A Decision for Jarren - 6. Chapter 6

Jarren and Mazen had returned to their home Tuesday night and Jarren was happy to wake up in his own bed on Wednesday morning. Bailey and Kelsey were on hospital duty. Troy was holding down the fort at Dad’s office and Robbie was in school. Mazen was going to pick him up and take him down to see Dad that afternoon. All of the kids had been there on Monday to support their mom while the surgery was going on.

Jarren ate breakfast and decided to check in with Troy at the office after he took a quick shower. He needed something to keep his mind occupied with something other than thoughts of a certain dark haired, blue eyed, amazing kisser that kept infiltrating his head. He had sent Nash a quick text yesterday to let him know that Dad was on the mend. He had gotten a two word reply ‘That’s good’. Jarren knew he should probably call him but he couldn’t quite gather up the nerve. He hated that they left things on an unsettled note.

Troy greeted his brother with a huge hug. He had the same blond hair and blue eyes as the rest of his siblings. He was a couple of inches shorter than the twins.

“Hey Troy, how’ve you been?” Jarren asked.

“Truthfully. I’ve had better weeks. The game sucked, what we were actually able to watch. I’m glad we missed the last half. At least we got to see part of the halftime show. That was OK. Not the best show ever, but not the worst either. I’m just happy that Dad is alright. It was pretty fucking scary seeing him lying in the goddamn snow with his foot on backwards.” he answered.

Jarren shook himself at the thought of his dad’s foot twisted around unnaturally.

Troy continued “I’m glad you’re back. There’s not too many jobs right now but Dad did have several projects going on. You and Mazen were always better with this stuff. I like sticking with the books.”

Troy had gone to college and received his degree in finance management. He took care of all of the accounting and payroll for Dalton Development. He was the one who did all the research and put together the numbers they needed for their presentation. Jarren knew he didn’t care for the day to day operation logistics. Right now Dad had crews out doing two home renovations and a restaurant overhaul. They were also working with an architect on plans for a new barn and enclosed riding arena for a local horse farm. They were hoping to get that started by April if the weather cooperated.

“What do you need me to do?” Jarren asked, happy that Troy hadn't been harping on him like everyone else had.

Troy smiled at him and said “Mazen is going to check on the two home renos, can you head over to the restaurant and make sure Brian isn’t overwhelmed?”

Jarren nodded. Brian was one of their top crew members. He was a hard worker, but he was young and didn’t have any experience overseeing a crew. Personally, Jarren was pretty sure Brian would be OK. He just needed to learn that he couldn’t let the crew get the upper hand. Brian was easygoing and hadn’t yet developed the hard ass attitude needed to keep some of these guys in line.

“Where are they at with the progress?” Jarren inquired, needing to know what stage they were in.

“Today they’re scheduled to remove the stoves and start on the flooring. Dave is there to cap the lines and make sure they don’t blow the place up, but I’d feel better if you were there too. The kitchen has been gutted except for the stove. They should be able to get the floors done by Friday. We have the new equipment scheduled for delivery on Monday.”

“OK. I’ll head over there and make sure they get it done right. Dave knows what he’s doing and he’s one of the more cautious ones.” replied Jarren.

The restaurant was a local Mexican joint that was known for its burritos and margaritas. Jarren had been there many times and loved the smothered burrito. He was happy for the owners that they had finally reached the point where business was going well and they could afford to update the restaurant. It had been an Italian place when they had bought it about ten years ago. At the time all they could afford to do was repaint and replace the tables and chairs. It was a decent size and could hold about 150 people. They were reconfiguring the dining area and adding space for a small private room that could accommodate up to 30 people. During really busy times the private area would be able to be opened up and utilized for regular dining if there were no small parties reserved. It would be a much better use of the space. The kitchen was getting new stoves, walk in refrigerators and freezers, and a larger food prep area. It would be much more efficient when done.

