Bloodlines - 18. Chapter 18

September 16, 1998

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this shit with my kidneys,” I said as we lay on our backs in our respective twin beds. “I guess I'm trying not to think about it, like if I don't focus on it it will go away.”

“What happened?” Cole asked simply.

“I got Strep throat and didn't know it. There's a rare disease where the Strep infects the kidneys and makes them stop working. That's what's going to happen to me,” I said.

“So how do you fix it?”

“You go on dialysis or get a transplant. Robbie is a donor match, so maybe over Christmas break, or this summer, if I can make it till then, I'll get a transplant.” I felt all the anguish, all the hell I'd dealt with on this issue surging back. “If I get sick, I can go on dialysis in the meantime.”

“How will you know if you're sick? How will I know?” he asked.

“Well, it's kind of hard to tell. The symptoms include nausea and puking. My skin could get dark, so if I start looking like a Mexican, let me know.” I paused to let him chuckle. “Fatigue, you can get really tired. Muscle cramps, stuff like that. And my pee can change colors or get all foamy,” I said, hitting on the big symptoms.

He rolled onto his side facing me. “If you need help, let me know. I'll watch out for you.” Normally it would piss me off to have someone treat me like an invalid that needed help, but his eyes and voice told me how sincere he was. It was touching.

Time for some levity. “Well, you could hold my dick while I'm peeing,” I said without laughing. “That way you can check to see if my urine is alright.”

“OK,” he said. Only he wasn't joking.

“I was teasing, Cole. I know you'll be there for me, in my corner, that's why I'm pissed that I didn't tell you.”

“I'm just saying that if it that's what you need me to do, I'll do it,” he said.

“Thanks dude. You can hold my dick any time you want to though.” He laughed at that, and then blushed.

“You'd try to stick that thing up my ass,” he joked, cracking me up.

“Actually, it's the other way around,” I said. I saw him swallow hard as he digested that, and saw his boxers tent just a little bit. He'd really given me no indication that he was gay or bisexual, but at the same time sex with a guy didn't seem to turn him off. Could I get in his pants? Did I want to? The answers were maybe and yes. He rolled back onto his back but I stayed on my side, just staring at him. What an awesome guy he was. Such a big teddy bear. I'd never encountered a guy like him so far, someone so open and caring. Well, actually I had, I corrected myself. He was a lot like Robbie.

“Do you actually do that? Let another guy fuck you?” he asked. He was nervous and curious at the same time.

“Fuck yeah! It feels amazing,” I said.

“Seems like it would hurt.” He must not be grossed out by it; otherwise he'd have dropped the subject.

“Yeah, it does at first, especially the first few times you do it. But when it hits your prostate, man, that's a new kind of pleasure,” I said wistfully. I adjusted my hard cock to hide it as best I could in my boxers. We just lay there, neither one of us saying anything. “Look, Cole, you know I like to have sex with guys, and you know I like you. You're the best friend I have here. Maybe anywhere. So you ever want me to show you how that works, I will, OK?”

“You mean if I want you to fuck me, you would?” he asked. I thought about this, about how to play it. Part of me wanted to leap over onto his bed and show him how fun man-on-man sex could be. Another part was worried about ruining our friendship.

But what I was hearing from him wasn't about friendship or homosexuality, it was about insecurity. He didn't know how adorable he was. “Hell yeah. In a fucking heartbeat. You are one fine dude,” I said, sort of joking.

He turned his head and smiled at me, his cute, shy smile. “You're full of shit.”

“No, you are. Besides, I don't have to fuck you to show you where your prostate is. I have fingers.” I extended my hand toward him and wiggled my digits, freaking him out in a playful way.

“I still think you're full of shit. Hell, you've got guys like Konrad willing to jump the line and fuck you. I'm just a fat, dumb hick.” He really had low self-esteem. It was incomprehensible to me. He was such a great guy. Where did this come from?

“I want to tell you something, but you have to promise not to freak out on me,” I said.

“OK,” he said, like I knew he would. I looked at him intently, making him turn to face me again with my eyes.

“No, you have to promise.” His word was his bond, he knew it, and I knew it.

“I promise,” he said.

“When you jack off, who do you think about, fantasize about?” I asked.

“I thought you were going to tell me something, not ask me something,” he said.

“When I jack off, I think about you,” I replied. He looked at me, his mouth wide open in surprise.

“I don't know what to say,” he said.

“You don't have to say anything. I just want you to know that you're a really handsome, really attractive guy,” I said. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't, he just looked at me, but I'd exposed enough of myself to freak him out as it was. So I said nothing too. I saw his mouth move, like he was trying to get words out, but they wouldn't budge.

