Shades of Gray - 18. Chapter 18 Meet me at the crossroads...

“...Oh and Kaleb, again I'm so sorry.” Chase sighed into the phone. He rested his head back onto the pillow clutching the phone tightly in the palm of his hand. This was the fifth message he left. For some reason the sound of Kaleb's voice was soothing to him. It was a stark contrast to how he left him, yet this was the closest he could get to him. He had hoped that Horace was wrong and Kaleb would answer the phone so they could straighten out this horrible misunderstanding.

"Boy, you are one hard-headed son of a bitch.” Carter's voice startled him from his stupor. He snatched the phone away from his ear so fast he almost dropped it.

"Damn it!” Chase shrieked causing Carter to break out in a boisterous laugh as he stepped inside. "What the hell...” He recoiled eying his brother as if he had two heads.

"Ummm...” Carter smirked, crossing his arms across his chest as he nodded to the phone in his brother's hand.

"Oh yeah...” Chase brought the phone back to his mouth whispering 'I love you.' before ending the call.

"What are you doing?” Carter asked as he sat down on his brother's bed.

"Nothing.” Chase replied as he placed the phone on the nightstand.

"Bullshit. You're calling Kaleb again.” He accused him while shifting positions so they were sitting side by side on the bed.

"And..." Chase blushed embarrassingly.

"And...” Carter parroted, "I thought you said his father told you to talk to him tomorrow.” He said reminding his brother of their earlier conversation. Carter was entertaining company when Chase arrived home. Carter could tell he was clearly upset by the conversation he was having on the phone when he walked in. He barely spoke to Pam, Carter’s guest as he whisked by mumbling under his breath, but by his tone Carter could tell something was wrong.

And as any good, “Big” twin brother would do, he ended his night with Pam early.

"He did...” Chase sighed sorrowfully. "It's just, you should have seen him. He was really upset and I feel like it's my fault.” He expressed through a forlorn glance.

"It's not. Like his father told you."

Chase took a deep breath releasing it slowly. "I hate this. Who knows what he's thinking right now. He's probably thinking everyone is against him...including me" He shook his head sadly. "And that's not true."

"Then tell him that...tomorrow.” Cater encouraged as he placed a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder.

"You wanna hear something funny?” Chase sighed humorlessly as he combed his fingers through is hair.

"What?” Carter replied as he relaxed his head against the pillow.

"It's not so much that we agree, as it is the reasons we agree.” He stated thoughtfully. "Mine are purely selfish, and not just for me either.” He added. "He's totally capable of taking care of Lilly. I just feel it will place too many time restraints on him.” Chase explained. "Think about this.” He sat up crossing one leg over the other so he was sitting Indian style. "He's been living a very sheltered life... unnecessarily I might add. All because his mother has been too afraid to let go of the reins. Kaleb is twenty-two and there is so much he hasn't done, so much he has yet to experience."

"What do you mean? I would think he's done a lot. I mean his parents have plenty of money. Hell, Horace Fitzgerald's name is legendary. Even I know that."

"See. That's not what I mean. Sure, he's traveled with his parents. He speaks French fluently and even signs a little, but that's about it. He's young still. He has his whole life ahead of him."

"I understand what you're saying, lil brother, but what does that have to do with Lilly? Are you saying he can't do this quote unquote “living with Lilly?” Carter challenged using air quotes.

"No. That's not what I'm saying at all. I just don't think it would be fair for him to tie himself down at such a young age. I feel that family is of high importance and should be planned. It's nothing you enter into lightly."

"I agree.” Carter said giving his brother a slow nod.

"So you see it's totally different then his parents. Helen, especially, thinks that he is incapable of taking care of Lilly, where for me that's not the case.” He clarified.

"Different, maybe, but not better."

"Huh?” Chase questioned, slightly taken aback.

"Well. When you think about it.” Carter scratched behind his ear as he searched out his words carefully. "If we were to talk to his parents, they could justify their reasons for Kaleb not adopting or being Lilly's foster parent."

