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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

A Decision for Jarren - 18. Chapter 18

Time to find out what happened.

“Nash?” Jarren mumbled as his brain tried to figure out why his eyes wouldn’t open. It took several tries and way more concentration than it should have, but finally one eyelid slowly slid upward, the other following a few moments later. Jarren couldn’t make out very much as the light was dim, wherever he was. His mouth felt dry and he couldn’t figure out why he was so hungover, He didn’t remember drinking.

“Nash!?” he croaked out again, still getting no answered. Instead a woman wearing scrubs appeared with a smile.

“You’re finally awake! I’m Renee. I need to ask you a few questions, OK?” she said softly.

Jarren tried to nod but it felt like his head had been cut in half. He looked around, trying to get his bearings, but focusing his vision seemed too difficult. The woman, uh, Renee, pushed a button on his bed and he felt himself being raised up to a semi-reclining position. She then turned and flicked on a soft light that was over a sink and counter to the right of where he was laying. It caused a brief spike of pain to shoot through his skull, but it faded as his eyes adjusted.

“Can you tell me your name?” she asked.

“Jarren. Jarren Dalton.” he replied slowly.

“Good, Jarren do you know where you are?” was next.

Jarren looked around, his eyes cooperating at last and his brain finally kicked in and he answered, “Hospital?”

Renee gave him an encouraging smile. She asked him several more questions, all of which he managed to answer. Finally, getting frustrated he interrupted her. “Where’s Nash? What happened to him?” he demanded.

Renee looked at her computer and told him “Nash is the man who you were brought in with?” He nodded. “It looks like he’s up on the 6th floor in ICU. I’ll call up and find out how he’s doing. Are you related?”

Jarren shook his head, eliciting another stab of pain. “He’s my boyfriend, I need to know that he’s OK.”

Renee gave him a reassuring look and told him “I won’t be able to give you specifics about his condition because of HIPPA privacy laws, but I will tell you what I can. If he’s able to speak for himself, then we can get his permission to keep you in the loop, alright? I’m going to page your doctor and I’ll find out what’s happening with your boyfriend while we wait.”

Jarren sighed, but he understood that she had to follow policy. Renee turned and he watched her leave the room. The nurse’s station was right outside and he closed his eyes while she made her calls. It was several minutes later when he heard her return and he opened up his eyes.

“Your doctor will be here shortly. You suffered a pretty bad concussion and you have a couple of severe bruises, the worst is across your shoulder where your seatbelt harness kept you from flying out of the vehicle. We have you on some IV painkillers and now that you’re awake Dr. Mayfield will probably switch you to a pump. I spoke with the ICU nurse and she told me your friend is stable, He had some severe injuries and required surgery. I can’t go into specifics without consent, but I can tell you that they have him heavily sedated and will keep him that way through the night. They’ll wake him up tomorrow to assess him, but right now it looks like there’s nothing life threatening, so try to relax. Barring some unforeseen complication it looks like he’ll be OK.”

“That goes for you too,” a masculine voice said as a man wearing royal blue scrubs walked into the room. “I’m Dr. Mayfield, it’s good to see you awake.” Jarren was thankful he spoke quietly, he didn’t think his head could take any loud voices or noises. Jarren listened as Dr. Mayfield consulted with Renee and she rattled off his latest vitals and her initial assessment. He, of course did his own assessment as well, asking Jarren questions to determine his alertness, listening to his heart and lungs. Jarren wanted to scream when he needed to check his pupil’s reactiveness by shining a light into his eyes. It felt like the light was a white hot laser searing his brain.

Dr. Mayfield explained gently that he had suffered a major concussion, severe enough that it was considered a traumatic brain injury. In other words, his head got knocked so hard that it caused a massive bruise to his brain. Jarren processed that fact slowly. The doctor also told him that there was some swelling and they were going to send him for another MRI later in the morning to check and see if it had started to subside. In all likelihood he would be in the hospital for several days, until they were sure that there would be no further damage.

