C James Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 The next chapter of LTMP is up Now we have a forum, I wanted to try individual chapter threads. Please let me know what y'all think! CJ
Site Administrator Graeme Posted August 17, 2007 Site Administrator Posted August 17, 2007 Now we have a forum, I wanted to try individual chapter threads. Please let me know what y'all think! I think individual chapter threads is worth doing. It helps those who are coming in late -- they can read old chapter threads without getting spoilers on the later chapters. Oh, you mean about chapter 4? Why didn't you say so? Nice chapter Brandon's still confused, but in a good way. I really like the way that even though he was given an obvious lead to become a freeloader on the band, he never even thought about taking it and won't take money that he hasn't earnt. He's got a very good work ethic and that should mean good news for the band.
Bondwriter Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 Nice chapter Brandon's still confused, but in a good way. I really like the way that even though he was given an obvious lead to become a freeloader on the band, he never even thought about taking it and won't take money that he hasn't earnt. He's got a very good work ethic and that should mean good news for the band. Brandon is definitely a good guy. The three brothers could have paid a little more attention to his situation, and made it clear he could crash at the hotel after the party. At least they're getting a bit more aware of the crew's situation thanks to Brandon's. Is it really work ethics? Getting to become the front man for your favorite band is not like taking up any job, so you'd do anything for the position in the beginning. I hope Helen tightens the bolts a bit on the whole business stuff, so the guys can focus on creative stuff, and let her fire Gabe, who doesn't end up being the hero as I first thought. Something came to my mind about a lot of Helen's reactions: in her job, and since she's rather bossy, she should just call a meeting to announce her decisions. I mean, it would be less fun for us readers, but professionally better if she handled the Brandon situation all on her own. I think fronting a few hundreds of dollars for clothing is no problem for her, and if Brandon is accommodated and fed, he may sure wait for a bit before he gets a paycheck. As for the Scar, is he some kind of restaurant magazine reviewer?
phrere Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 i'm totally falling in love with this story!!!! i hope chase makes a move soon....hehe and i'm still not completely sure jon is straight...lol anyway, i love it, keep up the great work!!! *hugs*
Site Administrator Graeme Posted August 17, 2007 Site Administrator Posted August 17, 2007 Brandon is definitely a good guy. The three brothers could have paid a little more attention to his situation, and made it clear he could crash at the hotel after the party. At least they're getting a bit more aware of the crew's situation thanks to Brandon's. Is it really work ethics? Getting to become the front man for your favorite band is not like taking up any job, so you'd do anything for the position in the beginning. I read it as he thought he still had to work. He didn't expect any money for fronting the band until after the concert, so he still needed an income. The idea of asking for an advance seems alien to him -- even when the idea came up, he still came over as not sure it was the right thing to do. I hope Helen tightens the bolts a bit on the whole business stuff, so the guys can focus on creative stuff, and let her fire Gabe, who doesn't end up being the hero as I first thought. Something came to my mind about a lot of Helen's reactions: in her job, and since she's rather bossy, she should just call a meeting to announce her decisions. I mean, it would be less fun for us readers, but professionally better if she handled the Brandon situation all on her own. I think fronting a few hundreds of dollars for clothing is no problem for her, and if Brandon is accommodated and fed, he may sure wait for a bit before he gets a paycheck. A lot depends on Helen's actual position. She indicated she does NOT have the authority to investigate the financial books of the crew -- she needed permission to do so. It sounds like the way the position was structured is that she has very firm lines around what she is allowed to do. Yes, she's their manager, but it looks like the contracts were done by the boys' father, and he's been very cautious about allowing someone else to control the boys in any way. One other thing that I've thought of. It could be that I'm stereotyping our esteemed goat, but I think we'll find that Gabe is some sort of significant player in a criminal organisation. Besides not being a nice man, he appears to be involved in embezzling at the least. Given the prologue, I wouldn't be surprised if he also has a sideline of building nuclear weapons.... As for the Scar, is he some kind of restaurant magazine reviewer? I'm voting for travel show host....
