Bloodlines - 23. Chapter 23

October 17, 1998

“Fucking Savarollo,” Gillespie said. “He played like a prick when he was a pee wee and he still does.” We sat in the locker room after the second period, lamenting our bruises at the hands of a really big UCLA team.

“They're goons, but we're faster,” Turner said. He had the only goal tonight, and it had tied up the game. “We have to use it and not let them tie us up against the boards.” I watched the interplay between these guys, and thought about what great leaders they were. The coach just watched and smiled, letting them tell us what we needed to do.

“Well now you fucking know the fucking secret, so go fucking do it,” the coach said, appropriately punctuating every other word with ‘fuck’. We filed back out onto the ice and started skating in circles, getting ready for the final period. I was kind of ambivalent about the whole game. I'd gotten to go out for two shifts, which wasn't shit, but at least he let me do that. I scanned the crowd as I circled, lots of Bruins fans, but Robbie, Brad, and their kids were there. And there, sitting next to JJ, was Tiffany. I looked long enough to force eye contact and just winked. Too funny.

The period started out just like the last two until Gillespie finally had enough and he and Savarollo dropped their gloves and went after each other. “What the fuck is he doing? You can't fight in college hockey!” the coach screamed. Those were the rules, but sometimes you had to just blow past them and vent. Besides, the fans loved it. Both Gillespie and Savarollo were kicked out of the game after that, conveniently heading straight to the locker room and avoiding a tirade from the coaches.

“Carrswold, you're in for Gillespie,” he said. I nodded, hiding my smile. This was our number one line. Turner, Gillespie, and a guy from Minnesota named Farrier. I skated out with them.

“Take center,” Turner said. He wanted to win this game, and he knew I was better at face-offs than him. I stood there, waiting for the puck to drop, keyed up, determined to impress my family and Tiffany. I looked up in the stands and there was another person there, sitting next to Robbie. Cody.

The puck dropped and I won the face-off, passing it back to Cole. He shot it right back up to Turner who was already flying forward on my right. I made sure I paced myself, staying onsides. I nailed their left wing, clipped him good in the side, but that just pissed me off. It was a good hit but it slowed me down. I raced to the goal just as Turner shot. It deflected off the goalie's stick and I got the rebound. I shot it toward the goalie's left shoulder but it was too low and bounced right off of him.

I got to the puck but I was being mobbed so I shuttled it out to Farrier. He caught it and sent it out to Cole. I watched Cole wind up and got out of the way: that boy had one hellatious slap shot. The puck flew past me and over the goalie's shoulder, just where I'd wanted to put it, and hit the net. The horn went off and our small cadre of fans, half of them my family members, cheered loudly. We managed to maintain our lead for the rest of the period and ended up winning the game 2-1. Cole was the big star in the locker room.

“Nice rocket, Lurch,” Farrier said.

“You guys can't make goals, the D has to do it,” said Bledsoe, Cole's partner on defense, giving us shit. We ignored him.

“You did really well,” I said to him, getting a slight grin in return. “You have to do that when Amber is around.”

“Yep,” was his response. Of course.

“You riding back with us?” Danfield asked.

“Nope. I got some family shit to finish up,” I said. We were all supposed to ride on the bus together, but I was too anxious to flirt with Tiffany and find out what Cody being here meant. “You can crash in my room though, if you want.”

“Thanks. Cramer's been fucking snoring again,” he said.

“Dude, I keep telling you to crash there. What do I have to do to convince you it's OK? Blow you?”

“You wish,” he said, smiling.

“Take my bag back for me, K?” I asked. He rolled his eyes and nodded. We all headed out to the lobby and found it packed with UCLA fans. But the game was over, and we weren't the enemy any more, we were just other college students. I spotted Robbie and ambled over to him.

“Hey!” he said and gave me one of his big hugs. Brad was next, then my brothers. Darius was really funny, standing there totally into the whole college scene. “Come on,” I said to him. I dragged him over to where most of our team was and introduced him to everyone. Danfield was awesome, his breeding and manners front and center. He took Darius under his wing and made him feel like part of the crowd. I headed back to find Tiffany.

“Where's Tiffany?” I asked JJ.

“She had to leave,” he said. Fuck. “She said to tell you that you played good but she had to wash her hair.” I laughed, I couldn't help it. While I was laughing I spotted that unmistakable blond mane of hair walking out the doors. I charged through the crowd and out the door. I caught Cody right before he hopped into his car.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” he said in a friendly way.

I stated the obvious. “You came to my game.”

