Finding Alex - 17. Chapter 17

Sacha didn’t want to wake. He wanted to hold on to the blissful darkness, free of pain and fear. He wanted to go to sleep and never wake again. But he could hear someone crying and, despite the pull of oblivion and the knowledge of the pain he would wake to he forced himself to open his eyes.

“James?”

“Oh God, Oh God, Sacha. I thought you were dead. I really thought you were dead. I was afraid…afraid to…. What can I do? How can I help you? How can I make it better?”

“Stop. Let me….” James’ words were dropping into his brain like slivers of glass. Part of him wanted James to just go away, but part of him wanted to reassure and protect him. None of him was angry or bitter. None of him blamed James for what he’d done, and in the end it was James hysterical apologies that spurred him into action.

Turning over was an agony that almost pushed him over the edge of consciousness again. The blood that had seeped from the deep slashes in his skin had soaked into the mattress and dried. When he turned he tore away from the mattress and opened the wounds again.

Gritting his teeth, Sacha tried to sit up, but it defeated him. He was too weak, and his thighs and buttocks were simply too painful to sit on. There were other things, too, things deep inside that screamed at him. Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong.

“Sacha, please. Please say you forgive me. I can’t stand it. I can’t stop thinking about it…seeing it. I can’t…I can’t bear it…what I did to you.”

“It’s okay. If not you; then him. It would have been worse.”

“Worse? How could it have been worse?”

“He’d have enjoyed it.”

James fell silent for a few minutes while Sacha tried to make a mental inventory of his injuries. The outside ones weren’t that bad, as these things went. They weren’t deep and they would heal. But inside….

“James, we have to get out of here.”

“I know. I’m scared. Will he do that to me, Sacha? Will he hurt me like that?”

“No. Too valuable as you are.”

“What do you mean? Valuable?”

James’ face wavered in front of his eyes and he had to blink hard to clear them. “Has… has he been back?”

“No.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know. Not long.”

“An hour?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay. He’ll be here soon.”

James looked around, as if terrified the door was about to open. “Why? What will he do?”

“He’ll come to check I’m okay; bring me drugs.”

“Drugs? What kind of drugs? He won’t drug me, will he?”

“No. For the pain, James. I’m worth too much to let me....” Sacha took a breath, riding waves of pain. He mustn’t pass out. Something was very wrong with him and he was damned if he was going to die here.

“Are you alright?” James asked immediately, still sounding scared to death.

Sacha opened his eyes and smiled at him. “I thought you hated me.”

James froze, then shook his head and smiled back. “No. I kind of hated my brother Alex, but my brother Sacha’s different. He’s cool.”

“Not a…” Sacha grunted and bit his lip. He needed to calm James down. If they were going to get away with the plan that was forming in his mind, James had to be calm and have his wits about him. “Not a cowardly, girly little freak.”

“No. I’ll never say anything like that again. After what you did for me…. I’m sorry I treated you like I did. I’m sorry I was such a bastard to you.”

Sacha shook his head. “It’s okay, I understand. Really, I do. I understand.”

“Were you scared, Sacha? Back home. Were you really scared?”

“Yes, I was scared. I was scared all the time.”

“I’m sorry I made you more scared.”

“Only a bit.”

“I won’t do it again. I’ll do everything I can to make you not scared.”

Tiredly, Sacha nodded. To be truthful, right at that moment he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything much – only getting out of here.

“We have to get out of here, James, and we have to do it soon. I have an idea. You have to be brave.”

“What? Why? What are you going to do? Is it dangerous?”

“Yes, it’s dangerous. Any plan’s going to be dangerous. Ryland won’t let us go easily, and his man’s got a gun. If we don’t get it just right, either one of them could kill us.”

“I…. I’m scared. I don’t want to die.”

“Give them a couple of weeks and you might change your mind on that.” Sacha sighed, wondering if he should tell James the truth.

“But…You told me I could escape later, when they send me outside. You could do the same. You could do what you did last time.”

“Do you really think Ryland’s going to let that happen? He’s too clever for that. He trusted me then; he doesn’t now. He’s not going to let me out of his sight.”

“I could get help. I could—”

“We have to get out now, James. I won’t…. I’m really hurt. I need help. Ryland won’t give it to me; not that much. He’ll give me drugs to ease the pain, antiseptics to stop infections, salve for the wounds, but this time it won’t be enough.”

“I’ll take care of you, too, I promise; really good care. I won’t let anything happen to you. Not anymore. I’ll bathe your wounds and…and feed you, if I have to. I’ll…. I’ll….”

Sacha shook his head, “It’s not enough. I’m hurt on the inside, James. I’m dying. This is the only chance I’ll have.”

James’s face was slack with shock. He shook his head. “No. No, you’ll be alright. Like you said…you’re too valuable for Ryland to let you die like this. He’ll take care of you. You said he would.”

“He’ll take care of me as best he can. He won’t send me to a hospital, though. He’ll make sure I’m pain free and comfortable but I’ll still die if we don’t get out of here. Give him five minutes and he’ll know that. He’ll separate us and that’s it. We either get out now or not at all.”