“Thanks. No one's ever told me that,” he said finally.

“That's gonna change now that you're here,” I told him. “Girls will be all over you. Shit, you might get laid for real.”

He chuckled a little, and was about to say something when his phone rang. He looked at it and frowned. “My momma,” he said. He answered it and before he even said hello the woman was chattering away at him. He laid the phone down on the pillow next to his ear and lay flat on his back, then motioned me over. He scooted over to make room for me, and then put the phone in between us.

“Now you're a good boy, but you need to work real hard now that you're at that big school. Those other kids are smarter than you, so you have to work at it, really apply yourself to keep up. If you'd have gone to Lincoln it would be different. You'd probably be at the level of most of those kids. But you chose to move, so you gotta make it work,” she said, slicing away at his ego. “And hockey, you have to be faster. You always look like you're lumbering around on the ice. Pick up the pace or they'll cut you from the team. Maybe you're slow because you're fat. That's my fault, I fed you too good, but now that you're out there with all that dormitory food, I'm worried you'll balloon up into a whale. You see how bad your Uncle Bobby looks. He's big as a barn. You want to be 300 pounds like him?” And she kept on going.

I looked over at him and he had a tear in his eye, just welling up, getting ready to drop down out of his eye, down the side of his face. I turned on my side and reached over with my hand to wipe it away. He looked at me, the gratitude for a simple act of affection clearly overwhelming him. “Gotta go Momma,” he said, and closed the phone. He tossed it onto his desk, and then it was just he and I in his bed, lying on our sides facing each other. His face was maybe a foot away from me, his big green eyes boring into me. I wiped away another tear, then another tear, then another one.

“She's wrong,” I said.

“You don't know me,” he said.

“You're here. Go Cardinal!” I said, trying to cheer him up. I suddenly felt this overwhelming need to comfort him physically, so I moved up and wrapped my arms around him, giving him a big hug. He didn't respond at all, which kind of freaked me out, but then again, Cole was unpredictable, and unique. I rolled onto my back, carrying him with me, so his head was nestled next to my neck and his body was halfway on top of me. I stroked his back and ran my fingers through his hair, gestures of affection that weren't sexual in nature.

“She's right. I'm gonna have to work real hard to keep up with people here,” he said.

“Dude, we all have to work hard to do that. Don't you get it? This is the shit. There's no better school out there. Fuck Harvard and the Ivies. We're better. It's like playing in the NHL. We're competing with the very best. We have to work our asses off, and we'll make it through. You and me,” I said.

I felt his arm wrap around me, pulling me in tightly, making me feel like I was being hugged by a python. He ignored my erection. I was just glad it hadn't popped out of my boxers. I felt something graze my neck. His lips. I tensed up, my body throbbing now at receiving attention from this hunk. “I’ve never been with another guy before.”

“College is all about experimenting, trying new things,” I said, pulling his head into my neck. God, this guy was sexy. His lips felt so soft as he kissed my neck and that space behind my ear that drove me nuts.

“Show me,” he said. I moved my head sideways to face him and pulled him to me. Our mouths met, and the feeling was electric. I just enjoyed the contact, the feeling of our lips moving in sync with each other, but he fired me up too much to leave it at that for long. I pushed my tongue into his mouth and ran into his teeth. It was like they were barring the door, denying me permission to enter. I ran my tongue across his teeth and up into his gums, and that made him giggle. His mouth opened slightly and I took my chance, thrusting my tongue in, probing his mouth, forcing his tongue to engage with mine in a wrestling match. Now he got it, now he was into it. I felt a moan, a big moan, a moan that came from the depths of his psyche as he surrendered to the feeling. Now he was kissing me back just as passionately, his tongue was probing my mouth. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, pulling him on top of me, feeling his weight pinning me down, feeling completely at his mercy. I was surrendering to him.

His hips moved rhythmically as he thrust against me, his big cock rubbing against mine. I couldn't stop myself from moaning, almost screaming, he had me worked up. I felt his dick and tried to gauge its size, but gave up on that and just enjoyed him and his massive body as he hefted away. My orgasm started building, getting closer and closer, until I reached the point of no return. I wrapped my legs around him and squeezed hard, pulling in with all my strength, while I pulled his mouth down on mine so I could scream into it. Then I came, and came, and came, feeling him moving with me, bringing me off. I finished the ride, but he wasn't done yet, so I went with it, forcing my listless muscles to respond to him, only it wasn't really hard work at all. He was so cute, so affectionate, and so fun. “Cole, you are so fucking sexy. God damn, you made me blow the biggest fucking load ever,” I whispered huskily in his ear.

