Get There

[John Doe]

Drewbie,

 

We will see.

 

Hopefully many of you aren't too put off yet. There's only a few chapters left so I hope everyone keeps reading. Hooray!

[Nephylim]

It's no good. I have tried... oh how I have tried but not only can I not bring myself to like or respect Kan's family but I am having a really hard time respecting Kan too.

 

I have written responses and reviews that have turned into rants and I don't want to offend anyone.

 

It's a heck of a compliment to your writing that you have got me so tied up in knots

 

 

[John Doe]

It's no good. I have tried... oh how I have tried but not only can I not bring myself to like or respect Kan's family but I am having a really hard time respecting Kan too.

 

I have written responses and reviews that have turned into rants and I don't want to offend anyone.

 

It's a heck of a compliment to your writing that you have got me so tied up in knots

 

 

 

 

Sorry to put you through this and I understand where you are coming from, but as someone who is in Kan's position I can relate wholly to him (as some of my readers would agree). I get emails from Taiwan, China, and Asain Americans who say I have written their lives. Someone in this forum has put the thoughts and actions behind Kan's and his family's decision pretty well. (My assumptions follows)... You're from a western society where individuality is prized and respected and in eastern society it is second rate to the collective being, whether in the form of a family, company, or organization. Things are done to further the ambitions of that entity not the individual. So as an individual, yes, I can see how someone can dislike or have no respect for Kan and his family but from the viewpoint of someone whose raised in the collectivist viewpoint, I say Kan's family is doing what they are suppose to do (though the cousin is just a dick excuse the langauage) and Kan has a hard decision to make. I commend him and anyone who has been and is currently in his situation to challenge and find his own meaning, his self, his individuality, risking the fall and pride of his collective group (family). I must say I'm am in no means like Kan. I keep telling myself that I will never tell my parents or family. I can't even fathom dating some guy while I'm living in the same state as my parents.

 

Nephy,

It is a touchy subject. I'm intrigued on your viewpoints though I am sure it deals with unconditional love and respect to ones identity no matter the means. Family is family and they should be loved no matter what... that's where I think you're coming from and I can see that (and agree) but disowning someone and never talking to someone does not mean that the family does not love that person disowned. (Mai is a real person. My cousin whom I don't know anymore. Everything about her is unknown. My aunt talks about her sometimes, how she misses her, but asking at the same time why she would "run away" with a white guy. My aunt would say things like how she wonders how my cousin is doing but also that she is not welcomed in her home. I hear no hate in her voice when she reminsence about my cousin, but rather love. It's like a nostalgic longing. It goes both way... where you wonder and can't fathom how Kan and his family work the way they do... Kan's family cannot fathom why Kan would put himself above the family. If you unconditionally love your family you would do what is expected of you. It's two different worlds. Two different cultures. A culture clash and what do one do when they are placed in that situation?

[Nephylim]

Don't every apologise that something you have written has provoked strong emotion in your readers. Isn't that what writing is supposed to do?

 

I found the story thought provoking and interesting. Yes I wholly apprecaite that different cultures have different priorities and perspectives and they are of couse entitled to them. I appreciate that those who are brought up in those societies are affected by the community and families they are brought up in but I can no more understand this attitude towards children than I can understand the fundamentalist Christians who abuse and disown gay children.

 

I do feel that a child is a sacred gift to be treated with respect. Yes give them a framework of your morals values and culture but you have to allow for the unique individuality of the child and you also have to allow that framework to harmonise with the society/country in which you live. If you don't do that the child is isolated and suffers intolerable stress as they constantly try to compromise...to fit the square peg of their framework into round hole that surrounds them everywehere. That way hurts the child, damages them. Then the damaged children damage their children and so it goes on.

 

Somewhere, somehow that cycle has to be broken and a new framework has to be woven that combines the internal culture with the external society, otherwise it can't survive and its death throes devastate all who are connected with it.