Dr. Mayfield left after leaving orders to have his pain meds switched over to a pump which would allow Jarren to control when he needed more. All he would have to do was hit the button that would be secured to his bed rail and the pump would automatically deliver the correct dosage. The pump was computerized and would only distribute the amount of meds it was programmed to. If Jarren reached the maximum dosage within a certain time frame the computer wouldn’t allow any more until the right amount of time passed. It would also track how often Jarren hit the button so the medication could be adjusted accordingly.

Renee helped Jarren get comfortable and then asked him if he would like her to call anyone for him. He gave her Mazen’s name and phone number as well as his parent’s. It was two of the few he could remember. His mom had once commented that no one memorized phone numbers anymore, they were all stored in cell phones. Jarren could now see how that could be an issue. He had no idea where his phone was, if it even survived the accident.

"What time is it?" Jarren asked.

Renee checked her watch and told him, "It's just after three a.m., you need to get some rest. I'm sorry, but I'll have to check you every half hour for the rest of the night. We need to monitor you closely. I'll be back in a little while."

Once Renee was gone Jarren allowed himself to drift back into unconsciousness. He was vaguely aware of being woken up each time Renee came in during the rest of the night as she checked on him and got new sets of vitals.

When Jarren finally awoke the room was brighter, sunlight peeking through a small gap in the curtains. He could hear activity outside his room as the daily routine of the hospital took place. His head still hurt, but it was now hovering in the same category as ‘severe hangover’ instead of ‘massively bruised brain’. A new nurse came in and introduced herself as Kaitlyn. She did her own assessment and asked if he was hungry. Jarren told her no. He was actually feeling nauseous and she said that was normal. He spent most of the early morning drifting in and out of sleep.

Around nine o’clock, an orderly came in and told Jarren that he was going to take him down for a new MRI. The man raised the head of the bed up a little and then handed him a small basin, saying, “In case you feel like hurling. I’ve seen it before, plenty of times so don’t feel embarrassed. Head injuries mess with your equilibrium and you may get a little motion sickness when I start rolling you down the hall.”

“Thanks for the warning.” Jarren managed to say. He did feel a little queasy and he figured he probably would have hurled if there was anything in his stomach. He couldn’t remember when he ate last. He wasn’t really sure how much time had passed since the accident.

Jarren managed to endure the swaying motion that occurred when they transferred him from his bed to the MRI machine. The whirring noise grated annoyingly on his nerves, but it was over soon enough and he was settled back in his room less than an hour after he had left.

Kaitlyn came in to check on him and changed out his bag of IV fluid. As she did so he realized that he felt like he needed to pee and told her so.

“You don’t have to worry about that for a while, you still have a catheter that will stay in until you’re able to stand up on your own, so most likely tomorrow. You need to rest. If your brain has to concentrate on too many things it slows the healing process. Let Dr. Mayfield see how your MRI results are and he’ll let you know what you can and can’t do.” she told him.

“OK, can you check on Nash for me? Renee told me last night they were going to wake him up today. I need to know he’s awake. Please? Renee said she’d leave a note in my chart.” Jarren pleaded.

Kaitlyn tapped on the keyboard and read Renee’s notes and then told him “I’ll call up there right now for you. Just give me a few minutes.”

Jarren was impatient. He had an overwhelming urge to get out of bed, his body just wouldn’t let him. Dammit.

Kaitlyn was gone about ten minutes. She was smiling when she returned. “Good news, Your friend is awake, but still pretty out of it, which is to be expected. He was asking for you. His nurse told him you were OK. It seemed like he was getting agitated so they had to give him something to calm him down. Apparently he’s a little possessive of you and said if anyone hurt you they’d have to answer to him.” she giggled. “He did give us verbal permission to update you, so what we know so far is that the impact of the collision crumpled the front of the truck. He was pinned in and the first responders had to use the Jaws of Life to get him out. His left foot was crushed and mangled pretty badly. The trauma surgeon did what he could, but wasn’t able to save it. He had to amputate just above the ankle.”

