Alternative, more senual synonyms?

[Demetz]

Okay, so typical alternative words for "penis" are things like "cock" and "dick" of instead of testicles, a typical alternative is "balls" or "nuts" ... I'm writing a story where that kind of, shall we say, low-brow terminology is not preferred. I've been trying to come up with other terms and so far I have....

 

Penis: arousal; organ

Balls: symbols of manhood

 

.

.

.

 

.... as you can see my list is so far pretty short. Any suggestions for other alternatives that don't look like they come from a sleezy porn?

[Tristan Thinks]

Look at the synomyms at the top of the pages at Urban Dictionary for some ideas. It's also worth looking at the synonyms of the synonyms, too:

 

Penis

Balls

[colinian]

How about:

 

Penis: Member

Balls: Nuts; Rocks Testes (or if only one of them, Testis)

 

Colin

 

(Edited 3/1/08 to use the most obvious choices for Balls.)

[Graeme]

You can always go with symbolism. I remember reading a story that had an oriental flavour, and there was a scene where the hero's Ivory Tower was introduced to a woman's Jade Portal....

[corvus]

You can always go with symbolism. I remember reading a story that had an oriental flavour, and there was a scene where the hero's Ivory Tower was introduced to a woman's Jade Portal....

 

There is, incidentally, an ongoing soap opera series on my college campus called the Ivory Tower. I think it's student produced. I also think it refers to a building and not a body appendage, but I could be wrong...

 

Member, organ, and arousal are good "euphemisms" for penis. It's harder with balls. Can you just avoid mentioning them?

[AFriendlyFace]

Okay, so typical alternative words for "penis" are things like "cock" and "dick" of instead of testicles, a typical alternative is "balls" or "nuts" ... I'm writing a story where that kind of, shall we say, low-brow terminology is not preferred. I've been trying to come up with other terms and so far I have....

 

Penis: arousal; organ

Balls: symbols of manhood

I would urge you to be very careful with this, Demetz! Personally speaking, as a reader, it's a huge pet-peeve of mine when the author attempts to use clever euphemisms for body parts. Far from sounding preferable, in most cases I find it very distracting, and it usually interrupts the flow of the story for me as I sit there and laugh.

 

"Arousal" would probably get in (no pun intended), but "symbols of manhood" would most definitely be a mood-killer for me. A good rule of thumb is not to use anything you really wouldn't say yourself. Would you actually refer to someone's balls as "symbols of their manhood"? (and keep a straight face?) Even in a romantic situation I couldn't imagine one of the people calling or thinking about them as such.

 

I would also avoid "rod of pleasure" or "lumps of potency"

 

You can always go with symbolism. I remember reading a story that had an oriental flavour, and there was a scene where the hero's Ivory Tower was introduced to a woman's Jade Portal....

This is much more preferable to me (although I would be a bit concerned if the lady's portal were jade coloured )

 

Sorry to be a wet blanket here, but I really would advise caution on this matter.

 

-Kevin

Edited March 1, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[BeaStKid]

Instead of saying it out aloud, why not use something like....

 

He took Matt in his mouth....penis

 

or

 

He fondled Matt's family jewels... balls

[Tristan Thinks]

I would urge you to be very careful with this, Demetz! Personally speaking, as a reader, it's a huge pet-peeve of mind when the author attempts to use clever euphemisms for body parts. Far from sounding preferable, in most cases I find it very distracting, and it usually interrupts the flow of the story for me as I sit there and laugh.

I've got to second this - I find myself unable to take a story seriously after I realise the author is trying to find alternate euphemisms almost every time the thing is mentioned. Like Kevin, I fall about laughing at it too, and the whole thing becomes a comedy and I'm trying to predict what the next ridiculous euphemism is going to be

 

To my mind, if you're narrating, the 'narrator' should stick to one style of description depending on how 'direct' the overall style of prose is. The more 'romantic' the writing style the 'wackier' the euphemisms can get, but they shouldn't keep on changing on almost every reference.

 

For first-person writing, the description should be the one the character would use in everyday speech - not one they'd use in talking to their doctor (unless they are talking to their doctor!).

 

It can also be dictated by cultural or national norms. Example: Americans frequently use 'penis' in everyday speech and description, but in the U.K. that makes people cringe since it is seen as a medical term for 'proper' discussions, whereas in everyday speech some slang is used like 'cock' or 'dick'.

[Demetz]

The dilemma I find myself facing is that cock, dick, prick, and penis are all decidedly unromantic to my mind. When I hear someone try to say "cock" seductively it comes off as just... skanky. Dick seems just a level or two above calling it a "pee-pee". Balls and nuts seem to be about on that same level.

Penis and testicles sound too... medical, for me...

 

Nevertheless, the story I'm writing involves fellatio and testicle touching and I'm struggling to find romantic sounding terms. I don't like elaborate metaphors (as I find them downright silly sometimes) and I know 'symbols of manhood' isn't that much better... which is why I'm asking here, to see if any other writers have a few words that are both simple and romantic sounding.