 

 

I think it only fair to qualify what I have said to say that this is my opinion, just that...my opinion and I fully accept and respect the fact that others have different opinions. Unfortunately the person I am means that if I feel strongly about something I am wholly incapable of refraining from expressing my opinion... that's not a cultural thing it's a me thing

Edited May 19, 2010 by Nephylim

[John Doe]

Somewhere, somehow that cycle has to be broken and a new framework has to be woven that combines the internal culture with the external society, otherwise it can't survive and its death throes devastate all who are connected with it.

 

Gah! Exactly I completely agree. I only wished people were open to this idea but even now there are families very resistant to this idea. Some afriad their cultural background will be lost (which is respectful fear) but at the same time it restricts some to freeely live and be. I believe there is a happy medium but that medium can't be reached if boths sides won't agree....

[Drewbie]

 

Aww loved seeing mai in there

 

glad kan had the talk, i hope beau will hear him out.

 

[Young Sage]

Firstly, congrats on finishing up the story. Second, looking at my review, I realize I may have been overly critical. Giving us a serene scene and then shattering it in an instant is basically what horror movies do best. It's one of the best tricks to lure people into compliance, letting their guard down, and then striking when they're most vulnerable. It (the cliffhanger) just, to me, seemed like an almost desperate ploy to get us paying attention to the story, to not forget that it exists. Again, that's what I saw; it won't be what everyone else saw. You said that the cliffhanger has a point, and I believe you. Talk to anyone who reads my story. They'll tell you how fast and sudden the plot swerves, and how EVERYTHING can be interpreted in multiple ways.

 

To elaborate on the Mai (and I'm sorry, but I can't help but to imagine the Yu-Gi-Oh! character of the same name whenever I see that name) and Kan's father's name (it'd really be easier if I learned his name, wouldn't it). I was glad that you decided to not imply that simply because Mai chose her feelings over family, her decision automatically ensures a happy life and all her decisions are right. It's the little things like that I notice (or read WAY too much into...thanks psychology degree). Also, you didn't turn Kan's dad from disapproving parent to PFLAG member in the blink of an eye. His ideologies are too ingrained for him to do a complete 180. He really actually can't think of another way of life other than his. The best he can do is think of a compromise, which is really what he did. I don't know much about Asian culture, but I believe that in this precise situation, that's what a real Chinese father would do ("best case" scenario).

[Caedus]

I'm all caught up! I should probably revise some of my comments about the main characters in earlier chapters, but I think my statements had some truth since, as you've made pretty clear at the time, this is a coming of age story, and as such the characters are not going to be perfect agreeable heroes that we'll like 24/7. Which is what I'm like most about this story. It's more realistic than I expected, giving a good insight on Kan's life and his very real struggles. I am a 1st generation African-American, my parents came from a collectivist society, so I can relate to a few of Kan's struggles with expectations. At the same time his very different Asian culture and it's values are ingrained in him more than my family's were in me. I am not connected to my extended family like he is so I don't feel that pressure. Nor have I ever been in a situation where love and family were put in direct conflict.

 

I'm really glad you put Mai's story in this chapter. I'm glad your realism extends to relationships as well, thanks to Mai's fallout with her earlier BF. To be honest I always the whole Kan/Beau thing would run it's course one way or the other and the fact that it lasted this long is a feat in and of it's self. If it wasn't James, Beau's cowardice, college, or Kan's struggles with his sexuality, it would of been something else. Despite Dr. Sheng's compromise - which was nice because it was real (if not optimistic) expectation of how he could of dealt with it - I don't expect a happy ending with Kan and Beau running into the sunset, unscathed. But I don't expect you to kill him off either, it wouldn't flow at all with what you've done with your story up to this point. So this leaves us with a rather broad middle ground in which there are quite a few possibilities for Kan's future. Life, as we all know, can be quite unfair, and I didn't read this expect a feel-good conclusion. So whats gonna give? Kan already has a lot on his plate, and you made him so happy, so is this newest tragedy supposed to display his resilience to life's weight, always bending him, but never quite breaking him? It'll be interesting to read how you plan on using this latest tragedy to set the tone for the conclusion.

