Bloodlines - 39. Chapter 39

December 17, 1998

I woke up alone and heard the shower running. I smiled and headed in to join Wade, then remembered my camcorder. I wanted to take some videos of the house and grounds, so I snagged it and put it in my case, then hurried to get in the shower before Wade finished.

“Morning,” he said with a smile.

“Morning,” I said, and grabbed his dick. He chuckled at that. I kissed him, pulling him to me, savoring that feeling of closeness that I loved so much. I ran my hand down his back to his ass, and his crack, but he kind of jerked away. He dropped to his knees and started blowing me, a nice blow job for sure, but I wasn’t an idiot. He basically didn’t want me to fuck him. I tried to write it off to his being wigged out because we were here in his parents' house, but deep down it still bothered me. When he was done I returned the favor, trying to put as much passion into it as I could even though he hadn’t, and then we rinsed off and headed to our respective rooms to get dressed.

We were feeling kind of playful, so we raced down the stairs, each of us taking a different staircase for fun, and then sprinted to the kitchen for breakfast. Wade’s mom was there, with no visible sign of a hangover, drinking a Bloody Mary. She eyed us, these two panting college students, dubiously.

“Wade, I thought we'd drive out and see Nana today,” she said.

“It's my first day home,” he whined.

“I know, but we should get it out of the way,” she said soothingly. I looked at him, wondering who Nana was.

“Nana is my grandmother. She's in a nursing home,” Wade said. “It's a long drive, and a depressing place. You don't have to go if you don't want to.”

I thought about that and decided to pass. I already felt trapped here in the compound, and the thought of seeing a bunch of drooling old people wasn't on my agenda. “I wanted to do some shopping anyway,” I said.

“Felix will drive you wherever you want to go, and we'll be back by mid-afternoon,” Mrs. Danfield said. We finished breakfast and they all piled into the limo and Anthony drove them off. Felix was a big black guy. He looked like he'd been a boxer or something. He drove me in a Mercedes S500, almost exactly like my father's.

“I could have driven myself,” I said to him.

“Nope. We're here to take care of you,” he said. I shrugged. “Where do you want to go?”

“A big mall,” I said. That seemed to be the best option.

I pulled out my camcorder and noticed that the tape had ended. Shit, it must have been on last night when Wade's father was in there. I hit the rewind button and it whirred away, heading back to the beginning. I knew his meeting with his dad was none of my business, but curiosity got the best of me. I hit the play button and stared at the screen, stunned and disgusted. I felt my stomach churn, but I did my best to restrain myself, focusing on keeping my reaction neutral. There, on the screen was Wade, on all fours, with his dad fucking him.

“You OK?” Felix asked, looking at me through the rear-view mirror.

I forced a smile and kept my tone and expression neutral. “Yeah, I just drank a lot last night and breakfast isn't sitting real well. I'm fine now.”

“We can go back to the house and come back later,” he offered.

“No, really, I'm fine,” I said. The last thing I would want is to go back to their fucking compound. I finished rewinding the tape and then put the camcorder away, blocking the scene from my mind so I didn't show Felix how freaked out I was. I willed my mind not to think about it, to pretend I hadn't seen it, and focused on the scenery instead. Felix pulled up to a big mall. I had no idea which one, I was barely able to maintain my composure, much less anything else.

“I'll be right here when you’re ready to go back,” he said.

“I'm going to be a while,” I managed to say in a normal tone. “It will bug me if I know you're waiting. Give me your number and I'll call you when I'm done.”

“I'm supposed to wait,” he said obstinately.

That pissed me off a little bit, and that helped steady my nerves. “Do what you want,” I said. “You want to give me your number in case you get bored and decide to go back?”