When Jarren got there he saw that everything was well under control. Brian and David had the gas shut off and all of the notifications and approvals were in order. Jarren stayed and helped David cap the gas lines after they were disconnected. They both held licenses and knew what they were doing. Jarren was always extra careful when dealing with gas lines. One mistake and entire neighborhoods could be blown to pieces. It had happened just last fall at the other end of the state. Extraordinarily high pressure in the gas lines caused the destruction of at least 80 homes and one death across three towns. It wasn’t the same situation but still, absolutely mind blowing.

Once the stoves were removed the crew went to work removing the old and mostly cracked tiles lining the floor. Jarren helped out, hauling the old stuff out to the huge dumpster they had out back. Besides Brian and David there were two other guys working this job, Brian’s friend Chase and a new guy Ben. Chase was another one of the employees that Jarren liked. He was hard working and also had a dry sense of humor that not too many people got but Jarren found hysterical. He didn’t know much about Ben, but so far he seemed to be working out well.

They broke for lunch and resumed working an hour later. Jarren was glad for the distraction. He left at three, knowing that the guys had everything under control. He wanted to get to the hospital before suppertime. Mazen and Robbie were probably already there as Robbie got out of school at two o’clock.

His dad was looking much better. He had managed to hobble several steps with help from the crutches and his therapist. Today it was an older woman who was working with him. She was just finishing up with Dad when Jarren walked in. His mom had gone shopping with Kathy to get some sweatpants that they could cut up the side to fit over Dad’s cast. He was sick of the hospital gown, and the work pants and jeans he normally wore wouldn’t fit over the cast.

Jarren had brought a deck of cards and a cribbage board and they took turns playing until Mom got back. Mom came in at five-thirty carrying two big bags from Walmart. No sense in spending a lot of money on clothes she was just going to cut. She had also bought some new underwear. Dad was a true tighty whitey man. The boys waited outside while Mom helped Dad put on normal clothes. The only thing he kept were the socks the hospital had given him. They had the non-skid stuff on them and were nice and thick. His toes were peeking out from the tip of the cast and the socks were stretchy enough to slide over the end, keeping his toes covered.

The three brothers left shortly after, stopping at Chipotle for food. Jarren got back to the house first as Mazen had to drop off Robbie. He decided to try and call Nash.

Jarren hit Nash’s contact and waited as the phone rang. After the fourth ring he heard that sexy deep voice say “Hello Jarren.”

“Hi Nash, um, I, uh, I just wanted to see how things were going,” he stuttered. ‘Fuck’ he thought, I sound like an idiot.

“They’re OK, Jarren. Andre put me on the hotel crew temporarily. There’s a flu bug going around and everyday he has guys calling in sick. How’s your dad doing?” Nash asked.

“He’s doing well. Hopefully he’ll be out on Friday. Sorry to hear about the flu, I hope you don’t get sick.” Jarren said.

“I had to get a flu shot so I should be alright.” Nash told him. Jarren could hear something in his tone of voice like he just said something he shouldn’t have.

“You had to get one? It wasn’t required for work. If it was then Andre wouldn’t have so many guys getting sick.” Jarren noted. He could hear Nash sigh gently.

“It’s just something I do every year. Just a habit I got into years ago.” Nash replied. “So, what are your plans? Are you going to stay up there to help your dad? Nash diverted the topic away from himself.

Jarren let it slide and answered “I’m not sure yet. I’m going to see how he does this weekend. Mazen and Troy have the business covered pretty well. Not too many projects going on. The bid presentation went well, I think. We won’t get an answer on that for a few weeks. They said they still had a couple of more companies bidding and then they had to take their recommendations to their board of directors before a final decision was made. I just need to play it by ear. I should know more after this weekend.” After a brief hesitation he added “Do you want me to come back?”

Nash was silent for a moment before he responded. “It’s complicated Jarren. I’m not sure if I’m in a place where I can try to be in a relationship. I’ve got some issues and a lot of emotional baggage. I wasn’t even sure you were gay until the other night. You never said anything, and I get the impression that you’re dealing with the reality of it and you’re not sure what you want. I just don’t know Jarren, if you coming back would be a good thing or not. I’m sorry I can’t tell you what I think you want to hear.”