"Yeah...but.” Chase attempted to interrupt.

"There is no but, Chase.” He countered. "For some reason you feel the need to save Kaleb, but from what I have no clue."

"That's not true.” Chase defended, receiving a disbelieving stare from his brother.

"It is... You feel the need to wine and dine him. You said yourself you want to take him around the world, show him stuff, as you put it.” Chase sighed reflectively as he thought back to his and Carter's conversation. And he had to admit he was right.

"Okay...” Chase conceded.

"Did you ever stop to think, that maybe he's happy the way he is?” Carter posed. "I mean, he might not want all the fancy stuff you want to bring to the relationship.” He pointed out, receiving a thoughtful nod from Chase. "Now, the fact that his parents feel he's incapable is irrelevant. That can be challenged in the courts and you are a Family Law Attorney.” He stated with an arched brow. "But, what you’re both guilty of is denying Kaleb of what he feels will make him happy and that's Lilly.” He stated matter- of- factly.

Chase sighed as he uncrossed his legs hoisting himself off the bed. He stretched his arms out to his side trying to stifle a yawn.

"I'm going to get some water, you want some?” He called back over his shoulder as he headed out.

"You're different than me.” Carter stated as he climbed off the bed and followed his brother down the hall.

"What do you mean?” Chase asked as he reached inside the fridge pulling out two bottles of water. He tossed his brother one before twisting the cap off his own.

"Well, if I had this babe I was digging who was as crazy about me as Kaleb is about you; I would do anything in my power to make her happy.” He shrugged as he opened his bottle. Chase leaned back against the counter crossing one leg over the other before turning the bottle up to his lips giving Carter his full attention.

"What are you afraid of...really?” He challenged.

"I'm not afraid of anything.” Chase laughed, finding humor in his brother's accusation.

"Are you afraid that Lilly will get more attention than you?” He pursed his lips teasingly.

"No...” Chase chuckled before taking a drink.

"That Kaleb won't have time for you anymore because he'll be so busy playing daddy?” He arched his brow.

"No..."

"Then what?"

Chase thought for a moment and sighed. "I don't know.” He admitted with a slight shrug.

"Then help him for Christ sakes. You love him, I know you do.” Carter said as he leaned back against the wall. He slowly allowed his body to slide down until he was sitting on the floor.

"I do, Carter.” Chase nodded. "It’s scary."

"Love can be sometimes."

"You know, you are amazing.” Chase squinted. "Why don't you have a special person in your life?"

"I guess I'm good at giving advice, just not following it.” He frowned. "I did have a babe once, over in Spain."

"Really?” Chase asked through a questioning gaze.

"Yeah...really.” Carter laughed in spite of himself. "Good girl too, Man.” He sighed while shaking his head.

"Wow...” Chase pushed himself off the counter and made his way over to his brother. "What happened?” He asked as he lowered himself to the floor beside him.

"I couldn't keep my dick in my pants.” He chuckled humorlessly.

"Yeah...” Chase nodded slightly.

"Overseas, ball players are like celebrities. Pussy was being tossed around like a basketball. Sometimes, I'd have two...maybe three at one time. I had so much I would wake up the next day with leftovers.” He recalled. Chase sat in awe as he listened to his brother travel down memory lane. Though they were twins, he realized there was so much about him that he didn’t know. “...She caught me one too many times and told me it was over. So now here I am... alone.” He pressed his lips together in a tight line. "Dad would have liked her."

"Wow. Those are some stories, Man.” Chase voiced, downing the last of his water.

"So what are you going to do? You gonna help him or not?"

Chase twisted the cap back on the empty bottle and forced himself off the floor as he pondered his brother's question.

"I don't know.” He shrugged. "There's a process in place. I'm afraid by the time the legal stuff is set they may have found someone to take Lilly. That is if no family has come forward by then.” He added.

"Wait...” Carter pressed himself against the wall using it to slide up. "Call in a favor.” He suggested. "I'm sure you have some connections in the system. Someone who can push it through quicker. You know the old saying it's not what you know...but who."

