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RIP - Comicality
    Aditus
  • Aditus
  • Author
  • 07/15/2015
  • 113 Words
  • 873 Views
  • 4 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Aditus' prompts and circumstances - 20. Poetry Prompt 10 - Italian Sonnet: Ripples in the Sand

Write one Italian Sonnet about a recent dream. Use the quatrains to paint the sights, sounds, and other senses of the dream in an unsentimental way. With the sestet, introduce the emotions of how the dream made you feel.

Ripples in the Sand

Waves carving endless ripples in the sand,

rose colored sea shells gleaming in the light.

The roaring surf is silent. It is night.

A line of foot prints leading to the strand.

Cold water nipped at naked toes, covered

by seaweed. In the distance a green glow

illuminates the floating heads below.

With strong wings shrieking vultures hovered.

My heart beats so fast, I fear it will quit.

I dare not to think what this nightmare means.

Lost souls, tortured in purgatory’s pit?

The agony. Yet denied heaven’s greens.

Hands on the light switch, summoning my wit,

in need of fresh air, I slip on my jeans.

I couldn't follow the iambic pentameter all the time. Sorry.
Feel free to laugh at the last sentence, I did.
©Copyright 2013 Aditus; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 9
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

AC Benus

Funny enough, I didn't get 'nightmare' at all reading the first part of the poem. I think you have wisely done this on purpose, for whatever is troubling the person who needs to turn on the switch and slip on those jeans, it is probably just something in their interpretation that is bothering them. I like that; I think that is subtle and makes the reader question if they know their own concept of 'rest' and 'nightmare' as well.

 

Well done!

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Aditus
On 07/17/2015 09:16 AM, AC Benus said:

Funny enough, I didn't get 'nightmare' at all reading the first part of the poem. I think you have wisely done this on purpose, for whatever is troubling the person who needs to turn on the switch and slip on those jeans, it is probably just something in their interpretation that is bothering them. I like that; I think that is subtle and makes the reader question if they know their own concept of 'rest' and 'nightmare' as well.

 

Well done!

Thank you for taking the time and comment as for the prompt, AC. It took me a while until I got the detached observation part right, I'm glad you liked it. I think I need to play with the Italian Sonnet some more. :)

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albertnothlit

I was all al like, ooh, such a cool dream - then the jeans. wat. Either way, amazing job - having just tried to make one of these, I can appreciate the effort that goes into making it!

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Aditus
On 11/10/2015 04:48 AM, albertnothlit said:

I was all al like, ooh, such a cool dream - then the jeans. wat. Either way, amazing job - having just tried to make one of these, I can appreciate the effort that goes into making it!

Lol well, you wake up, need to get out and don't want to do that naked. Err...thanks! :D

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