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North to Alaska

A blog by Dark in Member

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For Gareth with love

Dark

Entry posted by Dark

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On Monday, July 22nd, my cat died. Gareth was 9 years old. We don't really know what happened and probably never will. What we do know is that for some reason he was out on my parents' deck and either fell or jumped. He broke his back. I pray he died quickly but if it was otherwise, I don't want to know.

 

That little cat was my everything and it's fucking breaking my heart. Gareth came into my life when he was six months old. When I broke up with the man I thought I'd be with for the rest of my life, Gareth would climb into my lap and bump me with his head. He'd beep his strange, half-meows and remind me that I had better things to do than feel sorry for myself, namely feeding him. Even cats have their priorities.

 

I couldn't sleep last night. I even through my backpack on the bed to simulate the extra weight by my feet even though Gareth would sprawl across my ankles. Today I face taking apart the cat tree and litter box and putting away his toys. There's also a petco order due to arrive, things I'd gotten for sending out to my new home. It's only my home now for there's no one to share it with. Gareth won't meet me at the door and loudly tell me about his day. He won't lay on my keyboard or beg to share my dinner. He won't be sprawled on the back of the sofa, his tail whapping me as I grade papers.

 

I know the pain will fade eventually. With him I didn't feel alone. He gave me strength because if he could plot to take over the world then I could surely follow my dreams. Please God let Gareth chase lots of mice and eat as much as he wants now that he doesn't have to watch his weight.

 

Gareth was the inspiration behind Rick's cat (from The One I Want) and there's a picture in my albums somewhere. I'm painstakingly typing this on my phone, so I haven't figured out how to do links.

 

That little cat was such a huge part of my life from the first moment he leaped into my arms. I haven't cried this much in years and I don't want to go to Chevak without him. He may have been only a cat but he was my friend and I loved him with all my heart.

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joann414

joann414 4,134

Posted

Never say only a cat or only a dog.  They become our family Dark.  Your post made me cry.  I can't imagine losing my little dog or my new kitten that I acquired a month or so ago.  She's already spoiled also.  Nothing I say will make you feel better.  I cry sometimes just thinking about something happening to Gypsy Rose(my dog)..She's my constant companion when I am home and even makes long trips with us.

 

My heart goes out to you.  Gareth, I'm sure knew how much you loved him and I'm sure you had no doubt of his love for you.  They become such a part of us and leave a gap in our lives when their life comes to an unexpected end like that.  I'll be thinking about you.  Maybe you will find you a new friend in Alaska that will remind you of Gareth.  None will ever take his place, but maybe they can fill the void in your heart.  Hugs over and over.

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MikeL

MikeL 2,841

Posted

Back in the winter, our 19-year old yellow cat, who was blind and deaf, got out of the house without our knowing.  We found him dead two days later and just two doors away where he had been hit by a car.  It was obviously a quick death considering that his head was crushed.  That's a blessing for him...no suffering.

 

It's a small world.  We recently got a long-haired calico cat, whom my wife named Gypsy Rose because of her long, fluffy tail which looked like a fan dancer's costume.  The kitty is popular with the grandchildren, but she keeps her distance from them.  For their sake we shortened her name to Gypsy.  When one of the two-year olds had trouble with that, her name became Gypy (Gyppy).

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Ieshwar

Ieshwar 733

Posted

Pets are part of the family as much as humans. I don't know what I will do without my dogs...

 

I am sure that Gareth is in a good place right now. :) Special thoughts to that special little cat.

 

Hugs

Ieshwar

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Zombie

Zombie 13,412

Posted

I'm very sorry for your loss, Dark. The companionship of a loved pet is very special, and the loss of that companionship is hard for those who've not experienced it to understand.  I hope in time you can find another companion to share your life with :)

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Former Member

Former Member 5,642

Posted

So sorry for your loss, Dark.  I know how empty that void in your chest can feel.  As Joann said, it's not ONLY a cat.  I hope you can find someone new to share your dreams with.  Lots of hugs.

CassieQ

CassieQ 21,130

Posted

So sorry for you loss.  Losing a pet is hard.  I lost both of mine last year and I still miss them.  :hug:

  • Like 1
Percy

Percy 973

Posted

I am sorry about your cat, Dark.  It's a sad story.  Cats each have such unique personalities and yours seemed very bonded to you.

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lilansui

lilansui 16,365

Posted

So sorry for your loss, Dark. He'll watch over you always.

  • Like 1
asamvav111

asamvav111 1,617

Posted

RIP Gareth. Hugs. Only reason I never wanted a pet is that they make you so damn sad when they leave you prematurely or otherwise. I think it is like loosing a friend or sibling. That can never feel good. Bear with it and let time do its trick.

  • Like 1
Breeze

Breeze 220

Posted

So sorry for your loss Dark. Like Percy said cats are so unique. We recently had to put down an elderly cat (he was quite ill as well)in our home, so its sad around here too.

  • Like 1
A.J.

A.J. 1,947

Posted

Dark, I saw a bumper sticker on the way to work yesterday and I thought of you and this blog entry.  The sticker read:

 

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: MUSIC and CATS. -- Albert Schweitzer

 

My cat Callie died around the beginning of 2013.  Callie wasn't a friendly cat most of the time.  She liked to observe from a distance and plan sneak attacks.  I never realized how attached I was to her until she was gone.  I missed seeing her on the cat tree giving me a dirty look because my noise disturbed her.  About a month before Callie passed I was given a new black kitten.  I thought maybe Callie needed another cat since she didn't really bond with humans.  Ariel is the opposite of Callie -- almost too clingy.  Ariel made Callie's passing easier, but I still miss seeing Callie or watching her chase the little red dot when I would play with her using the laser pointer.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

  • Like 1
Slytherin

Slytherin 24,307

Posted

Sorry for your loss :hug: and reading your post made me cry, I love cats :(

  • Like 1
Daddydavek

Daddydavek 42,424

Posted

Just caught up with this today and wanted to add that I am sorry for your loss.  Dogs and cats have been part of the human family as pets for thousands of years for a reason.  We love them and they love us.   Losing one is hard, but the joy they brought while living is too precious to forego having them in the first place!

 

My advice, wait a bit but look into adopting one from a shelter.

  • Like 1
DynoReads

DynoReads 1,197

Posted

We had a cat jump/fall off a second story balcony, about 15 feet, and break a leg in 3 places. According to our vets cats fall more than people would think.  

 

Years ago a young driver hit and killed my brother's dog after a blizzard.  He mailed us a card with a copy of "Rainbow Bridge" in it.  I hope this brings you comfort http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

  • Like 1

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