Tears slid down Jarren’s face as he absorbed the news. Nash had lost so much in his life already, why did he have to lose his foot too? “When can I see him?’ he asked.

Kaitlin handed him a box of tissues and replied “Let’s see what Dr. Mayfield says and then we can ask Nash’s doctor if it’s OK. I don’t think they’ve told Nash yet, his nurse said he was still pretty loopy with the painkillers. Do you want to give us permission to update him with your condition if he asks?"

"Of course. " Jarren said.

Just then there was a knock on the door jamb and Jarren looked up to see Mazen and his Mom in the doorway. They must have taken the first flight out this morning. His mom was crying as she came over and enveloped her son in a tight embrace. She kissed his forehead, looked him over from head to toe before standing up straight and then let loose. “Jarren Alexander Dalton! Don’t you ever scare me like that again! I nearly had a heart attack when they called me in the middle of the night. First your father and now you. Are you trying to send me to an early grave? So help me if you had died I would have stormed the afterlife to bring you back and tan your hide before throwing you back to the devil himself!”

Mazen stood behind her rolling his eyes, laughing silently. Jarren knew as soon as she had whipped out his full name that she was in a lather. Every kid knows that Mom means business when the middle name gets used. Mazen and Jarren had always thought that was the only reason people even had middle names. How else do you know if you’re in big trouble versus just a little trouble without the middle name to gauge your Mom’s reaction?

Mom was still glaring at him when, without turning around, she continued “And you, Mazen Nathaniel Dalton better stop rolling your eyes and laughing before you end up in a bed next to your brother.” Mazen stopped immediately. Damn those eyes that all parents grew in the back of their heads, especially mothers.

Kaitlyn stepped in and led Jarren’s mom away from the bed, saying “Mrs. Dalton, Jarren has a major concussion. I promise you can yell at him all you want, just not today. He needs to rest. I was just telling him that Dr. Mayfield should have the results of his latest MRI soon. Why don’t you go get some lunch while Jarren rests. The doctor should be here in about an hour or so. I need to help Jarren get washed up. He’s not going anywhere and you can fuss over him all you want this afternoon.”

His mom gave him another kiss, then Mazen led her out of the room. “Thank you” he said to Kaitlyn. “She’s not usually like this, but my dad broke his leg two months ago and I think that hospital trip is still fresh in her mind.” Jarren said.

“Don’t worry, I have ten year old twins that keep me on my toes. I know how she feels. One of mine landed in the hospital for a week when he was in an accident. It’s the scariest moment a parent can live through, being told that one of their children was rushed to the hospital. It’s the not knowing that makes you feel helpless, so try to cut her some slack. I can see how much she loves you.” Kaitlyn said.

“Let’s get you cleaned up a little, it’ll make you feel a whole lot better,” Kaitlyn assured him. She left briefly and when she returned, went into the bathroom and filled a basin with warm water. Jarren washed his face and Kaitlyn helped with the rest of him. Modesty was secondary to the need to feel clean. Jarren still had dried blood down his side and back from the head wound, which received clean bandages as well as a thorough inspection of the stitches to make sure infection wasn’t setting in. Jarren held his arms out as Kaitlyn expertly threaded his IV lines through the clean gown so they wouldn’t get tangled up. She snapped the clips together and then got him settled back. She had even managed to change the sheets with minimal movement required from him, for which he was grateful. Just that little bit of activity had tired him out. He hit the button for a dose of medication and closed his eyes, drifting off before Kaitlyn had even left the room.

His nap was short lived when Dr. Mayfield came in about twenty minutes later. Mazen and his mom had come in while he was asleep and Mom was sitting in a chair with Mazen perched on the edge. Introductions were made and then Dr. Mayfield asked Jarren if it was alright to discuss his condition and prognosis with his Mom and brother. Jarren merely nodded, still sleepy from the meds.

