Bloodlines - 36. Chapter 36

Thanksgiving, 1998

“Ahh!” I heard myself cry as I shot yet another load all over myself. Lou was right behind me, starting his orgasm as soon as I finished mine, and that was cool since that meant I could watch him while he blew, and focus on him. He was such a magnificent looking man. He wasn't muscular, he was just perfectly proportioned. I thought of all those anatomy posters they'd had in high school, showing cutaways of the male body. He was like a slightly thinner version of that guy. After he came he collapsed next to me and gave me a really loving kiss.

“You spent the night,” I said. “Thanks.” We'd woken up in the middle of the night and fucked again, and I figured after that he'd leave and go back to his room for sure, but he didn't. He'd just pulled me back into an embrace and drifted off to sleep with me. I'd half-expected he'd sneak out even after that, yet here he was.

“It was my pleasure,” he said. “You are very cute when you sleep.”

“Only when I sleep?” I teased.

“Yes, because then you are not talking,” he shot back. I laughed. There was a loud knock on the door.

“Matt! Are you awake yet?” I heard my father say. I looked at Lou, panicked, but he just gave me a conspiratorial grin.

“I just woke up. Give me a minute,” I said.

“Go talk to him while I hide in the closet,” Lou whispered. “It will be exciting. I have not been in the closet for a long time.” I stopped myself from laughing; otherwise my father would be suspicious. Lou strolled into the closet, his cute ass wiggling as he walked. I put on my boxers and headed to the door.

“Morning,” I said.

“Are you alone? I thought I heard voices,” he said.

“I was on the phone,” I lied.

“I thought you said you just woke up?” he asked like an interrogator.

“I did. I woke up and answered the phone. What's with the third degree?” I demanded.

“Never mind,” he said.

“Let me take a shower and I'll meet you in the kitchen.” I just wanted to get him out of my room, but he seemed determined to have a conversation.

“Your mother and I are going for a ride. We'll be back in a while. I just wanted to let you know,” he said. He kept trying to stare past me, into the room, to see if someone else was in there.

“You'll enjoy that. Have JP show you the trails. You can even ride down to the campus.”

“We won't go that far. We'll see you when we get back,” he said. I nodded and shut the door, then headed over to the closet to get Lou out. I was halfway across the room when there was another knock and the door opened. My father came in, obviously looking around. “I'm sorry; I forgot to ask you if you had any plans for today.”

It was so blatantly obvious that he was trying to see what was going on in my room that it pissed me off. I decided not to make it a big issue. “Nope, I just thought we'd hang out. I'm going to get dressed, eat some food, and work out. I figured by the time I'm finished with that, you guys will be back.”

He looked around furtively, then seemed satisfied I was alone and left. I followed him out and locked the door this time. Lou heard the click and came out of the closet giggling. “I feel like a spy,” he whispered.

I kissed him. “Thanks. I'm sorry we have to do this. I guess I need to tell them.” I felt so immature doing that, like a little boy hiding his bad activities from his parents.

“Do not tell them until you are ready. They do not seem like the kind of people who will take it well, so you must prepare yourself.” He brushed his hand across my cheek. “I must get back and see what Marcel has been up to.” He put on his clothes and snuck out. I wondered if my father had stuck around to see if someone would come walking out of my room, but I decided that if he was going to be that nosy, then he'd find out what he found out.

I snagged a couple of bananas and headed down to the gym. They had a really nice gym. It reminded me of those well-equipped places you find at really nice resort hotels. Every type of machine you'd want, plus a full set of free weights. The house was full of fitness freaks, so I thought it would be crowded. I was kind of surprised to find only one other guy there: Marcel.

“Hello,” he said in a very friendly tone. “How are you today?”

“I'm doing great,” I said, grinning, and then stopped myself when I realized I was great because I'd been with his boyfriend.

“You were with Lou last night, so that is not a surprise,” he teased. “Having sex with him is an experience you will not forget.”

“That's for sure,” I said, then got kind of nervous. “I hope you're not pissed at me about that.”

He laughed. “If I got angry at all the men Lou slept with, I would hate half the world.”

“That's cool. I can see that,” I said, laughing with him. “It's just so different from what I'm used to.”

“I used to think that to be in a relationship you had to be exclusive, monogamous, but I have learned that is not true. You can make the relationship fit who you are, and not the other way around,” he said. “It works much better that way.”