He shrugged and told me his number and I programmed it into my phone, then I headed into the mall. Now that I was rid of him, I let myself think. No wonder Wade hated his father. How long had that fucker been molesting Wade? Now his reactions to sex made so much sense. I thought about how hard that must have been for him, just to do anything with me today. He must really love me to get raped by his dad at night and then blow me in the morning. I wasn't sure why Wade let his father fuck him, but based on his reactions, it wasn't something he wanted to do. The senator was a powerful man, powerful enough to sexually enslave his son. But the wheels in my brain were turning, and I realized that the tape in my camcorder may just be the ticket to getting that asshole to leave Wade alone. A prominent hypocritical politician was vulnerable to a good sex scandal, and this one, this tape I had, could ruin him completely and irrevocably. I needed to watch the tape, and I needed to make some back-up copies of it. The mall had a video store right inside the door, which seemed to validate my whole train of thought and the plan that was hatching in my brain. I went in and bought three blank video tapes. Next I needed to find a Metro station. What better way to get out of here and dump Felix than by hopping on the Metro?

I hopped on the first Metro train that came along, not really thinking clearly, just wanting to get the fuck away from Felix. The schematic on the side of the car told me that this was a train that headed to the airport, and that seemed as good a place to get off as any. I hopped off the train at the airport and looked at the listing of hotels on the airport board. There was a Hilton there, so I caught the airport shuttle and went in to get a room. I figured if I had my own hotel room, I could watch the whole video in peace.

“I'd like a room for tonight and tomorrow night,” I told the front desk clerk. I don't know why I got an extra night. I think I just wanted a refuge. “I need one with a VCR. I have to watch some tapes for work.”

He didn't give a shit. “The best rate I can give you is $195,” he said.

“Fine.” Money wasn't an issue anymore. I gave him my credit card, well actually it was Stef's, and he gave me my key. I got into the elevator and looked around, paranoid, to see if anyone was looking at me. Before I went into the hotel room I looked around again, one part of my mind telling me that I was being neurotic while the other part was telling me that I had a very powerful Senator who wouldn't appreciate what I was doing. The hotel room was typical, but at least it had a VCR, even if it was a crappy one. It would have to do. I hooked up the cables, put a blank tape in and hit record, and then hit play on the camcorder to watch and copy it at the same time.

The first part showed Wade and me kissing, getting more passionate. That made me smile. We were such a cute couple. Then there was the knock on the door and he ushered me out. Wade walked out of the picture to the door and let his father in.

“What do you want?” Wade spat at him.

“You know what I want,” the Senator said in a sleazy tone. They came back into the picture, Wade backing up while his father grabbed at his boxers.

“Fuck you. I hate your fucking guts. Keep your fucking hands off of me,” Wade shouted. Wade's father looked a lot like him, and was about the same size, but Wade was really muscular and his father wasn't. I couldn't figure out why Wade would let his father fuck him. He could kick his ass with no problem at all.

“Keep your voice down,” he shouted back. “You don't want your friend to hear, now do you?” Wade just glared at him.

“Go back to your room and beat off,” Wade said with a sneer.

“Fine, I'll leave. But I'm not going back to my room. I think I'll go see what Beau is up to. See if he's up for a little fun,” the Senator said.

“No!” Wade shouted. “You fucking leave him alone. You lay a finger on him and I'll fucking kill you with my bare hands.”

“The choice is yours Wade. You want me to fuck you or Beau?”

I saw the look of anguish on Wade's face and understood now why he did it. He loved his little brother, and he was sacrificing himself to keep Beau safe. Wade dropped his boxers, his dick was limp and shriveled, and then he got onto his bed on all fours. He grabbed a bottle of lube, the bottle I'd put there hoping to get laid, and handed it to his father.

The Senator pulled his pants down, his rigid cock springing out. It was smaller than Wade's, but had that same distinctive shape, with the mushroom head that seemed to aim upward. I cringed as I saw him run his hands up and down Wade's ass, then take the lube and rub it all over his cock. Then he moved up to Wade and just shoved it in. I watched Wade's expression of agony as he dealt with the shock and pain of the unwelcome intruder. Then he got that look on his face as he went into his trance. The Senator pounded on and on, lasting a good while, until he finally blew his load. Wade just knelt there in his trance the whole time, then his father pulled up his pants and left.

