GaryK Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 If my Outlook calendar is correct, and it usually is, Benji is now celebrating 25th years of marriage to his wife. He's rarely online during weekends so hopefully he'll see this when he gets back to work on Monday. Don't worry there will be a link to this thread from the Our Place thread so I know he'll see it. I hope this is a happy day for you and your family!
Tiger Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Congratulations Ben. May you and the wife have many more.
Bandage Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Congratulations indeed! I hope many happy years are to follow!
Rakuten06 Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 Congrats Benji! Hope to be more years of happiness in the future!! Raku
AFriendlyFace Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 WOO HOOO!! Quite a special day indeed! Congrats, Benji! -Kevin
old bob Posted June 21, 2008 Posted June 21, 2008 CONGRATS TO BOTH BTW did you keep somewhere the broken glass from 25 years ago ? Old bob
Site Administrator Graeme Posted June 22, 2008 Site Administrator Posted June 22, 2008 Congratulations, Benji
GaryK Posted June 22, 2008 Author Posted June 22, 2008 CONGRATS TO BOTH BTW did you keep somewhere the broken glass from 25 years ago ? Old bob I heard he was too poor back then and had to settle for a plastic champagne flute.
old bob Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I heard he was too poor back then and had to settle for a plastic champagne flute. I suppose a lot of our guests and readers dont understand the joke. Do you think we should explain ? Old Bob
Benji Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 I suppose a lot of our guests and readers dont understand the joke. Do you think we should explain ?Old Bob ............Thanks everyone, HaHa, Gary yes I still the wrapped glass in a box. The groom breaks a champaign glass after they both sip from it, thus no-one else can drink from it. Old Bob please feel free to add, perhaps you have a different "tradition" on this from your country.
old bob Posted June 23, 2008 Posted June 23, 2008 ............Thanks everyone, HaHa, Gary yes I still the wrapped glass in a box. The groom breaks a champaign glass after they both sip from it, thus no-one else can drink from it. Old Bob please feel free to add, perhaps you have a different "tradition" on this from your country. Well it's not so easy to be short in my explanations ! In jewish mariage, the ceremony reaches its climax with both the bride and bride groom drinking wine. The groom then steps on a glass to break it. The origin of this custom is shrouded in mystery, and various understandings of this custom exist. Following text comes from a site called "Jewish Wedding Ceremony Explained" : Breaking of the Glass "If I forget you, O Jerusalem let my right hand forget its cunning" - Psalms 137:5 "A glass is placed before the Chatan, which he shatters by stepping upon it. This act serves as an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and identifies with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people. A Jew even at the moment of his or her own greatest possible personal and religious rejoicing, is always mindful of the Psalmist's injunction to 'set Jerusalem above my chiefest joy.' It also serves as a reminder that even when celebrating with great merriment and joy this must be conducted within that which Jewish law deems appropriate and respectable. Breaking of the glass marks the conclusion of the ceremony. " Sometimes, the fact that you dont want the glass been shattered is a way to express, in spite to accepting your "Jewness" you don't agree with the strict orthodox rules (I didnt, but forgot where I lost the glass ) . Old bob
AFriendlyFace Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 (edited) Well it's not so easy to be short in my explanations !In jewish mariage, the ceremony reaches its climax with both the bride and bride groom drinking wine. The groom then steps on a glass to break it. The origin of this custom is shrouded in mystery, and various understandings of this custom exist. Following text comes from a site called "Jewish Wedding Ceremony Explained" : Breaking of the Glass "If I forget you, O Jerusalem let my right hand forget its cunning" - Psalms 137:5 "A glass is placed before the Chatan, which he shatters by stepping upon it. This act serves as an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and identifies with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people. A Jew even at the moment of his or her own greatest possible personal and religious rejoicing, is always mindful of the Psalmist's injunction to 'set Jerusalem above my chiefest joy.' It also serves as a reminder that even when celebrating with great merriment and joy this must be conducted within that which Jewish law deems appropriate and respectable. Breaking of the glass marks the conclusion of the ceremony. " Sometimes, the fact that you dont want the