Brandon Smiling: From the Billy Chase Chronicles (1) - 31. Entry 31

May 20

Well, as difficult as it was I did manage to get to school today.

I had no headaches, heartaches, or buttaches to use as excuses and, to be completely honest, I didn’t really want to use any. This may sound odd, but I miss school when I can’t be there. True, I’m not ‘Mr. Popular’ or anything, but I do, actually, enjoy learning new things and improving my skills and stuff. I often move back and forth between liking something I’m expected to do in a class and hating it another day. Maybe it’s hormones. I don’t know.

I figured I’d end up seeing Billy at least once or twice today, but, oddly, I didn’t see him at all. There was no Science class today because the teacher was out sick and there were no substitutes for the jerks in class to mess with. We were all told just to go to Home Room and study something, erm, ‘Sciencey.’ I think that was the word used: Sciencey. What the hell is ‘Sciencey’? I just read ahead in the text book. That was my ‘Sciencey’. These people are ‘teaching’ us things? I swear, may heaven help us all!

The day went rather boringly uneventful today and I was very glad of that. I didn’t need anymore weird stress on me from Billy or Sam or whoever. I just wanted to be left alone today. I wanted to get my classes done and as much of my homework done before coming home so that I could just veg when I got home.

After school, though, I did something different . . . for me, anyway. I went for a long bike ride out on the east side of our neighborhood. I found myself at the Cross house. I don’t know what craziness my inner map was doing, but I ended up there this afternoon.

There were no cars in their big driveway and I didn’t see a bouncing blonde teenager doing dunks in the basketball hoop over their garage so I figured Jamie must have had practice today or something.

I found myself going up to their door and ringing the bell. I don’t know what possessed me, but I was hoping that Marie was home. Something brought me here to see her. I don’t know if it was because of growing feelings I might be having for her or if, I don’t know, I needed something real to touch and be with today. I’ve been so confused lately with the Billy thing and with Sam driving it home. Marie, I know, is real and I know she really likes me and I . . . needed someone to want me today. Heaven forgive me if I’m just using her to feel better about myself. I hope that’s not the case. I hope that what is happening is a real beginning to a real relationship.

My crush on Billy isn’t real. It’s grounded in a fantasy and mixed up hormonal feelings. Billy can’t like me the way I like him. He’s straight and I have to be that way too if I’m ever to be happy in the world.

When I rang the doorbell I was treated to quite an unexpected sight. He may not have been playing basketball outside, but he was home. Jamie opened the door and stood there in nothing but his boxers. For more than half a second I felt a wave of pure lust and purer embarrassment wash over me when I saw him there pretty much naked in front of me. He’s a gorgeous guy . . . there’s no two ways about it.

“BRANDON? Dude! What a fucking surprise! Wow! I never thought you’d ever show up at our front door just . . . cuz!” Jamie blurted with a big smile. God . . . what a goofy sweetheart. He really does have a sweet nature. He’d be easy to fall in love with, I’m sure.

“Well! Come owwn innn, Hot Stuff! Marie’s upstairs! She’ll be, like, Next Level known’ you came all the way out here and all! You wanna Coke or somethin’?” Jamie rattled off these things while opening the screen door to me. I was supposing Mom and Dad weren’t home.

“No, that’s ok Jamie. Thanks anyway.” I said as I came into their house. It was a nice house! Big! Lot’s of comfy furniture and a big TV in the main room next to the far wall.

“Well, at least come and take a load off. I’ll get Sissy down here! She’s gonna be STOKED!” Jamie said almost bouncing on his heels. I couldn’t help but notice his junk bouncing around in his loose underwear. I had to look away at anything else so I wouldn’t start drooling. God help me . . . I wanted to taste Jamie at that moment so bad!

I distracted myself by finding a place on the couch and sitting with my legs crossed. Jamie had managed to get me hard, blast it, with all the bouncing and jiggling! It was almost like he knew what he was doing. I didn’t want him seeing me like that and I certainly didn’t want Marie to see me like that because, um, she’d be, like, watching for it!

“HEY SISSYYYY! DO I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!” Jamie screamed upstairs which made me turn red in the face.