 

Is our culture so unromantic that the only alternatives to crass terms for our sex organs are elaborate-to-the-point-of-comicality metaphors?

 

*scratches head*

 

Jewels, maybe?

 

Here's a paragraph out of the story, they're in a shower by the way, and Nathan has just washed all of David except for his groin.....

 

[Jack Scribe]

Personally speaking, as a reader, it's a huge pet-peeve of mind when the author attempts to use clever euphemisms for body parts. Far from sounding preferable, in most cases I find it very distracting, and it usually interrupts the flow of the story for me as I sit there and laugh.

I agree with Kevin and urge you to go with the "spade is a spade" philosophy. Embrace the basics but play with adjectives that embellish on size, shape, unusual physical characteristics, temperature, moisture, etc.

 

Same with ejaculate: use the common slang and play with descriptives. I see something like "baby batter" (or "sticky meal") and just . And while I'm at it, I suggest you treat orifices in similar fashion.

 

Graeme's exotic example is terrific if it is supported by a compatible writing style throughout the story.

 

Jack

[BeaStKid]

Here's what I have to offer...

 

[Demetz]

Is our culture so unromantic that the only alternatives to crass terms for our sex organs are elaborate-to-the-point-of-comicality metaphors?

 

It seems the general consensus is yes our culture is in fact so unromantic that we have only crass or silly terms to refer to our sex organs. Well, I may not be getting what I was hoping for, but at least I know my knowledge of english vocabulary was not simply defficient. BTW, I already know that euphemisms get ridiculous, that's why I was asking here to see if there was somehow a few synonyms I missed that would work well so you can stop yelling at me now

 

Also... what is wrong with you people? I don't see how ivory tower entering her jade hoohoodilly is any better. I'd fall out of my seat laughing if I saw that.

[Tristan Thinks]

It seems the general consensus is yes our culture is in fact so unromantic that we have only crass or silly terms to refer to our sex organs.

But isn't it the emotions engendered that bring about the 'romantic' aspect, rather than the organ itself? That might be why we don't have romantic terms for the organs, but we can romantically describe the feelings and effects those organs can provoke.

[Ieshwar]

Also... what is wrong with you people? I don't see how ivory tower entering her jade hoohoodilly is any better. I'd fall out of my seat laughing if I saw that.

Me too! It reminds me of the joke where a guys say that his 'Kutub Minar' (Indian tower) is interested in Taj Mahal...or something like that!!!

 

I'm no expert at all in sex scenes. The only time I had to do them I did some funny stuff, whihc, I think can be called imagery. I don't think it can be applied here coz I think there are repeated scenes. Right? Personally, I find BK's version a bit more ok. (please don't be offended) though I would have replaced 'organ' with balls.

 

I have realised that sex scenes are not only 'hard' to read but also to write! :angel:

 

Ieshwar

[corvus]

It seems the general consensus is yes our culture is in fact so unromantic that we have only crass or silly terms to refer to our sex organs. Well, I may not be getting what I was hoping for, but at least I know my knowledge of english vocabulary was not simply defficient. BTW, I already know that euphemisms get ridiculous, that's why I was asking here to see if there was somehow a few synonyms I missed that would work well so you can stop yelling at me now

 

Also... what is wrong with you people? I don't see how ivory tower entering her jade hoohoodilly is any better. I'd fall out of my seat laughing if I saw that.

 

I don't know if it's only American culture. From what I know, there doesn't seem to be a culture that provides a great "romantic" vocabulary. Of course I don't know French.

 

The rhetoric of sex is very interesting. The less specific it is, the more romantic. "Are you coming upstairs?" vs. "Will you come f**k me?" Also, the nature of the verb associate with sex changes with how crass you're being. "I want you to make love to me" vs "I want you to f**k me." Notice the "to" in the former case. I don't know what the terminology is, but the latter version is more direct. It's also a lot cruder.

[steph]

I forget who mentioned it here, but I agree that sometimes not calling attention to them might be more romantic. In the first part of your paragraph, for example...

 

"Scoot forward a little and spread your legs," Nathan told David, who was eager to comply, knowing what was to come. David was sitting so that Nathan could easily reach between his legs, a position which Nathan shortly took advantage of by gently running the cloth along David's the sensitive skin symbols of manhood(?), massaging the sources of his favorite drink and squeezing them just enough to make David squirm a little.

 

Oops... my innate editor got away from me...

 

"Scoot forward a little and spread your legs," Nathan told David, who eagerly complied, knowing what was to come. Nathan could easily reach between David's legs, a position which he soon took advantage of by gently running the cloth along David's sensitive skin, massaging the sources of his favorite drink and squeezing them just enough to make David squirm a little. At the same time, he stroked David's prominent arousal, and the combined effect squeezed out few sticky drops of the juice Nathan loved. He was unable to resist the temptation to have a small snack right then and there, so he kissed the tip, tasting David before continuing, swirling his tongue around the throbbing organ as his lips slid down the long, hard shaft.

