If Memory Serves - 1. Chapter 1

I wonder what he’s thinking.

I mean, Sawyer’s gotta be thinking it, right? I’m thinking it. It’s not like it’s something that either one of us could just ‘forget’ about, or act like it never happened. It’s not like it was a random moment in time that could just pass by and fade away behind us like the road in the tail lights of my dad’s minivan on our way up here for the weekend. It’s kind of a big deal. At least I thought it was. And I know that he’s thinking about it too. I mean...isn’t he? He has to be.

It would be so unfair if he wasn’t.

Or have I been obsessing over this for the past three years, expecting more of a reaction than I had any right to? That’s always a possibility, I suppose.

“Hey, Josh...you need another one?” Sawyer asked me. Pulling the blanket back to reveal our little hidden stash of Mike’s Hard Lemonade bottles in a mini cooler that he swiped while the rest of the adults were preoccupied with getting the barbecue set up and the festivities started for the evening.

“Yeah, I guess I could go for another one. Thanks.” I said, and he reached over to hand me a cold one right out of the ice. “Sweet.” It’s hard to imagine that it was already the third anniversary of us all getting together to build this park just a short walk away from the lake. There was this older kid, Brian, in our class who was going out for his Boy Scout Eagle badge...and he needed to organize and put together a decent project that would do some good for the community in order to get signed off on it. He decided that he wanted to build a park for the kids in the area, and I jumped at the chance to help out, you know? There was nothing but space out here, and having a spot for the younger kids to climb and run and jump around was a great idea. Brian even got a bunch of businesses in the area and over on Main Street to donate money to the effort in return for some free promotion and flyers with their logo and website printed on it. It was a good time.

Sawyer and I were only fourteen years old at the time, and we had never met before...but I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to forget seeing him for the very first time. I was already beginning to figure out that there was something a little bit ‘different’ about me when it came to being around other boys by the time I was eleven or twelve. My other friends were sort of getting shy around girls and talking about them more and more often...but...not me. I didn’t see what the fascination was, to be honest. But Sex Ed class taught us that we’d all end up getting triggered at different times and different ages. What they didn’t teach us was that some of us might have slightly different tastes when it came to my hormones finally being fully activated and ready to go searching for an attraction that I could embrace and call my own. And that’s when things got weird.

I won’t lie...I had to struggle with it for a while. Because other boys were doing the same things to me that girls were doing to my friends. And I had no idea how to handle that. It just felt...clumsy, and awkward, and so embarrassing that I didn’t dare talk about it. Not to anyone.

And then came Sawyer...

Seeing him for the first time pretty much solidified my sexuality and gave it meaning. Purpose. It was almost instantaneous, to be honest. And I haven’t been the same since.

Only an inch or two taller than I was, and a half year older, I had placed him up on a pedestal that no other boy could ever hope to reach. A true beauty that needed no validation from me or anyone else to exist in its purest form. A graceful sweep of blond hair, and a set of kissable lips that were hard to look away from once he began to talk to you. Light brown eyes that looked like rays of sunshine being filtered through a thin sheen of fresh honey. He was the definition of first love to me. Beauty walking. A wet dream made real. And I couldn’t help but to lose my breath as he and I were teamed up to spread some of the wooden mulch down together and rake it out as a base for the park’s equipment.

Every word he spoke to me was an angel’s song. Every touch was an electrifying experience. And his smile? Oh wow. He had the kind of smile that could stop the planets from spinning if he willed it so. It filled me with so much joy that I found myself blushing and giggling out loud for little to no reason at all. It was the only way that my conflicted emotions knew how to react to his very presence next to me.

It’s so strange...feeling humiliated and alone because of your own attractions until someone comes along and challenges you to wonder whether it might actually be worth it.

We all worked together with Brian’s scout troop to put that park together in a single weekend, parents and friends and relatives all coming out to help as well...and he got his Eagle merit badge. The highest honor you can get in the Boy Scouts. And we celebrated right out here by the lake to give him applause for a job well done.