Distantly I heard Marie’s reply and had to stifle a sudden laugh: “I don’t want to see your ‘THING’ again, Jamie Cross! I know you’re proud of it but it’s just gross to me!”

“NOOO, Stupid! BRANDON’s here!” Jamie called back with a touch of irritation in his voice.

“Who? He? Whaaaat?!” I heard an excited breathless response. I smiled because . . . wow! I’ve never known anyone who was ever that excited to see me before.

“YES! He’s here so you better get yourself decent or I’m going to send him up there to see you in your underwear!” Jamie turned to me, covered his mouth, and snickered at me and then pointed over his shoulder up the stairs, I guess, to share the big silly joke his sister had become. I rolled my eyes at that.

“Oh WHATEVER, noodle-dick! I’m not the person that runs around here every day half naked! I swear, Brandon! I'm worried about my big brother. One of these days he’s going to end up as one of those freaks in a nudist colony!” Marie says as she comes down the stairs with a tight little t-shirt and tighter denim cutoffs. Both the Crosses could burn out anyone’s sex drive without even trying . . . really!

For instance, Jamie actually MOONED his sister for what she said as he went into the kitchen! I had too look away and cover my face. It was just too much! Jamie's bare ass is spellbinding, no joke!

Marie rolled her eyes and came over to sit next to me. She made a low giggle that, I think, was a way to make me feel less uncomfortable. She put her hand on the knee of my bouncing nervous leg to reassure me, which really didn't help things at all, but she was trying, I guess.

"Ohhhh, never mind him! You know Jamie is a complete goofball! He's liable to do ANYTHING to get attention." Marie said in a way that sounded affectionate as well as fed up with Jamie's general nuttiness. This didn't help me at all, unfortunately. The prospect of seeing a fully nude Jamie standing there in front of me was not a good idea. I'd have been Outed in a second!

He did come back however and, luckily for me, he had most of his clothes on still. He even draped a button down shirt over his shoulders so as to pretend not to be as naked as he had been before. It didn't help much. Jamie's well defined abs and pecs were still on display as well as his adorable little belly button.

I had a sudden urge to tackle him and stick my tongue RIGHT in that belly button hole! Oh my GOD why did I ever go over there today?

He came to sit down in the love seat opposite Marie and me. He had popcorn. I cracked up at that finally.

"Ok, what the hell, Jamie? I mean . . . popcorn?" Marie stares daggers at Jamie.

"I always eat popcorn when I watch porn!" Jamie said. I had to grab my mouth to stop form laughing out loud!

"You idiot! Would you go . . . beat off or something? SOMEWHERE ELSE would be really great, you dingaling!" Marie threw a pillow at Jamie as a warning shot. Now, the thought of Jamie actually going up stairs to beat off REALLY got my juices going. Not good!

"Real 'ladylike' Marzie." Jamie said rolling his eyes.

"Oh, fuck you! Go get whipped! I want to talk with Brandon . . . ALONE!" Marie snarled.

"You better watch this one, Brandon, Buddy. She'll have you tied to a bed one night with her set of ticklers!" Jamie said as he rose his beautiful body up to leave. Marie threw another pillow at him to hurry up.

"OUT!" She yelled!

"WhatEVER, Sissy! You two have fun but not too much, Brandon! She's still my little sister no matter what kind of slut she makes herself out to be!" Jamie said and then started to snicker at his own 'wit'. This time it was a knick knack from the coffee table Marie pitched at her goofy brother. He made this stupid little boy's laugh and nearly tripped on the stairs to go up them.

Oh brother. Such coordination for our star quarterback. No wonder we can't win any games.

So Marie and I just, sort of, cuddled and watched Spongebob on the TV. I'd never even watched the show before, but found some of the humor in it stupid enough the be funny. Marie was tickled that I was enjoying her 'kid's' shows.

But, it sort of put things into perspective for me with Marie.

She was still, in a lot of ways, a little girl. What was I doing here with her like this giving her these vibes when I wasn't sure about what was going on between us myself?

She's very young and I am older. Shouldn't I know better than to play games with another person's heart? Am I fooling myself in trying to 'make this work' with her of all girls?

I don't know.

I guess I'll find out.

This is Brandon, the Fool of Hearts.