"Hummm...” Chase thought for a moment then sighed. "Not really.” He chuckled more to himself as those exact words haunted him. Scott used to stress that all the time. "I don't have any favors to call in, but I know someone who might.” He exhaled deeply as the thought of that person came to mind.

~*~*~

He took a deep breath releasing it slowly as he reached for the door handle. All the way over he'd been practicing what he was going to say. First off, he wanted Kaleb to know how sorry he was, and secondly that he missed him something terrible. He couldn't help but laugh thinking back to when Carter called him a "punk" this morning, prefacing it by saying he meant it in the kindest way possible. He wasn't sure if punk fit, but one thing for certain he was 'something' all right when it came to Kaleb….but what?

He was greeted with a warm smile as he stepped inside the lobby.

"Chase...” Darla exclaimed as she made her way toward him.

"Darla, it's good to see you.” He returned the smile as he bent down to kiss her on the cheek. She shifted the folder in her arm to keep from wrinkling its contents as she tilted her cheek up to receive the kiss.

"You're here to see Kaleb I presume."

"Yes...yes. I am.” He replied while wringing his hands together nervously even as he scanned the Daycare area. A contented smile appeared as Chase's eyes landed on the object of his desires.

"He's doing better today.” She offered as they watched him skip around the play area with the children.

Chase nodded even though his attention was still focused on Kaleb. He had to admit he enjoyed watching him with the kids. It was like the first time, the sparkle in his eyes that captivated him at first glance. The positive energy that resonated from his very being had become addictive. Chase was so deep in the moment, he didn't even feel Darla's pat on the back or see the kind smile she gave him before heading to her office, leaving him with his thoughts.

Kaleb was indeed in his own world. A small place where only the privileged were welcomed, and Chase deemed it an honor to be allowed inside. He knew Carter was right. It wasn't as if he was asking for the world, which if it were his, Chase would hand it over to him in a heartbeat. As he watched him running around with the children, as if he didn't have a care in the world, Chase realized Kaleb was unique in his own right, yet his desires were as most. To love and be loved. Be accepted for who he was and have someone to care for... someone to make him feel needed.

A frown slowly appeared as the realization settled in on how selfish he was actually being. His mind drifted back to the morning Kaleb held Lilly to the window holding her tiny little hand safe within his own as they waved good morning. He took a deep breath and pulled out his cell phone chewing on his lower lip as he scanned the contacts. His thumb played hesitantly over the talk key before he pushed send.

"Hey....” He forced a smile as the familiar voice greeted him. "How are you? Got any plans for lunch tomorrow?” After a few moments of small talk, their lunch plans were set. Chase smiled as he ended the call. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, it was actually pleasant. He took a deep breath and slid the phone back into his pocket.

His smile widened, becoming more genuine as his eyes met Kaleb's amazing blue ones. He waved behind the plate of glass separating them, gesturing for him to come inside. Chase stuffed his hand deep inside the pocket of his dress slacks as he hurried over. He cautiously stepped into the daycare that was filled with laughter, idle chatter, and children running around his heels.

"Hey...” Chase tilted his head slightly taking in the sight before him. He knew he would never tire of it.

"Hey...” Kaleb said as he handed the baby in his arms over to the young girl assisting him. Chase stepped back and waited as Kaleb gave her some instructions before turning his attention to his visitor. Kaleb smiled as he combed his fingers through his hair closing the space between them.

"Are you okay?” Chase asked as he reached for Kaleb's hand.

"Umhum...” Kaleb ducked his head shyly. He allowed Chase's hand to caress his own as their fingers laced together.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?” Chase nodded toward the door. "A place a little quieter?” The chaos surrounding them was a bit distracting to Chase, though Kaleb seem unfazed and right at home.

"Sure.” Kaleb smiled. "Zina, I'm gonna step outside with my boyfriend. Will you be okay?"

"I've got it.” She replied as she bounced the little boy on her lap. Kaleb pressed his lips together forming a tight smile as Chase led him out.