[John Doe]

Young Sage - Don't worry about your comments. I knew specifically what you were saying and there's is that potential for it to be a shocker as most writers have done so to draw that intended feeling because they got nothing else up their sleeves and needed to recapture their audience. For me I knew that that was part of the ending the moment I thought of this story. I knew this moment before I wrote the beginning and middle. I knew I wanted "that scene" and so for Get There it was a reworking from ending to beginning and then fill the middle to bridge the gap from point A to B. So I hope my ending is not one of those "haha sucker, got ya" moments. (I got more to say but maybe I'll save it for the end...heh)

 

 

Caedus - Realism is what I hoped to acheive in this story though the last two chapters may stretch that idea some but I believe it still maintainable and believable. And I get tired of the perfect characters in stories we read online today and some even published works. No one is perfect. Even the seemingly perfect characters has flaws, something that drives them to that perfection: a regretful past, unbearable expectations and/ or burdens, or an unlivable dream that they can never attain. Something is there to make them seem like perfection. For me I wanted Beau to be that perfect person. A person so caught up with Kan that he doesn't realize about himself. My belief is that before you can truely love someone you must first come to love yourself. And that's why I wrote in that scene with Susan. (You'll find out specifics in chapter 24). Beau has a cowardly aspect to himself too (I think you mentioned this). In a real life situation that annoys the crap out of me. I believe the only way he is likable in this story is because we can see his mindframe and train of thought as to why he is a coward.

 

I believe we have too many stories that have the perfect character without any flaws or rather, any believable flaws... like bing clumsy is not a flaw (*cough* *cough* Bella *cough* *cough*), or being perfect in itself is not a flaw (well the stories that I have read did not write that out well enough for me to believe that lame excuse). (*pushed phelgm from the throat* Edward *spits*) (all joking aside I did enjoy the books because of it's storyline, especially books three and four because of the Volturi aspect, but details like those mentioned before drove me up the wall when I was reading that series) If being perfect was a flaw, I wanted to see the person plan out their future 20 years in advance maybe for the rest of their lives and is determined not to change anything in their plans. When they are THAT perfect they may be even be a little OCD, orgainzing their books, cds, dvds in alphabetical order according to artist/author and then year the items came out... their room is symetrical when divided in half, anything thats OCD basically, and then yeah I'll believe the perfection is a flaw thing but most stories these days have the perfect person and implies or even states that that perfection is a flaw but does things normally, accepts the love interest with open arms, and just goes with the flow. That's just too perfect and not realistic. Sure I like to read those stories sometimes but I'll never believe the circumstances of the story. My nagging voice will remind me constantly and sometimes that perfection will just annoy the crap out of me.

 

Believability. That's why Mai's relationship failed. Not every story is a fairytail. People say you have to work hard to maintain a good relationship and even harder to maintain a marriage and I argee. Happily ever after does not just happens. It takes the effort of both party for it to work and stay ever after. I throw one thing after another at Kan and Beau so there is no way I'll make Mai's first relationship a happy one. No way, not even if hell has froze over (heck there is some myth that even believes parts of hell or even hell itself is frozen). Related side author opinion: I love how people comment how high school love is ignorant and unbelievable. I disagree. I believe it IS POSSIBLE, but people in general are the impossible factors. Adults break up all the time. Divorces are happening left and right. High school love is just the target of this ideal because they are the "youngest" having yet to live "real life." If people haven't realized high school is a part of life, making it a real life experience. I have seen high school sweethearts married and remained happily married (one couple for 45 years now with a huge family). But for the most part, people fail in general when it comes to love, and the fault or blame shouldn't be placed harsher on highschool sweethearts as there are people breaking up late into adult life. People tosses the feeling of love you get in highschool as young love...is there even such a thing? Love is love regardless of age. A child knows how to cry when their first dog dies, does that make those emotions any less revelant because of their age? Oh they were only 6 when "Old Yeller" died or maybe even a close relative (mom or dad), they haven't known real lost yet. Give it a few years and a few deaths, they'll know the real thing then. That's ridiculous.