Bondwriter Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 I read it as he thought he still had to work. He didn't expect any money for fronting the band until after the concert, so he still needed an income. The idea of asking for an advance seems alien to him -- even when the idea came up, he still came over as not sure it was the right thing to do. Yes, this makes Brandon look not as a venial character. But as I put it before, his interest come from the fan factor more than from an attraction to money. Though once the show gets going, he'll have more concerns over the running of things, I would imagine. A lot depends on Helen's actual position. She indicated she does NOT have the authority to investigate the financial books of the crew -- she needed permission to do so. It sounds like the way the position was structured is that she has very firm lines around what she is allowed to do. Yes, she's their manager, but it looks like the contracts were done by the boys' father, and he's been very cautious about allowing someone else to control the boys in any way. I was aware of this too. I expect our author to have the father behave like some jerk and not be happy about Clump being sacked ("What is a little heroin addiction compared to the abomination Chase shamelessly revels in?"). What I meant is that Helen apparently has some say in hiring a new singer, and that she should have had a checklist of legal/ money issues and come up with solutions right away. BUT this is a fiction, written by an evil author who likes to jeopardize his poor characters. One other thing that I've thought of. It could be that I'm stereotyping our esteemed goat, but I think we'll find that Gabe is some sort of significant player in a criminal organisation. Besides not being a nice man, he appears to be involved in embezzling at the least. Given the prologue, I wouldn't be surprised if he also has a sideline of building nuclear weapons.... How could you imagine such a thing?
Mizu Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 loving this story... really hope brenden and chase get together soon.... but ya.... I believe that Gabe will somehow get tied into something much bigger... otherwise, unless the bombs are meant for Instinct, it is kinda hard to see the cast being roped into a atomic bomb plot...
Bondwriter Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 loving this story... really hope brenden and chase get together soon.... but ya.... I believe that Gabe will somehow get tied into something much bigger... otherwise, unless the bombs are meant for Instinct, it is kinda hard to see the cast being roped into a atomic bomb plot... You, man of little faith! Do believe in the Evil Power of The Goat!
EMoe57 Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 Brandon is definitely a good guy. The three brothers could have paid a little more attention to his situation, and made it clear he could crash at the hotel after the party. .I think this speaks to the brother's changed perspective. They
Ieshwar Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 Hi CJ, I just read the fourth chapter and it's really good. As usual! But I think Brandon is a bit to self-respecting. I mean, he's definitely like a fish out of water! He hasn't seem to accepted his luck or new life. What will happen when he'll be dating Chase? Chase and his brothers are really cool. I have noticed the way they just jump to defend Brandon. So sweet and cool!! I think Helen-Gabe shippers will be quite disappointed after this chapter but do you think this hate can become love? Great Job, CJ! Waiting for more, Take care, Ieshwar
Site Administrator Graeme Posted August 17, 2007 Site Administrator Posted August 17, 2007 I think this speaks to the brother's changed perspective. They’ve been living in hotels for awhile now. There was a comment earlier about the isolation they experience. I think they’ve got some growing of their own to do yet. I agree. Once you've settled into a particular style of living, it's hard to realise that others don't live that way. The boys would've just naturally assumed that Brandon understood the way things worked -- something even more obvious when you realise that they were thinking he was also staying in a hotel. Oh, and most of your quotes should've been attributed to Bondwriter, not me One thing that occurred to me last night was that Helen is their manager, not their accountant. As such, she may not appreciate the finer details of the situation. Industrial law and workplace reform is a big topic here in Australia at the moment, with a federal election looming sometime in the next few months. As a consequence, I came up with a scenario where what Gabe (and anyone else involved) is doing is completely legal, even if ethically dishonest. Consider the following: 1. The company "Instinct" needs to hire roadies. 