“Damn, college sure has made you smart,” he joked. I tilted my head at him, trying to be cute. It worked.

“And you came alone.”

“Yeah. I'm not real popular at home right now,” he said.

“You will be when I get there,” I joked. Brad came up and put his arm around me.

“We're heading back. We'll meet you at home,” he said.

“Can you take Stef's Porsche? I met this blond stud and he's taking me home,” I said, flirting.

“Blond studs aren't the kind of thing you turn down,” he said, taking the keys from me. I saw Will scamper after him as he headed to Stef's car.

“That boy worships his father,” I said.

“He does. I don't think I've ever seen a son so much like his dad,” Cody said. “So how are you getting home?”

“Fucker,” I teased as I hopped into the passenger seat. “Take me out to dinner.”

“You think I'm going to spend money on a punk like you?” he joked.

“You do and you might just get into my pants,” I shot back.

“Dinner it is,” he said. He tooled down Rodeo Drive, the most cliché street in LA, and took us up to some hopping bistro. “This is the happening place in town now.” The valet parked his car in front.

“Looks like one of those places where they have really good food and really small portions,” I joked.

“So. Just order more.” He got us a table right away, despite the crowd. Now that was power in Hollywood.

“Where's Brian?” I asked finally.

“Home, pissed off at me,” he grumbled.

“You tell him you were going to my game?” I asked.

“No, I told him I had a meeting, but he probably knows I went to your game.” He looked so stressed and depressed.

“Dude, what do you want? You seem fucking miserable,” I said sympathetically.

“I don't know what I want. When I'm with Brian, I want him. When I'm with you, I want you. When I'm alone, I prowl.”

“So the wolf lives?” I joked.

“Always,” he teased back.

I was starting to understand him even better. It wasn't about who was a better lay, it was about what was next. The next person, the next conquest. The hunt. “You are a wolf. You move in for the kill, but then you do some kind of catch and release thing, then it's on to the next one.”

“Fine. You're right. I'm an asshole,” he said, pissed.

“I didn't say you were an asshole. I think it actually makes you kind of hot, a challenge. Who can tame the hungry wolf?” I gave him my million-watt smile and brought him out of his funk.

“You think you're the one?”

“Maybe someday.” I got serious. “I was so fucking pissed at you for going off with Brian and ditching me. I kept thinking there was something wrong with me. I even contemplated changing brands of deodorant.” He laughed at that. “But that's not what it was about, was it? You just had another conquest to make.”

“There's nothing wrong with you,” he said, refusing to validate my hypothesis.

“So what's next? You gonna beat down my gates with your battering ram?”

He laughed. “Fuckin' A.” Then he got all serious. “I have to get a grip on this thing with Brian.”

“You know, it would be really nice if you worked it out so there was room in your life, and your bed, for me,” I said sincerely. “How come other guys can do that, like Stef and JP, and you can't?”

“They love each other completely, they are totally secure with each other,” he observed. And he and Brian weren't. And now it dawned on me why he had brought me here. To dump me.

“Why are you here with me?” I asked. He said nothing. “You brought me here to dump me. To tell me to stay the fuck away from you.”

“You said you weren't going to let up. You said you were going to drag me in and fuck me every chance you got,” he said. “I don't have the willpower to say no to you.”

“Dude, are out of your fucking mind? You're asking me not to hit on you, to basically write you off so you won't be tempted to fuck around behind Brian's back? Why would I do that?”

“You'd do it for me. To give me a chance to be happy,” he said so quietly it was almost scary.

“This is bullshit Cody, and it's such fucking bullshit I'm actually gonna explain it to you instead of just laughing in your face.” I was pissed now. “First of all, if your relationship with him was worth a shit, we wouldn't even be talking about this. How many guys here are way hotter than me and would do anything to get you to fuck them?” I asked, waving my hand, gesturing at all the eye candy at the bistro.

“They don't tempt me,” he said calmly. “You do.”

For some reason, that pissed me off even more. “And the second reason is that you're trying to suck me into your relationship with Brian, and there's no fucking way in hell I'm going there. I think that dude is fucking crazy. I'm not letting him near my psyche. It's bad enough he's gotten this close just through you.”

He looked at me sadly. “I was hoping you would help me out.”

“Guess again,” I said, sounding really heartless. He looked up at me and the sadness in his eyes ripped me to the core. “Look, I'm going back to Paly, to Stanford. I won't be around. So I'm not going to agree to this bullshit of keeping my hands off of you, but at the same time, I won't be here tempting you. You make me feel like fucking Eve in the Garden of Eden.” This whole thing was exasperating.

