Well...yesterday was like absolutely nothing went on at all. A typical day of get up, eat breakfast, go to school, come home, eat dinner, do homework, kill a bunch of Bornean Bears to farm shin bones or something in my game, and then finally sleep.
No one even came online to talk to or play with so I was like playing alone last night. That sometimes feels even more lonely then when you are just alone in your room reading a book. It’s like double-alone...I don't suppose that makes any sense to anyone who hasn't played one of these so called Massively Multiplay Online Roll Playing Games (MMORPGs). Oh lord! I'm starting to put acronyms in parentheses! OMG! I'm starting to use words like 'acronym'! :o
I'm going to nerdsville, aren't I? Oh Lawdie Hep Me!
Anyways, today was a little more eventful, I guess. We had a fire drill which is always organized chaos as far as I'm concerned. Like anyone is actually going to do this stuff if a real fire started. Yeah right...I know I'd be running for the fence on the far side of the school to jump over it and get gone! To HELL with the front door! We'd all be cooked alive before we all got through that stupid thing! Oh well...there's the genius of our School Administration again. So stupid!
I'm glad it wasn't anything really scary because the way we were all pressed up against one another would have been a great opportunity for a soccer stadium style massacre! We'd all smash or trample each other to absolute jelly trying to get out in an 'orderly fashion'. Oy vey!
Cedrick told me once about something that went on in England years ago and they still talk about it like it was yesterday. I've even watched the crazy YouTube of it. There was this guff at some soccer (football - oh lawdie here I go again with the parens!) game and basically a riot started, I guess.
So all the stupid fans wanted to rush the field and I guess, well, KILL the referees or whoever for some dumb flag dropped for no reason and so the Apocalypse basically happened. People falling out of the bleachers and masses of people shoving other masses of people into the chain link fence that separated the crazies from the soccer players. Some of the poor people smashed up against the chain link were turned into red jelly.
Blood, fire, death, mayhem, I guess the new Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, all had a showing on that day long ago in that soccer stadium. Hence...(oh gawd now I'm writing 'Hence' in things - in parens yet) Soccer Stadium Massacre.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, the Brits are way more serious about their sports than we are over here in the States! WAY more!
So today's fire drill: soccer stadiums, jelly, fires, pushing and...boobs in my back.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, I had boobs in my back and I mean they were pushed in there pretty dang hard too! What is more is I had boobs in my back and hands on my butt. What is worse is that I was pressed up against a guy who was just a little shorter than me with dark brown hair and...a really nice bubble butt of his own. He also had the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen. This was not good!
My Umpher rose to the occasion. 'Oh no it di'int' you say? Oh yes it DID...er....big time, hehehehe!
It was being pressed into his backside by hands on my backside. I was a total Brandon Sandwich...bisexual style! Naturally, much to my horror and embarrassment, my umpher umphed itself right into the poor guy's ass crack when some ape from the back pushed us all forward to get through the stupid door faster!
Fortunately the little guy just sort of looked up at me with those pretty eyes and grinned shyly and shrugged. I mouthed 'sorry' at him and he just blushed and then we were out the door and everything was forgotten.
I tried looking around to see who my 'boobifier' was, but she was gone into the sea of other giggling teen girls straying over to the 'meet-up" place, more or less.
Looking around a bit more I caught sight of Billy right behind Jamie. Jamie was oblivious as usual, but Billy was...wow he looked stoned, dude! He kept looking at Jamie's back and hair and...butt and just totally mooning over the jerk. I mean...whatever Billy. If you only knew...
He tried to nonchalantly wander away from Jamie like he didn't care or anything, but with all those long lingering looks he really looked like he was having hero worship issues with Jamie.
Wow! Wow!! Could it be? Could it really be? Billy....likes Jamie! Yeah...in THAT way. Also, as I remember, Billy has given ME those same lingering kinds of looks too. Maybe not so intense, but...maybe!
Ok, I'll come right out and put it down for you, Nameless Hacker! Maybe Billy Chase is Gay like me! Oh precious Baby Jesus I hope so! I just realized this writing it here!
I swear I can be dense as granite sometimes. How could I NOT see this in Billy? Now that I look back on all our interactions it’s blatantly obvious! (Blatantly?) The staring matches and the cute little conversations we've had in the library.
If he's Gay I wish he'd just come out and ask me if I am too. Wow...right. That's dumber than Hell. No teen boy in his right mind would cop to that out of the blue. I know I certainly wouldn't. But....~sigh~ I wish he would be the courageous one here. I wish he'd probe me a little deeper to see what makes me tick where he's concerned.
Wow...probe me a little deeper? Hehehehe! I had to go giggle into my pillow over that one. That was too funny!
I'm turning into a TOTAL perv where Billy is concerned. He just makes me feel all like jello inside sometimes. I wish that I didn't care about him so much and want him so much. I don't know him well enough to know who he is really. I get little windows into his mind and his life when we talk, but our talks are so brief.
I mean I could talk to Billy for hours and never get bored at all with him. He fascinates me, you know? He just DOES! Every little thing he does is magic and it scares me how much he plays on my thoughts all the time.
I don't like getting attached to people like this and letting hopes for things build where I know they probably have no footing at all to rest on. I know I'm probably setting myself up for some real heartache, but...I just can't help it.
