Shades of Gray - 5. Chapter 5

The family gathered in the formal dining room at seven o’clock sharp dressed in their Sunday best, a tradition started by Helen Fitzgerald that went as far back as Kaleb could remember. A tradition to his day Kaleb questioned. There were a few times he came to dinner wearing a tank top and shorts only to be sent back to his room to change into something more “appropriate” as his mother called it. She complained to her husband that Kaleb lived to defy her at every chance he got.

Tonight however he was on his best behavior dressed in a pair of black dress slacks and a black and gray argyle vest worn over a simple white starched cotton shirt. Tonight was special for him. Not only did he have news to share, but also his older brother Adam and his wife were having dinner with them.

Horace sat at the head of the long solid oak table adorned with an array of food. His wife sat to his right while Kaleb sat across from her next to his sister in law Jenny. Adam sat at the other end facing their father.

Adam Fitzgerald was in his late forties. He worked for his father’s Development Company as a Land Consultant. He and Jenny celebrated their twenty-fifth year of marriage a few weeks back, and because of their busy schedules, they were just getting around to having a celebratory dinner with the family.

“I hate that you two are giving up on having children.” Helen voiced disapprovingly.

“Well, mom we’re not getting any younger so we’ve just decided it wasn’t meant for us to have children.” He gestured to his wife, receiving an agreeing nod.

“I was so looking forward to becoming a grandmother.” She sighed.

“You still can mom. I plan on having kids one day.” Kaleb chimed in with enthusiasm.

“Oh Kaleb.” His mother chuckled dismissively. “Pass the dinner rolls please.”

“I do…” Kaleb insisted as he reached for the serving plate. He was about to grab a roll and pass the rest.

“Ah-ah-ah. Kaleb you know better.” She chastised as if he was a little child.

“But why when I already have them in my hand? I don’t get it. Why do I have to wait for the plate to come back around to me before I can have a roll?” Kaleb questioned with knitted brows.

“Kaleb.” She sighed exasperatedly. “You offer your guests…first.” Helen explained kindly yet in a condescending tone, the way she always spoke to him.

“But they are not guests.” He nodded to his brother, then to Jenny. “They’re family.” He charged still holding the plate of rolls.

“Horace…” Helen glared at her husband.

“Do as your mother says son.” Horace instructed while pinching the bridge of his nose. He was always the mediator between Kaleb and his mother. Though he agreed with his son most of the time, he didn’t dare go against his wife’s wishes. If Helen was happy, everyone was happy.

“It’s stupid if you ask me.” Kaleb huffed rolling his eyes as he passed Jenny the plate.

“So Kaleb, you want to have children someday?” Adam asked genuinely interested while attempting to change the subject.

“Yes….” Kaleb’s eyes lit up seemingly forgetting his previous conversation with his mother. “I love children and I want to have lots of them.” He added.

“You do know you can’t have children don’t you?” His mother asked as she took a sip of her wine.

“Of course I do mother.” Kaleb replied. “Men can’t have babies.” He sighed.

“But he can adopt.” Adam interrupted.

“Yes. I can adopt.” Kaleb smiled.

“Adam. You know Kaleb would never be awarded custody of a child.” She said in a hushed tone.

“Why not, Mother?” Adam challenged.

“Yeah, why not, Mother?” Kaleb asked crossing his arms over his chest. Horace arched his brow waiting for an answer along with everyone else.

“Well…” She glanced around the room feeling out numbered. All eyes were on her. “Well.” She grimaced. “It’s just…I don’t…” She sighed. “He’s too young.” She waved off when she couldn’t think of anything else to say. Adam shook his head disapprovingly because he knew that’s not what his mother had been thinking.

“Not really.” Jenny countered. “I know couples younger than him who have kids.”

“See, mom.” Kaleb huffed.

“I see son.” Helen conceded.

“Um…I think it’s time to bless the food.” Horace announced getting everyone’s attention. All talking ceased as everyone bowed his or her head. After a few moments, ‘Amen’ echoed throughout the dining room and everyone filled their plates. The main course for tonight was roasted quail with brioche and chorizo dressing.

The sound of forks against white china plates along with idle chatter filled the dining room. Horace and Adam were talking about company business while Helen made small talk with Jenny.