“I guess we can just try not to see each other,” he said. He was so morose.

“Jesus fucking Christ. You are already miserable and you're just starting this experiment with him. I can't believe we're even having this conversation. But hey, you want to totally blow me off, go ahead. It's for the best. You know why?”

“Why?” he asked reluctantly.

“Because if I'm gone, when your fucked up relationship with him implodes, probably in a week or two, you won’t be able to blame it on me.” I paused to think about how I needed to control my anger, but it was too late. I was in a rage, the kind of rage that was dangerous. “I gotta take a piss.”

I didn't wait for him to say anything; I just got up and headed to the bathroom. I was on fire, so pissed off I knew my face had to be bright red. I opened the bathroom door, slamming it open. There was a guy at the sink, a short skinny little twink. He looked at me with a combination of fear and lust. Just what I needed.

I walked up to him and grabbed the center of his shirt right between his nipples and dragged him with me into one of the stalls. This was a nice place, and they had marble-clad floor to ceiling stalls, with full length doors, so once you were in them, it was completely private. “What are you doing?” he asked, surprised and scared at the same time.

“I'm gonna fuck your brains out,” I said, pushing him against the wall hard and pressing my body against his. I lowered my mouth onto his and started kissing him, and it only took him a second to respond. Now he was into it, now he was willing, begging for it. I backed off and undid my belt and pants, dropping them to the floor. He stared at my cock and licked his lips, but I didn't have time for that, to let him blow me.

I spun him around and pulled his pants down right over his skinny hips, then I whipped out a condom and some lube. I pushed up to him, probing him, remembering to go slow. He didn't need my caution; this boy had been around the block. So I pushed him up against the wall and started fucking him, really hard, snarling in his ear like an animal. I bit his neck, his ear, not hard, just enough to let him know I was in charge and dangerous. His body moved back into mine willingly, begging me for more. I went on and on, and then felt my load building. He knew I was close, I could tell by the way he started jerking himself off frantically. Our timing was off even then, and he shot first. That was perfect, I just kept slamming into him, riding him all the way down his orgasm and then up mine.

And then we had both cum and the spell was broken. I pulled out of him and pulled the condom off, dropping it into the toilet. “Uh, thanks,” I said.

“No, thank you,” he said. “Wow. Where did you come from?”

I laughed and washed my hands, then went back to our table. Cody was still there, only he was talking on his cell phone. He looked up at me strangely, wondering what had made the storm brewing inside me dissipate, and ended his call.

“So what's next on our agenda?” I asked. “You taking me home, you taking me out on the town, or you taking me to some hotel for a last hurrah?” I watched him struggling. I didn't want to torture him so I shot him a smile, making it a joke.

“How about a party?” he asked. A Hollywood party?

“Let's go,” I said. We walked by the bar and there was the guy that I fucked, hanging out with some of his twink friends.

“Take me for a ride,” one of them said suggestively. I pretended to ignore him but winked, making him giggle.

“What was that about?” Cody asked.

“I'm hot. Didn't you notice?” I joked.

He rolled his eyes. “We're going to a party at Jackie's house. She's my boss, so don't piss her off,” he said. Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. He was going to lecture me about how to be polite at parties? Me, Mr. Shaker Heights? We drove up to a big house that looked like a miniature version of Escorial, only with really tacky statues out front.

“I like the décor,” I said. “White trash with money.” He laughed. He led me up the front steps and through the front hall. The place was packed with people, and all of them knew Cody. I was suddenly aware that I was in his world, and that made me feel kind of vulnerable, vulnerable enough to latch onto him. We worked our way through the crowd.

“Your movie is doing really well,” Cody said to a really hot young guy with a girl on his arm that looked totally stoned. I eyed him, trying to get him to flirt with his eyes, but he wasn't going there. Little straight douche bag. Get him a few drinks and I'd nail him. “We'll be able to shake down some more cash next time around. This is Matt Carrswold. Matt, this is Tobey Maguire.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said.

“You in the business?” he asked curiously. He had a boyish voice. What a cute guy.

“Nope. I go to Stanford. I was down here playing hockey,” I said. I could see that he was immediately disinterested in me, and that pissed me off. But I had another card to play. “My father is though.” He only looked slightly more interested.

“I don't know anyone named Carrswold,” said the vapid young girl on his arm. It seemed like that one sentence had exhausted her.

“His name is Robbie Hayes,” I said, and watched them both shit a brick. Cody tried to hide his grin. “It was wonderful meeting you both,” I said sarcastically and walked off on my own. I didn't need Cody. Robbie's aura would give me an instant entrée, just like being a Carrswold had done in Shaker Heights.