That was three years ago today. And sitting out here with the setting sun, hanging out with Sawyer again just felt like home to me. At seventeen, I’d like to think that I’m a bit wiser, a bit more comfortable with who I am, and a little more savvy when it came to talking to boys that I liked. But I won’t lie and say that he doesn’t still make me nervous whenever our eyes connect. Because, while I’m still inexperienced in the realm of sex and sensuality...I can’t help but to think of Sawyer as my first love. In a lot of ways, he really was. You know?

So...why is he not acknowledging our other anniversary, tonight? The one where we, like...got together and...

“These things have a pretty strong kick to them. Geez!” He said, breaking my concentration. “How many have you had?”

“Ummm...this is just my second one. I’ve been trying to savor them for a bit though. My mom would kill me if she found out I was drinking, hehehe!” I said.

“Just two? Damn, Josh...I think this is my fourth already. You need to catch up.”

“I’m pretty sure that falling flat on my face is going to give me away, dude.” I grinned. “Besides, I just like hanging out with you, Sawyer. I don’t want to cut it short by passing out on you.”

“You’re a cheap date then? I can dig that?” He said, and he used his fingers to push some of his sandy blond locks out of his eyes. Everything that he did was so cute to me that I often found myself frozen with an infatuated stare, craving just a touch of him to make sure that he was still real. You have no idea how much I’ve longed to be close to him again. His absence was a bit of a painful experience, and the only thing that kept me going was my heart’s belief in the promise that we’d eventually be able to see each other again. This moment. Even if it was just a few bottles of sugary alcohol sweets and casual conversation. I’ll take it. When it came to being with Sawyer, I’ll take whatever I can get.

“So...three years, huh?” He said with a tilted grin. “Time flies, am I right?”

“Yeah...hardly seems like it’s been that long at all.” I said, hoping to keep my nervous jitters to a minimum so he wouldn’t be able to hear the tremble in my voice.

“What have you been up to all this time? I mean, you grew pretty tall. Heh...you were a skinny little twerp when we first met.”

“I wasn’t that little.” I giggled. “Besides, it’s not like I was gonna stay fourteen forever.”

“I know. No hate. Just...I think it’s cool that you grew up. We both did. Your voice is crazy deep now too. Hehehe!” He said, and our eye contact lingered for just a split second longer than normal, causing me to blush and turn away as I felt myself wiggling in my own skin. “Have you learned to hate high school yet?”

I shrugged one shoulder, “It’s not so bad. I pretty much just keep to myself, anyways. I’m pretty much invisible in that place.”

“Lucky you.” He said. “I think I’m a lot more visible than I ever wanted to be. It’s far from being a blessing. Trust me.” He said, pressing the bottle to those precious lips of his.

“Oh? What did you do?” I smirked.

“Let’s just say that I put myself...’on display’ before I was ready. I’ll leave it at that.” He brushed his blond hair out of his eyes a second time and looked at me to see if I had maybe gleaned some sort of understanding for what he was telling me. The weird thing is...I think I actually did...but my brain put up a wall of denial that kept me from accepting the possibility that such a thing could be true.

There was something about that idea that I wasn’t really ready to handle yet.

It really just brought me back to that night all over again. The night when we camped outside in that tent away from everybody else. The night of my very first kiss. The night that I...well...sort of lost my virginity to another boy.

Sort of...

I know that it sounds kind of cliché to say that it just sort of ‘happened’, but to be totally honest...it really did. I barely remember what it was that even led to that magic moment...I just remember us working side by side to put the park together and talk to one another to the point where my heart began to beat out of control. My breath short and labored. With me swooning over him to the point of confusion, my eyes unable to stay away from their enchanted stare for more than a few seconds at a time before I had to turn around and make some sort of silent excuse in my head to look at him again. It’s a weird question to ask yourself...’am I in love right now?’

I couldn’t be. I had only known him for a single day. And I’ve had crushes on boys before, for sure. But there was something so different about the way I felt about Sawyer. There was, like...this nervous sugar rush of excitement that was surging through me, making it worth the sheer terror I had to fight through just to be near him. And when they were walking around giving all of us breaks in our shifts so we wouldn’t get overworked or anything, and Sawyer asked me, “Hey, Josh? You wanna maybe eat lunch together?” I nearly crumbled to pieces right then and there. I was too lost to ever find my way back to a normal life at that point.

