What do you like about being gay?

[corvus]

We all know that being gay = hiding, lying, persecution, angst, AIDS, etc. etc.... What's one thing that you actually *like* about being gay? (Apart from the hot man- . If applicable.)

 

I'll answer after someone else answers. Dang, can't think of anything right now, being gay is just too depressing.... jk.

 

PS As usual, I looked through previous threads, and I don't think this is a repeat. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

[GaryK]

One thing I like is being slightly unique when compared to the rest of the population. If you go by the statistics only 10% of the population is like me when it comes to being gay.

[Tiger]

I feel the same way Gary does about being unique. I also like being more cultured than the average guy. Most straight guys my age have never heard of Frederick Chopin.

[Menzoberranzen]

I feel the same way Gary does about being unique. I also like being more cultured than the average guy. Most straight guys my age have never heard of Frederick Chopin.

 

All the more reason to hate people in general. It works well for me.

 

I like just about everything that comes with being gay. In fact, I can't think of a single thing I don't like. Even the prejudice just reaffirms my misanthropic tendancies.

 

Menzo

[corvus]

All the more reason to hate people in general. It works well for me.

 

I like just about everything that comes with being gay. In fact, I can't think of a single thing I don't like. Even the prejudice just reaffirms my misanthropic tendancies.

 

Menzo

 

You're the most reliable person ever. Haha.

 

Anyway, I think the outside-ness is what I like about being gay. I mean, there's a downside to that as well, i.e. being an outsider; but I am more aware of the movement and behavior of the rest of the herd, and can judge it more objectively.

 

*shrug*

[myself_i_must_remake]

i agree with that last statement. people ask me for advice all the time and tell me i'm really objective, and i think it comes from being kind of forced to ourselves from perspectives other than our own.

 

it feels good to fall in between the genders, or maybe a better term would be outside of gender. if we don't want to be macho, that's fine. if we don't want to act like girls, hey, even better.

 

having an accepting environment is key to this, however.

 

but i am happy to say that if there were a straight pill, i wouldn't take it.

[NaperVic]

I like that I'm in better shape and dress better than your average 39yo hetero guy

 

I like that there's no pressure to have kids and that most of my income is spent on me ( ) and that it's not being sucked away feeding/housing/caring for offspring.

 

When I was in a relationship, it was fun basically doubling your wardrobe because you got to share your same sex partner's clothing.

 

These are just a few of my favourite things (about being gay).

 

Take Care®,

 

Vic

[Graeme]

I would have to say the increased ability to care. As a member of a minority, I think I am more aware of minority issues, which, for me, translates into an increased feeling of compassion. I know that's not everyone -- I know of a few guys who have been through the wringer and compassion is typically the last thing in their mind -- but that's me.

[AFriendlyFace]

Well I pretty much agree with everything said by all the previous posters.

 

 

Billy, Vic, and Graeme took my best answers (gender and race/minority issues...and fashion!), but I'll throw one more onto the list:

 

In contrast to Corvus' point about being an 'outsider' (which also has it perks) gay people simultaneously also have a built in sense of 'community'. People can easily 'bond' over the gay issue and there's all sorts of 'gay places' and 'gay resources'. This is of course mostly assuming that you have access to a major city in an at least somewhat accepting/tolerant society, but even where that doesn't exist sites and communities like GA can further fill that void

 

It's like a friend of mine said once, "I wouldn't be worried [socially/about loneliness issues] about moving to any major city without knowing anyone. All I'd have to do is become active in the local gay scene or community."

 

 

In tandem with that I'd also point out that we have a unique and rich history and culture.

 

 

-Kevin

Edited May 28, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[JamesSavik]

gay people simultaneously also have a built in sense of 'community'. People can easily 'bond' over the gay issue and there's all sorts of 'gay places' and 'gay resources'.

 

Kevin-

 

That's just so much bull. Gays are the catty-est, most clan-ish and shallowest people on the planet. If you don't look and dress just right, the guys in the bar won't talk to you. If you're a little too old, you are automatically a troll. The quality of your character is irrelevent unless you are hot and under 25.

 

That unity of the oppressed thing is a big, smelly crap-burger.

 

There are a lot of gay people out there that I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire. I don't want to even be remotely associated with them not because of my internalized homophobia but because they are assholes.

[Andy2008]

I feel the same way Gary does about being unique. I also like being more cultured than the average guy. Most straight guys my age have never heard of Frederick Chopin.

 

Absolutely right !!!