“I have an announcement.” Kaleb said while wiping his mouth with his cloth napkin before placing it over his uneaten food.

“Kaleb, you didn’t touch your quail.” His mother noticed.

“Ewww….” Kaleb frowned. “I don’t like it.”

“You know son, there are folks starving over in Africa.” Helen charged.

“They’re folks starving right here in the US as well.” He retorted. Helen sighed shaking her head.

“So what’s this announcement?” Horace asked giving his son his undivided attention.

“I have a boyfriend.” Kaleb replied through a toothy grin.

“*cough…cough*…A boyfriend?” Helen managed to say. Horace’s eyes became wide as saucers while Jenny hid her smile behind her glass of wine. Adam relaxed his back against his chair casually crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yes…” Kaleb beamed brightly.

“Here it comes…” Adam mouthed faintly.

“So, you have a boyfriend.” His father questioned for clarity.

“Horace….” Helen glared disapprovingly.

“What’s his name?” Adam asked.

“Chase Montgomery.” He stated proudly.

“Where do I know that name?” Horace asked a thoughtful expression attacking his features.

“Isn’t that the name of the man who helped you the other day?” Helen inquired.

“Yes…”

“And now he’s your boyfriend?” She stressed the word boyfriend with a slight tilt of the head, eyeing her husband with a questioning gaze. Horace shrugged his shoulder unsure of what his wife was trying to say without saying it.

“Chase Montgomery? Wow.” Jenny replied. “He’s hot.”

“He’s an attorney right?” Adam nodded.

“The best…” Kaleb replied.

“That’s where I heard that name before.” Horace voiced. “Family Law.” He stated reflectively.

“Honey…” Helen chose her words carefully. “What makes you think Mr. Montgomery is your boyfriend?”

“Because I asked him, and he said yes.”

“You asked him?” She repeated. “You asked Chase Montgomery to be your boyfriend, and he said yes?” She questioned disbelievingly.

“Well, it’s not a secret that he’s gay.” Jenny said with a slight shrug of the shoulder. “He’s been seen out and about with some pretty good looking men.”

“Yes…men. Kaleb is a boy.” Helen stated with conviction.

“I’m not a boy, mom…I’m twenty-two years old.” He countered.

“He’s right Helen.” Horace agreed.

“I know how old my son is.” She stated; clearly annoyed.

“How do you know him?” Adam inquired.

“He’s been working at the shelter all week, pro bono of course.” Kaleb stated proudly. “He’s helping the woman there.”

“Really? That’s cool.” Adam stated sincerely. “How old is he?”

“Thirty.”

“Oh my god….” Helen gasped cupping her hand over her mouth in amazement.

“What?” Kaleb questioned.

“He’s too old.” Helen retorted.

“There’s a ten year age difference between you and dad.” Kaleb pointed out receiving an agreeing nod from his brother.

“That’s different.” She huffed.

“Actually it’s not.” Adam added. “What’s different about it?” He asked with an arched brow.

“What would a man like Chase Montgomery see in Kaleb?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Adam asked incensed.

“Yeah…what the hell is that supposed to mean, mom?” Kaleb questioned as well.

“Watch your mouth boys. That’s your mother you’re talking to.” Horace chided.

“Sorry…” They said in unison.

“Kaleb. I think what your mom is trying to say is Chase Montgomery is older, and more experienced in life and you are still so very young. You’ve never had a boyfriend before.” He coached.

“I’m gay. He’s gay what else is there?”

“There’s your trust fund son.” Helen stated carefully.

“You think he wants my money?” Kaleb queried incredulously. “He’s got his own money he doesn’t care about mine. And if he wanted money from me, he would have accepted the reward you offered him.” He added.

“He’s got a point there honey.” Horace pointed out.

“Of course he turned it down. He had other things in mind, like boyfriends…I’m sure he knows you’re a Fitzgerald…”

“And…” Kaleb interrupted. “Why can’t he just like me for me, mom? What… is it because I’m different?”

“Yes…I mean no.” Helen tried to correct her statement but it was too late.

“Mom?!” Adam cringed.

“Well. He knows that and it doesn’t matter.” Kaleb added standing to his feet; his tone an octave higher than he intended. Everyone could hear the cracking in his voice as he went up against his mother.

“Kaleb. That’s not what I meant to say.” Helen defended standing to her feet as well.