“Well Jarren, the MRI showed that there is still some significant swelling, but it’s not as bad as it was when you first came in. That’s exactly what I was hoping for. I’m going to keep you here for several days to monitor you. Brain injuries can be fickle. It’s better to keep you here and keep a close watch for any changes. The nurses know what to look for and if you continue to progress in the right direction, meaning continued lessening of the swelling until your brain tissue is back to normal, less severe headaches and less pain in general I can tentatively look at discharging you by the end of the week as long as you have someone to watch you for a couple of weeks. I’m afraid you’re going to have to deal with bad headaches for a while, but that should gradually improve as well. Do you have any questions for me?”

“When can I see Nash?” Jarren demanded.

“Is he the man who was brought in with you?” Dr. Mayfield inquired.

“Yes, he’s in the ICU. I need to see him.” Jarren responded.

“I’ll tell you what, you do as you’re told and follow my orders and I’ll have someone take you up later tonight if it's OK with his doctor. Right now I want you to rest. I’m going to put in an order for Physical Therapy to come in and do an assessment. You need to start moving, but you have to have someone with you when you do. In all likelihood you’re going to get very dizzy the first time you stand up, so don’t do anything stupid like trying it on your own. If you tolerate the therapy well, then I’ll allow you to get in a wheelchair to go see your boyfriend. Deal?” Dr. Mayfield offered.

“Deal.” Jarren agreed, He would agree to anything as long as it meant getting to see Nash.

Dr. Mayfield and Kaitlyn left. Mazen looked at Jarren and asked him “Is there anyone you need me to call for you? Does your boss know what happened?”

Jarren’s eyes widened “Shit! What day is it?”

“Saturday,” Mazen answered.

“Oh fuck! Liam! Where’s my phone? Do you know what happened to it?” I don’t know John’s number, it’s in my phone!” Jarren was nearly at panic level.

“Jarren, calm down,” his Mom ordered. “Mazen, go see if the nurse knows what happened to his phone.”

Mazen left and when he returned a few moments later he was holding a bag with some of Jarren’s personal belongings. His wallet and phone were amongst the few items in the bag. His clothing had been cut away from him and presumably thrown away. Jarren breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that the phone was relatively unscathed and still had 40% left of its battery life. He pulled up John’s number and hit the icon to connect.

The phone only rang once before John picked up. “Jarren? Are you OK? What happened? You guys didn’t show up at the farm this morning. Everyone has been worried sick.” Jarren could hear Liam in the background asking if it was him.

Jarren quickly explained “John, we were in an accident last night. We’re alive, but I haven’t had a chance to see Nash yet. His foot was crushed and they had to amputate it.” Jarren’s eyes filled up once again. “I’ve got a concussion and they’re going to keep me for a few days. My mom and brother are here, they flew in this morning. Can you let Maddie and Jeff know what happened?”

John answered “Sure thing Jarren, I’m sorry about Nash, but I’m happy you guys are alive. I saw the accident on the news last night. It was pretty bad. I never thought it could be someone I know. Are you able to talk to Liam? He’s been beside himself with worry.”

Jarren told John to put him on. “Jarren? What happened? I’ve been so scared!” Liam's voice reflected his concern.

“Hey Buddy, I’m sorry we scared you. I’m alright and Nash is going to be OK too. I haven’t seen him yet but a couple of really nice nurses have been keeping me updated. I’m hoping I can see him later. I promise I’ll call you after I see him. Yes, no matter how late it is. I’m sure John will make an exception to your bedtime. Listen, I’m getting tired again. I hit my head really hard and the medication they're giving me makes me sleepy. I’ll call you later,” Jarren assured him and then ended the call after Liam said good-bye.

He handed his phone to Mazen and asked “Can you call Andre for me. He’s our boss. I don’t know if he’s aware of what happened. I need to rest. I’m wiped out and my head hurts.”

