Graeme

[C James]

Graeme

[C James]

Review by TL the Writing Tiger

 

The streets of Melbourne make life tough for the teens working its streets. The boys have difficulties to face, struggles that will change them forever. I enjoyed the story immensely. From the beginning, I wanted things to be better for the characters. Through the turbulence and hospital visits, I felt a growing sense of compassion and empathy for them. Will their dreams of better lives reach fruition?

[C James]

Where to begin? This story runs the gammut of emotions and situations; Complex, well-developed characters fighting against circumstance.

 

In many ways, Father Paul is my favorite character. He's at once irreverent, and caring, tough but kind.

 

Craig's journey is incredibly poignant. It's causation is clear; and sadly far from uncommon. His parents threw him out, like yesterdays' trash, upon learning his secret. Utter coldness, beyond contempt. There is a heavy price to be paid, but Craig is the one who pays it.

 

Forced into a life in the shadows, selling himself to make ends meet, he nonetheless suceeds in retaining his humanity, his caring heart.

 

Events, though, conspire against him, driving him over an edge that was far away. He makes a fateful decision, feeling as though he has no options. Fate though, in her fickle way, deals him both a crueler blow, and yet in the end offers him meaning, of a sort; a way to make the life he has mean something, have value, and in so doing restores his own self worth.

 

Bravo, Graeme.

CJ

[Azure Dragon]

Amazing. Simply amazing. I'm happy I didn't know ahead of time that it was based in the 80's and dealt with AIDS, because I might have skipped over this lovely gem. It would have been so easy for you to end the story on a depressing note, yet you chose an uplifting one instead. My favorite character was Mrs. K. Her strength and unwavering kindness was beautiful to see (reminds me of my paternal grandparents), and by telling Father Paul about Craig's plight, she set in motion the events that saved his life. It's so easy to forget that we all have someone looking out for us, and this story puts things in perspective.

[S.L. Lewis]

*glares at her tissue box for daring to be empty* *turns it upside down and shakes it*

Yes, this story at times made me cry in happiness and in sadness. It may be long, but it is so wonderful. I loved the way that it was written and the way the details left plenty to the imagination by just giving enough to help the story.

My favorite part is the part where Craig takes his first steps after the accident and learned about a possible future for himself. It made me smile at the hope that was presented.

Wonderful story, Graeme. Keep writing and inspiring us with your words.

[JamesSavik]

Graeme: you rock bro. Reading your stories is like boxing blindfolded; you never see the punches coming.

[Tiger]

Graeme: you rock bro. Reading your stories is like boxing blindfolded; you never see the punches coming.

 

That's for sure. I don't want to spoil too much for those who have not read it, but there were times that I was like, "Omg, you've got to be kidding!" because the action was just in my face. The two major incedents of the story made me hope that the characters would eventually discover better lives for themselves. It's definitely a good story for those who like to see people learn good lessons for the life experiences. I think the story is a good point of reference for gay teens who struggle with their sexuality and reminds them that it could be worse. Then again, there might be a negative impact on those who want to come out to their parents. All I can say is that the ones in this story are worst-case scenarios. Most people do not have that negative of a reaction. And if they do, I don't think all will turn out quite like it did in the story. Anyway, I really need to go over to AD and read some more of Graeme's stories when i get a chance.

[GaryK]

Sucker punched by Graeme.

I was cursing you through most of this story. I guess that means you did a good job. Thanks for a difficult but compelling read!

[Tracy]

Graeme - In my opinion, another masterpiece!

 

It's a reminder that even though we might be caught in a hopeless situation, there will always be something or somebody that will evoke a light at the end of the tunnel. Which is why my favorite character in the story is Mrs. Kowalski. She was the candle in Craig's life - the fragile but gripping source of luminosity that enlightens the way through a complex and difficult journey.

 

Awesomeness.

 

tracy

[old bob]

Hey Graeme,

You have a gift : shorten in a short story what could be a Serial Novel. Your text is dense, each word is where it should be. The "chapters" are "flashes" which bring the right exposition and the end is always a cliffhanger, a special one which helps me to well imagine the non written sequel. Your calm, almost "surgical" way to describe characters and situation is amazing .

BTW, I'm always astonished the place run away homeless gay children, obliged to prostitute themselves, take in a lot stories, non only in GA, but also in other sites like "AwesomeDude". It seems a very common situation in the States.

In Europe, I know there are a lot of them "in real" in big cities like Paris of Berlin. But here, in Switzerland, we have in our "hot" districts many "professional" female prostitutes and a very few males, almost adult people who chose this "job", and a very low percentage of homeless children. It seems that living in my country is more peaceful, as public and private organizations do a lot to bring young people on a right path. If youngsters (boys and girls) come out to their parents, they normally find enough understanding to remain home and not be obliged to run away, because there is much less pressure from religious circles.