 

We more clutured than normal guys , we aslo feel the river of life deeper than average life ...Freedom , Sensitize that we have , we stronger like the man but something we so weak like the woman ( but not use to ...) , And one more plus , all gay guy alway ah some talent about art like wriiten , draw , creative ,, fashion or something like that ...

 

The thing i like as i was gay is : the way i feel about LIFE meaningfull than other ...

[old bob]

these days, the forums are really full of funny questions. Before I answer, I dare to draw a parallel with another tribe : the Jewish people (pl dont take it seriously, I'm teasing !). We are the electeted people, selecteted to bring peace in the world though the Messias, we have more duties as others goyim, we are all priesters and nearer to God as others. Most of us are born Jews, we never chose to be and have to endure the burden to be apart the common people.

And think of it, some of us are even doubly "selected" and apart . we are Jew and gay .

Unfortunately, these two caracteristics have the same particularity : you can't deny it or wash it away like a dark stain. So the only thing which remains : to be proud about it .

And now my answer :

I like what I'm, I'm tall (a little less now), with braun hair (much white now), with brown-green eyes, I'm bipolar (sometimes), I have a big mouth (I always say what I'm thinking, it cost me a lot !) and I'm a bi-jew and proud to be what I'm.

BTW bi-jew, as it is expressed in English, has the same sound as Bijou in French, which means "Jewel", exactly what I'm

Anything against it ?

Old bob

[S.L. Lewis]

Personally, bi, but hey, nearly the same thing. I can talk with either side easily. Anyways, I like being bi because I can be me. It's who I am and what I do. I like being able to go out to a gay bar, drool over the hotties there, then go to a straight bar and do the same there. It's fun and it opens a lot of doors that were closed while I was straight.

[NaperVic]

gay people simultaneously also have a built in sense of 'community'. People can easily 'bond' over the gay issue and there's all sorts of 'gay places' and 'gay resources'.

 

That's just so much bull. Gays are the catty-est, most clan-ish and shallowest people on the planet. If you don't look and dress just right, the guys in the bar won't talk to you. If you're a little too old, you are automatically a troll. The quality of your character is irrelevent unless you are hot and under 25.

 

There's some truth to what you've both said. I think the difference is location. For bar/pick up joint places, James description is accurate. For non-pick up joints, my experience is similiar to what Kevin describes.

 

The gay/lesbian network on the campus I work at is extremely diverse (age, size, dress, personality, etc) and is very strong. My closest gay friends are 20-25 years older than I and would probably we hanging out with my folks if they were straight .

 

 

There are a lot of gay people out there that I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.

The two guys I hate the most are gay. I honestly don't know if I'd be able to resist steering into them while driving if I saw them on the side of the road.

[GaryK]

I'll dare to risk a summarization of the major point so far.

 

We're unique but we're also still burdened with the same flaws and failings everyone else is. I guess that makes us humans just like everyone else. So, are we really that unique?

[viv]

So, I'm not gay, or even bi, but this is a discussion forum so what the hell, right?

 

(AFriendlyFace @ May 27 2008, 10:19 PM)

gay people simultaneously also have a built in sense of 'community'. People can easily 'bond' over the gay issue and there's all sorts of 'gay places' and 'gay resources'.

 

I'd like to point out that ANY group of people who have similar issues or features or prejudices will bond and find a common ground and understanding about how they feel. Maybe you're far beyond average intelligence, maybe you have a HUGE... body part of some sort or another, maybe you only have one arm, maybe your ethnicity is in the minority where you live, maybe you're a woman that works with all men and trying to get beyond the stigma of being a coffee maker. If you put ANY group of people together like that who are experiencing the same thing, good or bad, they will find common ground and 'bond' and perhaps find a sense of 'community'.

 

(jamessavik @ May 27 2008, 10:36 PM)

That's just so much bull. Gays are the catty-est, most clan-ish and shallowest people on the planet. If you don't look and dress just right, the guys in the bar won't talk to you. If you're a little too old, you are automatically a troll. The quality of your character is irrelevent unless you are hot and under 25.

 

That said, it's not just 'gays' in bars that are shallow and assholes. It's all types of crappy people who feel the need to push someone else down while pushing themselves up. When you care more about what other people think about you and fitting in with everyone, or worse, climbing to the top of that popularity chain, than you do about what YOU think of you... that's when you end up with shallow assholes... or, you know, naive, ignorant co-habitants of this planet that I can't make any excuse for. It's NEVER okay to hurt someone else to feel better about yourself, and in fact, it's almost never okay to hurt someone else AT ALL. It's the uniqueness in us all that makes us special and people tend to throw that away to fit in and be accepted instead of embracing it and being themselves regardless of what other people will think.