Mazen told him he would take care of everything and his Mom said they’d be back later. They were going to check into the hotel and then update the rest of the family as well as Lex and Ian. Jarren fell asleep again as soon as his eyes closed. This time the nurses let him sleep until the physical therapist arrived a couple of hours later. The uninterrupted rest had been good for him.

The doctor was correct and as Jarren stood up for the first time a massive wave of vertigo hit. His therapist was a pretty big guy which was a good thing as he was able to safely lower Jarren back to the bed when he nearly toppled over. Jarren wouldn’t give up and on his third try he was able to stand on his own for over a minute before the world started spinning once more. It was like taking the worst ever drunken bed spins and multiplying by 100.

It was good enough, however, and when he saw Renee from the night before come in the room he gave her a big grin. “So I get to go see Nash, right?” he announced.

Renee smiled back and looked at him as she answered “I don’t think a herd of wild horses would be able to stop you, would they?”

Directing her attention straight at Jarren she told him “You eat some of your dinner and I’ll take you up on my break. I know you don’t feel like eating, but you need the nutrition. It will help you heal.”

Jarren nodded and then settled back to impatiently await his dinner tray. When it arrived he was relieved to see a simple turkey and cheese sandwich accompanied by a small salad. Dessert was a container of vanilla pudding. Not really his favorite, but he’d make do just so he could see Nash. Jarren ate most of the salad and half of the sandwich. He even managed two bites of the bland pudding.

Mazen and his Mom came in as he was finishing up. Renee came to check on him and removing the tray she informed him “My break starts in ten minutes. Don’t try to get up without me here. No Nash if you do, got it Mister?”

Jarren agreed and to him the next ten minutes seemed like ten hours. Mom assured Renee that she would make sure he stayed put until she got back.

Renee finally returned with a wheelchair. She and Mazen steadied him as he transferred from the bed to the chair. Renee told his mom and brother that they would have to wait for Jarren to come back as only immediate family or approved visitors were allowed in the ICU. They told Jarren they would go grab some dinner and come back before visiting hours were over.

By the time they reached the elevator Jarren was practically ready to bolt, he was so impatient. Renee told him to knock it off. The doors opened onto a wide open space with a central nurse’s station surrounded by rooms with glass walls facing the station so that the nurses could see their patients at all times. Renee wheeled Jarren to a room on the right and as he got his first look at Nash, tears slid down his face.

Nash had his eyes closed and various wires and tubes were hooked up to him. Renee parked Jarren’s wheelchair next to the bed and locked the wheels saying that she would be back in a half hour.

Jarren reached over and took Nash’s hand in his and brought his lips down over the warm skin. Nash stirred and slowly opened his eyes. It took a few seconds before he could focus enough to register the worried blue gaze that stared back at him.

“Jarren?” he croaked out in a raspy voice.

Jarren leaned over as far as he was able, resting his cheek on Nash’s ribs and looked up at him, now openly crying. He felt Nash’s hand rest gently on the back of his head, just barely stroking his hair. Tears fell from Nash’s eyes as well. They didn’t speak, they just cried, thankful that the other was there.

After a few moments they were able to get their shit together and Jarren sat up, still keeping Nash’s hand locked together with his. He wiped his eyes with his other hand before speaking. “I was so scared when I woke up. The last thing I remember is seeing you hanging upside down, Nash, you weren’t moving.” Jarren told him as he took a deep breath to steady himself.

Nash cleared his throat, his voice still rough from being intubated during his surgery. He answered “The last thing I remember was turning on the wipers as the rain started. Everything else after that is just blank. Jarren, what the fuck happened? I feel so sludgy, it’s like my head is floating somewhere else. What happened to you? You look like shit.”