That did it, that set him off. I made a mental note that if I ever got to do this with him again, he liked it when I talked to him, sexy talk. But he brought my mind back to the here and now as he lost it, blasting his load into the space between us, mixing his cum with mine. He turned into an animal, almost violent, as he rammed into me, the aggressiveness of his orgasm firing me up all over again, enough to enjoy it completely and to make sure he did too. He collapsed into me afterward, completely relaxed, but only for a minute. I could feel the tension returning to his body, could feel him stiffen, and could feel his anxiety.

He almost jumped right out of the bed and rushed over to the sink and started to wash our cum off of his abdomen. He seemed almost frantically anxious to get it off, like it was some toxic chemical. I felt sad then, knowing what that meant, knowing now that I'd pushed him too hard and too fast. He'd stepped way out of his comfort zone, and now he was freaking out. He pulled off his boxers, showing me his cute ass, and rinsed them out too, as if trying to eradicate any trace of our coupling. I got out of his bed and sat on mine, waiting for him to finish up. He walked over to his bed, avoiding my eyes, and climbed in with his back to me.

I got up and cleaned the cum off, then put on clean boxers, my shorts, a polo shirt, and my flip flops. Right before I walked out the door I looked over at him and saw him looking at me, his eyes glancing at me furtively through his peripheral vision. “I'm sorry Cole. I thought it was nice. I really enjoyed you. But don't worry. It won't happen again.” He didn't say anything. “Try to work your way through this so we can still be friends,” I said, then left my room and headed out into the cool evening.

September 21, 1998

I dragged my books and my tired ass into my room and collapsed after my first day of classes. This semester was gonna be a ball-buster. I already had homework to do, lots of it, but I just wasn't into it. I looked around at the empty room that no longer felt like home. It felt like a prison, a place I was forced to sleep, a place to keep my shit, and a place to avoid. I heard the door open and then Cole came in. He looked at me and nodded, while I nodded back. If anything, he talked less than when we first met.

At first I'd felt sad and guilty about the cold shoulder, but I figured he'd get over it. Shit, it's not like I fucked him or anything. We'd just kissed and frotted. No big deal. Or it wasn't to me. To him, it was obviously a big fucking deal. The past day or two I'd felt an entirely different emotion emerging: anger. I was pissed off at him for going to a place with me sexually that he couldn't handle, and I was even more pissed off at him for taking it out on me. But what pissed me off the most was that he was making my life here in the dorms a living hell. This was supposed to be fun, but he'd sapped that fun away. Shit, I didn't even feel like partying, not that I could with all this fucking work. He sat at his desk, next to mine, and pulled out his books. I felt the anger building and building. I thought about leaving, it would be the smart thing to do, but God dammit, this was my room too.

And then I had enough. “You gonna be this way all fucking year?” I demanded as I glared at him. He ignored me, of course. “I'm talking to you asshole,” I said. He said nothing. “Fine. I'll go down to Housing and request a new roommate.” He said nothing, but I saw his face twitch.

I stood there, furious, while he ignored me. “You know, I always thought you'd be a man of your word.” I saw that hit home. He stood up then and stared at me, eyeball to eyeball. He's a big boy, but I didn't flinch. Then he turned around, grabbed his backpack, and walked out the door.

Somehow, pissing him off was liberating, and it eased my tension enough to let me focus on my work. I heard music coming from down the hall and it was like gasoline, fueling me to get my work done so I could join the party. I plowed through it, and four hours later I was finished. I followed the sounds down the hall and found it coming from Cramer and Danfield's dorm room.

“Hey Carrswold,” Danfield said. “Have a beer.”

“Don't mind if I do,” I said as I popped the top and chugged it down in one big gulp. Cramer laughed and tossed me another one. “Now I'd be rude if I didn't contribute,” I said as I tossed a joint onto the bed next to Danfield.

“Dude, you just made the party,” he said as he closed his door and lit the J. “This is some kick-ass weed.”

“Yep,” I said, and then got pissed at myself for sounding like Cole.

“How you doing with the mute?” Cramer asked.

“Least he's quiet,” I said. I didn't see the need to involve these guys in my issues with Cole.

“Cramer snores like a fucking chain saw,” Danfield said. “Fucker keeps me awake all night long.”

“No, you're awake sucking on my dick,” Cramer joked.

“You wish,” Danfield said. He grabbed another beer and tossed it to me. “So I was wondering if you wanted to swap rooms. You and I can share, and Cramer can have Lurch.”