2. A company "Instinct Roadies" is formed by Gabe (and others?) to provide the roadies that "Instinct" needs. 3. They negotiate a deal where "Instinct" pays "Instinct Roadies" a per diem rate to cover accommodation and meals, in addition to an above minimum wage rate. 4. "Instinct Roadies" hires roadies. 5. "Instinct Roadies" then provide the roadies to "Instinct" Please note that the pay and conditions under which "Instinct Roadies" hires their roadies can be completely different to the deal negotiated between "Instinct" and "Instinct Roadies". "Instinct" is paying a per diem rate for meals and accommodation, but "Instinct Roadies" is under no obligation to pass that on to its employees. Using a probably very conservative figure of $50 a day to cover meals and accommodation, and assuming 10 roadies (probably small for a band of four), that's $500 per day that "Instinct Roadies" makes, just on this part. Paying it's employees minimum wage while charging "Instinct" an above minimum wage is another source of income. It doesn't take much to realised that "Instinct Roadies" can make over $100,000 (and probably WELL over that figure) a year -- without doing anything except suppling roadies to "Instinct". Assuming appropriate contracts, all of this would be legal (if distasteful) in Australia, and presumably in the USA. Helen, being a manager rather than an accountant, may think what is going on is illegal, but it may not be.
EMoe57 Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 Oh, and most of your quotes should've been attributed to Bondwriter, not me ARG! Sorry about that, Graeme/Bondwriter - when I broke it up into sections, I grabbed the wrong header to cut-n-paste. I've fixed it now. Using a probably very conservative figure of $50 a day to cover meals and accommodation, and assuming 10 roadies (probably small for a band of four), that's $500 per day that "Instinct Roadies" makes, just on this part. Paying it's employees minimum wage while charging "Instinct" an above minimum wage is another source of income. It doesn't take much to realised that "Instinct Roadies" can make over $100,000 (and probably WELL over that figure) a year -- without doing anything except suppling roadies to "Instinct".Nothing dishonest about this situation if it is set up this way. As an example, my company charges $125 a hour to fix a client's computer problems. Everyone involved knows all that money isn't going into my pocket.
Conner Posted August 17, 2007 Posted August 17, 2007 This story is definitely following my fantasy of how it should go. Good for you, CJ! Next chapter will have a scene where Chase accompnaies Brandon to his "hotel" to recover his personal belongings. Overwhelmed by all the events so far as well as being with Chase, Brandon completely forgets about the poster of Chase on his wall. Yes, I think you can all see it now. The scene ends with a tonsil massaging kiss. Gabe is just your average every day petty thief asshole. Anyone involved in a nuclear explosion plot would not want Gabe aboard. If he is aboard, it would only mean that he is being used by others for their own ends. I'm really enjoying Helen's character. I can't wait to see the handcuffs being slapped on Gabe. Conner
Site Administrator Graeme Posted August 17, 2007 Site Administrator Posted August 17, 2007 Nothing dishonest about this situation if it is set up this way. As an example, my company charges $125 a hour to fix a client's computer problems. Everyone involved knows all that money isn't going into my pocket. It's dishonest if there the people paying the bills have been deliberately mislead regarding payments. For example, my company typically charges meals and accommodation back to the customer at cost. It would be fraudulent of us to charge the customer for such expenses if they were never actually paid by my company in the first place. In the scenario I have, if "Instinct" has been lead to believe that the amount they are being charged for meals and accommodation are being passed onto the roadies, and they aren't, then that is dishonest, even if the setup may allow it to be legal. Of course, there is still the possibility that the conduct of Gabe is illegal if the roadies are direct employees/contractors of Instinct. We'll probably find out in the next chapter. Next chapter will have a scene where Chase accompnaies Brandon to his "hotel" to recover his personal belongings. Overwhelmed by all the events so far as well as being with Chase, Brandon completely forgets about the poster of Chase on his wall. Yes, I think you can all see it now. The scene ends with a tonsil massaging kiss. That would be nice. Of course, Brandon has been explicitly told NOT to go back to his room so if he went back he'd have Helen to answer to....