Jarren started to chuckle, then winced as a stab of pain shot through his head. “From what I’ve been told we were hit by a truck hauling a huge camper and flipped over several times. They had to cut you out of your truck. I must have slammed my head against something. I’ve got a boatload of stitches and a major concussion. My head hurts like a bitch. They’re keeping me here for several days.”

Nash reached out and cupped Jarren’s cheek with a soft caress before speaking again. “Jarren, they cut off my foot.” More tears started to fall.

“Nash, I know. I’m sorry. I”m here for you, we’ll deal with this together. OK?” Jarren told him. He didn’t want to say that it would be OK because losing a part of yourself was never OK. Nash would have to deal with it and learn to live with it his own way.

Jarren laid his head back down on top of Nash’s chest and they both took comfort from the other’s touch. Renee came back and gently told Jarren it was time to go. They both needed more rest. Jarren was exhausted, his eyes droopy. Nash managed to lean over and gave Jarren a soft kiss before leaning back and closing his own eyes.

Jarren barely registered the ride back to his room. Mazen and his mom were still there and Jarren was vaguely aware of Renee and Mazen helping him back to bed. Somehow his fuzzy brain remembered his promise and he asked Mom to call Liam for him. Renee hooked his IV back up and clicked the button for a dose of pain meds for him. It was only a matter of moments before he was fast asleep.

OK, so I could really use some feedback. I have another 12 or 13 chapters done, but my self doubt has been creeping in and I feel like this story isn't as good as I think it should be. It may just be my inexperience with writing, but I guess I just need some reassurance that this story isn't total shit so I can figure out how it's supposed to end. I don't have writer's block, but I definitely have writer's scatter brain.
I'd still love a beta reader so I can bounce ideas around if anyone's interested. (PM me)
P.S. East coast folks stay safe as this stubborn storm figures out what the hell it wants to do! (Maybe Jarren's name should have been Dorian)
Copyright © 2019 kbois; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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I loved your last story and this one just gets better as it unfolds  cant wait for the next chapter

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2 hours ago, starboardtack said:

This story is so far from being "total shit" you'd need a passport to visit it! (No idea what that means but go with it!) This is such strong, cleanly written, and honest piece of work. And most importantly, you avoid the sticky sweet cliches that so often show up in these stories -- I literally (and yes, it was literally) gasped when you wrote that Nash lost his foot. You are an extraordinary storyteller and a fine craftsman. If you ever need to be reminded of that, please touch base and I will say it again.

Thank you starboardtack. I really appreciate your thoughts.  I'm feeling a little more confident now.  The boys were always going to have to face some major trauma.  That was in the cards from day one.  I'm happy that I went this way, even though it meant that Nash lost his foot.  I'm still not sure if I fit the category extraordinary storyteller, but I sincerely appreciate your opinion.  It means a lot! 

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2 hours ago, Rupert said:

I’m loving the story. Keep going.

Thanks Rupert! I'm still not sure how the ending is going,  but I'll get there eventually! 

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51 minutes ago, James B. said:

I am so ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ing this. You are doing great but I really want the next chapter or 2. I can't handle the suspense.

Sorry James,  you're just going to have to wait.  I don't have an ending yet and the last thing I want is to have the posted chapters catch up to what I've already written.  I don't have half as much time to write as I did when I wrote Tattoo, so I get a little frustrated when I hit a wall. Just be patient! 

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49 minutes ago, mike59 said:

I loved your last story and this one just gets better as it unfolds  cant wait for the next chapter

Thanks! I'm a little antsy because I  feel like I should be closer to wrapping this up but Jarren is being stubborn again.  He can be a jerk. 

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24 minutes ago, ninecila said:

I love the story, please keep writing! It is far, far away from being total shit. It is will written with an interesting plot and great pace

Thank you!  I really appreciate the support!

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This has been a great story so far. Every bit as good as A Tattoo for Lex, which was excellent. I'm always looking forward to the next chapter.