“You know, mom. No matter what I do, I’ll never meet your standards will I?” Kaleb shook his head in defeat. “May I be excused?” He directed his question to his father avoiding his mom’s sorrowful gaze. Horace nodded through a deep sigh. The room fell silent was Kaleb stormed off.

Great, mom.” Adam said after two beats.

“What?” She feigned innocence. “I just don’t want him to get hurt." She said as she sat back down in her chair.

“That’s your job right.” Adam quiped, his tone laced with anger. “You know he does have feelings and you keep hurting those feelings every chance you get.” He replied as he shook his head. “I’m going to check on him.” He stated as he pushed himself from his seat.

Jenny sat back watching them argue back and forth. She had her opinion about the situation, but dared not voice them. Her mother-in- law had reminded her too many times that she was not a true Fitzgerald. That didn’t matter to Jenny; they were both married into the Fitzgerald’s, but the way Helen treated Kaleb did.

~*~*~

The valet brought Chase’s Silver Mercedes around to the front of the restaurant. He opened the door for Scott, before walking around to the driver’s side to open Chase’s door.

“Thank you…” Chase smiled graciously placing the ticket and two neatly folded five-dollar bills in the palm of the valet’s hand.

Slipping into the car, Chase shifted the car into first gear, then second as he pulled into the oncoming traffic. He adjusted the volume slightly allowing the smooth jazz that he loved so much to fill the interior of the car. Scott smiled as he rested his head against the headrest while reaching over to play in the soft hairs that lay so neatly against Chase’s neck.

“I had a wonderful time tonight.” He sighed contently as he laced his fingers through Chase’s hair.

“It was nice.” Chase smiled keeping his eyes on the road. "You know how much I hate those pretentious parties, but it was for a good cause tonight. You deserve it, Scott." He glanced over giving Scott a warm smile.

"Why thank you, Counselor. Coming from you it means a lot." He returned the smile shifting slightly in his seat chuckling softly to himself. "You know how many "closet cases," were in there tonight?"

"Yeah." Chase laughed. "I've either represented them or slept with ‘em in college."

"I don't want to hear about your sorted sex life, counselor." Scott replied teasingly. "I could see the envy in their eyes when we walked in. We look great together." Chase nodded as he made a left turn. "The guest of honor walking in with the sexiest man in town; but more importantly going home with the sexiest man in Chicago." He glanced at Chase admiringly. "You look really nice tonight."

Chase wore a tailor made black suit that fit his six foot five frame like a glove. His dark auburn hair was styled perfectly, mousse slightly on top, accentuating his deep green eyes.

"Thank you. I would tell you, you look nice as well, but you always look good."

"Well it would be nice to hear it from you every once in a while." Scott smiled bringing his hand out of Chase's hair.

The ride to Scott's place was comfortable. They talked about nothing in particular. Kaleb had invaded Chase's thoughts throughout the night. He knew that eventually he would have to tell Scott about him.

"So..." Chase shifted the car into park but didn't cut the engine.

"Wait...you're not coming in?" Scott asked as he reached for the door.

"No." Chase combed his fingers through his hair with a heavy sigh. "I have a long day tomorrow. It's my last day at the shelter."

"But it's still early." Scott countered. "I have a nice bottle of Merlot waiting on us." He winked suggestively with a sly grin. "We can take a warm bath together, have some wine." He allowed the statement to linger, hoping to lure him in. Chase took a deep breath, turning to face him.

"I've done something." He said, his voice low.

"What? You look serious."

"I am..." Chase admitted as he scratched the side of his cheek. “It is.”

"Okay..." Scott leaned back in his seat. "Tell me."

"I'm not sure where to begin."

"The beginning is always nice."

Chase forced a smile before continuing. "It's been a whirlwind of a week."

Scott nodded his agreement. "I know..." He said consolingly as he placed his hand over Chase's. "You work really hard for Darla and the women there." He exhaled slowly.

"Well. I also met Kaleb Fitzgerald."

"We were just talking about him. He's a nice kid." Scott added.

"He is..." Chase agreed fondly. He wanted to choose his words carefully. With everything going on he hadn't thought about telling Scott right away, but with his proposition, he knew he had to. "He's special."

"I know..." Scott readily agreed.