bizzymom38 Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Thank you Mr. James so much for sharing this wonderful story......... I read your other story.......... For the love........ which I absolutley loved........ I think the rest of you'all need to get a grip, what will be , will be.......... it's all in Mr. James twisted mind what is going to happen and why there are atomic bombs and scar faces and deceptions.... hehehehe........... We just need to be patient and wait to see what comes out of the typed works......... Thank you again for sharing this wonderful tale.......... I feel sorry for Brandon.......... poor kid, I think he is overwhelmed......... the rest are so used to this lap of luxury, they don't have a clue what is going on with Brandon.......... Thanks again hugs Susan
EMoe57 Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 It's dishonest if there the people paying the bills have been deliberately mislead regarding payments. I completely agree in the circumstance you depicted. If Instinct is being billed for food & lodging for the roadies and their is in fact no such expense, that is fraud plain and simple. I was just giving a situation that reflects where the rate billed is not the rate recieved on theother end. I think the rest of you'all need to get a grip, what will be , will be.......... First let me welcome you, Susan. This is a great place to put up your virgin post. Second, half the fun of the forum is second-guessing and taking pot-shots at CJ. Now if he would just hold still while I warm up a branding iron :fire: Oh, and CJ, after your comment in the forum about putting in someone named I almost worked in calling the pizza guy since they wouldn't let just anybody wander into and around the building... Maybe Scarface will be named - Is he German?
Site Administrator Graeme Posted August 18, 2007 Site Administrator Posted August 18, 2007 Thank you Mr. James so much for sharing this wonderful story......... I read your other story.......... For the love........ which I absolutley loved........ Hear, hear! I think the rest of you'all need to get a grip, what will be , will be.......... it's all in Mr. James twisted mind what is going to happen and why there are atomic bombs and scar faces and deceptions.... hehehehe...........We just need to be patient and wait to see what comes out of the typed works......... I'll add my welcome It's good to see someone else posting here. CJ still thinks he's a beginner author and the more people who tell him otherwise, the sooner the truth will sink in We know that we have little, if any, influence on what is going on, but because our beloved goat has such a twisted mind, it's fun to try to second guess what is going on. Most of the time we get it hopeless wrong, but sometimes we get it right Now, this raises a question that I put to CJ a while ago, and he dodged... We have Domaholics for the Dom Luka fans, and Danimals for the dkstories fans. What is the correct term for a C James fan? If people are interested in making suggestions, we can start a new thread to collate the ideas.
Bondwriter Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 One thing that occurred to me last night was that Helen is their manager, not their accountant. As such, she may not appreciate the finer details of the situation. Industrial law and workplace reform is a big topic here in Australia at the moment, with a federal election looming sometime in the next few months. As a consequence, I came up with a scenario where what Gabe (and anyone else involved) is doing is completely legal, even if ethically dishonest. Consider the following: 1. The company "Instinct" needs to hire roadies. 2. A company "Instinct Roadies" is formed by Gabe (and others?) to provide the roadies that "Instinct" needs. 3. They negotiate a deal where "Instinct" pays "Instinct Roadies" a per diem rate to cover accommodation and meals, in addition to an above minimum wage rate. 4. "Instinct Roadies" hires roadies. 