He nodded, ameliorated somewhat.

“Well you promised us a tour of the campus, and then we're having dinner at Escorial. After that you can escape back here,” Mummy said.

“I figured I'd stay at Escorial so I could take you to the airport in the morning,” I said reluctantly. The last thing I wanted to do was stay there again, but I only had to do my duty for a little longer to make them happy and keep them off my back.

“Rafael is taking us dear. You need to settle in. So let's hurry along so we can squeeze that tour in. Cole, would you like to join us?” Mummy asked.

“I don't want to intrude on your family time,” he said shyly.

“Nonsense. We'll need your help after Amanda shops in the bookstore,” my father said. “I suspect we'll end up with at least a few Stanford cardigans.”

“It would be fun to have you along,” I said. “Plus you can eat at Escorial. Food there is better.”

“You sold me,” he said with his little smile that was so cute. I guided them around the campus on foot, and then took them in the GMC to see the outlying buildings and the Linear Accelerator that went under I-280. My parents spent a fucking fortune in the bookstore and bought stuff for Cole too.

“You don't have to buy me anything,” he said nervously.

“You painted the room so nicely it's the least we can do,” Mummy said cheerfully as she held a sweater up to his hulking body. “Do you wear large or extra large?”

“Extra large,” he said, unnecessarily. For some reason that made me think of his dick, size queen that I am. I hadn't seen him hard, so I really didn't know how big he was. I'd felt him when we wrestled and it seemed big, but I couldn't really tell. Goal for the first quarter, I thought to myself: Find out how big Cole's dick is.

I looked at my watch. It was already 6:00pm. “We have to get going or we'll be late for dinner,” I said. Cole nodded. He'd learned about JP's strange obsession with punctuality at dinner.

“Surely we can be a little late?” Mummy asked.

“Amanda, let's not be rude. Here, we'll pay for these things and head back,” my father said, putting a bunch of stuff in my arms and Cole's. We stood in line to pay and almost had to restrain Mummy so she didn't go wandering off into the store again and finally made it to the register, paid, and got out of there. We all but dashed to the GMC and rushed up to Escorial. We got there with barely 15 minutes to spare.

Dinner was really nice. Normally there was a lot of food, really good food; food like you'd eat at a really nice restaurant. Tonight JP had gone all out and the meal was like a gourmet experience. It set the mood, a tastefully festive atmosphere. I made sure Cole sat next to me so he had one less person he had to talk to, and so he could watch my cues with the proper forks and knives to use. I'd have to gently work on those finer points with him.

“I've forgotten something,” JP said as we all started to eat. “Please go ahead. I'll be right back.” He vanished into the cellar and came back up carrying two bottles of wine. “These were given to me a long time ago by a very close friend of mine. Sadly he is no longer with us. He owned and ran a winery in Almaden, and told me this was his favorite vintage.” I knew he was talking about Roger. His pictures had been in the album Stef had shown me. The guy had been a total hunk, and he'd been JP's partner until he died of AIDS.

“Those are your last two bottles,” Brad said, not reprovingly, just as a comment.

“They are, but I can't think of a more appropriate time to use them than now, when we welcome the Carrswolds into our extended family,” he said smoothly. “I hope you will consider yourselves welcome here, and will visit as often as possible.”

“Thank you JP,” my father said in a formal tone. “I never dreamed we'd get such a nice reception, or that you'd all be such nice people. It makes it easier to leave Matt here, knowing there are people here who love him and will watch out for him.” He finished his sentence with his eyes resting on Cole. What the fuck did that mean? Was there some hidden vibe between us that I wasn't even picking up? I drank a glass of the wine; it was really good, and decided not to worry about it. It seemed to take an eternity for dinner to end and for me to regain my freedom to move back to the dorms and live my life again.

But of course it wasn't that simple. There were the tearful goodbyes, the sadness of leaving people I loved behind yet again, the endless admonitions from Mummy to take care of myself, and from my father to maintain my grades. Finally Cole and I were in the GMC. As we pulled out of Escorial I stopped on the side of the road and pulled out a joint.

“Light this for me,” I said, handing it to him. He did, and we got high as we wound our way down the hills and back to campus.

“Your parents are nice,” Cole said.

“You're actually starting a conversation?” I teased.

“Yep. I figure that counts as my tenth sentence for the day,” he said. I laughed.

“Seriously dude, you were awesome today. I couldn't believe how friendly and talkative you were. Thanks.”

“Yep,” he said, and then we both cracked up. When we got back to our dorm room, I felt like I was home.