I didn't go to school today. The doctor said I needed a day of rest. Yesterday I came home in a lot of pain, I had the worst headache of my life and it had been getting pretty much worse throughout the day. It started at First Period and it just got worse from there. It felt like my head was in a vice-grip. Oh lord, I was in tears at times!
Finally it got so bad I ditched gym to go to the nurse's office. I had been in the bathroom throwing up and I hadn't even eaten lunch or anything. I figured that I better go there. The nurse at school isn't too bad--I was surprised really. She actually believed me and called my Dad who came and got me. I had to leave my bike at school, I hope it's still there tomorrow.
When I got home Dad called the doctor and he said to get me to the emergency room. That made me pretty scared, I'll be honest. I'd only been in an emergency room for myself once and that was when I broke my wrist during basketball practice. This was different, I knew what was wrong then. I didn't know what it was this time. I thought I might have a brain tumor or something!
LOL...by the time Dad had gotten me to the hospital I had given myself up for dead. I was so quiet on the ride over that he kept trying to reassure me and stuff. I love my Dad...but he couldn't really know. I'm not a 4 year old. I know that no one can know what's wrong with you until they do tests.
So, they took me in and immediately hooked me up to a heart monitor and then drew some blood...ouch. The doctor came to see me and asked me what my pain level was. I basically said 11 which made him smile a bit. He said he'd give me something for it. Boy did he!
I swear I've never felt so nice in my life! The nurse started an IV...another big ouch! She then injected something called 'Die-law-did' and 'At-a-van' into me. I didn't like the name Die-law-did 'cause it had the word 'die' in it, but I couldn't argue with the results. If that was dyin' I don't know what the fuss is about! Wow!
I was floating on the clouds, man! I was also out of pain which may have been part of the reason I was in the clouds, then the other drug must have kicked in because the last thing I remember was my Dad coming in and holding my hand and kissing my forehead.
I vaguely remember going in a big hole and hearing some weird noises and then waking up in a room upstairs in the hospital wards with another teen who was sleeping. My Dad was sitting on a couch next to my bed and he was smiling at me. Dad said I was ok and that there was nothing wrong with my brain.
I was a little groggy so I didn't really catch what the rest of what he said until the doctor came in with a clipboard. He spoke to both of us after checking my eyes and then kind of rubbing my brow with his thumb and smiling at me. I must have smiled back because he chuckled a bit. He said the next things in words that were clearer than medical babbel.
"You had a migraine headache, Brandon. Basically a stress headache. Have you been getting enough sleep?" He asked.
"Uh..." It was pointless lying. Dad knew I had been up too much and had said so. "...no. Not really. Too much to do. Lot of homework and stuff." I shrugged and felt kind of depressed. I felt like I'd failed somehow.
"Well...I recommend you close those books and turn that computer or game console off at 9:00 PM sharp and get your shut eye, my friend." the doctor said with authority.
"But...how will I get everything done? I have midterms! I have papers and projects..." I winced as the familiar pang went off in the center of my head.
"Well...I'm going to write a prescription for your school counselor that you need your schedule adjusted. I'm seeing this too much lately. A 15 year old boy is too young to be having this level of stress. That should wait until Medical School anyway!" He chuckled.
"They have a study hall period over there in the High School. Take advantage of that as one of your periods to get your work done so you can sleep and get some recreation in. Oh...and you need to stop the World of Warcraft stuff at 9:00 also!" He smiled.
I was so shocked that my mouth fell open which made him laugh a belly laugh...and he had quite a belly to laugh with. "Don't be so surprised, Kiddo! My son is 17 and I still have to tell him to turn the light out at 10."
My Dad laughed and assured the doctor that the 9:00 bedtime would be respected. It would too. I learned my lesson. I never want that kind of pain again if I can avoid it. Honestly, I felt like my head was going to explode like in that old 'Scanners' horror movie I watched the other night, late of course...well I guess I won't be doing that either from now on.
So, I spent today at home 'resting'. Dad left a nice breakfast of French Toast and juice for me. Lunch was a peanut butter sandwich on toast and some milk, an old favorite of mine when I'm not feeling good. I felt 6 years old again! LOL.
I spent most of the day indoors watching TV and playing a little. I found that I had to cool it with the games because I get too excited playing them. I can feel the pain in my head start if I get too into a fight or something with what I'm playing. By and large it was a relaxing if LOOONG day. I shortened it up with some well needed naps. I slept most of the afternoon away.
I missed Billy so much today. it's the highlight of my day when I can depend on him showing up at the library to 'be' with me without 'being' with me in that strange little dance we do. I have a feeling that my absence is going to jar something loose there. I am a creature of habit and very predictable. When I break my routine it's very unusual. Maybe it's just the jerk my fishing hook needs to catch him. Hehehehe. He's such a cute little goldfish.
Well, Dad brought some Chinese food home and the smell of it is driving me up the wall. So, I'm off to eat myself silly. I could get used to this pampering stuff! Being fed all day. Not having to do much but play and sleep. Maybe I'd make a good kitty cat? Meow!
Anyways...I am feeling loads better and the extra break in my schedule will help me cope better with school, I hope. I'd love to have a little more time for me and less for school stuff. I'd love it if I could enjoy being a kid without having to take on a world of responsibility so soon. I really don't think I'm ready for that kind of load. I don't know what these school administrators are thinking! God, I hate those bastards!
This is Brandon...'resting'
Billy spoke to me today! For like the first time at any length! It was short because I was so shy, but he did! He did!!
I was getting some books out so I could go to study hall after lunch and I heard that familiar chirpy voice behind me. I turned and almost bumped him he was so close! I got to smell him for the first time.