I thought about what he said. He had a really good point. I guess that's what Wade and I had done. I couldn't resist asking him about Max. “Is that why things didn't work out with you and Max?”

He cringed, showing me just how much he still loved Max. “That is one of the reasons. I love Max, I truly do. He is a wonderful man. But it was not enough to keep us together. We had different ideas about our relationship, that is true. I think we could have gotten past that, but not if we were to be thousands of miles apart. In the end, the lure of our careers was stronger than our willingness to sacrifice for each other.”

“Do you think you two will be able to be friends?” I asked. It seemed really tragic to lose someone you shared so much with.

“No, we will always be lovers. But I am hoping that he finds a man who understands that, just as Lou understands the link I have with Max.”

“If he ends up with Cody, he should be able to work that out,” I said with a smile.

“That is a big 'if' though,” Marcel said. “It is one thing to be friends and to enjoy each other. It is entirely different to live with someone and be together as a couple.”

“You were with them last night?” I asked.

“I was,” he said, grinning.

“It wasn't strange?”

He shook his head. “No. There is a great deal of love between all three of us. And we have been together enough that it is really not possible to feel left out. I could tell how much they care about each other, and I am sure they will try to be together in Malibu. It may work out, but it is not a foregone conclusion.”

“So you like threesomes?” I asked, flirting.

“Absolutely, but you are my first cousin, and that is a little close for a sexual relationship, I think.” He was smiling at me, and I knew if I really wanted him, he'd hop in bed with me. Somehow, though, it seemed like it was better this way. Still, I couldn't resist peeling one of my bananas and deep-throating it while I winked at him.

After my workout, shower, and food, I ended up in the television room with most of the guys. We were watching football, and it was fun to see my father and Robbie really find something to bond over. Robbie totally got into the game, yelling at the television, and my father liked to do that too. Mummy spent her time hanging out with Isidore and Claire. Football was just a bit too vulgar for her. We ended up watching Detroit beat Pittsburgh 19 to 16 in overtime.

I love the smell of turkey, and they'd cooked enough of it that the smell seemed to pervade the entire house. I was practically starving by the time we filed into the dining room to eat. We sat in the same places, with my parents across from me. Cole was next to my father, while Jeanine sat next to Mummy. I saw my parents make a conspicuous point to pray before they started eating with the rest of us. Whatever. There was food spread out on the table so we really didn't have to pass things around too much, which was nice. We could eat without constantly being interrupted to pass some vital dish or condiment. I'd just finished filling my plate and started to eat when I felt a cloud of tension envelop the room. And most of the tension was coming from Cody. Jack elbowed me meaningfully and gestured toward the door. I looked around and saw Brian walking into the room.

“Happy Thanksgiving everyone,” he said cheerfully. “Am I too late to join you?” He seemed oblivious to the dirty looks he got from Brad. Either that or he didn't care. Isidore looked at JP, and then jumped into action.

“Of course Brian! How wonderful that you could join us,” she said gracefully. “Here, let us make a place for you.”

“There's room right here,” he said, and grabbed a chair to squeeze in between Jeanine and Mummy so he was right across from Cody. I reached over and gently grabbed Cody's thigh, trying to reassure him. “So how have you been Cody?”

“I'm doing just fine Brian. How about you?” Cody asked. Cody was pretending to be cheerful, but even then it was clear he didn't give a shit how Brian was.

“I'm enjoying my time in our house,” Brian said. I shoveled food into my mouth, more to ease my tension than to sate my hunger. “I figured I might as well since the rent is only paid through the end of the year.”

“I'm glad you like it. The views are really spectacular,” Cody said, and focused on eating as well. They brought Brian a plate and silverware, but he didn't take anything to eat. Mummy observed all of this carefully, enjoying the drama.

“So have you found a new job yet?” Jack asked.

“No, but my previous employer was generous with my severance package, so I have some time,” he said.

I looked at Stef and saw his eyes twitch in irritation at being referred to so dismissively. “It is a good thing he did, since he certainly would not give you a good reference,” Stef said in that cold, businessman's voice that was almost scarier than JP's cool and emotionless voice. Brian pretended not to care and finally started to help himself to some food.

“Well that's quite helpful,” Mummy said nicely, trying to smooth over the tension. “What kind of job are you looking for?”

