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    Aditus
  • Aditus
  • Author
  • 10/07/2015
  • 170 Words
  • 1,454 Views
  • 13 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Aditus' prompts and circumstances - 25. Poetry Prompt 14 - Ballade: Five Sibyls

The prompt: write one Ballade based on images from the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. You decide how many syllables to use per line, and whether you wish each stanza to be about a different panel from the ceiling, or flow as an overall impression of the artwork. Include an Envoi and address it to whomever you like.

Five Sibyls

 

Homer unmasked, the lying bard.

And Troy destroyed, it was too late.

Alex the Great’s heroics starred.

And who will be this saviour mate?

She didn’t say, we have to wait.

Now, want to risk it, want some more?

Go on, and step up to the plate

Remember they predicted war.

 

Before you ask, think long and hard,

Enunciate, rephrase, restate.

To question her, be on your guard.

Her answers prophesize your fate

You wouldn’t need something you hate,

Unwanted truth you do abhor,

So, when you stand before her gate,

Remember they predicted war.

 

On scattered leaves, her words were marred.

She didn’t care at any rate.

What once made sense completely jarred,

And you are in a sorry state,

Wish a decision never made,

Heeded the warning from before.

Not ever risen to her bait.

Remember they predicted war.

 

And home you go with stagg’ring gait,

Lips whispering: You lying whore.

Succumbing to the knowledge’s weight.

Remember they predicted war.

Part of the poem already addresses someone, and the Envoi is  more of a conclusion than an address, but this is all the ballade I can do. smile.png Thank you, AC for this challenging prompt. Whew!
©Copyright 2013 Aditus; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Puppilull

Oh wow! The pressure is on now! That was grand! A clearly epic feel to it.

 

I must give my pitiful draft some TLC tonight.

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Cole Matthews

Interesting. I get a sense there is sarcasm in there and I'm not sure why. Or bitterness. Anyway, it definitely evoked a strong sense of disappointment or disgust. Quite powerful.

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Headstall

Consider me impressed, Adi!! I haven't found any time to attempt this yet, but yours is intriguing... It made me think, and it flows... cheers... Gary...

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Aditus
On 10/07/2015 08:55 PM, Puppilull said:

Oh wow! The pressure is on now! That was grand! A clearly epic feel to it.

 

I must give my pitiful draft some TLC tonight.

No pressure, but I'm curious to read yours. :) Thank you, Puppi! :)

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Aditus
On 10/07/2015 11:16 PM, Cole Matthews said:

Interesting. I get a sense there is sarcasm in there and I'm not sure why. Or bitterness. Anyway, it definitely evoked a strong sense of disappointment or disgust. Quite powerful.

Thank you, Cole! That's the beauty in poetry, everyone sees different things. I'm glad it worked for you :).

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Aditus
On 10/08/2015 04:54 AM, Headstall said:

Consider me impressed, Adi!! I haven't found any time to attempt this yet, but yours is intriguing... It made me think, and it flows... cheers... Gary...

Oh wow! Thank you, Gary! Can't wait to read yours. :)

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J.HunterDunn

I'm very impressed. I like you singled out the Sybils and focussed on them. This ballade shows the difference between a poet and a rhymer, you being the former. Applause.

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Aditus
On 10/08/2015 06:45 AM, J.HunterDunn said:

I'm very impressed. I like you singled out the Sybils and focussed on them. This ballade shows the difference between a poet and a rhymer, you being the former. Applause.

:blush: Thank you, Peter! I'm not exactly the religious type, although I admire Michelangelo's work, which made me choose the sibyls. Before I wrote the poem, I did a little research and found them fascinating. *bows*

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AC Benus

This is a frickin brilliant poem! I don't know if you'll believe me or not, but when I discovered the wiki page with the full ceiling shown and mapped out, I thought, yeah – the oracles…they are interesting.

 

And here you have picked up on the same topic, and executed a really fine poem.

 

In terms of the Ballade form, I think you've done really well. Your refrain is powerful and integrated effortlessly (or so it seems ;) ) to end each stanza in a natural way. I also note how regular and wonderful your metre is, and how you flawlessly maintain the 8-syllable rhythm throughout! Bravo.

 

As far the slight blip with 'smart' and 'apart' not matching 'bard' etc., I bet you could eventually tweak that and make it perfect. Think about for a few days, and maybe a solution will reveal itself.

 

Thanks for taking the poetry prompt challenge, and for posting a stunner!

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Aditus
On 10/09/2015 01:46 AM, AC Benus said:

This is a frickin brilliant poem! I don't know if you'll believe me or not, but when I discovered the wiki page with the full ceiling shown and mapped out, I thought, yeah – the oracles…they are interesting.

 

And here you have picked up on the same topic, and executed a really fine poem.

 

In terms of the Ballade form, I think you've done really well. Your refrain is powerful and integrated effortlessly (or so it seems ;) ) to end each stanza in a natural way. I also note how regular and wonderful your metre is, and how you flawlessly maintain the 8-syllable rhythm throughout! Bravo.

 

As far the slight blip with 'smart' and 'apart' not matching 'bard' etc., I bet you could eventually tweak that and make it perfect. Think about for a few days, and maybe a solution will reveal itself.

 

Thanks for taking the poetry prompt challenge, and for posting a stunner!

Thank you, AC!!! Ha, you would find the blips. LOL One blip less now. Still fighting with apart, because I really like everything else in this line apart from apart.

Anyway, I could have never done this without your explanations and the fine example poems. This was a great challenge and I had fun...well not the whole time, there might have been some cursing too. :hug:

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Lisa

Great poem, Addy! :)

 

There's no way I could analyze it like AC, so I'm not even going to attempt to. lol

 

I really enjoyed reading it though! :)

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