5. "Instinct Roadies" then provide the roadies to "Instinct" (...) Assuming appropriate contracts, all of this would be legal (if distasteful) in Australia, and presumably in the USA. Helen, being a manager rather than an accountant, may think what is going on is illegal, but it may not be. This would be basic outsourcing. But Chase talked about OUR crew, so I'd assume he thinks they hire (they being the band) the roadies. As for Helen, as a manager, she could have a checklist of things to say when getting someone in. That was what I meant. All of the recruiting went down quickly, so I see how she could forget such things, but I remember getting into a band and once the audition was over, all the money/ administrative questions were studied carefully. Nothing dishonest about this situation if it is set up this way. As an example, my company charges $125 a hour to fix a client's computer problems. Everyone involved knows all that money isn't going into my pocket. I agree that the outsourcing and the fee paid for a service are two different things. What is plain unfair from the situations I know in the service industry is company A (a bank/ insurance company or other big organization used to paying huge fees) hires company B, which has a nice website selling its technical expertise. Company B has three salesmen who don't know anything about technical issues, but are good at selling. They call company C, a small organization that can handle the technical issues but is short-staffed. Nevertheless, they have a number of self-employed partners. They call one of them, Bob. For a day's work, the big company A is invoiced
Ieshwar Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 We have Domaholics for the Dom Luka fans, and Danimals for the dkstories fans. What is the correct term for a C James fan? If people are interested in making suggestions, we can start a new thread to collate the ideas. Yes, yes! New thread! New thread! What about "Animal lovers"? Ok, it doesn't seem good. Hmm, "CJamish?" or "CJ fans" ... I'll try to find something meanwhile. Ieshwar
lashrac Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 gotta say i havent posted in a long time, im more of a lurker but i need to say, i like this story so far hmm, will Chase end up with Brandon? or will Jon suddenly find that Brandon's gaydar isnt as wrong as everyone thought? hehe.
C James Posted August 18, 2007 Author Posted August 18, 2007 i'm totally falling in love with this story!!!! i hope chase makes a move soon....hehe and i'm still not completely sure jon is straight...lol anyway, i love it, keep up the great work!!! Thank you!! I'm trying to keep to a chapter-a-week schedule, and I'll keep working at it (I'm a little behind in the writing at the moment). Thank you! BUT this is a fiction, written by an evil author who likes to jeopardize his poor characters. What? Me, Evil? I'm not evil... I only write sweetness and light... Any eeevilness must be added by either You, Emoe, or Shadowgod. loving this story... really hope brenden and chase get together soon.... but ya.... I believe that Gabe will somehow get tied into something much bigger... otherwise, unless the bombs are meant for Instinct, it is kinda hard to see the cast being roped into a atomic bomb plot... Hi Mizu! I can't comment on future happenings directly, but I do want to say that I'm trying for some semblance of realism, nothing too far-fetched. Thanks!!! CJ Hi CJ, I just read the fourth chapter and it's really good. As usual! But I think Brandon is a bit to self-respecting. I mean, he's definitely like a fish out of water! He hasn't seem to accepted his luck or new life. What will happen when he'll be dating Chase? Chase and his brothers are really cool. I have noticed the way they just jump to defend Brandon. So sweet and cool!! I think Helen-Gabe shippers will be quite disappointed after this chapter but do you think this hate can become love? Great Job, CJ! Thanks Ieshwar! Brandon definitely has some issues, and his own pride is amongst them, along with his conscience. He's truly a fish out of water now, and feeling inadequate while caught up in a whirlwind. The brothers are nice guys, but they live in a different world than where Brandon is from, so helping him adapt is a hit-and-miss process for them. This story is definitely following my fantasy of how it should go. Good for you, CJ! Next chapter will have a scene where Chase accompnaies Brandon to his "hotel" to recover his personal belongings. Overwhelmed by all the events so far as well as being with Chase, Brandon completely forgets about the poster of Chase on his wall. Yes, I think you can all see it now. The scene ends with a tonsil massaging kiss. Gabe is just your average every day petty thief asshole. Anyone involved in a nuclear explosion plot would not want Gabe aboard. If he is aboard, it would only mean that he is being used by others for their own ends. I'm really enjoying Helen's character. I can't wait to see the handcuffs being slapped on Gabe. Conner Hi Conner!! Thanks!! I can