“I think I'll try to be someone's pool boy,” he said, winking at Jack. Mummy smiled, a smile of horror. It was funny to see her try and move as physically far away from this idiot as she could without being too obvious.

“Brian, can I see you in my study?” JP asked.

“Certainly JP. Just let me finish eating first,” Brian said with feigned courtesy. We sat there quietly, eating. No one said anything, and the tension was reaching really unpleasant levels. JP was getting really pissed off at having his Thanksgiving dinner all but ruined.

“There will be plenty of food left when we're finished,” JP said coolly.

“A few more bites, JP,” he said smiling. Then he looked right at me and Cody. “So are you two a couple now?”

“What?” Mummy managed to ask. I felt my world start to implode, falling in on me.

“Oh, you didn't know that Matt and Cody were dating?” Brian asked with apparent innocence. “I figured he'd tell you. They were pretty serious.” I couldn't even look at them; I just looked down, until I heard a fork crash to the floor. I looked up to see my father staring at me, completely shocked. Brian timed it perfectly. Right before everyone went apeshit, he looked straight at Mummy. “I'm sorry. I assumed you knew that Matt is gay.”

There was a commotion a few places down the table as Brad jumped out of his chair, knocking it back, and then started charging toward Brian. “You son of a bitch,” Brad said loudly. Robbie restrained him, but Claire jumped in to seal the deal.

“Bradley, violence is inappropriate,” she said coldly. “Besides, Brian has just proven that he has no place here. Outing Matt like that is something that is completely and totally unacceptable. Don't waste your time or effort on him. He's not worth it.” Everyone seemed surprised that Claire would step in and intervene so assertively, and I was surprised that it worked. Brad went back and picked up his chair and sat down. Claire had recognized that the real drama was now in my world, and Brian was just the catalyst.

“Is this true?” Mummy asked. I looked up and saw the disappointment and sadness in her eyes and it ripped me up. I wanted to speak but I couldn't. I felt like I was drowning, like I was physically sinking into my chair. I yearned for that, yearned to slide under the table and hide from the looks they gave me. I barely managed to nod.

I glanced at my father just enough to see the rage on his face, not at me, but at the people around this table. I knew where he'd take this. He'd blame my gayness on these people, thinking that they'd lured me into this deviant lifestyle, and that I was merely a victim. I was trying to think of a way to handle this, but my mouth and my mind refused to work. I felt like my brain was short-circuiting. And no one seemed to be able to say anything to save me, not that they didn't want to, they just didn't know how to.

Help came from the place I least expected it, from Cole. He stood up, his huge size and bulk commanding our attention. That and the fact that he never said much. I looked at him, wondering what he was doing. He barely had the courage to speak to one person, must less this whole crowd. “I want to say something.”

“Go ahead Cole,” JP said reassuringly.

“A few weeks ago, I was at the end of my rope. I let my parents convince me I was a worthless person, and then I let myself get manipulated by a stupid cunt.” Everyone ignored his language. “I betrayed my best friend, hurt him badly, both physically and emotionally.” He paused to collect his thoughts, tears pouring down his face. “I convinced myself that I didn't deserve to live, that I wasn't fit to exist on this planet. I decided to kill myself. I got all my things in order, wrote letters to everyone, and then hung myself from the ceiling of my dorm room with this belt.” He pointed to the belt he was wearing.

He had everyone's attention now. “I hung there, strangling, hoping it would end soon, the air slowly being choked from my body. Then the door flew open and there was Matt, with my roommate. Matt held me up while Cramer got me down. Matt knew me so well, knew me well enough to figure out what I was doing. What's more, even though I'd treated him so shitty, he ran like a gazelle to make it back to the dorms in time to save my life.”

He zeroed his gaze on me, locking our eyes. “You saved my life. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here today. I owe you everything.” He looked down at my father even though he was talking to me. “I don't care if you're gay or not, all I know is that you're the best person I ever met in my life. I'm glad you're my friend, and I love you.”

“I love you too Cole. You're my best friend. It's kind of a shame you're straight,” I teased, adding that so my parents wouldn't think we were a couple.

My father wasn't mollified at all. “No one is debating whether or not Matt is a good person. What I'm confused about is why he's suddenly become a homosexual.”

Cole didn't have an impact on him, but he did on me. He'd jump-started me, brought me out of my haze. “I didn't just become a homosexual. I am a homosexual.”

“You weren't gay when you were in Ohio,” he said, and that sounded ridiculous, even to me.