“So you're Matt,” said a really tacky woman. She looked like Joan Rivers. “I'm Jackie.”

I turned the charm up to full. “It's nice to finally meet you,” I said, kissing her on each cheek. “Stef and Cody have both told me what a neat lady you are.”

“Baby, no one calls me a lady in this town,” she joked. I laughed. “You're cute. Enjoy the party.”

“Thank you,” I said, feigning a bow and making her chuckle. Most of the people there were self-absorbed pricks, but I had my shield of armor on. I was the son of mega-producer Robbie Hayes. I drank like a, well, like a college student and ended up fucking that guy who played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: TNG. He was such a little bitch it was fun to really slam into him, and even more fun to see how much he liked it.

“You ready to go home?” Cody asked when I caught up with him. I looked at my watch and saw it was almost 4am.

“Sure,” I said in a slutty voice. He drove over Mulholland, taking the long way, and pulled off into a little turnout.

“What are we doing?” I asked.

“Having a last hurrah,” he said. There, in front of me, were the glittering lights of Malibu. He bent me over the hood of the Porsche, then slipped on a condom and some lube. I felt him pushing against me and I pushed back. I wanted him so bad. Each thrust was heaven, each moan, each grunt, everything was so perfect. He pulled me up and nibbled on my neck, bringing me to a climax much too soon. I blew my load all over the hood of his car, which was pretty funny.

He stopped like a caring lover should, but I made him keep going, and even though I'd just blown, and even though his dick was big and kind of hurt, it still felt so awesome to be with him like this. I realized that, in my own way, I really did love him. He drove us home, not saying anything until we were almost there.

“You know, you had this all figured out, how you'd ask me to leave you alone so you could go off and be with Brian,” I said. “I've got a question for you.”

“What?” he asked as we pulled into the garage.

“You've told me all the reasons I should do this for you, and for Brian, and you never once seemed to give a shit about me. You act like I’m just a fuck to you,” I said bitterly. I was tired and drunk. He said nothing. “I really care about you. A lot.”

He got out of the car and I could tell how much that impacted him. I followed him and slammed my hand on the door to the house, blocking it before he could go in. “Do I mean so little to you that you can just brush me aside like some Hollywood twink?” He said nothing; he just stared at my hand until I dropped it, letting us both head inside. We both stormed into the house, pissed off, only to be faced with a loud voice attached to a short body.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Brian demanded, staring at us.

“You know, if you got more sleep maybe you wouldn't be such a fucking bitch,” I growled at him, daring him, begging him with my eyes to do something, to cross that physical line. Then Cody interjected himself in between us, clearly protecting Brian, and clearly making his choice. “Thanks for taking me to the party, and for dinner,” I said, then walked slowly up the stairs. Fuck them both. I fell into bed, letting my body surrender to the sleep it craved.

A hand was shaking me. “Wake up,” a voice said rudely. Brian.

“What the fuck do you want?” I asked.

“Stef's flying out tonight and needs the plane, so if you want to go home you've got about an hour to head to the airport,” he said with a sneer.

“I thought you quit,” I said.

“We decided I could still handle things and live down here,” he said. “Not that it's any of your fucking business.”

“If I make it my business, it's my business. You wanna do something about it?” I asked, flexing my biceps as I rolled over onto my side.

“You don't scare me,” he said.

“Then why are you trying to chase me out of Malibu?” I demanded.

“Fine, don't go. Miss the plane. Fly commercial. I could give a fuck,” he growled. I decided to put a spoke in his wheel. He got up to leave and I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Stef. He stopped at the door to watch me.

“Hello?” Stef said.

“Hey Stef. Brian says you're flying out tonight. What time do you need me to be back?” I asked. Brian glared at me.

“I was going to go back up to Wyoming but JP has talked me out of it. You can come back whenever you want,” he said somberly.

“Thanks Stef. I wanted to spend some time with everyone here first,” I said sincerely. Brian was so pissed off his face actually turned red. “I met Jackie last night.”

Stef laughed. “That must have been an experience,” he said. Brian stormed out of the room and I told Stef all about the party. He loved to gossip.

“How are things with Brian and Cody?” he asked.

“They've both decided they have something to bond over. They both hate me,” I said sadly.

“Well Matt, they are fools for feeling that way, but it is probably a blessing in disguise. You do not need to be involved in their tumultuous relationship.”