The next part was sheer hell to watch. Wade collapsed onto his side, facing the camera, and went into a fetal position, sobbing. Only my anger kept me from breaking down. Wade stayed there for quite a while, and then he composed himself, put on his boxers, and walked out of the picture toward my room. I switched the camcorder to double speed and watched to see, as I expected, that the rest of the tape was a picture of Wade's empty bed.

I checked to make sure the VCR had copied it, and then rewound the camcorder tape, popped another blank tape in, and started to dub another one. This time I started recording at the point where he and I had separated after his father had knocked. I needed to get copies made that would prove what had happened .

This explained everything. No wonder Wade was like that when we had sex. I thought about how I'd pulled him out of it before Thanksgiving, how I'd set him free, turned him into a wild man. I thought I was doing him a favor. He must have come back for Thanksgiving and been unable to fall into his trance. He would have been alert and into the whole thing, going through a living hell as his father fucked him. No wonder he wouldn't let me squeeze his nipples and push his guard down. He'd probably endured so much pain over Thanksgiving it was almost intolerable. He knew if he let himself go when he was with me, he'd pay for it when he came back this time.

I glanced at the television and saw Wade's expression as he submitted to his father, and the tears flowed down my cheeks. Then the revulsion hit, and I went into the bathroom and puked my guts out. It was a purge, but then my dominant emotion changed entirely. I felt anger, rage, and hatred toward his father. What a despicable human. But anger was a much better emotion for me. I didn't cry when I was angry, and I didn't give a shit. I ended the recording at the point that Wade had left the room and then made the third copy the same way. Now that I had these copies made, I had to get them into safe hands, and that meant I had to ship them out to California. I hurriedly packed up my gear and headed back out. I asked for directions to the nearest FedEx office, went over there and shipped out the two shorter tapes and my original camcorder cassette. One tape I sent to JP, the other I sent to Brad. The original camcorder cassette I sent to myself. They'd get there tomorrow at the start of the business day, ‘guaranteed’, just like Karl Malden promised. Once I was sure that JP and Brad each had a copy safely in their possession, then I'd be able to bargain with Senator Slimeball.

I'd already been gone for over four hours, and I knew that I had to get back or Felix would freak out. I didn't have any presents either. Fuck. That’s why I’d gone shopping in the first place. While I waited for the Metro, I called JP's cell phone and he picked up, thankfully.

“How is your visit?” he asked cheerfully.

“Shitty. Worse than you could even imagine,” I said. “I can't talk about it now. I FedEx'ed you a package, a video tape. You should get it early in the morning. As soon as you do, I need you to let me know. You and only you can watch it. Well, you and Stef.” I couldn’t ask him to keep something like that from his partner.

“Are you in trouble?” he asked.

“Not yet,” I said. “You'll understand when you see the tape. I'm sending one to Brad too. I need you to keep it in a safe place.”

“Do you need anything?” he asked.

“No, really, I'll be fine. I just need to make sure you get the tape and verify that it still plays OK.”

“I'll call you as soon as it arrives,” he said, and then we hung up. I had a similar conversation with Brad, only he was more annoying because he wanted to know what was going on. I had to be almost rude to him to get him to shut up. Was my phone tapped? Why would it be? And if it was, would the information flow fast enough to let them intercept a FedEx package? I was being paranoid, but the stakes were pretty high here.

I got back to the mall and went out to find Felix waiting, irritated. “I thought you went shopping. You didn't buy anything?”

“I bought stuff and had it shipped,” I said.

“What did you get?” he asked.

“None of your fucking business,” I said, pissing him off. Too fucking bad. He had no authority over me. He drove me home in silence, glowering at me through the rear-view mirror. I ignored him. We drove through the gates of the compound and I felt an internal terror grip me. It was like one of those movies where James Bond gets captured and hauled off to the bad guy's lair.

“Are they back yet?” I asked Felix.

“None of your fucking business,” he said. Normally I would let that wash over me, but I needed an excuse to be outraged, a reason to get the fuck out of here and take Wade with me. This was the ticket.

“You're out of line,” I told him in my calm and bloodless tone. JP would have been proud. “I'm really surprised that the Danfields would let one of their staff members be so rude to one of their guests.” He gave me a dirty look and I went inside.