“Yeah, I was. You remember Cam Heely, the guy I'm supposed to pray for? He and I were a couple.” I watched that hit them like a rock.

“It's your environment. You're here, surrounded by all of these gay men, and it just seems like a lifestyle you should adopt,” Mummy said.

“Yet I have been around here for almost 20 years now,” Jack said. “I've been told I'm a pretty handsome guy. I've never once had a homosexual experience. I'm as straight as they come. How do you explain that?”

Brian just sat there, enjoying my misery, with a smarmy little grin on his face. I longed to jump across the table and beat the shit out of him, but the battle at hand was with my parents, and the question was whether or not they would accept me for who I am.

“I fail to see how this involves you, and how your situation is at all relevant,” Mummy said, incredibly irritated.

“It involves all of us because Matt is part of our family too. And it is relevant because Jack presents a very good rebuttal to your outmoded argument that homosexuality is a chosen lifestyle. It is not contagious,” JP said coolly. That was his voice, his scary voice.

“There is no evidence to prove that,” my father said. He was clearly flustered.

JP was not. “Well let's look at the anecdotal evidence before us, shall we doctor? Robbie's uncle was gay, and so is he. Brad's uncle is gay, and so is he. I am gay, and my less-than-reputable half-brother is as well. Robbie is gay, and so is his son.” He paused for effect. “At the same time, you have men here who are not gay, who have not been lured into a life of homosexuality, despite the attractive men around them. Jack is one, Frank is another, and so is Ace.”

“As you said, that's anecdotal, not empirical,” my father snapped. I could tell he was irritated at having to defend his opinions with facts. He was used to being listened to and obeyed.

“I am curious,” Claire said gently, in her refined manner. “Matt says he's gay, he's clearly had at least two relationships with other men, yet you claim he is not. You're saying you know his sexual habits and proclivities better than he does?”

“There are some basic tenets that are important to us. The most important is our belief in God, and our commitment to our faith,” he said, proudly spouting dogma. “And by those standards, according to the bible, homosexuality is a sin.”

“That's the biggest crock of shit I ever heard,” Frank boomed. That shocked the hell out of all of us. Frank rarely talked, and never yelled. “My ex-wife tried to throw that crap at Robbie, and because I still loved her at some level, I was willing to consider her arguments. You know what I found? I found that there are six verses that can possibly be interpreted to condemn homosexuality, but to do that you really have to stretch and warp those verses to make them fit.”

“Your interpretation and those of esteemed theologians are different,” my father said, more of a sneer, dismissing Frank. I saw him really get pissed off.

“Oh yeah? Well if it was such a big deal, how come Jesus never said anything about it? How come none of the Jewish prophets so much as mentioned it? Don't you think they would have?” he asked rudely.

“You obviously don't accept the bible as the true word of God, and we do,” Mummy said dismissively.

“The bible also sanctions slavery and proclaims that women are the property of their husbands. Are those doctrines you adhere to as well?” Claire asked sweetly.

“You have skewed things to justify your own way of life,” my father said.

“No, I haven't. I'm not a lesbian,” Claire said. “In fact, you're throwing out dogma, not facts, and you act like we should all believe it. I don't.”

“We're entitled to our beliefs, and you're entitled to yours,” Mummy snapped, clearly starting to lose her normally cool veneer.

“Well before you go writing all these people off,” Frank said, “ask yourself how charitable you've been. I've watched this family help countless people. Hell, they even let a little dirt bag from Appalachia into our lives.” Brian's eyes glowed with anger at that, while everyone else tried not to giggle.

My father wasn't going to let Frank distract him. “You're trying to tell us that this lifestyle he's chosen isn't deviant behavior. That it's normal, natural, and acceptable. Well that's simply not the case,” he said loudly.

“I'm not telling you that at all,” Frank yelled even louder. “I'm telling the two of you that you're a couple of God damn bigots.” They gasped, while I tried not to laugh. This whole conversation had flown all around me, with my family here backing me up and my parents condemning me.

“I'm not going to sit here and be insulted, and I'm not going to debate this issue with you people. You are all clearly too biased to have a civilized conversation,” my father said. He turned to me. “We think you should come home with us.”

“I'm staying here. I love Stanford. I'm doing well in school and at hockey,” I said defiantly. I'd never been so sure of a decision in my life.