James bit his lip, scouring Sacha’s face, then finally nodded. “What do I have to do?”

“When Ryland comes in, he’ll come to me. The other guy will cover you with a gun.”

“How do you know?”

“I know him, James. I know him well enough to know that.”

“Okay. What happens next?”

“You have to get the gun.”

“What? But how?”

“You have to find a weapon. Anything. He’ll have the gun pointed at you, but he’ll be looking at us. You have one chance to take him by surprise. Hit his gun arm, then his head. It’s dangerous but my only chance. Get the gun.”

“What about Ryland?”

“Leave him to me. Get the gun and give it to me and we’re out of here.”

“Can you walk?”

“If I have to.”

“O…okay, I’ll try. What can I use as a weapon?”

“Anything you can hit him with. Can you get a leg off the table? Does the toilet cistern have a lid you can get off? If the worst comes to the worst, rip out the plumbing and use a pipe.”

James nodded. “I’ll see what I can do. Are you…? Do you need anything? Can I do anything?”

Sacha shook his head. “Listen at the door. Make sure I’m awake when you hear them come. Then stand over by the door…behind the door. Hide the weapon until Ryland’s on his knees.”

“What do you mean, on his knees?”

“He’ll kneel down by me to check. That’s when you move.”

“What about Ryland?”

“Leave him to me. Give me the gun when you can.”

“O…okay. What if…?”

“Don’t think of that. One step at a time.”

James nodded. He seemed reluctant to move from Sacha’s side. “Go on. If you don’t find something before they come, the plan’s off and I don’t know….”

“They’ll come again though, won’t they? If we can’t do it this time, they’ll come again. Maybe Ryland will send the man on his own to check on you? Maybe then, we’ll only have one to worry about.”

Sacha took a deep breath and winced. Breathing wasn’t hard, not as such, but taking a deep breath hurt his ribs. He struggled with what to say, how much to tell James. He didn’t want to panic him, but on the other hand he had to make him see this was a once only chance. “That’s true but…. I…. I don’t if I have time for another go later.”

“Why not? It’s not as if you have anything else to do.”

Sacha closed his eyes and sighed. He really didn’t want to have to do this, but James had to realize there was no room for error in this. Failure was not an option. At least not for him. “James…I didn’t want to have to say this, but…. Something’s broken, James. Something inside. I’ve been beaten before, many times, sometimes worse than this, but I’ve never felt like this before. I’m slipping away; I know I am and I don’t think I have long.”

“No.” James clamped his hands over his mouth and Sacha didn’t know if it was to stop himself being sick, or screaming. He felt pretty much the same himself, although he had an idea that if he tried to move he’d do both. Nausea was already burning his throat and it took strength of will to keep his stomach where it was supposed to be. With another huge effort of will, Sacha raised his hand and gripped James’.

“It’s going to be alright. Trust me. You can do it. You can save us both.”

“Promise? Promise you’ll be okay?”

Sacha chuckled. “No one could promise that. I promise I’ll try.”

“That’ll have to do, won’t it?”

Sacha nodded. “Go find a weapon, then listen at the door. Wake me when it’s time.”

“Won’t you talk to me? Help me?”

“It takes a lot of energy, James. I need to rest so I can do what I need to do.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Take care of Ryland. Just go.” To be honest, all Sacha wanted was for James to go away. He hadn’t lied, talking to him was sapping energy he couldn’t afford to lose. More than that, it was hard to reassure him when the only thing he was sure of himself was the burning pain inside him that was getting worse and would eventually overcome him.

As soon as James had gone, he closed his eyes and willed the pain to stop. Of course, it didn’t. Eventually, he started to doze, forcing himself awake when he became aware of it…until he couldn’t anymore.

He awoke with a start that hurt and made him gasp.

“Sacha.” He raised his head to see James standing by the door with a length of pipe in his hand. “They’re coming.”

Sacha nodded. “Good luck.”

James smiled. “You too.”

Sacha closed his eyes, trying to draw his energy to his shaking muscles. He had to do this – for both of them. He heard the door open and footsteps on the concrete floor. As anticipated, Ryland walked straight across the floor and knelt beside the mattress, leaning over Sacha.

In the background, Sacha heard noise – a bang, a grunt, something clattering to the floor – but he couldn’t think of that. He had his own part to play. When Ryland would have turned to see what was going on behind him, Sacha grabbed his hair, on either side of his head, and butted him as hard as he could. Ryland pulled back with a cry of pain and anger and Sacha punched him hard in the stomach.

Instead of collapsing, as Sacha had hoped, Ryland laughed at him. With blood streaming down his face from his nose and his eyes wide and wild, Ryland looked the demon he was. He hit Sacha hard across the face and Sacha tasted blood.

“Little bitch. What did you think you were going to do? Beat me up? You’re pathetic. You couldn’t beat up a baby. You’re just a pretty little piece of nothing, good for only one thing. Is that what you want, pretty baby? Have you missed it?” Ryland grabbed Sacha’s penis so hard he yelped. “Do you want me to bring this to life? It’s just about the only part of you with any life left.”