I was fired up with rage at the situation but directed it at Felix, channeling that outrage into a Broadway-worthy performance. I found Mrs. Danfield and Wade in the drawing room. “Hey,” Wade said cheerfully when he saw me. Then he saw the anger on my face. “What's wrong?”

“I've got to say that I've never been treated so rudely in my entire life,” I said. Mrs. Danfield stared at me, aghast.

“What happened?” she asked.

“I asked Felix if you had returned, and he told me it was none of my, pardon my language ma'am, none of my fucking business.” I stared at her indignantly. I really didn't give a shit about Felix; I was just trying to create a diversion.

“I am very sorry,” she said, now as angry as I was.

“I guess I'm just surprised,” I said. “I'm not used to being treated like that when I'm a guest in someone's home. Maybe it was my fault.”

“I don't know what to say,” she said.

I looked at Wade. “I'd like to get out of here for a little bit. Can we go out?” He looked at me curiously. He knew me, and he knew I was up to something.

“Absolutely,” Wade said. “If it were me, I wouldn't want to spend another minute in a place where I'd been treated like that.”

“I'll have Anthony drive you,” she said, horrified that we were leaving, and that I'd been offended by her staff.

“No thanks ma'am. We'll catch a cab,” I said politely. Wade was snickering behind her back, knowing that I was just stirring shit up to cause problems.

“Please, let me at least have Anthony take you where you want to go,” she said. Wade gave me an imperceptible nod, and then we headed out to the limo. She followed us and glared at both of the drivers. “Anthony, take Mr. Carrswold and Wade wherever they want to go. When you get back, I will see both of you in my study.” Felix looked nervous, especially when I glared at him.

“Where would you like to go?” Anthony asked.

“The nearest Metro station,” I said.

“I can take you wherever you want to go,” he said.

I looked at Wade, acting all offended. He picked up on my cue. “Anthony, if Mr. Carrswold wants to go to the God damn Metro station, that's where we're going. Do you fucking understand?”

“Yes sir,” he said. We got to the Metro station, hopped out, and headed down to catch a train.

“Dude, that was awesome. Those guys are a fucking pain in the ass. They think they have to keep tabs on us all the time. It's like they get off on keeping us under their thumb. Escaping from them is usually a lot harder,” he said, laughing. “My mother is going to rip Felix a new asshole.”

“The guy pissed me off, giving me the third degree about where I went shopping and what I bought,” I told him. “Fuck that.”

“So where are you taking me?” Wade asked. For the first time since we'd been here, he was in a good mood. It killed me to know that I was going to ruin it.

“I got us a room,” I said.

“A room?” he said, and then cracked up. “You're shitting me, right?”

“Nope.” I handed him the key. “The Airport Hilton.”

“Dude, people know me here. I can't be seen going into a hotel,” he objected. “We can fuck at home.”

“We're not going there to fuck, we're going there to talk,” I said firmly.

“Is something wrong?” he asked nervously.

“Yeah, something is very wrong,” I said. “But I don't want to talk about it in public, OK?” I'd destroyed his good mood and I felt bad about that, but it was going to be shattered soon enough anyway. I watched him get almost panicked, so I leaned close to him. “I love you,” I said, trying to reassure him. It worked, but only a little bit.

He got really nervous when we got off the Metro and caught the shuttle over to the hotel, looking around conspicuously to see if anyone was following us. He didn't say anything until we got off the elevator. “Are you like gonna break up with me?”

“Why would I break up with you?” I asked as I opened the door to the hotel room.

“Because I'm a crappy lover,” he said sadly. A tear fell down his cheek. I led him over to the bed and sat down with him, holding his hand.

I made him look me in the eye. “Wade, I love you, I really really love you.”

“I love you too,” he said.

“But you are a crappy lover. You weren't before Thanksgiving, but you are now,” I said. “And I know why.”

“What do you mean you know why? What the fuck are you talking about?” He was starting to panic, to lose it.

“I brought my camcorder into your room last night to tape us fucking. I thought it would be kind of fun,” I said.