Danfield and I got along great. We both came from good families, we both had outgoing personalities, and we both had the same friends on the team. “That may be cool. Let me talk to Cole first, OK?”

“That's cool dude. It was his idea though, so he's probably good with it,” Cramer said. I nodded, hiding my anger. So Cole had come down here and talked to them behind my back, arranging to escape from my evil fag clutches? Motherfucker! Stay calm Matt, I told myself. Don't let these guys see you freak. Play along.

“Awesome,” I lied. “I still want to clear it with him though. He's out studying or some shit. I'm kind of surprised. You guys seem to click pretty well.”

“Danfield likes the cock,” Cramer said, grabbing his crotch. Danfield threw a beer at him, which Cramer caught agilely. He cracked it open and beer exploded all over the room, but primarily on Danfield.

“Fucker,” Danfield said, wiping the beer off of his now-wet shirt and shorts. “Now you see why I want to move?”

“No,” I said honestly. They were having fun. It looked good to me. Danfield grabbed a beer, shook it, and before I knew it he'd sprayed it all over me. I jumped on him, tackling him on the bed, and took a beer and poured it down his throat. “Come on baby, swallow,” I teased, as he choked and spit half of it onto his bed. Cramer was laughing his ass off. I let Danfield up then and ran for the door before he could tackle me.

“Fucker,” Danfield said again.

“You know, seeing you swallow like that makes your offer tempting,” I teased. Then I bolted out of the room before the beer he threw at me could hit me in the head. This is what college was supposed to be about. It was supposed to be about fun, not drama. Fuck Cole. Let him move in with Cramer.

The beers and weed had mellowed me. I had too much shit to do, too much shit to deal with, without this fucking rollercoaster. I thought Cole and I would be friends, but if he couldn't handle a little fun and he was gonna be a fuckhead about it, then so be it.

I walked down to my room, but before I got there a door opened and out popped Amber Braden. I'd met her when we first moved in. She was hot, with blond highlights in brown hair, a smokin' body, and she had already done Konrad. “Hey Matt,” she said, flirting.

“Hey Amber,” I said, and leaned up against her door trying to look sexy and pulling it off. “How was your first day?”

“I have so much work,” she said. “I don't know how I'm going to get it all done.” She moved her face close to me and sniffed. “You smell like beer.”

“Yeah, Danfield decided I needed a bath,” I said.

“You smell fine to me,” she said.

“Your roommate home?” I asked, clearly suggesting she invite me in.

She looked over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. “Of course.” This was one girl who needed a single.

“Mine's not. I'm gonna change and watch some TV. You wanna join me before you study?” I asked.

“Sure, why not?” she said. We got back to my room and I shut the door and stripped off my shirt, flaunting my body. “You work out a lot?”

“Have to, for hockey,” I said. She put her hand on my bicep, then my pec, then trailed her fingers down my abdomen. I moved in and kissed her, and she responded readily.

I led her to my bed and stripped off her clothes, her bra, and her panties before dropping my own shorts and boxers to the floor. She sat on the bed and looked at my cock which was directly in her face. “You're a big boy,” she said. Then her mouth was on my dick. Damn it felt good. She didn't suck cock like the guys I'd been with, but she was way better than Ashley.

I figured that if I wanted to get laid I'd better do this right. She'd probably talk to the other girls. I kissed her, rubbing against her, letting her feel my muscles against her soft body. Then I moved my mouth down, sucking on her nipples while I kneaded her breasts. I could tell they were fake, but they were still beautiful. Then lower still, my hands and fingers beating my mouth as I probed her and played with her clit. She was soaking wet and moaning like crazy now. She had a really sensitive clit. So fucking cool.

She made to pull me up to her, to do her missionary style, but I rolled her onto her side and moved up behind her, pushing my cock into her, feeling her warm pussy envelop me. “You feel so good Amber,” I said as I moved in and out slowly, aiming my cock at her g-spot. I ran my hands up and down her body, playing with her tits one minute, squeezing a nipple the next, but spending most of my time playing with her clit while I fucked her. “You like that baby?” I cooed. “You are so sexy, so fucking sexy.” She whimpered and moaned, so much it was funny, like a porno.

We were both so into it that we didn't hear Cole come in. He stood there, and I could tell he knew he should leave, but he was engrossed in the sight. “Amber, Cole's here. Is it OK if he licks your clit while I fuck you?”