Once outside Chase smiled as he watched the autumn winds blow through Kaleb's hair causing him to shiver slightly.

"Come here.” Chase extended his arms sighing contently as Kaleb relaxed his body into them. They held each other tightly, both men enjoying the comfort of their shared embrace. After a few moments, Chase pulled back and smiled into Kaleb's receiving gaze. "Are you still upset with me?” He asked slightly above a whisper.

"No...” Kaleb replied as he snuggled closer.

"Good. I'm sorry by the way.” He said as he inhaled deeply, allowing Kaleb's natural scent to ignite his senses.

"So am I.” Kaleb frowned. "I shouldn't have done that."

"No, it's okay, honestly. I understand how you could have felt that way.” Chase said compassionately, even as he kissed him tenderly on the forehead.

"You're not mad at me?” Kaleb asked his voice as innocent as a young child’s.

"Of course not.” Chase laughed. "I'm not even sure that's possible.” He stated honestly. His expression thoughtful. "All I know is I missed you something terrible last night. I missed holding you."

"I missed you holding me too.” Kaleb looked up into Chase's eyes.

"So you went off and got an apartment eh?” Chase questioned as he relaxed his hold on him.

"Yes!” Kaleb exclaimed, his voice almost squeaking with excitement. "It's right around the corner from your place!"

"So it's official?” Chase asked dropping his arms from around Kaleb's waist. He took him by the hand and led him to the concrete stoop.

"It's official.” Kaleb beamed as he took the seat offered by Chase. "I signed the contract and everything."

"Wow.” Chase replied as he sat down beside him. "When do you move in?"

"Well, I have the key, so I guess I can move anytime I want.” He shrugged.

"You have furniture picked out already?"

"Ugghhh...” Kaleb slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Furniture. I knew I was forgetting something.”

Chase broke into a jovial laugh as he pulled Kaleb’s hand down from his face. "Well, don't worry about it. We can go shopping together.” He suggested. "The important thing is getting your other paperwork turned in to the state.” He explained. "You are serious about trying to get Lilly, aren't you?” He eyed him earnestly.

"I know you think it's a bad idea.” Kaleb ducked his head sorrowfully. Chase tilted his head slightly trying to make eye contact with him. He placed his finger under Kaleb's chin gently lifting his face to meet his own. Kaleb blinked bashfully as Chase smiled lovingly at him.

"How bad do you want this?"

"Really...really bad.” Kaleb's eye lit up like a child seeing its first snow.

"Okay.” Chase said as he took Kaleb's hand into his own. “Let's do it.”

"Wait...” Kaleb shook his head as if he misunderstood. "You're going to help me?” He asked incredulously.

"Yes....” Chase laughed at Kaleb's skepticism. “Yes I am, but we have to work fast.”

"But I...I thought..."

"I know.” Chase smiled. He took a deep breath releasing it slowly. "You are amazing, Kaleb.” He stated with conviction. "You're so good to me. You're the best boyfriend a guy could ever have.” He pressed his lips together tightly as he caressed Kaleb's cheek. "It's time I show you how much you truly mean to me, and be as selfless as you are."

"Awww...” Kaleb cupped his hand over his mouth as he choked back the tears filling his eyes.

"Wait...” Chase chuckled humorously. "I thought this would make you happy."

"It did! It has!” Kaleb exclaimed as he tackled Chase, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. He didn’t care that there were people watching their public display of affection.

"Whoa...whoa!” Chase laughed trying to keep them balanced. Kaleb pressed his lips urgently against his boyfriend’s mouth demanding what was truly his. What started out rough and awkward smoothly transitioned into a hot kiss fueled by passion. Kaleb pulled back breathlessly with reddened cheeks and slightly bruised lips.

"Thank you so much!” He managed to speak through bated breath.

Chase’s only reply was a shaky nod of the head. His heart pounded so hard against his chest that he felt dizzy. It amazed him how Kaleb’s touch stirred such emotions within him every time they kissed and, it was a feeling he wouldn’t trade for the world. To see that smile and the sparkle in those eyes, knowing he was the one that put it there was worth its weight in gold…Priceless.