He smells so nice! He must have just come back from Gym class because he still had a little soap smell, but under it was this burnt sugar kind of thing going on. It was his natural aroma! It smelled...soooo right! I can't explain it.
He repeated what he said because I seemed to be dazed and confused that he should talk to me right out of the blue like that. It was just like 'Hi! How are you?'
I basically just choked up. I had this weird nervous butterfly thing going on in my stomach and my heart was beating really fast. I felt the blush go to my cheeks, particularly when I saw that sweetly expectant look on Billy's...well...pretty face. He was eager to know and held me there with those beautiful doe eyes of his.
I think I looked away and said something dumb like 'Fine' or something. I really was like totally zoned out. I felt like I was meeting my rock star idol or something. So stupid!
"I didn't see you in the Library yesterday. Is everything cool?" Billy asked showing concern and great interest. Almost too much interest. Does he really want to know or is he just being nice?
"Oh, nothing. Just had a touch of something, you know." I said without giving away too much. I didn't want Billy, my little blonde angel, to know I get stress headaches from too much homework! How lame is that?
That said, I did start to feel a pang start. This was starting to stress me a bit and I needed to take some of the medicine the doctor gave me. it's so frustrating! I've never had health stuff interfere like this before. I wanted to stay and talk more with Billy, but I guess I was getting a little too excited. I...uh...even started to get a little hard just standing there so close to him. This is so weird!
"Well..heh...I guess I better get going. I'll see ya...Billy." I said way too shyly. I thought for sure Billy would think I didn't like him! 'Awww...why am I such a frigging coward!!?' I immediately thought to myself.
But you know, Billy just smiled a big beautiful smile that just lit my life up like a firework!
"Sure, Brandon! See you later!" He kind of nodded at me and went about his way. He looked back once...and he was still smiling.
I'm even more in love now than I was before.
Billy is perfect. it's too bad I'm such a wreck!
This is Brandon...wondering.
We connected today.
Billy and I really connected. We've spent the last few days just kind of exchanging chit-chat. 'Hey how are ya' and 'How's it going.' That sort of thing.
Billy is incredibly cute and open. He's like a TV set. Always on and always presenting. He...is spectacular! A person that I wish I was but, in a way, glad I'm not because I can just sit back and watch the show!
Today, this one sided Tour de Force (I just learned that in English!) seemed to either bore Billy or concern him or...something.
So, there we are in the Library like usual and we exchanged the usual 'Hey how are ya' and 'fine'. But then he actually asked me stuff about, well...me!
I was always so wrapped up in whatever he wanted to say that I never considered that he didn't know anything about me or not. I am so dumb like that. I just...forget about myself when I'm with him.
So, I kind of opened up about what my family was like and who dad is and what he does. I told him about my dad being a business traveler and that I go out of the country sometimes. This seemed to catch his interest. I guess he's never been anywhere very far before. I left the part about my mom out--No sense bumming Billy out, he might not want to talk to me after that!
I told him about London and Cedrick and Franc and going to Tokyo one time and then to Singapore. But, mostly England. He asked a bunch of stuff about England and how I met Cedrick and stuff. I told him about my Dad's contact and that Cedrick was his son.
Funny, Billy seemed interested in what Cedrick looked like. I described him best I could. I don't know what Billy thought he'd look like, something out of Victorian times? LOL
Somehow that segued into my love of Hammer Horror films. He'd never seen one, which is not surprising. They don't show them that much anymore here in the States. I reminded him of the Christopher Lee version of Dracula and that clicked for him. He made a reference to both Lee and Peter Cushing being in Star Wars. I had kind of forgotten that part since I was never much into Star Wars, but that's true, they were!
He wanted to know what I like to do other than study. That cracked me up. Here I am getting migraine headaches from studying and he thinks that's like fun? Right, Billy!
I told him about WoW and my poetry and drawings. I often draw my own characters for things. They’re doodles really. I haven't had a chance to take art classes that much. My mom did pastels sometimes and she showed me a few things. I use pen and ink mostly.
Billy wanted to see one of my poems, but I chickened out. That's so personal and...I didn't want him to laugh at me. That would have hurt pretty bad.
But, you know, when Billy makes those puppy dog eyes with the face and the hair and the brown eyes...you just can't say no! it's like frigging mind control so I showed him one of my better ones called Touch.
The picture in my mind
Is nothing to a hand.
What the eye cannot touch
Is what the hand can see
Take me into your hand
Lend me your warmth in touch
Pulse and skin smoothed between
Silken heat alive and lean
The thick of hands
They cannot feel
What are felt by lips
Lips can hide a truth
Or press a truth complete
Take me in your heavy lips
Take me to your truth inside
Pulse and skin slipped between
Silken heat alive and keen
Lips together all are not
All that bodies tell
A language spoken in its all
A primal love integral
Take me with your satin body
Take me in with all you are
Pulse and skin smoothed between
Silken heat alive and clean
I'd actually written it after the first time seeing Billy at the Mall.
He was like all quiet after he read it. When he looked back up at me it was with a different kind of look. My stomach sank because I thought he was going to bust out laughing. I must have hid my face behind my hair again because he said 'Hey'!
"Hey, that's like one of the prettiest poems I've ever read, Brandon! it's...so cool. You're really deep...ya know?" He was like in awe or something.
I must have blushed and snickered or something dumb because he got that big bright smile. I think I must have smiled too which made him laugh.
I made Billy laugh. He laughed *with* me and not at me.
We had to finally leave for class. I was sorry that our time together had to come to an end after only 10 minutes, but those 10 minutes were like the best I've had in a long while.
We walked each other out of the library and went our separate ways with promises to meet up again soon.
I'll be honest...I can't wait. Now that I know him better, Billy is the best person I have ever met. When I remember his smile my throat kind of tightens like I might cry.