“I’m glad you’re being honest with me. I do have issues regarding my sexuality. I guess I need to see if I can resolve them before I try to either move forward or move on.” Jarren admitted.

“Good luck with that. I really do hope you figure it out. Let me know when you make a decision. It seems like I have some thinking to do too. Goodnight Jarren.” Nash said before disconnecting the call.

Jarren sighed and flopped back onto his bed. He lay there contemplating a lot of things that were whirling through his mind when he heard Mazen come in a short time later. He got up and went to the kitchen where he took the beer that Mazen offered.

“Bro, you look like shit. You wanna talk about it?” Mazen asked.

Jarren just shook his head. “Nope.” was his only answer.

“OK then. Thanks for coming up. I could never have handled that presentation the way you did. I was impressed. I think we have a good shot at the contract, don’t you?” Mazen said, changing the subject.

Jarren nodded his agreement and grabbed a big piece of caramel nut brownie from the plate that Cassie had left for them and went into the living room. Mazen flicked the TV on and they watched an older comedy movie called The Heat with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. It proved to be a riot and provided a great distraction from everything that had been going on. When it was over the boys called it a night. It took Jarren a long time to fall asleep because his mind kept replaying the conversation with Nash. He really needed to get his shit together.

Thursday passed in a similar manner and on Friday Jarren met his mom at the McColm’s house early to bring her to the hospital. The doctor had told them last night that Dad could go home today. They were scheduled to meet with a social worker at nine so that arrangements for a home health aide and visiting nurse could be made.

His mom was ready to go when he got there at eight-thirty. They both thanked Kathy for everything she and Rick had done to help out. Maggie promised to take them to dinner when Bill was back on two feet. Kathy tried to brush it off, but Jarren’s mom was adamant. Jarren knew his mom would get her way.

The hospital discharge went smoothly although it took longer that Jarren thought it would. His parent’s insurance would cover having a home health aide come in every morning for one week to help his Dad get up and get ready for the day. A physical therapist was scheduled for daily visits as well and a nurse would come twice a week for the next two weeks. He was also scheduled for a follow up appointment with his orthopedic doctor in two weeks as well. Jarren figured his dad would be well taken care of. They were finally cleared to go after signing the discharge paperwork and instructed to call right away if there were any issues. Jarren could tell his dad was getting antsy and just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Jarren had driven his mom’s car as Dad wouldn’t have been able to get into a truck very easily. They got him comfortable in the back with his newly hard casted leg propped up along the seat and elevated with a couple of pillows. It was an easy ride and Dad tolerated it well. Once home they helped him into the house that Jarren had grown up in and settled his dad into a recliner with his legs up. Kelsey was there and she had made a big crock pot of beef stew and had just taken out her homemade cornbread from the oven. Jarren stayed for lunch and then made sure they were all set for the rest of the day. He knew his other siblings would stop by at some point as well. He checked in with Brian at the restaurant job site and all was going well. He spent the remainder of the day just hanging around his house watching an endless stream of mindless TV.

He woke up Saturday knowing it would be a day of reckoning for him. Somehow knowing that he had a major decision to make didn’t make getting out of bed any easier or any harder. He stretched and threw back the covers exposing his body to the cold air. They always turned the heat down at night and when the temperatures were in the single digits it made for a cold house, especially when all he wore to bed was a pair of soft cotton sleep pants. He grabbed a sweatshirt and a pair of socks and threw them on before shuffling his way into the bathroom. Looking in the mirror he asked himself out loud “Who the fuck am I and what the fuck am I doing.?”

The image of a handsome man with bed head, scruffy stubble and tired eyes didn’t bother to answer him. Jarren sighed and took care of his bladder, washed his hands, then he softly padded down the hall and into the kitchen where he got a pot of coffee started. He missed Danny and his morning banter. Jarren hadn’t realized how quiet Mazen was in the morning until he started living with Danny. He really didn’t mind his roommate’s chatter first thing. It usually helped wake him up. Now Jarren sat at the table and scrolled through various apps on his phone mindlessly. He eventually got up and poured himself a huge cup of coffee. The caffeine didn’t take too long to hit and by the time Mazen shuffled in an hour later he was wide awake.