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I enjoyed the Lex story and the tatoo was beautifully described> I am enjoying this story as well. My concern was with the element of BDSM which crept in. I am looking forward to Nash adapting to life sans foot. Would like to see them adopt Liam and have that as a cornerstone to building a family life. As with Lex a nice piece of writing and a thoroughly engaging story

Edited by joebuck
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1 hour ago, Estiveo said:

This has been a great story so far. Every bit as good as A Tattoo for Lex, which was excellent. I'm always looking forward to the next chapter.

Thank you Estiveo, I truly appreciate your kind words.  Next chapter should be up on schedule! 

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47 minutes ago, joebuck said:

I enjoyed the Lex story and the tatoo was beautifully described> I am enjoying this story as well. My concern was with the element of BDSM which crept in. I am looking forward to Nash adapting to life sans foot. Would like to see them adopt Liam and have that as a cornerstone to building a family life. As with Lex a nice piece of writing and a thoroughly engaging story

Thank you!  Lex's story was fun to write.  

As far as this once goes... it's getting there.  The boys now have some major hurdles to overcome before they can contemplate trying to take on the challenges of integrating Liam into their lives.  Nash needs to come to grips with losing a physical part of himself.  

Don't be too concerned about the BDSM factor. Nash has already said that he looked into the lifestyle and it wasn't really for him.  He and Jarren are just enjoying a little spice in their sex life.  I think as long as they both enjoy what they're doing,  well hell, why not? Sometimes ya just gotta let go of your inhibitions! 😉

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2 hours ago, kbois said:

Sorry James,  you're just going to have to wait.  I don't have an ending yet and the last thing I want is to have the posted chapters catch up to what I've already written.  I don't have half as much time to write as I did when I wrote Tattoo, so I get a little frustrated when I hit a wall. Just be patient! 

That's okay, I understand.

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1 hour ago, spyke said:

This is a really great transition from A Tatoo for Lex. Many of the characters are familiar, but it is Jarren's story and I'm very much enjoying it.  You are a talented writer and storyteller.  Please don't even think about abandoning this story. I can't wait for the next chapter.  

That is just what I needed to hear.  I didn't want this to be a continuation of 'Tattoo'. You're right, it's Jarren's story and I'm glad you see it as such. I'm not going to abandon the story.  I just have to figure out the ending! 

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1 hour ago, Thomas Haworth said:

Wow. This is quite a chapter in their lives.

I don't usually comment about writing, as usually, if I notice the writing, I am not engaged in the story enough to keep my interest. In this chapter, I did not notice anything other than the story and the character interactions. 

That said, I can look back and say some things about this story that may interest you as an author. I found the characters' interactions to be natural and believable: I did not notice anything jarring or anything that pulled me out of the story.

Good work!

Thank you for your honesty.  It's nice to hear that what I'm writing is working and flowing the way it should.  It goes a long way toward setting my mind at ease.  

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Definitely not total shit.  It is well written and very cohesive.   Your characters, as always, are interesting and engaging.  I feel so bad for them, especially Nash who lost a foot.   I look forward to reading more.  

 

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3 hours ago, avidreadr said:

Definitely not total shit.  It is well written and very cohesive.   Your characters, as always, are interesting and engaging.  I feel so bad for them, especially Nash who lost a foot.   I look forward to reading more.  

 

You are doing a fantastic job on this story, I am so ready for the next chapter.

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Self Doubt?  Sorry you feel that way but rest assured it's not necessary.  This is an amazing story and I've been enjoying it immensely.

Your writing style is great and while I haven't read the story that precedes this one I'm catching up on it.

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12 hours ago, avidreadr said:

Definitely not total shit.  It is well written and very cohesive.   Your characters, as always, are interesting and engaging.  I feel so bad for them, especially Nash who lost a foot.   I look forward to reading more.  

 

Thank you!  I've been skimming over the future chapters that I've written and have come to the conclusion that while they need a lot of editing,  they actually make sense.  Hopefully everyone will agree! Thanks for your support! 

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