 

But back to the story... I may post Chapter 24 soon. Depending on how many grovelers I get in the next few hours or days. Here would be an ideal place. Plus leave a comment on the topics we've been discussing or even a new one I don't mind or care. But yes need more groveling at me feet. Muahahahahahaha.

[Caedus]

Please, Please Please!Can we see the last chapter!?!?!

Edited June 22, 2010 by Caedus

[Caedus]

I'm not above begging if I have to. I want to read about how you plan on ending this story, which should quite fun due to the perilous situation the main character is currently in.

 

A slightly unrelated side note: If you managed to read the Twilight books without ripping your eyes out you should give True Blood a shot. It gives you imo a way better view of vampires recently exposed to the public. I think you would like every-woman Sookie Stackhouse more than sparkles for brains Bella. way more blood and violence with a more in depth and complex look at the relationships in and between magical and non-magical creatures. I think you'd take particular interest in the curious love triangle between Sookie, her vamp love Bill Compton, and his boss Eric Northman, her sex-dream partner.

 

OK, back on topic... I think the reason why relationships in HS and beyond fail miserably is because of the foundation they are built upon. I don't believe that Eros/Mania love that Beau exhibits towards Kan is unsustainable in long term relationships. I don't like how people sell us this Disney garbage expecting people to find their one true love and walk off into the sunset without a care in the world. How could you live life constantly dealing with jealousy and doubt about your partner, viewing them as some idealized possession to hold at all cost?! This is why only a few HS sweethearts last so long, because they don't built a relationship on a love other than romance and burning passion, viewing their SO's as partners and friends, seeing their faults and failings and working past them.

I kinda hope you kill off Beau/Kan in the end because readers could see the gradual curve that got them to the point where they became so incompatible, that it couldn't work anymore, which happens a lot in real life marriages and LTRs.

 

I'm still confused on a couple of points at this point in the story, which I was hoping you could clarify on:

- How does Kan view romantic love? You covered how his cultural background shapes his view on his family and how important it is in his life, but what about love?

- While James obvious had real feelings for Kan, Kan didn't seem to reciprocate them. So was James just a tool that forced Kan to acknowledge and indulge in his sexuality?

- Why was it that Kan felt more free to explore his sexual feelings with James, even after (initially) rejecting Beau, who revealed himself as being gay?

 

I love how you showed the failings of some of the main characters. Lawrence and his contradictions: I'm guessing his gay brother committed suicide (though it's never been stated explicitly). This was his main reason for being supportive of Beau and become quite judgmental of Kan and his initial rejection of Beau. I loved how you made Lawrence come face to face with his own flaws (literally), making him face up to it. Lindsey, despite her friendship to Kan is still a slave to HS social hierarchy, doing nothing but stand on the side when the proverbial s**t hit the fan. Julie Ann seems so supportive of Kan and Beau, but I haven't really found many faults in her. She defies the HS social cues by dating someone below her level, but this pretty commonplace in HS, enough that it's pretty insignificant.

 

I think one thing I've learned reading this story is: Never go for something serious with a repressed closet case, which is sort of ironic (and perhaps even hypocritical) considering my situation.

 

Can't wait for the Finale!

[Young Sage]

You may have Caedus doing tricks for you like a well-trained puppy, but I ain't doing any groveling. It's beneath me. If you knew my characters, which all have a piece of me in them, then you would know this. Despite Nephy's best wishes and "institutionalization" DVDs, I'm not turning "uke" for anyone.