“Ummm, yeah. Sure...” I replied, unable to hide my smile.

Sawyer smiled back at me, and I blushed so hard that I felt a little bit dizzy in the head. Ugh, my poor little teenage heart! “Cool. Like...get us a table or something and I’ll grab us some burgers and chips and stuff.” By the end of our little lunch break, I was locked in a dreamy state of desperation to just absorb as much of his joyful life essence as I possibly could in the limited amount of time that I was given. I mean, how long does a single weekend last? You know?

Putting that park together was a hefty task, for sure. A lot of sweat and grunting and sore muscles went into it...but at the end of the day, we knew that we’d easily be able to finish whatever it was we had left on Sunday morning with all of us working together, and then we’d pack up our things and head back home. It looked great. Monkey bars, and a slide, and a sandbox...I mean it wasn’t quite Disney World, but to the area kids who were looking for a cool place to play...I was sure that it would seem like a paradise anyway. So I considered it a job well done. It was something to be proud of. Something that I could come back to a few years later and still appreciate it for all the hard work that we put into it.

Still...going to the main cabin to take a hot shower once the sun went down was something that I had been longing for all day. The idea of simply standing under a spray of soothing ‘hot as you can stand it’ water certainly sounded like Heaven to me. It was so refreshing that I could literally feel my back and shoulders unfurling from being tightened up for so long during the day’s work. My legs were weak, my neck aching with fatigue. But when I stepped out of that tub, smelling and feeling good from head to toe, I heard myself breathe a heavy sigh of relief. Oh man...I needed that.

Then, as I opened up the door with my dirty clothes in my hand, wearing just some soccer shorts and a jersey...I was suddenly thrown off course by having Sawyer standing right there in front of me. He had a bath towel slung over his shoulder, with some clean clothes folded up under his arm...and I couldn’t help but to gasp to myself as my emotions were suddenly flooded with more unrestricted beauty that any poor kid could ever be expected to deal with at once. Not without at least some warning.

“Whoah...hey...” I said.

“Sup?” He grinned. “Sorry. I didn’t scare you, did I?”

“No. I just...I wasn’t expecting anybody to be...out here. Or whatever.” It was hard to concentrate. It really was. Sawyer was so damn CUTE! I tried to step aside, but he did the same and we ended up in each other’s way again. Then we both went the other way, putting us in the same predicament. With a few nervous giggles and softly spoken apologies, we were able to awkwardly slide past one another and trade places.

I was able to muster up a very bashful ‘goodbye’ before turning around to leave him to his shower, but Sawyer called out to me before I was able to get away. “Hey, Josh...some of the scout troopers brought some tents and extra sleeping bags with them for the weekend.”

“Ummm...ok.” I wasn’t quite sure what that was supposed to mean, but he sounded cute saying it.

“Well, like...some of them were setting them up outside. You know, around the park. So we wouldn’t all be cramped up in the same cabin and having to sleep on the floor and stuff.” He said, and his voice seemed to get a little bit softer when he added, “Maybe...you and I should grab one. Find us a spot or something? I was thinking that it might be kinda cool.”

“Oh!” I blurted out. “Yeah! I’d be down for that.”

“Cool...” He said, and then he told me he’d see me once he got done cleaning up, and we could set it up before it got too dark. I swear, the fact that I was able to anchor myself to the ground after he closed that bathroom door is a complete mystery to me. I never wanted to float on air so much. Wow!

And is he NAKED in there??? I’ve got to stop thinking about this stuff. I’m already getting hard. Ugh!