"No..no." Chase interjected. "I don't mean in the medical sense." He clarified. "I mean, he's kind… sweet. You know?" He eyed Scott with a slow nod. "I've never met anyone like him before." He stressed.

"Okay...and?" Scott questioned with a bit of hesitation.

"He had an accident and I helped him." Scott nodded for him to go on. "Today he made me a picture and lunch and...asked me to be his boyfriend." He stated matter of factly. So much for tact. He thought to himself. Scott sat there mouth agape and eyes wide in stunned silence. Chase squinted at him with confusion.

"Scott?"

"Oh...wow. I wasn't expecting that." Scott stated before breaking out in a boisterous laugh. He cupped his hand over his mouth chuckling between his fingers. "I didn't know the little punk was gay. I'm sure old lady Fitzgerald wasn't pleased with that." He continued to laugh. Chase stared at him as if he had two heads not seeing the humor in any of it.

"That's cute. He has a crush on you."

"Scott, this is serious."

"I'm sorry." Scott smirked as his laughter faded. "What did you say?"

"Yes...." Chase deadpanned.

~*~*~

Adam took a deep breath as he stepped cautiously toward the closed door. He rapped the back of his knuckles lightly against it and waited.

"Kaleb?" He leaned his ear to the door. "Kaleb, buddy it's me, Adam." He announced as he slowly turned the knob letting himself in. The room was dark and still with the faint sound of music echoing through Kaleb's earbuds. Adam stepped around the bed to find his brother sitting on the floor. Kaleb sat with his back against the wall, his legs drawn tightly against his chest.

"Kaleb?" Adam called out as he got closer, his voice non-intrusive.

Kaleb lifted his head from his knee pulling one of the buds from his ear. "Hey..." He forced a smile while pulling out the other bud.

"Hey guy." Adam smiled as he lowered himself down on the floor beside his brother. "What ya listening too?"

"The Black Eye Peas...." Kaleb replied offering the earbuds to his brother. Adam smiled as he placed them in his ears. He bobbed his head to the beat for a few seconds before pulling them out and handing them back to Kaleb.

"You okay?"

"She hates me.." Kaleb frowned with a shrug of the shoulder.

"No she doesn't." Adam bumped shoulders with Kaleb. "She's just concerned that's all."

"She doesn't think Chase would go out with a guy like me."

"That's not it." Adam reassured him. "It's more like she doesn't want you to get hurt."

"Chase wouldn't hurt me." Kaleb stated adamantly, his tone slightly elevated as he defended Chase. "I trust him."

"Okay...Okay." Adam laughed holding his hands up in defense. "I believe you."

"Do you? Do you really?" Kaleb asked. Adam could tell by his tone, he needed him to believe him.

"Yes..." He smiled.

"He's taking me out on a date." Kaleb beamed.

"Really...a date?" Adam bounced his brows teasingly causing Kaleb to blush.

"Yeah..." Kaleb replied nodding excitedly.

"Wow... your first date." Adam mouthed thoughtfully. "My little brother is going out on a date."

"Umhumm...." Kaleb grinned.

"Does mom know?" Adam asked with an arched brow.

"No..." Kaleb frowned ducking his head. Adam wrapped his arm around his little brother’s shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, I'll handle mom." He assured him. "The hardest thing will be finding you something to wear."

"You'll help me?" He asked with wide eyes.

"Of course. I gotta make sure you look hot on your first date. Not to mention I need to meet the guy who deems himself worthy of your time."

"Yeah..." Kaleb fell into his brother's shoulder. "I'm going on my first date with my first boyfriend." He said with a dreamy faraway look in his eyes.

"Of course how could he say no?" Adam smiled as he tightened his hold on Kaleb.

~*~*~

"How could I say no." Chase shrugged.

"Like this....NO!" Scott spat. "Chase, I can't believe you told him you would be his boyfriend." He stated disbelievingly letting out a dejected sigh.

"I did..." Chase turned off the engine resting his fingers on the steering wheel. "It wasn't anything… I planned it just happened."

"It just happened?" Scott parroted. "Shit happens, Chase, not this." Scott shook his head. taken aback. "Okay." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "This can be fixed. We can fix this."

"I don't want to "fix" this...As you put it." Chase used air quotes.

"Huh? What did you just say?" Scott placed his hand to his ear leaning forward.