“Some things are more important,” he said.

“Why would I want to go back to Ohio and pretend to be something I'm not?” I asked.

“We're going to go pack. When we're done, we're leaving. If you want to be part of our family, if you want our help to change, you can come with us. If not, you can stay here,” he said.

“We love you Matt,” Mummy said. “We just want what's best for you.”

I stared at them, stunned. In other words, either I went with them, or they were writing me off. It was just that simple. I looked around the table at all the people there. These people loved me for who I was, gay or not. My parents loved me for the image I projected. It was shallow and offensive. “I'll take you to the airport,” I said. They stood up in a huff and stormed off.

Brian had been sitting there, enjoying the drama he'd created, but now that all eyes focused on him, he seemed to fade just a little bit.

“I am 62 years old now, but never in my life have I been as disappointed in someone as I am in you,” JP said to Brian.

For any of us at the table, that would have been a death blow, a gut punch that would be hard to recover from. Not for Brian. “Like I give a shit,” he said.

“You have attacked a member of our family, and you have forfeited your place among us,” JP said coolly.

“That's bullshit. You're just taking his side like you've done from day one.” He glared at me, true hatred in his eyes. “You let him come in and ruin my life. You didn't love me.”

“Give me a fucking break,” Brad said. “If it wasn't for JP, you'd have been run out of here a long time ago. You're scum. Anyone at this table want to stick up for Brian? Anyone here think he isn't a worthless piece of shit?” No one said anything.

Brian just sat there, staring at everyone like he didn't care, like he was an island. “I could give a shit what you people think.”

Stef looked at him sternly. “In a few seconds you will be leaving this house for good. I want you to understand what you have done. Outing Matt like that was one of the most reprehensible things I have ever seen. And that convinces me that you are not trustworthy, and that you are so dishonest you are dangerous.” He had that cold business voice, only it was ratcheted up with rage. I looked sideways at Jack and he looked at me as if to say ‘wow’. “So you will walk out this door and try to find some gainful employment, but it will be difficult. In fact, I think it will be almost impossible in California. And then as you crawl back east, to the backwater hollows of Appalachia where you came from, you may discover that my reach is much farther than you ever dreamed.”

For the first time, Brian actually looked scared. Before he could say anything, JP intervened. “Brian, you will leave this house now,” JP said firmly.

He got his mojo back. “No problem JP. My work here is done,” he said and gave me a smarmy grin. He got up and sauntered out of the room and out the front door, while Brad stood there fuming, clearly wanting to go kick his ass.

My parents materialized at the entrance to the Great Hall with their luggage and glared at me. I got up and walked out, checking my pockets to make sure I had my keys and my cell phone. We got into the GMC and no one said anything as we rode toward the gates of Escorial. I saw Brian walking ahead, right next to a puddle.

“Stop and pick that man up,” my father ordered. “He's the only one there who was honest with us.”

“When hell freezes over,” I said, and drove through the puddle, splashing muddy water all over Brian. My father glared at me but I was almost beyond caring.

“You weren't gay before you came out here and you were surrounded by all of these homosexuals,” he said, repeating the same arguments all over again.

“You're just being misled. They've corrupted you,” Mummy said supportively, loyally backing up her husband.

“I was gay before I got here,” I said. “How else do you explain my relationship with Cam Heely?”

“So he started the process? He was the one who corrupted you?” my father demanded furiously.

“No, I corrupted him,” I said. “You make it sound like this is something I've chosen, that I want to be attracted to men. It's not. It's who I am.”

“Nonsense,” Mummy said. “You dated lots of girls. Rumor has it you even had sex with them.” How did she know that?

This had suddenly got even more embarrassing. “I like to have sex with women, but I'm much more attracted to men,” I said simply.

“So why can't you fight those urges and find a nice girl to love?” Mummy asked.

“Because the urges are too strong. They don't go away, and they won't let me push them aside.”

“You're only 18,” my father said. “This is just a phase. You'll work this out of your system, and then you'll find a girl who is so perfect she'll remind you that you're a man.”

That pissed me off. “I'm no less of a man because I like to have sex with other men,” I spat. “And this isn't a phase. But you can think what you want. I am who I am.”

I heard my father suck in his breath. He didn't put up with being contradicted so directly. Mummy intervened to calm the situation. “Matt, we love you. We want to help you.”