“That's what I keep telling Cody. It would be so much nicer if we'd have a threesome in the bedroom and they just had a twosome when it came to all this emotional bullshit,” I joked.

He laughed like I knew he would. “That is true. Enjoy your trip home. Come visit this week,” he said, almost a plea.

“You know Stef, you could come see me on campus,” I said.

“I don't feel safe anywhere anymore,” he said. “If they could do that to poor Matthew, they could do it to me.”

“Stef, Palo Alto is a lot different from Wyoming,” I told him. “Besides, I'll defend you.”

He actually giggled. “We will see. And now I must go pay attention to JP so he does not get cranky.”

I walked across my room to get into the shower and saw Brian standing at the door staring evil fire and daggers at me. “Nice try,” I said, and slammed the door in his face.

I made it downstairs in time for lunch. Brad and Robbie were hanging out on Stef's deck. They all pretty much treated both houses as one; there was actually a connecting passageway between them. “How was your evening?” Robbie asked. I told them all about my dinner with Cody, and really poured my soul out. It was so cool to have people like this that I could trust and rely on.

“You're probably better off without them,” Robbie said. Brad had an entirely different expression on his face. He was pissed off.

“Brad, dude, this isn't your fight. Don't let it bug you. I'll be back at Stanford tonight and I'll forget about them,” I said.

“This is not how we treat members of our family,” Brad said firmly. I looked at Robbie and saw that he found that voice just as scary as I did. It was like JP's bloodless voice, only with some venom tossed in.

Brian and Cody came strolling out onto the deck and froze when they saw me. “Where are you off to?” Robbie asked, trying to ease the tension.

“We're going house-hunting,” Brian said. “We decided to get our own place.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” I observed, making sure to keep any sarcasm out of my voice. “Let me know when the house-warming party is.”

Brian gave me that look, the hateful one. “You will not be welcome in our home.” The next moment was hard to describe. It went in slow motion, as if everyone absorbed that statement and then it was a race to see who responded first. It was Brad.

“If Matt isn't welcome in your house, you're not welcome in ours. Would you like me to help you pack up your things?”

Brian was shocked. He'd done the calculus and figured that as JP's bastard half-brother he'd get priority over Robbie's bastard son. It was an interesting move, because if he could keep JP, the head of the family, in his corner, the rest would probably fall in line. And it might have worked except for Brad. Brad didn't take shit from anyone, and he wasn't afraid to tell JP or Stef what he thought. Cody was about to smooth things over; I could see it in his eyes, when Brian opened his mouth again.

“I think this is Stef's house, not yours,” he said. “He told me it was fine if I'm here.”

Cody all but freaked out then, as did Robbie, not vocally, but staring at Brad and Brian, trying to figure out what to do, how to defuse the problem. But Brad didn't get upset, he didn't lose it, he just got a slight smile and was as cool as ice. Brian had just declared war on Brad, and there was no way he would win that one. Cody and Robbie knew it, I knew it, but Brian was oblivious. “I think I'll head back with you Matt. Are you ready to leave?” Brad's voice was deliberate, with absolutely no inflection.

“Sure,” I said, trying not to sound nervous. “My bag's right there.” I pointed toward the front door.

Brad looked at Cody. “Your friend is too fucking stupid to understand, but you aren't. He's gone.” Brian looked at Cody, waiting for Cody to rally to his defense, but Cody just nodded. “I'll see you soon baby,” he said, kissing Robbie, and then he strode confidently off the patio with me following him. I stopped him as soon as we were out of earshot.

“You can handle Stef and JP on the phone,” I said. “You don't want to leave him here alone.” He didn't know if I was talking about Brian or Robbie. “I can talk to them if there's an issue.”

“No. I need to be there, to make sure that Dad and Stef understand.” We headed to the airport while Brad tried to master his rage. “Brian has been pushing buttons for a long time. It stops now.” I nodded feebly, feeling guilty and responsible for ripping my new family apart.

Neither one of us said a word until we got onto the plane. “Palo Alto,” I said to the pilot curtly, and then we took our seats. “Are you OK?”

“I'm seriously pissed off,” Brad snapped.

“I figured that out,” I joked. He smiled.

“Our family is very hierarchical. You've probably noticed that,” Brad said.

“Duh,” I responded, trying to keep his mood lighter.

“Brian is challenging me,” he said. “It's not happening. I'm not putting up with that bullshit. Not for one fucking minute. I wouldn't put up with it from Ace, I might from Claire, but sure as fuck not from Brian.” I laughed when he said Claire.

“You guys are scared shitless of her,” I joked.