Sawyer and I grabbed one of the tents from the scout leaders and told all of the adults where we would be setting up camp so they knew where to find us if they wanted to. We laughed at our clumsy attempts to figure things out on our own. I mean, we weren’t boy scouts...we were just helping out our friends. But we made sure to get a secluded spot where we could still kind of hear the calming sounds of the lake rolling up on the shore of the beach, and still had a little bit of light from the cabin in case we needed to get up and mark our territory some time during the night. I know that I had been perving over him all day, and I did take some extended peeks at Sawyer’s ass as we were moving, bending, and stretching, all afternoon...but I really made sure to get an eye full as he was the first one to crawl into the tent before me. It was like having a heavy weight on my chest, seeing the well sculpted cheeks disappear into the entrance with a bit of a wiggle as he got down on his hands and knees and pushed his sleeping bag inside. There was no doubt that I was fully erect at that point, and just tried to hurry in and keep my back to him as I zipped up the tent behind us and unrolled my sleeping bag to kick off my shoes and climb in.

It was a small tent, but I was grateful for that. With both of us laying there, side by side, shoulder to shoulder...it was kind of neat. I just remember staying up at the top of the tent as Sawyer and I rambled on and on about whatever topic that happened to pop into our minds. Movies and music and stuff we’ve seen on Youtube. We laughed a lot. It’s strange how quickly you can feel so very close to somebody. It was comfortable enough to almost make me forget how incredibly smitten I was with him.

Almost...but not quite.

“You know what this tent reminds me of, for some weird reason?” I asked him.

“What?”

“’Jurassic Park’. Hehehe!”

“The original?” He grinned. “What made you think of that all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know. It’s weird, but that was the first thing that came to mind.” I said.

“Dude, my dad let me watch that movie a few years ago from his collection of stuff...and that T-Rex scared the living shit out of me.”

“I KNOW, right???” I said. “Terrifying!”

“I used to have nightmares about that damn thing. Hehehe!” But Sawyer soon worked to get his casual machismo back. “Not anymore though. I watched it a few months ago, and I just thought it was cool. But that first time was scary.”

“Yeah...” I said with a sigh, and then cleared my throat as I felt my heart beating hard against the inside of my ribs again. “I used to pretend that I was out there, hiding from the carnivores...hoping they wouldn’t come and find me. Keeping something close by just in case I had to fight them off or something. Something to stab their eyes out or something.”

“Hehehe, damn, Josh. That’s pretty dark.”

“I’m a dark individual. What can I say?”

“Wait...hold on a sec...” Sawyer got an idea in his head and got his phone out of his backpack. He went scrolling through Youtube on the cabin’s Wifi, and he found this weird ambient soundscape thing for Jurassic Park. No music or anything, it was just rain and mud...and the sound of growling dinosaurs in the background. He hit play, and the tent was flooded with the sounds of thunder and heavy footsteps. He put it up by our heads between us and flashed me a smile. His face was only illuminated by the light of the phone...but it was just as beautiful as it was in daylight. “There. Now we can both pretend to be hiding out together.”

“It would be a lot less dangerous if I had a partner to watch my back.” I giggled.

“Yep. You know it.” He stared at his phone again, turning up the volume to full. “It looks like this thing goes on for about ten hours. Hehehe!”

“Ten HOURS??? Jesus! You’re gonna burn out you battery.” I said.

“That’s ok.”

“But what if you need your phone for something?”

“I won’t.” He said. “Or...at least, I doubt it. I can just charge it in the morning.” It was then that Sawyer’s eyes met mine...and for the first time, neither one of us turned away. “I like talking to you, Josh. So far, you’ve been the coolest part of this whole weekend.”

Blushing hard, I managed to squeak out, “Yeah...I like talking to you too...” I felt frozen. I wasn’t even moving and I still felt awkward, as if I didn’t know what to do with myself. My every emotion had been thrown into turmoil and calming myself down was no longer an option.

That’s when the roar of that T-Rex could be heard over the rain, and Sawyer and I looked at each other and giggled. “I hate that thing.” He said, and we returned to silence for a minute or two. The light on his phone went off, but the sounds were still playing. We were laying down, facing each other...and I knew he hadn’t gone to sleep yet because of the way that he was breathing. In the darkness of the tent, all we could see was each other’s silhouette...but our senses were picking up so much more. I felt drawn to him. It was like I couldn’t help myself. I got so hard that it hurt and I was wrestling with the fact that I’ve never been in this kind of situation before. Do I say something? NOT say something? Move closer, or further away? Will that seem like a rejection? Will doing the opposite seem like an invitation? I never met another boy who likes other boys before. What do I do?