~*~*~

“Are you sure you want to stay here tonight?” Helen questioned as she played nervously with the strand of pearls draped around her neck. “I mean, you have no furniture, no window furnishings.” She pointed toward the bay window that overlooked the Chicago skyline. “Is that even safe?”

“I think it’s fine, Dear.” Her husband replied as he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Besides, Chase is right around the corner…walking distance even.”

“Running distance if necessary.” Chase added.

“Mom…” Kaleb whined, “It’s very safe. Everyone has to pass through security downstairs and be announced before they are allowed up. Well, everyone except Chase that is.” He smiled lovingly at his boyfriend. “He has his own key and I put his name on the lease.” Chase smiled proudly as he stepped up behind Kaleb placing his hand respectfully on his waist.

“So his name is on the lease and your own mother has to be announced?” Helen objected.

“Well, he is my boyfriend and emergency contact person, Mom.” Kaleb countered as he relaxed into Chase’s hold.

“Helen…” Horace laughed even as he pulled his wife into his embrace. “I’m sure if there is any sort of emergency Chase will let us know immediately, right Chase?”

“Oh… of course.” Chase quickly agreed. “But he’ll be fine.” He assured them.

“We’re going shopping for furniture tomorrow.” Kaleb interjected while changing the subject. “I want to go by ‘Babies R Us,’ to get the stuff for Lilly’s room.” He added addressing Chase, who nodded his approval as he eyed Helen.

“Lilly?” She questioned. “I thought we agreed it wasn’t a good idea for Kaleb to adopt her.”

“Well….” Chase started to explain before Kaleb interrupted.

“Chase is going to help me get her.” He stated with enthusiasm.

“Is that true, Chase?” Horace asked eyeing him skeptically as he felt his wife stiffen in his arms. All eyes were on him, anticipating his answer. Chase took a deep breath, as he knew his answer would cause discord between him and the Fitzgeralds. They say, “The heart is treacherous who can know it,” and most would follow their first mind, but not in this case. Chase was indeed following his heart as he answered with conviction.

“Yes…” He stated, his tone unwavering.

“What!?” Helen exclaimed disapprovingly

“Hush, Helen.” Horace insisted, his attention still focused on the taller man standing by his son.

“I want you to understand something.” Chase stated capturing not only Horace’s attention but Kaleb and Helen’s as well. He stepped forward placing his arm around Kaleb’s waist pulling him closer. “When I said I agreed that Kaleb shouldn’t try to adopt Lilly, I meant that, but not for the reasons you might think.” He clarified as he eyed each one of them.

“Which, is irrelevant.” Helen voiced. “The fact that we agree is what’s important here. It’s a bad idea.”

“You see, that’s what I used to think until I had a talk with my brother.” He smiled as he glanced at Kaleb.

“Carter?” He questioned.

“Carter.” Chase nodded before turning his attention back to Kaleb’s parents. “That’s my twin brother.” He explained.

Helen huffed rolling her eyes. “Oh my god…there’s two of you.” She hissed under her breath as she settled back into her husband’s arms.

“I know Kaleb is very capable of taking care of Lilly. He would make a wonderful father to her and any other children we...” He paused taking a deep breath trying to collect his thoughts before continuing. “I would trust him completely to care for my own kids.” He asserted as he kissed Kaleb on the top of the head. Horace nodded, his expression thoughtful, as he ran his hand down his chin.

“You mean that?” Kaleb asked shyly his tone taking on a hint of uncertainty as he looked up searching Chase’s deep green eyes.

“Every word.” Chase smiled lovingly before returning his attention back to Horace and Helen. “This is something that he wants. Something he feels will make him happy and when he’s happy…I’m happy.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“This is preposterous.” Helen exclaimed as she twisted from her husband’s hold. “Horace, are you agreeing to this?” She questioned furiously as she glared at Chase.