 

 

Now then, I know I'm not gay, but I can tell you what I like most about having gay friends

 

We can talk about boys

We can look at boys together

When they say, "Let's go shopping!" I can say yes because we won't be shopping in a woman's clothing store and I HATE shopping for myself!

I can snuggle them and Rich doesn't get wiggly about it

We can make ridiculously obvious euphamisms and laugh about them

We can use those ridiculous euphamisms to embarass Rich and make him wiggly in a different kind of way

Mostly though, I love that I'm 'safe' to talk to cause I'm not a guy.

 

Yeah so, I guess my list doesn't leave room for gay woman, does it? Well I have a few female gay friends, too. What do I love about them?

 

They're strong people who do for themselves and I like that.

It's odd, but at least from men who think being gay is wrong, these girls slip under that radar because most men think it's hot so it can't be wrong, and I love that someday that thought will challenge the fundamental thought that being gay is wrong.

 

Hugs,

Viv

[JamesSavik]

I think the difference is location. For bar/pick up joint places, James description is accurate. For non-pick up joints, my experience is similiar to what Kevin describes.

 

In my area, the only venue available is the bar/pick up places. Mississippi culture doesn't exactly foster openness about being gay. In most towns, the city (mayor, city council) gives the cops a hunting license and its open season on any business that cater to gay patrons. Those businesses are harassed out of town.

 

I don't have a clue where all these nice people you guys keep talking about hang out. Probably why I frequent GA is that I'm trying to figure that out.

[BeaStKid]

I don't know, try as much as I may, I couldn't come up with an answer to this question. Don't get me wrong, I am not a pessimist...far from it...I tend to see positive in every situation, but it may be because I do not find anything wrong with the situation I am in. Fine, I do wonder what it would have been to be straight and be able to talk to my friends like other straight guys do, but I am still happy with the way I am.

 

It is like asking a straight guy what does he like in being straight. I am sure he would also not be able to give an answer, and will just shrug his shoulder off. Personally,

 

Okay, while writing this one thing did come to my mind and it would sound clich

[corvus]

these days, the forums are really full of funny questions.

 

I'm glad you're entertained, old bob.

 

Before I answer, I dare to draw a parallel with another tribe : the Jewish people (pl dont take it seriously, I'm teasing !). We are the electeted people, selecteted to bring peace in the world though the Messias, we have more duties as others goyim, we are all priesters and nearer to God as others. Most of us are born Jews, we never chose to be and have to endure the burden to be apart the common people.

And think of it, some of us are even doubly "selected" and apart . we are Jew and gay .

Unfortunately, these two caracteristics have the same particularity : you can't deny it or wash it away like a dark stain. So the only thing which remains : to be proud about it .

 

lol, actually this comparison isn't so surprising. In the eastern US at least, I think there's a very interesting relationship between Jews and gays. It reminds me of a quote from the novel At Swim, Two Boys, which centers on Irish-homosexual identity. One of the characters is asked: "Are you bent?" to which he replies, "If you mean I'm Irish, then I am."

 

I don't have a clue where all these nice people you guys keep talking about hang out. Probably why I frequent GA is that I'm trying to figure that out.

 

I think they left Mississippi.

[AFriendlyFace]

BTW bi-jew, as it is expressed in English, has the same sound as Bijou in French, which means "Jewel", exactly what I'm

 

Personally, bi, but hey, nearly the same thing. I can talk with either side easily. Anyways, I like being bi because I can be me. It's who I am and what I do. I like being able to go out to a gay bar, drool over the hotties there, then go to a straight bar and do the same there. It's fun and it opens a lot of doors that were closed while I was straight.

That does sound nice.

 

There's some truth to what you've both said. I think the difference is location. For bar/pick up joint places, James description is accurate. For non-pick up joints, my experience is similiar to what Kevin describes.

 

The gay/lesbian network on the campus I work at is extremely diverse (age, size, dress, personality, etc) and is very strong. My closest gay friends are 20-25 years older than I and would probably we hanging out with my folks if they were straight .

Good points, Vic! Thanks for bridging the extremes, lol

 

So, I'm not gay, or even bi, but this is a discussion forum so what the hell, right?

 

 

 

I'd like to point out that ANY group of people who have similar issues or features or prejudices will bond and find a common ground and understanding about how they feel. Maybe you're far beyond average intelligence, maybe you have a HUGE... body part of some sort or another, maybe you only have one arm, maybe your ethnicity is in the minority where you live, maybe you're a woman that works with all men and trying to get beyond the stigma of being a coffee maker. If you put ANY group of people together like that who are experiencing the same thing, good or bad, they will find common ground and 'bond' and perhaps find a sense of 'community'.