“I love you too. But this is who I am. I can't change. I don't want to change. I like who I am. I have good friends.” I almost told them I had a boyfriend that I loved, but that would threaten to put Wade in the same position I was in.

“How can you like being gay?” my father demanded. “It's a deviant lifestyle, and it's a sin.”

“You're not even listening to me. I tell you what I am, how I think, how I feel, and you tell me that I'm wrong and judge me. It's my mind and my body. I know me. So don't tell me what I like and don't like,” I said, pissed off.

“And you're not listening to me. I'm telling you that this is wrong, and that we're here and ready to help you when you want to change,” my father said. There was a long pause, where no one said anything.

“We're staying at the Hilton tonight,” Mummy said.

They didn't say anything as I drove them to the hotel. The next ten minutes were horrible, with complete silence. The last ten minutes were just as bad, as they began to talk about their travel plans, and how they'd managed to score a room at this late date and time. Neither one of them bothered to talk to me.

I pulled up in front of the Hilton and hopped out to help them with their bags. My father took his bag, and Mummy took hers. “We are there for you when you want to try and get help,” he said. Then they walked off, not a hug, not even a handshake, nothing. I got in the GMC and drove off as fast as I could. My hands were shaking, and the tears were pouring down my face, but that was nothing compared to the hollow feeling inside. The people who had loved me for the past 18 years didn't. Not anymore.

I pulled out my cell phone and called Wade, the person I needed the most right now. “Hey!” he said cheerfully. “How are you doing?” Hearing his voice was such a tonic.

“Shitty.” My voice cracked. “Brian showed up for dinner and outed me to my parents.”

“Fuck! You're kidding? Are you OK?” he asked. I smiled. He was worried about me, and not about being outed himself.

“I'm better now that I'm talking to you. They're going back to Ohio. I just left them at the airport hotel”

“So they didn't take it very well?” he asked.

“No. They didn't. When they left, they didn't say anything. No hug, no handshake, nothing.”

“I'm really sorry, Matt. I really am. You know I love you, right?”

I felt myself smile. “I know. I love you too.” There were voices in the background and he got distracted.

“I have to run. Call me later, OK?”

“Yeah. I can't wait until you get back,” I said.

“Me too. I can't wait to get the fuck out of here. But I gotta go. Later.”

“Later,” I said sadly.

I stopped and bought a monster Pepsi at a gas station, then smoked a joint while I drove back to Escorial. I tried to call Wade back but he didn't answer. I guess he was busy with his family. No wonder he was so paranoid. No wonder he didn't want to go through this. I drove around aimlessly for a couple of hours, feeling alone. Then I finally headed back to Escorial.

I sighed and walked into the house, hoping to escape back to my room, but it was not to be. Robbie intercepted me right away; clearly he'd been waiting for me to get back.

“I'm sorry Matt,” he said. “I really am.” He walked up to me and pulled me into one of his hugs, and I just sank into him and started bawling like a fucking baby. “You're part of our family, even if you're not part of theirs.”

I pulled myself together. “Thanks. This would be so much fucking harder if I didn't have you in my life.” He smiled at me and hugged me again, and then we headed inside together.

“Matthew,” I heard. It was JP. “Do you have a minute?” He must have been waiting too.

“Sure,” I said, giving him a fake grin. I followed him into his study and was really surprised to find it filled with people. “What's going on?”

“We just wanted to tell you, as a group, that you are part of our family, and that we love you,” JP said. I looked around to see Ace and Cass, Jack and Claire, Isidore and Frank, Brad, Stef, and Marcel, all standing there smiling at me. Robbie came in behind me to complete the picture. All of the family members had come together to tell me this, to make sure I knew I was part of them. I felt more tears.

“Thank you. If it weren't for you guys, this would be a pretty lonely time,” I said. Then each of them gave me hug and told me that they loved me, until I was left in the room with JP, Stef, Brad, and Robbie. It was a really touching gesture.

“I should have killed him, just picked him up and ripped him in half,” Brad said. He was really pissed off. “I can't believe he did that.”

“I expected no less,” Stef said disdainfully.

“I saw Brian walking down the drive when I left. He was next to a puddle and I kind of drove through it. I think he might have gotten wet,” I said with an evil grin. Everyone laughed at that. The laughter died down and I sighed. “I guess it had to happen eventually. But at Thanksgiving dinner, in front of everyone, that was really not how I had planned to do it,” I said somberly.