glass been shattered is a way to express, in spite to accepting your "Jewness" you don't agree with the strict orthodox rules (I didnt, but forgot where I lost the glass ) . Old bob The groom breaks a champaign glass after they both sip from it, thus no-one else can drink from it. An interesting and rich tradition! But what if there are two grooms? Or even no grooms at all? I realize of course that this ritual wasn't created with gay marriage in mind, but I'm not being completely facetious though, I think figuring out a way to incorporate old traditions into new ceremonies is an important thing for gay people to consider. For example I think my solution to the whole groom carrying the bride over the threshold thing will be for one of us to carry the other over as we enter our honeymoon suite for the first time, and then other to carry the first over as we leave to embark on our new life together. I would similarly try to come up with a new twist on other old practices. Just my queries, -Kevin Edited June 24, 2008 by AFriendlyFace
Benji Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 An interesting and rich tradition! But what if there are two grooms? Or even no grooms at all? I realize of course that this ritual wasn't created with gay marriage in mind, but I'm not being completely facetious though, I think figuring out a way to incorporate old traditions into new ceremonies is an important thing for gay people to consider. For example I think my solution to the whole groom carrying the bride over the threshold thing will be for one of us to carry the other over as we enter our honeymoon suite for the first time, and then other to carry the first over as we leave to embark on our new life together. I would similarly try to come up with a new twist on other old practices. Just my queries, -Kevin ......May I suggest that both grooms step on the glass....still signifying that no-one else may drink from the glass, that brings them together.
old bob Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 ......May I suggest that both grooms step on the glass....still signifying that no-one else may drink from the glass, that brings them together. Hahaha ! I realize of course that this ritual wasn't created with gay marriage in mind, but I'm not being completely facetious though, I think figuring out a way to incorporate old traditions into new ceremonies is an important thing for gay people to consider. It could be a new topic : "best ideas to organize gay weddings". Kevin, you could be a master in this matter , and I'm not joking ! You have a choice, weddings with or without a pastor (or any other priest of any other religion), civil weddings (for the States wher gay mariages are legal), inside or outside (a wedding open by night, under the stars, what a nice picture and a memory for ever !) think of it . Old Bob
GaryK Posted June 24, 2008 Author Posted June 24, 2008 For example I think my solution to the whole groom carrying the bride over the threshold thing will be for one of us to carry the other over as we enter our honeymoon suite for the first time, and then other to carry the first over as we leave to embark on our new life together. I would similarly try to come up with a new twist on other old practices. The Best Man should have to carry them both over the threshold.
Phantom Posted June 24, 2008 Posted June 24, 2008 Happy *Belated* Anniversary and I wish plenty more for you!
AFriendlyFace Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 ......May I suggest that both grooms step on the glass....still signifying that no-one else may drink from the glass, that brings them together. That does sound like a good suggestion! It could be a new topic : "best ideas to organize gay weddings".Kevin, you could be a master in this matter , and I'm not joking ! Thanks Old Bob I think I'll thoroughly enjoy planning my own wedding. I've helped plan a lesbian wedding before, but I was mostly in the role of supportive best friend, so while I was involved I mostly just agreed with and supported the brides! I'd really prefer the more active role of planning my own. I think that when it comes to weddings there's no wrong way to do it as long as it makes the couple happy! So, if someday my son or daughter wants to get married on the side of sand dune or something else I might not personally appreciate it, I shall do my best to smile and be supportive and remember that as long as he/she and his/her partner is happy that's all that matters. I think it might be fun to have that wedding thread! I might just start one! Thank you so much for providing us with a good opportunity to discuss this Benji! Once again, Happy Anniversary! 25 years is quite an accomplishment and I'm really happy for you -Kevin
Ieshwar Posted June 26, 2008 Posted June 26, 2008 Happy Anniversary to Benji and your partner! Wish you both lots and lots of love. And I want that thread too, Kevin! It\'s gonna be very interesting. Take care, Ieshwar
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