How is it in Australian cities ?

[corvus]

Talk about the hooker with a heart of gold...

 

What I like particularly about this story, and a lot of things by Graeme that I've read, is his ability to introduce characters that feel complete and fully-realized from the get go. This story has a cast that belies its length, and, although I wouldn't say that each character is completely fleshed out, all of them have defining characteristics that make them feel alive.

 

I'm glad that, although the story has many depressing and unresolved elements -- AIDS, Craig's parents, his roommates, etc. -- it ends on an ultimately positive note. It's, IMO, the highest form of storytelling: true to life without being depressing.

[Tiff]

I always enjoy stories like these: depressing situations, seemingly hopeless, but with the right people helping, there is a chance to be happy, under whatever circumstances life has thrown your way.

 

Craig is a lovable character and Father Paul is very entertaining and seems like a rather funny guy to banter with. I definitely enjoyed their exchanges and their affectionate nicknames- "son"/ "old man." The phone call he made to his father was quite a blow; how a parent could be that cruel is beyond me, but he found his own family, in a way, with Mrs. K and Father Paul. A network he can rely on.

 

I did hate Andy's (correct name?) mother--he did her son a favor, calling them, and she yells at him and outs him. I just want to do strangle her!

 

He has obstacles to overcome and I'm sure there will be days when he is feeling down, but the fact that in the end he is helping others in something he truly understands, well, he's using his negative experience for something positive. What other way to beat the negative shit out of your life and not let it consume you than using it against itself? He is well on his way to rebuilding his life; perhaps he will gain more friends in people like Eric with their common bond. Again, a hopeful and promising ending for the future. A wonderful end to a well-written story.

[Graeme]

Thanks, everyone

 

Just for your information, a number of points in the story are based on real situations. There are areas in St. Kilda where street prostitution takes place -- including male prostitution. Street prostitution is illegal in Melbourne, but the council for the St. Kilda area realises the fact that prostitution takes place and a few years ago tried to control it by nominating particular streets for the women, and separate streets for the guys. The proposal was shot down after a public outcry, but it's why I know that this sort of thing occurs.

 

I also remember a newspaper article from maybe ten years ago about how some of the locals would help out the male prostitutes in St. Kilda in little ways, such as provide drinks and snacks. This was my inspiration for Mrs. Kowalski.

 

I don't know what motivates people to take up street prostitution. While I had Craig's story plotted out four years ago (as it appears in chapter eight of my novel New Brother), when I went into the detail I realised I had to provide reasons, at least for some. I personally can't believe that many of them are homeless, but my imagination isn't good enough to come up with many reasons why someone would become a street prostitute.

 

Thanks again, everyone. I've really enjoyed reading your comments and I want to thank you all for taking the time to say something about this story. It's a story that's been at the back of my mind for many years and it feels good to finally have it out in public.

 

Graeme

[Azure Dragon]

I don't know what motivates people to take up street prostitution. While I had Craig's story plotted out four years ago (as it appears in chapter eight of my novel New Brother), when I went into the detail I realised I had to provide reasons, at least for some. I personally can't believe that many of them are homeless, but my imagination isn't good enough to come up with many reasons why someone would become a street prostitute.

 

It's fine, you did great. Craig's reasons were more realistic than you realize. I've known a few people who became sex workers to support themselves--due to homelessness (including gay teens), because they're single mothers, or because they can't find other work at the moment but know they have decent looks and it's either that or starve (often the case with transsexuals). Or they might simply like it; they've got a stable escorting gig and regular clients who pay good money. Sure there's the chance that you could be arrested, raped, infected, or murdered, but that's the risk of hustling and street life.

[wildone]

Graeme,

 

Absolutely loved this story.

 

Once I stated reading it, it tweaked a memory that I have read something along these lines before, but wasn't sure where.

 

As it continued, I started to remember reading New Brother a while back.

 

After reading the story, I had to go back and re read chapter eight of New Brother. I hate to admit it, I was very misty eyed after reading the chapter. It was like you took a one, two punch at my emotions in a short period of time.

 

I think by writing this story, you definitely added to one of the most powerful chapters of New Brother, but even without the novel, it easily stands on it's own. To know Craig's story fully is great.

 

I know there is many Father Pauls and Mrs. K's out there, but not nearly enough. Knowing that a few people may have the opportunity to find their way out of this lifestyle though people like them, gives me a warm feeling.

 

Great job Graeme.