“Mm hm,” she said. I motioned him over and he knelt down by her crotch. I let him watch my fingers, showing him where her clit was, and then I grabbed his head and pulled it in. I felt his chin against my dick as he licked her. She was really losing it now, and it was so over the top it was all I could do not to laugh. Then something really amazing happened. I felt Cole's tongue on my shaft. He was licking my cock. I moved out more and more as I fucked her, feeling his tongue flick against my shaft, then the head. God, I was getting close. I pulled back and pretended like I accidentally popped out of her. When I thrust forward, my cock went right into his mouth and he sucked it readily. I gave him a few thrusts then re-entered her.

Cole stood up and took off his clothes, and for the first time I got a good look at his dick. He was a little shorter than me, close to seven inches, but really thick. It was funny; his dick looked round and pudgy just like him. “Amber, look at that big cock. You think you can take that?”

“Mm hm,” she said. Cole lay down in front of her and started kissing her. I was close, so close to blowing, so I pulled out and reached down to grab his dick and guide him into her. I felt her tense up at the massive intrusion, the extra width, but she just went with it, letting him fuck her, sandwiched in between these two hockey players. She was moaning and groaning so much that she just grabbed Cole and put her head on his shoulder. That put us face to face. He grinned at me and mouthed the word ‘sorry’. I leaned in and kissed him carefully so Amber didn't see, and I was so excited that he returned my kiss enthusiastically.

He pulled out and it was my turn. I penetrated her, and knew that I had to cum, I was going to cum. I kept stealing kisses from Cole. “Baby, baby, you're gonna make me cum,” I said, almost a yell.

She shrieked. “Me too! Me too!” Then I blew, blasting inside her. God, it felt good, so fucking good, especially having Cole there with me, having him smile at me. She was writhing, unhinged, by the time I was done. I pulled out of her and guided Cole in. I moved away and Cole pushed her on her back and plunged back into her, and the lucky girl kept on cumming. I watched Cole's cute ass as he fucked her, his grinding hip movements, and I felt overcome with lust for him.

I spread his legs a little and he obliged me willingly. Then I moved up to his balls and licked and kissed them, my nose buried in his taint, inhaling his unique smell. He had a tangy smell, kind of tart: he smelled so good. I moved my mouth up to his hole and started to rim him. I could tell by his movements, by the way he changed his rhythm, that he loved it. Then he let out a roar and started blowing into her, his little pucker opening and closing rapidly as he came.

He rolled off of her and leaned in to give her a nice kiss. I lay down on the other side and did the same thing. “You boys are fun,” she said with her killer smile.

“So are you,” I responded. “You want to take a study break, you know where to go.”

“Damn straight,” she said. “Amazingly enough, you've cleared my head. I'm off to do homework.” We watched her dress and walk out of our room, a little spring in her step that wasn't there before.

“Dude, we fucked the shit out of her,” I said, giving him a high five.

He grinned back at me. “It was awesome.” I got up and locked the door, then headed over to his bed since he was on mine. He held out his hand, asking me to join him. “I'm sorry.”

“Time for your ten sentences,” I said, injecting some humor. He grinned at me.

“You made me feel things I never felt before. Things I wasn't supposed to feel with another guy. It really freaked me out,” he said.

“I was that good eh?” I teased. I should have been pissed at him, but I'd just had an awesome threesome with another guy and a girl, and I was fucking stoked.

“I'm not talking about the physical feelings,” he said. “That was fun though.” I just looked at him. “I like you. A lot.”

I just kept staring at him, digesting his statement. I was more than a hookup to him. Was he more than just a hookup to me? Yeah, he was. I really liked him, and I needed to tell him that. “I like you too. A lot,” I said, mimicking his words.

He leaned in and kissed me, not passionately, but lovingly. “I've never felt this way about anyone before,” he said. “I want to be with you all the time. I want to touch you, to do everything with you.”

“Everything?” I asked, teasing him. I was amazed at how easy his conversation was.

“Yeah. Everything. Teach me,” he said, and kissed me again.

“Well, you lost your cherry with a chick. That's a pretty good start,” I said.

“I'm not talking about doing stuff with a chick. I'm talking about doing stuff with you,” he said.

“You sucked my dick for a little bit,” I said. He gave me that cute grin and blushed. “I liked it.”

“Me too,” he said shyly.

“And you got your first rim job,” I said. Now he was bright red. I was having a blast torturing him. “Did you like that?”

“Yeah,” he said shyly.

“Did you like having my tongue drilling into your hole?” I asked in my slutty voice, as I whispered it into his ear. He just nodded. “Baby, I'm gonna rock your world.”

“Good,” he said.

“You still want to move in with Cramer?” I asked, partially teasing, partly not. It still pissed me off, but no good would come from making an issue out of it.