“Dude, you can't do that. What if someone found the video? We'd be so busted. What the fuck were you thinking?” he demanded. He must have blocked the whole thing out, the whole thing with his father. Either that or he wasn't going to admit it.

“Alright, but don't you want to watch it first?” I asked. He looked at me nervously. I had the tape right at the point where his father told him that he would go fuck Beau if Wade wouldn’t put out, so I popped it in. I had positioned myself standing up, between him and the door, because I knew as soon as it started playing he'd try to run.

I hit the play button and his mouth dropped open. I expected him to run, to flee, but he just sat there, stunned. He watched as his father gave him the bullshit ultimatum, he watched as his father pulled out his dick and rammed it into him, and he watched his own expression as his father fucked him. It was enough, probably more than enough, so I stopped the tape.

He stared at me, and I watched him, knowing he was poised and ready, and then he jumped up and tried to charge past me. He was strong, but I was bigger. “Let me go you fucker, or I'll kick your fucking ass,” he yelled. He took a swing at me and missed. He swung again and I ducked to avoid it, then while I was crouched down I used that position to jump up and tackle him, knocking him back onto the bed. I had his arms pinned down, while he groaned and struggled mightily to get away. “Let me go!”

“Nope. I'm not letting you go. No way. Not now. Not ever,” I said as calmly as I could, despite the fact that I was panting and struggling to keep him pinned. I saw an opportunity and I leaned in and kissed him. I was kind of worried that he'd try to bite my lips or something; he was pretty crazed, but he didn't. He kept struggling, kept fighting me, but then his lips started to respond and I felt the life, the fight, completely go out of him. I'd anticipated that he'd try to flee; I'd anticipated that he'd try to fight, and I'd anticipated the next phase too. He totally and completely broke down.

I rolled over onto my back and pulled him to me, holding him tightly. He nuzzled his face into my neck in that way that I loved, and I moved my face to the side to squeeze it against the side of his face and to kiss his ear. I kept murmuring ‘I love you’ and ‘it will be OK now’ over and over again. The clock was in my line of sight so I could see the time. He sobbed like that, in near hysteria, for a full hour before he finally calmed down. Then he collapsed, just lying there listless, for another 45 minutes.

“I'm so ashamed,” he said. “I can't even bear to look at you.”

“Baby, there's nothing for you to be ashamed of. Not one fucking thing,” I said firmly.

“I let my father fuck me. That's fucking gross,” he said.

“No, he raped you. He fucking molested you. You were protecting your little brother. Dude, that's fucking noble.” He looked at me, digesting my words like a starving man eats a loaf of bread. “How long has this been going on?”

“Since I was twelve,” he said.

“Well it's over now,” I told him firmly. “This bullshit ends now.”

“You don’t understand. He'll go after Beau. I caught him heading toward his room right before summer ended,” he said.

“Did he ever try anything with Beau?” I asked.

“I don't think so,” Wade said.

“We have to ask him,” I told him.

“I can't do that,” Wade said. “I can't.”

“You have to. You have to tell him. You have to show him the tape,” I said.

“No, no fucking way. I can't do that. No fucking way,” he said, shaking his head violently.

“You want me to do it? You want me to show him? I will, if you want me to,” I said. “But he has to see it, he has to know.”

“Why?”

“Because your piece of shit father may try the same bullshit on him. What if he goes up and tells Beau that he'll fuck you if Beau won't put out? You think Beau's gonna say ‘fine, go fuck him’?” He looked at me. “He has to know.”

He pulled back and stared at me, truly horrified now, as he realized that it was entirely possible that his father was already doing the same shit to Beau he was doing to Wade. “I don't know if I can stand to tell him.”

“I'll do it,” I told him. “But not until tomorrow.”

“Why tomorrow?” he asked.

“Because I've arranged for copies of the tape to be stored safely as of tomorrow morning.”

“You made copies?” he asked, stunned. “You have to destroy them. This can't get out. Promise me they won't get out. It would ruin my family, not just now, but for generations.”

“Then your father had better clean up his act,” I said firmly.