Mazen mumbled an incoherent greeting to which Jarren just grunted a reply. Mazen wouldn’t be human until after his body had ingested at least two cups of coffee. It was the total opposite of his girlfriend Cassie. She was actually able to hold a conversation right when she got up. They were opposites in a lot of ways, but they balanced each other quite well. Cassie brought Mazen out of his quiet shell and he was more outgoing with her around. While no one could really tame Cassie’s exuberance for everything, she seemed to be able to control herself a little better around Mazen. Unless she was with Lex, then all bets were off. Those two fed off each other and when they really got going it was just better to leave the room. Their antics could get pretty loud and obnoxious. The fact that she had been so blunt with him earlier in the week was testament to the fact that she was very protective of those in her inner circle. Jarren had been a little pissed at her, but got over quickly. That was just the way Cassie was.

Jarren left his brother alone and went to take a shower. He nicked himself while shaving because he wasn’t paying attention, letting his mind linger on his insecurities. Stepping into the shower he was aware that his anxiety level was increasing and he just let the hot water wash over himself and tried to relax. He tried massaging his scalp as he washed his hair but ended up wishing it was Nash’s fingers touching his head. That led to thoughts of Nash touching other parts of his body, which of course led to a certain body part demanding attention. Jarren gripped his erection and stroked firmly. Thinking about Nash’s hard body had him on the edge quicky and it didn’t take long before he grunted and released several shots of cum against the shower wall. He rode out the final spasms and then watched the results swirl down the drain. He finished washing himself and made sure the walls were wiped clean as well. Jarren dried off and put on clean clothes, layering his upper half with a t-shirt, a long sleeve, ribbed Henley and then his sweatshirt. He could always remove a layer if he got too warm.

Mazen was finishing a bowl of cereal when he went back into the kitchen. Jarren poured another cup of coffee and sat across from his brother.

Mazen looked like he was going to say something and then stopped.

“Spit it out Maze, I know you have something to say.” Jarren instructed.

His brother replied ”I’m worried about you. I have some news and I hope it won’t stress you out even more than you already are. I asked Cassie to move in with me.”

Jarren started to speak but Mazen cut him off. “Shut up. She’s not going to move in here. There’s a house on Lex’s street that’s up for sale. We’ve put in an offer and it was accepted. I was going to tell you after the Super Bowl, but, you know.” Mazen shrugged.

Jarren smiled at his brother. He was happy for him. “Are you guys going to get married?”

Mazen’s eyes lit up and he answered “Yeah, she was the one who proposed to me. Can you believe it?”

Jarren snorted “It’s Cassie. Of course I believe it.”

Mazen laughed and continued. “She wants a fall wedding like Lex and Ian. They offered their place but it’s too small for what we’re going to have. Cassie knows we have a big family and doesn’t mind having a bunch of guests. We’re going to keep it small for this family however. Probably around fifty or sixty. Hell, just immediate family for us is like twenty. We’ve talked to Ian’s friend Duke, the guy who owns The Barn. He’s been thinking about creating an area to have weddings and parties out on the field behind the restaurant. He owns that land. I told him that maybe we could work something out and trade labor for catering.”

“Congratulations! You and Cassie fit together. I’m happy for you Mazen, I really am. Have you told the folks yet?” Jarren asked.

“Nope, again, was planning to after the game but Dad put a kink in that hose.” his brother replied. “We’re going to try again tomorrow. Expect a call or text from Mom. She’s planning on everyone being there for dinner tomorrow. You know, chaos at its finest.” Mazen rolled his eyes. Their family gatherings did tend to get a bit chaotic when all his siblings and their kids were together.