"I said I don't want to fix this. I'm fine with it."

"You've got to be fuckin kidding me. You're okay with it? I don't believe you." Scott laughed humorlessly. Chase turned slightly so he was facing Scott.

"I know this comes as surprise."

"Ya think?" Scott hissed. Chase closed his eyes and took a deep breath before speaking.

"I don't understand it myself. It's...He's." He smiled as he tried to form a coherent sentence. "He does things to me without even trying." Scott sat back still in awe.

"But you don't even know him. Is he even capable of being in a relationship? How old is he? How severe are his disabilities? Do you even know any of these things, Chase? I mean come on." Scott threw his hands in the air with an exaggerated sigh.

"I want to get to know him. I'm willing to work on the relationship. And as far as his “disabilities” go, he's great with those kids-"

"Of course he is.” Scott quipped rudely interrupting him. “He's a damn kid himself for Christ sake." Chase paused briefly to collect his thoughts. He knew Scott was hurt, confused, and angry. He didn’t feel like this was his fault, he was always honest with Scott. He did care about him and didn’t want to hurt him.

"He's smart.” He added finally. “And He speaks French...fluently."

"And that does what for me?" Scott questioned. " I speak Spanish and I don’t see you all up my ass about it.” He rolled his eyes dismissively. “You wanna know what's really sad?"

Chase sighed scratching behind his ear. "What?" He sighed.

“We’ve been friends for over two years. I’ve tried to give you all the time you need to get your shit together, all the while helping get your name out there. Get you hooked up with the right people. Help you with your career while working on my own so that when you were ready we would be on top. Be a power couple.”

“Scott…” Chase tried to interrupt.

“No, let me finish.” Scott closed his eyes tightly taking a deep breath. “I’ve wanted a relationship with you from the beginning. But, Noooo….you weren’t ready.” He whined mockingly. “And here this kid…”

“Kaleb.” Chase corrected.

“This kid.” Scott stressed, “comes along. Asks you to be his boyfriend and because he’s “special,” and cute. You say yes.”

“That’s not it. You’re wrong.” Chase said reaching for Scott’s hand. Scott frowned looking at Chase’s hand on top of his own. Chase forced a smile before slowing removing it.

“What about us?” Scott asked directly, his hazel eyes locking gazes with emerald green demanding an answer.

“We’re still cool.”

“Then come up with me.” Scott challenged.

“It’s late.”

“Forget the wine, the bath. We can just…”

“I can’t.” Chase sighed.

“Oh my god….” Scott cupped his mouth. “You’re going to have sex with him.”

“Scott….”

“He’s a kid, Chase.”

“No he’s not. And….”

“Mentally he is.” Scott retorted.

“No one said anything about having sex.”

“You’re a thirty year old man, Chase. Being in a relationship with you involves sex. Damn…” Scott turned his head sharply toward the window. “I want to throw up.” He mumbled. Chase sighed. This is exactly the way he knew it would be. Scott wouldn’t understand because, he didn’t understand. All he knew was Kaleb made him feel again. And he hadn’t felt since Lance.

“I’ve gotta go.” Chase voiced faintly.

“Yeah…you do that.” Scott huffed as he snatched open the door. With his body half way out he looked back over his shoulder mincingly. “Thanks for ruining a perfectly good evening. Leave it to you to turn a night about me into one about you. Selfish bastard.” He hissed as he got out slamming the door behind him.

Chase pulled his shoulders up to his ears and sighed heavily. “Was Scott right? Was he being selfish? Did the possibility of maybe feeling whole again cause him to hurt the one person who’d been by his side in spite of. He looked to the window, he knew was Scott’s, watching his silhouette behind the blinds. He didn’t have the answers, but he knew he needed to feel good. He reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out his cell. He scanned the contacts for the number he’d just added today and hit talk. He started the car and shifted to first gear as the phone rang in his ear.

“Hello…” His heart skipped several beats at the sound of his sleepy voice.

“Did I wake you?” He asked already knowing the answer as he shifted into second.

“Yes…”

Chase laughed. He loved his honesty. “I’m sorry to wake you.”

“It’s okay…I’m glad you called.” He could hear Kaleb yawn.

“Me too. I needed to hear your voice.” Chase admitted as he pulled onto the street. “Are we still on for our date tomorrow….”