“Let go of him.”

Ryland looked over his shoulder and froze.

“I said, let go of him.”

“Or what?” Ryland sneered at James, but let go of Sacha and sat back on his heels. “What are you going to do, boy, shoot me? I don’t think so. You’re a spoiled little bitch and you wouldn’t have the guts to shoot a rabbit.”

“I do have the guts. After what you did, you’re nothing more than an animal, and I’ve hunted animals before.”

Sacha shivered. James’ voice and hands were shaking but there was something in his voice and something in his eyes. Sacha was pretty sure he was capable of shooting Ryland and he didn’t want that. He didn’t want it at all.

“Give me the gun, James,” Sacha said. “You can’t kill him. If you kill him you’ll hurt yourself. You’ll never be the same again. It will scar your soul. I’ve seen people who’ve killed and they all have a darkness about them. You’re not made for that; not meant for it. If you kill him, it will take away your innocence and he’s not worth that. He’s not worth it.”

The speech exhausted him and he closed his eyes for a moment, fighting away the darkness. When he opened his eyes and raised his head, he saw that James had done a good job with the lackey, who was sprawled on the floor, out cold. “Give me the gun, James,” he said, holding out his hand, trying to stop it shaking.

Ryland, maybe because he saw the same things in James as Sacha had, remained silent, watchful. James edged closer and circled, still keeping the gun pointed at Ryland.

“Give it to me, James. It’ll be okay, I promise. I said I’d get you out of here, and I will, but you can’t do this. You mustn’t do this.”

“I don’t know what to do, Sacha. I don’t want him to hurt you again.”

“He won’t. I promise. He won’t hurt me again, or you. Just give it to me, and I’ll take care of it.”

“But—”

“Give me the gun,” Sacha snapped, coming near the end of his endurance. He had to have the strength to see this through and what strength he had was rapidly dissipating.

James jumped, and handed the gun to Sacha. Ryland visibly relaxed, even as Sacha pointed the gun at him.

“Give it up, Sacha. You and I both know you’re not going to pull that trigger.”

“Really?”

Ryland reached for Sacha’s wrist and Sacha shot him in the shoulder. Ryland howled with pain and drew back, pressing his hand over his shoulder. “Jesus Christ, Sacha, what do you think you’re doing. You’re going to pay for this. I’ll kill you, I swear it.”

“Too late,” Sacha said, smiling at him. He was beginning to float above the bed and knew unconsciousness was coming fast.

“Look,” Ryland seemed to have pulled himself together enough to see the danger in the situation. “You’re not going to kill me, Sacha. You know that as well as I do. Everything you said to your brother is true for you. You don’t want this on your conscience, do you? For the rest of your life? You’d be a killer. You’re not a killer, Sacha. You’ll never be a killer. You’re exactly what I made you.”

“Yes. I am. Exactly.” Sacha smiled again, a beatific smile that brought a flash of fear to Ryland’s eyes and wiped the smile of his face.

“Sacha, give me the gun. You’re not well. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

“But I do. I do know what I’m doing. I’m doing what I should have done a long time ago. I’m finally saving them.”

“Saving who? Sacha, you’re not making sense. You’re fading out and you’re not thinking clearly.” Ryland reached out his hand and Sacha’s eyes which, he suddenly realized had half closed, snapped open.

“Get back,” Sacha snapped and Ryland snatched his hand away.

“Sacha, you’re not going to kill him are you? I…. What should I do?”

Without taking his eyes off Ryland, Sacha said, “Go look for a phone and call for help. If you can find a mobile, that would be best because they can trace the call. I doubt we’re anywhere close to The City. Ryland doesn’t like there to be anyone close enough to hear the screams.”

“What…what about the other man?”

“When you’ve found the phone you can tie him up. Use our clothes.”

“Okay. Will you be alright on your own?”

“Yes, I’ll be alright.”

Sacha waited until he was sure James was out of the room, then he steadied the gun with both hands. “I’m going to save them, Ryland, all the kids you’d have hurt. All those you’d turn into things like me. I’ve got no life, Ryland. You took it away from me. Now I’m going to take yours away from you.”

“You won’t do it,” Ryland sneered. “You haven’t got it in you. You’re a pussy. I might as well have given you one.” He sneered. “Look at you. Another minute and you’ll be out of it.”

“I know. That’s why I can’t wait. I’ll get better, Ryland. I have a family now, a rich one. I’m going to live in luxury for the rest of my life. I’m going to be fine.”

“Right. You couldn’t live like that. You’re my bitch. I made you, and I didn’t make you for that kind of life.”

“No, you didn’t, and that’s why I can do this. You made into the kind of creature who can point a gun at someone and pull the trigger. I told James not to do it because it would bring darkness to his soul. Well, you’ve already filled mine with darkness so I’ve got nothing to lose.”

Ryland smirked again, but the smile faded fast as he looked into Sacha’s eyes. “Don’t do this. Please. You can’t do this to me.” He started edging away, keeping his eyes fixed on Sacha. They were still fixed on Sacha when Sacha pulled the trigger. It was the last thing he did before he let the darkness swallow him.