Those few minutes, being hard enough to hump the ground beneath me, straining to breathe...seemed like several eternities strung together in an infinite loop. My heart was pounding in my ears to the point of near madness. Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump...I was scared that Sawyer could hear it too. I’d be so embarrassed if he heard my heart turning flips like this.

And then...

His arm reached out from his sleeping bag. He hesitated for a moment, but I could almost ‘feel’ it moving forward in the darkness. Now, I was panting. Anxious and confused...but craving the opportunity to have him touch me. Wherever he wanted to.

Eventually, he raised his arm up a bit and touched my shoulder, causing me to shiver all over from the contact. And when I didn’t pull away, he sort of rubbed my arm a few times. It was in this really intimate manner...one that made me feel soooo good. I was scared to commit to what was happening at first, but then I reached up to unzip my sleeping bag a little bit to get my hands free too.

Suddenly, Sawyer snatched his hand back, and he rolled over on his back. “Sorry...” He whispered.

Oh no! What did I do??? I panicked for a moment, and then scooted a little bit closer to him, taking a hold of his hand and slowly putting it back on my shoulder again. “It’s...it’s ok...” I said, my whole body trembling as I tried to apologize for whatever I might have done wrong.

“Really?” He whispered back. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah...” I was so breathless, but so eager to go on. “I’m sure. Are you...like...I mean, that’s ok, right?”

“I think so.” He said.

“M’kay...” I replied, and I let him lightly rub my arm again. And then...I reached out to place my hand, palm down on the flatness of his chest. We were barely moving at all, but from our heavy breathing alone, you would have thought that we had just run a marathon. I can’t remember a time that I had ever been so excited. It was almost too much for me to handle, but I didn’t dare spoil this moment before I found out what the limits of my ultimate joy and passion could be.

We simply used our hands to explore our bodies for a short while. Little experimental touches, followed by stifled moans and involuntary convulsions. But it was when I was touching and rubbing Sawyer’s abs...almost accidentally going up under his T-shirt to touch his bare skin...that things began to escalate even further. There’s something about the warmth and smoothness of bare skin that can’t be duplicated by any material on Earth. I let my finger circle around the rim of his shallow belly button, and soon he was sitting up to pull his shirt off completely. I was quick to follow his lead, and we both unzipped our sleeping bags all the way to scoot in and hug one another closely, skin on skin, and just feel the exhilarating passion of being welcomed into another boy’s embrace for the very first time. It was mind-blowing.

Lightly running my hands up and down his back was like magic to me. His skin was like silk. I could still feel the slight dampness of his hair, and the scent of the shampoo he used as I nuzzled myself into the nape of his neck. I just closed my eyes and allowed the rest of the world melt away as we held each other in the dark, the sounds of rain and dinosaurs in the distance still echoing on his phone. Wow...

As his hands moved lower, I began to get more nervous...but curiosity refused to let me slow things down. I didn’t want them to. I’m not even sure what I wanted, I just knew that I needed so badly that I could taste it. And that when he touched me. Just on the outside of my shorts, but it delivered an electric shock to me that caused me to whimper out loud. Never having been touched in such a sensual way before...it was my natural instinct to pull my hips back away from him. It was almost similar to having someone unexpectedly tickle the bottom of your foot...but much more potent. Much more desirable. So despite my initial knee jerk reaction, I moved in even closer to press my aching hardness against his, and we pushed them together with a steady rhythm that only took us a few minutes to figure out and become completely in sync with.

I was hugging him so tight. He was holding me so close. And just when I thought things couldn’t possibly escalate any further...Sawyer leaned his head back...and he gently pressed his beautiful lips against mine.

I had never kissed anybody before...but I could immediately see what all the fuss was about. I could taste his boyish breath in my mouth, and something about locking lips with someone so gorgeous completed the whole experience for me. Especially once I felt his tongue touch my lips...and then reach further forward to passionately slide back and forth against my own. It was slippery and wet and I couldn’t get enough of it. Our lips began to smack as the suction from our little make out session got to be more intense, and I rolled on top of him to grind myself against him in a way that was much bolder than I ever thought I’d have the courage to engage in. And then we rolled again with him on top of me, and my hands gripping the plump cheeks of his ass as he pressed down on me and made a few soft noises of his own.