Horace scratched behind his ear. It was obvious to Chase that he was uncomfortable being put on the spot. Of the two, he was the more reasonable one, but even Chase understood a man’s got to do…what a man’s got to do in order to keep the peace in his household.

“Whether or not I agree, Kaleb has made up his mind and Chase, like any good man is supporting his decision.”

“Good answer…” Chase grinned, thinking to himself. He almost wanted to give Horace a high five.

“I have made up my mind. It’s my mind, and my life, Mom.” Kaleb chimed in. “I wish you would just believe in me.” He frowned even as he rested his head against Chase’s shoulder.

“That’s not fair and you know it.” Helen defended. “Now if your dad and Chase want to sit around and watch you ruin your life that’s on them, but it’s my job as a mother to make sure that doesn’t happen.” She insisted as she sharply adjusted her purse strap over her shoulder. “Horace, take me home this instant.” She snapped, “It’s late.” Horace forced a smile watching as his wife storm off. They whined as they heard the door slam behind her

“You’ve got a nice place here, Son.” He stated as he pulled him into a tight hug.

“Thank you, Daddy.” Kaleb replied as he patted his father on the back before releasing his hold on him. Horace smiled genuinely as he tousled his son’s hair.

“I’m proud of you, Son. And don’t worry about your mother, she’ll come around.” He assured him. “Chase…” He extended his hand. “It was good seeing you again. Take care of him.”

“I will…” Chase promised taking Kaleb’s hand into his own as they walked Horace to the door.

“Don’t forget to keep the doors locked.” He teased as he stepped into the hallway.

“Daddy…” Kaleb whined as he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, and good luck with Lilly.” Horace stated sincerely, before turning to leave.

“Thank you…” Chase replied as Kaleb nodded echoing his sentiments. Chase wrapped his arms around Kaleb’s shoulder closing the small space between them as they watched Horace get on the elevator…alone. Helen obviously had gone down without him.

“What do you say we stay here tonight?” Chase asked as they headed back inside the apartment.

“But we don’t have any furniture.”

“Well I have a few sleeping bags at my place.” Chase suggested. “We can order a pizza, swing by there on the way to pick it up and come back here and camp out. We can christen the place.” He winked suggestively.

“We can…” Kaleb readily agreed as he stood on the tips of his toes leaning his face upward brushing his lips against Chase’s. “We still have to try page 132.” He bounced his brow teasingly.

“Umm…I’m not sure if my back can take the hardwood floor. I think we should wait till you get a bed for that page.” He chuckled as he took Kaleb’s hand leading him toward the door.

“Awwww…” Kaleb pouted as he followed closely behind Chase.

“Don’t worry, baby I’ll make sure your first night in your new place will be a memorable one…I promise.”

~*~*~

She adjusted the strap of her purse across her shoulder as she keenly watched the man sitting across from her review the contents inside the manila folder. He grimaced through a heavy sighed as he closed the folder and slide it across the table. She crossed her legs and smiled curtly as she scanned its contents, flipping casually through the pages.

"It really is a shame isn't it?” She questioned to no one in particular as she closed the folder and placed it back on the desk. "So we have an understanding?” She asked through a questioning gaze attempting to make eye contact with the man who refused to look directly at her. "We do have an understanding, don't we?” She asked, again this time .her tone taking on a hint of authority.

"Ummm.” The portly older man in the outdated, bland gray suit shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Yes, Ma'am we do.” He stated begrudgingly. It was evident by his demeanor that he was disturbed by her presence.

"Your complete discretion to this delicate situation is of utmost important. You do understand that as well.” She asked with a sly smile.

"Of course....” He returned her smile with a fake one.

"Good.” She uncrossed her legs and daintily pushed herself up from her chair, straightened out her jacket and sashayed out of the small office. A victorious smiled crossed her lips as she pulled out her cell phone feeling quiet pleased with herself. She scanned the contacts and pressed talk before she pressed the down button on the elevator. "Paul...” She addressed the voice on the other end. "Bring the car around. I'm on my way down."