“You're going to tell him about them? You don’t know who you're dealing with. He's got power like you won't believe,” Wade said.

“And he won't want to jeopardize that, now will he? He fucks with me, he fucks with you, he fucks with Beau, and he's outed as a child rapist. It’s just that simple,” I told him.

“I can't do that to him,” Wade said.

“I know. That's why you're in this fucking mess. But I can, and I will, and I'm the one with the tapes. So all the bullshit he can pull with you and Beau won't work with me,” I said.

“You can't do this,” he said again.

“Yeah Wade, I can. We're going to go back to your house tomorrow and we're going to sit down with Beau. I'm going to show him the video, and then we're going to talk to him. After he's done freaking out, we're going to march in and see your dad and tell him this bullshit stops now.”

“You won't leave the compound alive,” Wade said.

“He wouldn’t dare hurt me. If he does, that tape will be released and he'll be ruined,” I said. “And they'd know exactly who did me in.”

He looked at me then resumed his position on my shoulder. I wasn’t sure if he was sleeping or not. Then he pushed himself up to look at me again, this time with his intent and determined expression. “I think it will work.”

I smiled. “Of course it will.”

“I thought you weren't any good at politics,” he teased. He leaned in and kissed me. “To not have to deal with this, with him trying to fuck me, it will be like a thousand tons was taken off my shoulders.”

“Tomorrow,” I said.

“I'm so sorry Matt. I'm really sorry I've been such a bum lay. You made me feel things that were unbelievable, and then I came back here and he did that to me and it was horrible. I couldn't zone him out.”

“I know. It's cool. And when this is over, will you open up again? Will you let me in?”

He smiled. “Yeah, I will.”

“So I have a question for you,” I said. “You've been really worried about people knowing we're a couple, that you're gay. Why?”

“I was afraid they'd cut me off, that I'd be isolated. I was worried they'd keep me away from Beau, and then he'd be vulnerable. I couldn't let that happen,” he said earnestly.

“So now that we solve that problem, now that we convince your father to not be an asshole, what's the risk?” I asked.

“You want me to come out?” he asked, concerned.

“Not unless you want to,” I told him. “I'm not trying to pressure you. It's your decision. But it just seems like you may have the option in the future, if you want to.”

He pondered that. “I think I need to focus on keeping him from fucking me and my brother first.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I agreed. And then we stripped off our clothes and went to bed. We didn't have sex, didn't even jack off, we just held each other. And it was magical.

December 18, 1998

My cell phone rang and it woke me up. We'd been so emotionally exhausted we'd slept until damn near noon. “Hello,” I said groggily.

“Matt, it’s JP. I have the package and it's stored safely. Brad has the other copy.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“We've seen what's in the package. What are you going to do?” he asked. My first instinct was not to tell him, but then I remembered how good he was in these situations.

“We're going to show the tape to Beau and explain things to him, and then we're going to meet with Senator Sleazeball.” Wade giggled at my reference to his father.

“And then what?” he asked. I looked at the phone. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I felt like an idiot.

“I don't know,” I told him. I suddenly felt very young and immature, playing a game that was probably way out of my league.

“Let me propose a course of action,” he said. I put the phone in between Wade and I, so he could hear the conversation. “After you explain things to his father, the three of you can get in a car and head to Reagan National. Stef’s plane will pick you up and you can spend your holidays here with us. Beau is just a little younger than Darius, so he'll have someone to hang out with.”

“What if Beau doesn't want to go?” Wade asked.

“Well that's his decision. At least he'll know the risks, and the situation, so he should be just fine. What about you two?” JP asked.

“We're fucking out of here,” Wade said.

“When will you talk to your father?” JP asked.

“He'll be home late this afternoon. There's a big party tonight and he'll need to get ready. I'm thinking we can see him before dinner, at around 6:30,” Wade said.

“We'll have a car there to pick you up by 7:00,” JP said, then hung up.

“Looks like we'd better get back and have that talk with Beau,” I said. He nodded. We cuddled for a while and then took a shower and checked out. After getting some food to fortify us, we took a cab back to the compound for our big showdown.