I couldn’t tell you how long this went on for, as all time stood still when we were together like this, but we eventually had to come up for air and catch our breaths before we were too woozy to recover. We spent a moment or two laying on our backs at each other’s side, panting and shaking with a virgin fever that seemed to capture us out of nowhere. However, it wasn’t long before I missed his kiss, and I think he missed mine too because he reached over and rubbed the front of my shorts...pitching a sturdy tent of its own.

Sawyer giggled, whispering, “Omigod, Josh...hehehe, you’re so hard!”

I whispered back, “You are too!” I reached over to touch him too, and felt something wet on my fingers. “Dude, you’re leaking.”

“I know. I can’t help it.” He smiled.

He kissed me again, but only briefly. We flt each other for another minute or two before he took his hand away and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his shorts. I was quick to follow his lead once again, and with a little wiggling we were able to pull them all the way down and then off to toss to separate sides of the tent. And there we lay...completely naked. Hard enough to explode, our boyhood pulsing with every heartbeat.

We both giggled slightly for a moment but it was mostly out of awkwardness than anything else. And then...he reached for mine...and I reached for his...and after feeling every throbbing inch of one another for the very first time, we began to stroke each other. It was the most natural thing in the world to do...but it felt so naughty doing it to somebody else. I couldn’t even imagine the kind of trouble we might get ourselves into if anybody ever found out, so every moment of it felt risky and wrong. But it was hard to tell if that was a deterrent...or a more thrilling experience than it already was. You know?

Sawyer raised one of his knees and I pushed my hips out even further as his motion, grip, and speed, caused me to see sparkles as I held my breath to keep from making any noise. I wondered if any of the other scouts out in the park area were doing this right now. Maybe they’ve been doing it for a long time now. Either way, I could feel Sawyer leaking copious amounts of sticky liquid that slid down his hardness and puddled around my fingers, creating this wet slapping sound that I was praying wasn’t as loud as it sounded in that moment.

And then...a part of my body switched over into a more lustful state, where there had been an obvious breach...and I knew that my moment of truth was coming. I don’t think we really lasted that long. Everything below the waist got really tight all of a sudden...my breathing got heavier...my balls seemed to shrink up even smaller than they already were...and then...the ‘pumps’ began.

Harsh, euphoric, contractions that involuntarily force my warm juices out through my tip and squirt out like a rocket to finally bring my overstimulated erection some much needed relief, while the rest of my body was thrown into a fit of surprise tantrums that I couldn’t predict or control. I just slammed my eyes tight and rode it out as best as I could, soon feeling the same series of tremors coming from my partner next to me. Even after dribbling the entire time that I was stroking his hardness, he still had a full load to blow. Well...what I considered a full load for us at that age, anyway. Sawyer bit his bottom lip, his legs squirming all over the place as he erupted all over his stomach and chest, eventually pushing my hand away as he got to be too sensitive for me to hold on to him longer.

And then...a return to silence.

Heavy breathing and rapid heartbeats, sure...but other than that...silence.

I still had his sticky fluids all over my hand and in between my fingers, so I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. But Sawyer soon sat up and went into his backpack to grab his socks, and he handed me one. We both wiped our hands off as best as we could and that would just have to be good enough until we could go back into the cabin and wash up the next morning. “That was so hot...” He said, staring blankly at the ceiling of our tent.

“Extremely hot.” I said. And then I sort of brought my hand up to my face and sniffed my fingers.

“Hehehe! What are you doing?” He snickered.

“What? I was curious!” I giggled.

“You are so weird.” He leaned forward, and we began to kiss again for a short while before he rolled over to go to sleep.