Sure enough an hour later Jarren got a call from his mom. He assured her that he would be there. He spent the rest of the morning helping Mazen draw up some preliminary sketches for what they jokingly dubbed the “The Party Corral”. Mazen would hand them over to an architect they liked to work with after he showed them to Duke.

After lunch he got a message from Lex asking him if he could go over there now. Jarren suspected that Ian and Cassie were ‘busy’ and Lex wanted to talk with him alone. He shot off a reply that he would be there shortly.

Sure enough, Lex was by himself when Jarren arrived. He greeted his friend with a hug and declined Lex’s offer of food or drink. They sat at the kitchen table across from each other. Halo, Lex’s dog came over at sat at Jarren’s feet and rested her chin on his knee, or rather she tried to. Halo was an odd looking dog. She had the body of a German shepherd, the head of beagle and everything was balanced on Basset hound legs. Her ears stuck out from the side of her head like two perfect triangles. Comical though her appearance was, she was a great dog with the sweetest disposition. Because Jarren was tall and she was short, her muzzle just barely came up to his knees and her pretty golden amber eyes looked up at the familiar human with adoration. Jarren appeased her by stroking her soft ears, with an occasion scratch thrown in.

Lex started off “Talk to me Jarren. I can see it written all over you. Tell me about him.”

Jarren softly shook his head. It seemed like he couldn’t ever hide anything from his friend and decided to lay it all on the table. “His name is Nash, and he’s, well he’s incredible. I just don’t know where I fit in.” Jarren went on to tell Lex about meeting Danny and getting the job that led him to Nash. He explained his ever growing attraction to his coworker. He told him what happened after the Super Bowl and about the conversation they had on the phone. Jarren laid out all of his insecurities about being gay and not liking it. When he felt that Lex was caught up he let out a big sigh and dropped his head into his hands.

“What do I do Lex?” Jarren lamented.

Lex reached across the table and laid his hand over Jarren’s and forced him to look at him. “I can’t tell you what to do about Nash. That’s something you have to figure out on your own. The other stuff? Jarren you admit that you’re gay, even though you don’t like it, it’s a fact that you can’t change. You have to figure out a way to accept that part of yourself. You need someone who will make it worth it. So ask yourself, is Nash worth it? If so you need to tell him. If not then you need to let it go and keep being miserable with yourself. Being gay isn’t a death sentence Jarren, and you have to stop acting like it is. Does it make things harder? Sometimes. It sounds like Nash is working out some issues of his own. You know the best advice I ever got was from Cassie. She told me I had to learn to trust myself. That’s what you need to do Jarren. Trust yourself to become the person you’re meant to be. Everything else will fall into place.”

He let Lex’s words sink in and in doing so Jarren felt something inside himself click into place. He was calm for the first time in a really long time. Lex was right. Being gay wasn’t something he had to dislike. It was something he had chosen to. He smiled at his friend, feeling optimistic instead of pessimistic. Deep down inside he knew he needed to take Lex's advice and start trusting himself. He stood up and pulled Lex into a hug. “Thank you, I think I need to make plans for another long drive.” he said. Halo lay at his feet, belly up, so of course Jarren had to bend down and give her a well deserved belly rub.

Lex chuckled and looked at him closely and replied “I think you’ll be OK Jarren. I really hope that this Nash is the one for you. It’s time for you to be happy again.”

Now that the serious conversation was over, Lex sent a text to his husband letting him know the coast was clear. Ian and Cassie must have been with Mazen because all three traipsed in together from the cold. They carried in some grocery bags filled with food and snacks. Mazen had a case of beer and Cassie had bought her favorite mixer, Fireball and Rumchata. Jarren made that mistake once, those two ingredients mixed together went down so smoothly, then hit you like a brick wall. That type of hangover he could do without. He pulled his future sister-in-law into a big hug and thanked her for taking Mazen off his hands. Cassie gave him a kiss on the cheek and then smacked his arm. The rest of Saturday afternoon was filled with friends, food, drink and college basketball. They partied well into the evening and Jarren felty happy and it showed. He just might be able to move forward after all.