 

 

 

That said, it's not just 'gays' in bars that are shallow and assholes. It's all types of crappy people who feel the need to push someone else down while pushing themselves up. When you care more about what other people think about you and fitting in with everyone, or worse, climbing to the top of that popularity chain, than you do about what YOU think of you... that's when you end up with shallow assholes... or, you know, naive, ignorant co-habitants of this planet that I can't make any excuse for. It's NEVER okay to hurt someone else to feel better about yourself, and in fact, it's almost never okay to hurt someone else AT ALL. It's the uniqueness in us all that makes us special and people tend to throw that away to fit in and be accepted instead of embracing it and being themselves regardless of what other people will think.

 

 

Now then, I know I'm not gay, but I can tell you what I like most about having gay friends

 

We can talk about boys

We can look at boys together

When they say, "Let's go shopping!" I can say yes because we won't be shopping in a woman's clothing store and I HATE shopping for myself!

I can snuggle them and Rich doesn't get wiggly about it

We can make ridiculously obvious euphamisms and laugh about them

We can use those ridiculous euphamisms to embarass Rich and make him wiggly in a different kind of way

Mostly though, I love that I'm 'safe' to talk to cause I'm not a guy.

 

Yeah so, I guess my list doesn't leave room for gay woman, does it? Well I have a few female gay friends, too. What do I love about them?

 

They're strong people who do for themselves and I like that.

It's odd, but at least from men who think being gay is wrong, these girls slip under that radar because most men think it's hot so it can't be wrong, and I love that someday that thought will challenge the fundamental thought that being gay is wrong.

 

Hugs,

Viv

 

 

Well said, Viv!

[Ieshwar]

Wow, we had some awesome answers till now! I agree with them.

 

I agree with Viv that the sense of community exists within all minority groups. It\'s also present in the gay community.

 

I like the fact that I won\'t have to settle down and have loads of kids. *shudders* This is definitely not the life I would like to!

 

Talking about guys is cool too. *giggles*

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

[clumber]

Ummm...I couldn't really say what I like most about being gay. There isn't anything, really. Its just...a thing. It'd be like asking me what I think the best thing is about being a fan of Rush... meh, there isn't one. Its just something that I am. *Shrugs*

 

 

I can't say I get what you're getting at with a lot of the things in this thread...

 

The whole "fashion sense" thing doesn't seem to be something I picked up on... To be honest, thats just one of the usual things people say about gay people, and I'm not sure if in some cases its the same as being closeted but in reverse. Out of one problem (closeted gay) and into another (forced into caring about 'fashion'). Thats the way I see it, anyway. Probably because, like I said, it doesn't seem to be something I picked up on. I wear clothes I think are decent, and thats that. I don't spend ages every mornign worrying about "oh, is this shirt a month out of date" or other such shit.

 

The thing about "talking about guys" is meaningless, since if you were straight you'd talk about women and not know any different, so I don't see what people are trying to get at there.

 

An "instant sense of community"...meh, you can find an "instant sense of community" anyway, it just so happens you won't bother finding a gay one. There's always some 'interest/characteristic/whatever word you want' that you can use to chat with groups of people with the same.

 

"Outside gender"...meh, straight people can get away with it as well, if there in the right location. So pretty much same situation there. Both sexualities have what is expected of them, we have managed to start breaking out of our expectations (we don't have to be effeminate, see fashion thing above) and in some cases straight people are breaking out of their masculine boundaries. How much it happens just depends on whether or not you want it to.

 

 

So, best thing about being gay...there isn't one. Just same as there's no best thing about being straight, really. Its just...a thing. Meh.

 

Martin :a:

[NaperVic]

The whole "fashion sense" thing doesn't seem to be something I picked up on... I wear clothes I think are decent, and thats that. I don't spend ages every mornign worrying about "oh, is this shirt a month out of date" or other such shit.

 

You just don't realize how much fashion sense you have. It's a gift really, you're a natural.

[scoopny]

I think I can say this simply. There are friends who mean the world to me I have that I never would have met had we not been gay, nor would we have grown as close. It's not just one person, but a whole community of people, that have made my life more meaningful, made me more adventurous, helped me see the world differently, given me comfort, made me laugh. It's all quite accidental how it all happened and these friends aren't necessarily people I've slept with (although a few I have, admittedly), but they have all shown me something I didn't know before and well maybe hopefully I've done the same for them.

[Drewbie]

For me, there's a sense of community, ones I can talk to, certain gay people we can talk about anything that most straights would never talk about.

 

Also a view of the world or that gives a different perspective.