 

Steve

[jfalkon]

This is my favorite story so far. (I've read about 1/2 of them now.) I don't know much about street people but this story felt real. It covered so many depressing subjects yet in a strange way it was uplifting. If there is hope for that guy there is hope for anyone. I especialy liked the way he decided to step infront of the bus. I could see it so clearly in my mind I actulay looked away for a second as if it were a movie.

[Drewbie]

Wow, Been slacked jawed throughout some of the story. Seems realistic.

 

Nice to see there's a light with some kindness even when there seems there's only darkness.

 

I wanted to Slap andy's mom too, Andy wouldn't of been in that situation if they didn't kick him out in the first place.

Edited April 7, 2008 by Drewbie

[Graeme]

Thank you!

 

Andy's mum is flawed, but that's human. Think about how quick she was to get moving to be with her boy as soon as she had word. I think it's clear she and her husband regretted what they did when Andy came out to them, but they still have a way to go in realising the impact that that had really had. Given time, they may forgive Craig, but Andy will have to play a part in that if it is to happen -- if he lets it slide, the whole situation will be pushed into the background and nothing will change. If Andy tells his parents they're wrong, I think they'll eventually realise that, too.

 

As for the bus scene -- that took me a number of rewrites to get it just right. It was critical scene and I didn't want it to come over as glib.

[C James]

That bus scene shook me up too. So sudden, shocking, yet almost.. expected? At least possible. Especially well done.

[Myk]

Sorry it took me so long to post my comment....I think I read the story almost 3 weeks ago now.

 

Wow, this story was extremely well put together. I get the sense that your characters have a long history that you have made for them just by how they seem to act. Everything they do seems to fit so naturally with their untold life story.

 

Also I love how despite the amazing sadness and tradgedy in this story that you manage to leave two bright lights in the end. For one he got his loving family back and off the streets. And the other at least a fairly good life, one where he can use his experience to help others in similar situations. What he has gone through is very truely painful, yet in the end he can still put a smirk on his face and reach out to help others.

 

An amazing story!!

 

Greg

[Graeme]

Thanks, Greg!

 

As I said in my comments at the end, this is a story that I've had in the back of my mind for years. That's one of the reason I think it's richer than some of my other short stories. A lot of the details didn't come out until recently, when I finally got around to finishing the story, but I've been living with the characters for a long time

[AFriendlyFace]

Well done, Graeme! I loved it!

 

New Brother is one of my favourite stories, but as is the case with almost all books or movies, over time I've forgotten many of the details, including how Craig fit into it. I shall have to go back and have a look.

 

Great job!

Kevin

[Drewbie]

Thank you!

 

Andy's mum is flawed, but that's human. Think about how quick she was to get moving to be with her boy as soon as she had word. I think it's clear she and her husband regretted what they did when Andy came out to them, but they still have a way to go in realising the impact that that had really had. Given time, they may forgive Craig, but Andy will have to play a part in that if it is to happen -- if he lets it slide, the whole situation will be pushed into the background and nothing will change. If Andy tells his parents they're wrong, I think they'll eventually realise that, too.

 

As for the bus scene -- that took me a number of rewrites to get it just right. It was critical scene and I didn't want it to come over as glib.

 

 

Andy will maybe never want to talk about any of it. few other observations from others, not always is a light at the end for some of a bad situation.

[Meeko]

Hey Graeme

 

Sorry for the very very late response, but frankly I didn't get to your story until just today.

 

Anyway Craig goes though something A lot of kids go though. I really wasn't surprised by anything that happened, and honestly that scares me. You wrote a story that teaches all of us things we didn't know, or if we did know you helped to enhance our knowledge on the situation.

 

I only have one question for you. Mid way though the story Ms. Baton stormed back into the hospital after hearing whatever her son told her about what he really did for work. But what exactly did he tell her? From the way she put it, Craig forced him to do all those things, when clearly we all know the truth, he did it because he had no other choice and really it was his parent's fault and not Craig

[Graeme]

Hey Graeme

 

Sorry for the very very late response, but frankly I didn't get to your story until just today.

 

Anyway Craig goes though something A lot of kids go though. I really wasn't surprised by anything that happened, and honestly that scares me. You wrote a story that teaches all of us things we didn't know, or if we did know you helped to enhance our knowledge on the situation.

Thanks Yes, it is scary because, unfortunately, these things do happen This story focuses on male prostitution, but there is just as big a problem with female prostitution. Numbers-wise, it's much bigger, though because it's more visible, there is hopefully more scrutiny.

 

I only have one question for you. Mid way though the story Ms. Baton stormed back into the hospital after hearing whatever her son told her about what he really did for work. But what exactly did he tell her? From the way she put it, Craig forced him to do all those things, when clearly we all know the truth, he did it because he had no other choice and really it was his parent's fault and not Craig