“Maybe they'll come around,” Robbie said hopefully.

Then I heard myself blurting out words. “They told me that they loved me and they'd be there for me when I wanted to change. When they left, they didn't hug me, didn't even shake my hand.”

“That is really too bad,” Stef said sincerely.

“I can see where Wade is coming from, why he's so paranoid. Going through this, I can't imagine what it would be like for him,” I said. “I need to go thank Cole.” More hugs, more tears, and I was finally free to head down to his room.

Or so I thought. Jeanine caught me in the hallway and wrapped me in a big hug, the first time she had shown me any real affection. “I'm sorry that I wasn’t here when you got back. I was trying to get the boys to go to bed. They wanted to wait up for you. They were pretty angry about the way you were treated at dinner.”

I hugged her back warmly, glad that there was at least one woman in my life that was willing to show some physical warmth. “I'm sorry that they had to experience that.”

“You shouldn't be sorry, it wasn't your fault. Besides, they've been exposed to some interesting situations. There's never a dull moment in this family,” she said, laughing. She had a beautiful laugh, one that not only sounded good, but made her look hot too. No wonder Brad had fucked her.

“Yeah, well it's still a pretty crappy way to celebrate Thanksgiving,” I said, feeling guilty that I'd ruined the holiday for everyone.

“I have to disagree. I think it was a good lesson for them, and isn't Thanksgiving about being thankful for those around you? My sons got to hear about Cole, and how he would have died if you wouldn't have been quick of mind and body,” she said with an approving look. “And just having you in their lives has made a huge difference. That's something we're all thankful for.”

Fuck. I felt more tears flowing as her words and her kind manner hit and soothed the wound that Mummy's rejection had gouged into my heart. “I feel bad that I don't spend more time with them. It's hard to imagine that I've made much of a difference in their lives, well, except for maybe JJ.”

“You certainly have made a difference there. This passion for skating has motivated him like nothing before. He's seen Darius take on sports and do well, and he's seen Will hit the waves with Brad and surf like a pro, but he's never been physically successful until now. It really warms my heart to see the bounce in his step with this new-found pride.” She moved her hand up and lovingly wiped the tears away from my eyes. “But you've been great for Darius and Will too. Darius won’t admit it, but he all but worships you. The way you and your friend just pulled him into your circle after that hockey game was really a big deal to him. But here's the funniest thing,” she said, looking around like we were conspirators. “I heard him on the phone talking to some girls and he was trying to flirt with them like you flirt with Tiffany.”

We both laughed at that. “Well I haven't slept with her yet, so hopefully his luck will be better.” Then I realized I was talking to his mom and kind of freaked out until she just laughed harder.

“It's OK Matt. Darius has a healthy libido. And he's gotten the talk about sex from all three of his parents now, so we'll have to hope he listened.”

“Will is so much like Brad, it's almost a little freaky,” I said.

“That's pretty funny, coming from you,” she said. I looked at her, confused. “You're a lot like him too.” She paused to let me digest that. “Will really idolizes Brad, more than the other two boys, but he sees the similarities between the two of you as well. You give him an in-between model. You're not as old and stuffy as Brad.” That really made me laugh.

“I never had brothers, but they're pretty cool. I'll have to try and hang around with them more,” I said. She nodded and gave me another hug.

“You have a family here that loves you very much. I hope you take the time to be thankful for that, instead of worrying about the people who shunned you.”

“Thanks Jeanine. That's some good advice.” She smiled and headed back to her world. I wondered if she ever got laid. I shrugged that off and wandered down to Cole's room.

I found Cole just where I thought I would. At his desk, scrawling out calculations. He was so engrossed in them he didn't hear me come in. I put my hand on his shoulder and he jumped. “Oh hey,” he said. “I didn't hear you come in.”

“Yeah, you're pretty absorbed,” I joked. “Thanks for what you said tonight. I was drowning there, and you saved me.”

He smiled and gave me a big hug. “That's what friends are for.” I smiled back at him. He'd sure gone way beyond ten sentences tonight.

I finally got back to my room, anxious to find some solitude, but it was not to be. Lou was there, waiting for me.

“I figured that after a night like that, more than a hug, you could use a good fuck,” he said.

I just started laughing. What a cool guy. “Yeah Lou, that's exactly what I need, and you're just the guy to give it to me.”

“I most certainly am,” he said.