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    Wayne Gray
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Wayne's Poems - 21. Dad

"You can come home, but never bring him."
He said as he stared at me.

Like a coward, in need of his love,
I nod one time to agree.

And now viewed through the clear lens of time,
I know that was all he had.

But I will not trade away my heart,
just so I can call him ... dad.

I wrote this years ago, shortly after a visit to see my family. My father is gone now, and I wish we would have had more time to work through the issues he had surrounding who I loved.

But we don't always get what we want.

Copyright © 2019 Wayne Gray; All Rights Reserved.

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A beautiful poem, Wayne. I'm sorry you've had to go through what you have with your family. 

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2 minutes ago, Thorn Wilde said:

A beautiful poem, Wayne. I'm sorry you've had to go through what you have with your family. 

Thank you. I'm sorry too. I would have loved to have had them remain a part of my life.

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These things don't go away. I know that from my own experiences, even though I was somehow granted a HEA with my dad. And that was his doing, so I acknowledge his bravery. But the things he'd said years earlier, the way he'd threatened my first BF and me with violence and worse....that does not just go away.

Hugs for you, my friend.

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4 minutes ago, AC Benus said:

These things don't go away. I know that from my own experiences, even though I was somehow granted a HEA with my dad. And that was his doing, so I acknowledge his bravery. But the things he'd said years earlier, the way he'd threatened my first BF and me with violence and worse....that does not just go away.

Hugs for you, my friend.

I'm so very glad you got that with your dad, AC. That's amazing. You're so right - the past stuff doesn't go away. But at least things progressed beyond those darker moments to something just a bit brighter.

My loss happened ... but I'm so happy you avoided it.

Thank you, AC.

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I’m sorry for the pain you express and  that I feel in this poem. It is so very eloquent. 

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2 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

I’m sorry for the pain you express and  that I feel in this poem. It is so very eloquent. 

Thank you, Parker.

I had hopes that, with time, my father would come around, and we could have a real, honest and complete relationship. It wasn't to be.

He loved me ... I know that. It was flawed, but he loved me. At least I had that.

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In all you write, you have a true gift of sharing more than mere words:  even in a few words you create a powerful life experience.  I echo the sentiments expressed so eloquently in the comments - my own father stopped communicating with me at age 12 other than very superficial comments (hello, goodbye)...a position I have made certain not to do with my own son who is in so many ways the opposite of me in personality, likes, etc., but a wonderful person in his own way.  We don't agree on lots of "likes", but I totally respect him, and he, me.  That makes things good in life for me, though that loss of the relationship I really wanted with my own father still exists - and he's been gone for 25 years!  It just goes to show:  we don't always have everything we want in life, but what we have are true blessings and we can be content with what we have!  Thank you for sharing so much.

Tony

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I didn't have a good relationship with my dad, but we worked it out before he passed due to cancer. I like to think we were in a better place there at the end. Your poem reminded me of that.

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I'm sorry you have that experience to remember your dad, but I'm sadder for your dad and all the dads who put conditions on their love for their children...

Edited by Daddydavek
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