Sometimes less is better, no?

Edited March 2, 2008 by steph291

[shadowgod]

Not to get too off topic but...

 

It can also be dictated by cultural or national norms. Example: Americans frequently use 'penis' in everyday speech and description, but in the U.K. that makes people cringe since it is seen as a medical term for 'proper' discussions, whereas in everyday speech some slang is used like 'cock' or 'dick'.

 

I know of no American male that would refer to his dick as a penis in everyday speech.

 

As for the rest, I struggled with this issue for a long time, I even detested the word cock because It just sounds dirty. In the end though, I figured why run from what it is? They items we are referencing are dicks, they are balls. Any attempt to try and steer the reader away from them with some "romantic" only points out our own innate Victorian discomfort with the connotations the words carry.

 

In other words, the words aren't crass, its your perception of them that is.

 

Thats just my two cents though.

 

Steve

[Razor]

This is an area that changes from person to person, since when writing we have two serious things to deal with in selecting our words. Denotation and connotation, darlings. Denotation is (at least for the most part) solid and static. Connotation is what you'll have problems with in erotic reading, which is actually one of the biggest reasons I avoid writing about explicit sex. Sex is so personal and deeply held within each person that attempting to pen a master key of a tale to work for everyone is going to be impossible, and even getting it right for a lot of people is somewhat difficult.

 

I would prefer to leave as much to the imagination as possible. Erotic is not the same as pornographic, and one of the most erotic things that a writer can do is use these types of situations and words very, very sparingly so as to keep the maximum amount of tension going with the least necessary reward; it makes for a much more enjoyable, suspenseful read. At least I think so, anyway.

[Demetz]

Thanks Steph, your edit was very helpful

 

Steve, you may be right to some extent, but I prefer to blame victorianism and pretend I am not nor ever have been influenced by it in the slightest

 

Razor, I agree to some extent... this particular story is basically meant to be a bit... smutty. What I'm hoping will make it a bit more unique is writing it so it looks like someone with more than a 6th grade education is the author and writing it as occurring between two people in love and not just having a random or exploratory sexual encounter.

 

Basically... i got sick of so often seeing porn between people who obviously didn't care about each other and were just in it to get off that I decided to try to write a few more... sensual stories, focusing on sex between loving partners. Granted, this will not exactly solve my problem of few video porns where the "actors" manage to act like they love each other... but it will serve the purpose of scratching an itch of mine if nothing else.

[shadowgod]

Sok Demetz... I blame Victorianisim everyday good luck finding what your looking for

[Hylas]

Victorianism. LOL. Demetz, try reading romance novels. Those Mills & Boons ones.

 

"shaft of his manhood" and stuff. It gets the message across without being too graphic.

 

I have even come across passages which are distinctly erotic but with no mention at all of any erm.. 'vulgar' body part or acts. Sensuous without being lascivious. Tanith Lee's Death's Master was one such book.

[Demetz]

See, my problem is trying to satisfy two things... I want to be as descriptive and explicit as possible.... but between two people who clearly care about/love each other... so... explicit but not... dirty....

 

Its a fine line perhaps but I'm trying to make it work....

[steph]

See, my problem is trying to satisfy two things... I want to be as descriptive and explicit as possible.... but between two people who clearly care about/love each other... so... explicit but not... dirty....

Try reading Ch 1 and Ch 6 of Douglas's Here's Looking at You Kid for inspiration. I thought someone mentioned it here, but I couldn't find it. He does an excellent job at exactly what you're looking for (I think). Although, it doesn't have the same effect unless you read it from the beginning. A lot of it does depend on the emotions evoked by the story.

[Hylas]

Erm... I have my own steamy love scene in Happiness

 

Pretty graphic in fact. IT WAS MY FIRST!! LOL That's the only excuse I have. I used playfulness to portray the emotions involved. I hope it was successful.

[Tiff]

Erm... I have my own steamy love scene in Happiness

 

Pretty graphic in fact. IT WAS MY FIRST!! LOL That's the only excuse I have. I used playfulness to portray the emotions involved. I hope it was successful.

 

Happiness was great! If it wasn't so good, I wouldn't have emailed your sorry @$$! Hey, did I tell you my German friend really liked it, too, and he doesn;t usually go for one-shot stories.

 

And it was graphic. It all comes down to imagination I guess.

 

Like Hylas said, you can be playful with it to convey a deeper relationship. Even if you use words you'd rather not use, it can still come off as loving/in a relationship----don't use words like "shove, force, ram" because that associates something rough and perhaps non-intimate and just sex. Although you can be in a realtionship and get rough, too, but that's another story.

 

Words like : gently, caressed, slowly, carefully, tenderly, lingering gazes----imply more of a relationship, if that's what you're trying to convey. Then you can use the word cock or dick and it wouldn't really take away the loving aspect of the sexual act. Or if you're really against those words, try using: his member, his hardness, his length, width, etc.

 

I use a combination of all the above in my story and it's still obvious all the characters clearly love one another.