bizzymom38 Posted August 18, 2007 Posted August 18, 2007 Thank you!! I'm trying to keep to a chapter-a-week schedule, and I'll keep working at it (I'm a little behind in the writing at the moment). Thank you! What? Me, Evil? I'm not evil... I only write sweetness and light... Any eeevilness must be added by either You, Emoe, or Shadowgod. Hi Mizu! I can't comment on future happenings directly, but I do want to say that I'm trying for some semblance of realism, nothing too far-fetched. Thanks!!! CJ Thanks Ieshwar! Brandon definitely has some issues, and his own pride is amongst them, along with his conscience. He's truly a fish out of water now, and feeling inadequate while caught up in a whirlwind. The brothers are nice guys, but they live in a different world than where Brandon is from, so helping him adapt is a hit-and-miss process for them. Hi Conner!! Thanks!! I can't comment on any of the above (the Echidna will get me if I do) but, well, I can't say anything, so why am I still typing? Very disturbing, for a lurker like me. Disobeying Helen would not be... Pleasant in its aftermath. Thanks Susan! Welcome to GA!!! What? Me, a twisted mind? Brandon is indeed overwhelmed, and you have the others pegged too. They are both very isolated and have luxury, but that makes 'em a little naive, too. Branding iron? ACK!!!!!!!!! And Emoe, if we had the pizza guy as Jerry, that would give us two of 'em. (You shall see) But, oh Echidna, I AM a beginning writer.... Just barely finished by first novel, in fact. :-P And again I get accused of having a twisted mind? Poor, shy, innocent me? Next thing you know, you'll be suggesting the name "Twistees". LoL Hi Lashrac!! Thanks! And I'm pleased to meet a fellow lurker! Or we could be the CJames sick and twistedz........ hehehehehe hugs susan
lashrac Posted August 19, 2007 Posted August 19, 2007 Hi Lashrac!! Thanks! And I'm pleased to meet a fellow lurker! lurker? u have well over 4000 more posts than me and if your 'member since...' is right, then well....wat am i? lol, pretty close to non existent i think neeeeeed moooooore stooooories to reeeeead :wacko: someone bring the children with burning torches to scare the goat back into hiding and write more, maybe it will go from 1 chapter a week to 2? or 3? maybe 7!? i need to find my way back to my cave, i've exceeded my posting quota to qualify as a lurker, they'll take evict me!
C James Posted August 19, 2007 Author Posted August 19, 2007 Or we could be the CJames sick and twistedz........ hehehehehe hugs susan ROFL!! Awww, what a thing to imply about sweet, innocent, shy me.... lurker? u have well over 4000 more posts than me and if your 'member since...' is right, then well....wat am i? lol, pretty close to non existent i think neeeeeed moooooore stooooories to reeeeead :wacko: someone bring the children with burning torches to scare the goat back into hiding and write more, maybe it will go from 1 chapter a week to 2? or 3? maybe 7!? i need to find my way back to my cave, i've exceeded my posting quota to qualify as a lurker, they'll take evict me! Hi Lashrac! There is an ugly rumor going around that I post a lot... I have no idea where it could have started. I darkly suspect that someone, or someones, might be out to tarnish my precious reputation as a shy and quiet lurker. Well, I do have three short stories an the website in addition to the two serials. LoL BTW, I regret to announce that there was an error in LTMP Ch 4: It was a long and somewhat scary half-hour walk to the dive motel where he had a room, and he wished he had enough for a cab, but he knew he didn't, so set off on the all-too-familiar five-mile walk. A friend PM'd me to say that he can't walk that far that fast, it would take over an hour at a fast pace. He's right. I won't name him here becuase he didn't say it was ok to do so, but THANKS for pointing this out. I do try and keep my background info accurate, and this is a glaring goof. In the next paragraph I have Brandon taking an hour and a half to throw on clean clothes, wolf down some bread, and get back to the studio. That would be more likly. I'll fix this problem and send in the revised chapter the next time I upload a new chapter. Oops. BTW, I blame our anonymous beta reader Shadowgod for this. In fairness, i think I added that bit right before posting, after he'd seen the chapter, but i haven't blamed him for much in recent days, so I thought I should blame him for this.
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