I have to admit, I kind of wanted to do it again about fifteen minutes later, but I was too scared to ask. I was already hard again, but...I figured that it would be best for me to count my blessings and leave it alone. I mean, this was my first time doing...well...anything, really. I think a part of me just wanted to bask in it for a while. It’s unfortunate that I could never utter a word of this to anybody else, but I was pretty proud to have a sexy boy like Sawyer be my virgin experience. How many people ever get that lucky in life? Especially when you’re gay.

The bad thing is...that was the last time we ever even talked about it. I mean, we traded numbers and stuff, and we texted a few times...but after the next morning, we shared a hug and said ‘seeya later’ and that was the end of it. I’ve been longing for another chance to be with him ever since, and that was three whole years ago. Three years ago today, on the park’s anniversary. And Sawyer has been talking to me all afternoon as though it never happened. Not that he’s been unfriendly or standoffish...I just...

...I’d really like to think that our night alone in that tent meant as much to him as it meant to me. I suppose that’s what the power of nostalgia does to you. It takes you back to a time when every moment was an adventure, and every touch was an orgasm waiting to happen. For what it’s worth...I think I did pretty good for a shy kid. Hehehe! I don’t regret a thing.

And that brings me right back to the present.

“I’ve gotta piss...but I really don’t want to get up.” Sawyer said with a smile. I swear, I can still see hints of that same cute little heartthrob that I first fell so madly in love with way back then.

“If you wet your pants in front of me, consider this the last time that we’re hanging out. Like...ever.” I grinned.

“Don’t worry, I’ll sacrifice my comfort for a trip to the bathroom. Or...at least towards an unlucky tree.” He said. And he turned around to look at the park behind us, marveling at the fact that it was still standing strong. “Can you believe it, Josh? We actually had a hand in building this place. A place where...people can come and truly be themselves. Have fun. Get some entertainment and joy out of life any time they feel like dropping by. A playground that people are going to remember for ten, maybe even twenty, years to come. Maybe even more. How awesome is that?”

“Yeah. It is kinda cool when you think about it.” I said. “A lot of good times are going to be made here. A lot of good memories too.”

Sawyer turned his head to look at me again. “Yeah. Some of my favorite memories come from this place.” And our eye contact lingered for a moment...just like it did that night. And he repeated, “Some of my absolute favorite.”

I smiled at him, turning red in the face. And he did the same. “Mine too.” I told him.

That’s when Sawyer held up his bottle to clink with mine. “To our anniversary.”

“Anniversaries.” I said, and we tapped them together before taking a healthy swig at the same time. Wow...either these things really do have a strong kick to them...or the swooning infatuation of my fourteen year old heart got all triggered and reactivated all over again as if for the first time.

All these years, and he’s still a miracle to behold, you know? Poetry come to life.

“Alright, I’m getting up. I’ll be right back.” He said, giving me another chance to take one of my addictive peeks at his ass as he brushed himself off. But, before leaving, he asked, “You know...I packed up a tent to bring with me this weekend. You wanna camp out tonight? For old time’s sake?”

“You own a tent?” I giggled.

“Hey...watch it. There’s nothing wrong with owning your own tent.”

“I never said there was.”

“Good. Because there isn’t.” He grinned.

“You never owned a tent before. That’s all.”

“I didn’t see the benefits of having one at the time.” Then with a smile and a wink, he added, “...Some things change, I suppose.”

“Some don’t.” I replied with a flirtatious tone.

“Very true.” He said. “Some get even better. I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

I didn’t know how to come back with anything after he said that, but I nodded my head and felt my heart racing just like it did that one beautiful night we spent together. My ideas about sex have become a lot more ‘imaginative’ since I was that trembling little twerp in Sawyer’s arms. Something tells me that whatever parts of my virginity that were left behind might not be there in the morning. And I look forward to it.

My first time. My first kiss. My first real crush. Maybe there’s more to discover here. Who knows? But for now, on the anniversary of me being a part of building something special with a boy that I loved so completely, someone who inspired a passion in me that I never even knew existed until I stumbled across him on some random weekend three years ago...

...I feel like it’s not something that I should ever take for granted. I can’t even imagine where I would be without it.

Now...let me finish off this bottle and try to get back up on my feet in the fresh air. I’ve got a tent to put up tonight. Hehehe!