I've become obsessed with him! The highlight of my day is when he and I are in the Library together just chit chatting and giggling and trying not to get in trouble with that bitch Librarian.
Ever since the first day I laid eyes on him...Billy has been the sunshine that lights up my night.
Uh oh...I feel another poem coming on! A nice sappy one that Justin Bieber could ruin and turn into another horrible song! Hehehehe!
This is Brandon...obsessed!
Oh my friggin' God I'm going out of my mind today!
Tomorrow I've got to take Marie out and I...have no idea what I'm doing! I'm SO nervous! I was so nervous I could hardly hold my juice glass this morning at breakfast.
My Dad was all weirded out by me, too. He asked: "Why do you look like you're a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, Bran?" He had to chuckle a bit. I suppose I must have been entertaining for him.
Jerk! I mean that with all due respect, of course.
I told him about my date tomorrow and he was like shocked, overjoyed, annoyed, and relieved all at once. I never knew an old guy my dad's age had enough energy to go through every emotion a person can have at once! It was kind of fascinating to watch, actually.
After he got over the shock that his dear baby son managed to hook up with a hot date he wanted to know what I was so worried about.
For once, I was having a normal conversation with my Dad about a normal relationship with a girl! It felt...so good to be open about things, you know? It felt so GOOD to be...normal!
Too bad I'm *not* normal.
But, that said, it was good to pretend for a while. Plus, my Dad gave me some excellent advice for tomorrow. He didn't even bring up chastity and keeping it in my pants and that crap. I don't give my Dad enough credit. I forget how sensitive he is to these things. He never pushes the sex stuff down my throat like my Mama did. I guess it’s because he remembers what it was like being a boy too. Mom never had that problem.
Hehehehe...'pushes the sex stuff down my throat' just sounded SO wrong when I read it back to myself! What a perv I am!
Anyways, so I wondered what I should do when I would meet Marie. I asked him how should I act and stuff. He got all wide eyed and I remembered I'd forgotten to tell him who I was going on a date with.
"NICE, Brandon! She is a catch in a half! I wondered if you two would hit it off sooner or later. My God, I've been watching her give you the googlie eyes for nearly two years now!" He then chuckled "And...I saw how each time she gave you that 'Fever'!" He winked at me and I kind of put my hand over my mouth and giggled.
"I thought I fooled you about that." I said.
"Oh my boy, you REALLY don't give your old man any credit...hahahaha!" He had me there. I always forget that he was my age once and, according to Mama, I inherited his temperament. It’s like hiding from yourself...you can't hide certain things from your Dad.
But then again....
So he goes on: "Well, I bet you Marie brought up this date in the first place, didn't she?" I nodded.
"Which kind of means you are her date rather than she being yours. That may sound silly, but it really means something. It means that she is sort of driving this car tomorrow. You might need to take the passenger seat."
I scratched my head. I had never thought of it that way before. I, had naturally, always thought it was the boy that had to make all the decisions about what to do and where to go and stuff...and pay for it. Mama said so.
"I see your Mom running around behind those hazel eyes, Kiddo. She had a lot of old fashioned ideas that, basically, she *never* followed once! Hahahaha!" My Dad surprised me with that one!
"She picked me up on our first date. I didn't have a car. I was a jarhead Marine with bus money and not much else. She wanted to go out with me so *she* made it happen." My Dad sat back and reminisced fondly. He had a smile on his face that brought one to mine!
"My outfit didn't make fun of that either. They ALL had to get picked up by their girlfriends. So much for The Few and The Proud!" He shook his head and grinned as he hung his head down...remembering.
"Heh...she had to buy our burgers for us for our date. We went to the beach after that....it was one of the most romantic evenings we ever shared! Our very first one! Oceanside, CA is beautiful in August." My Dad's voice got a little gargley...like he had something in his throat.
"*Uh-hem* So! Basically, Bran, just show up. I promise you, she'll have it all planned out to the T. So don't sweat it! Just enjoy it!" He stood up and patted my shoulder as he went to go sit in front of the TV.
Could it really be that simple? Just show up? Just show up and be myself? That sounds way too easy somehow. There has to be a catch. There is always a catch. There is always a catch and it’s always my luck to get caught on that catch.
But, really, what else can I do? I really don't know any more about what's going to happen tomorrow except that I'm going to go to the mall with Marie or meet her there or whatever. She left everything else open and didn't seem to care if I made plans or not for us.
~sigh~ She just wants to...be with me, I guess. It doesn't matter what we do.
This is so WEIRD!!
Why do I feel so uncomfortable and weirded out by this whole thing? It’s so...natural, you know? But, it feels *wrong* somehow in a way I just can't place. It's going to be artificial.
That's the word...artificial!
I'm going to have to pretend through this whole thing because Marie is going to look for me liking her. She's going to wonder if I'm going to kiss her or make a pass or something. She's going to be disappointed no matter what because if I don't, she'll wonder what's wrong with her. If I do it’s going to be forced and she'll wonder what's wrong with me. Damned either way!
She'll know what I am then. I won't be able to cover my shadow anymore. Just one kiss, and she'll know I'm Gay!
Then the whole school, town, and worse...my Dad will know.
Why did I agree to go through with this?
This is going to be a nightmare!
This is Brandon...still scared out of his wits!
I hope you enjoyed reading. Comments are always welcome and appreciated!