 

I, for one, would NOT like to see you kill off Beau and Kan, because that seems harsh. I like a happy ending, no matter how bad it was to get there (...OH I GET IT NOW!!!). Hope the groveling campaign goes well!

[Caedus]

HEY I AM NOT A PUPPY! I have plenty of dignity. I only charge people to see my tricks.

 

 

And I didn't say I wanted Doe to kill off Kan and Beau. I said I kinda hoped that their relationship would run its natural course (which in this case could possibly be death). But if they're happy ending came after scorched earth scenario with plenty of emotional (and maybe physical) destruction, I think thats pretty fair as well. But then wouldn't you have to ask yourself if such love is worth such high costs? And what costs are you stuck paying even after your happy ending?

[John Doe]

I'm not above begging if I have to. I want to read about how you plan on ending this story, which should quite fun due to the perilous situation the main character is currently in.

 

A slightly unrelated side note: If you managed to read the Twilight books without ripping your eyes out you should give True Blood a shot. It gives you imo a way better view of vampires recently exposed to the public. I think you would like every-woman Sookie Stackhouse more than sparkles for brains Bella. way more blood and violence with a more in depth and complex look at the relationships in and between magical and non-magical creatures. I think you'd take particular interest in the curious love triangle between Sookie, her vamp love Bill Compton, and his boss Eric Northman, her sex-dream partner.

 

I have tried to read that series but something about Ms. Harris' writing styles irks me. I read the first book completely but couldn't get over the writing style. Though looking through the book now I don't see what had annoy me. But now I am watching the HBO show and that has ruined me for the books. If I haven't read the books first but seen the shows/movies first it ruins the books for me and I don't read them. Harry Potter I have not read because of that fact. (I read the last book though). I know I suck but I saw TrueBlood TV before I knew of the books.

 

I like a happy ending, no matter how bad it was to get there (...OH I GET IT NOW!!!).

 

Haha You get my title now eh. About time. Haha.

 

I was joking about the groveling. Should be up by tonight. Chapter 24 that is the second to last chapter.

[Jons317]

Just read ch 24

 

 

When I started reading I said really loudly "GRR, ARGH, What?"

 

Had to go back and read it just to make sure you didn't screw with my mind even more. I experienced a variety of emotions. Felt for both Beau and Leng as they experienced the roller coaster of emotions and events.

 

...I need to go hug my puppy now.

 

Really looking forward to the final chapter. No, I take that back, I'm not looking forward to the story to end.

 

In advance, thanks for a great story with infectious characters, plot, and style, etc.

[John Doe]

I just wrote a response to a comment and I hope that reader reads my reponse but I felt like I have to defend my story and I did so... so now that I'm done I hope the reader doesn't take offense. But I stand by my words, both story and response. But I believe that reader had valid points. There are many stories with tragedies to end their stories, thought I disagree that its the "stereotypical gay" tragedy statement. Gays dont have it harder. Their lives are as hard as anyone elses gay, staright, bi, transgendered, black, white, yellow, poor, rich, Christian, Muslim, etc. This story was never intended to allude that gays have it harder and in my opinion, I believe that reader has taken tihngs that and let that obscure his opinion. Kan could have been female and it would have been stereotypical. Kan could have been white, and it would have been stereotypical. My point? No matter our differences the human experience is the same... it's called humanity and being human. What makes a sotry different and unique are the people who make the story. This is Kan and Beau's story.

 

I guess I am ranting some... but I don't think people should toss a story aside because it's a bit cliche. Yeah so what maybe some things are a bit cliche (but isn't life made up of cliches.... love, anger, loss)... it's the characters that makes each story different, like how my life is mine alone and no one elses... Kan and Beau's lives are their own and that makes them different. If cliches are stopping someone to read, they shouldn't be reading at all. You should read for the characters and their stories. I hoped to take cliches and make them my own and hopefully I've succeeded for most of you. There may be some out there that disagrees but I can respect that and I can understand why.

 

Chapter 25 (THE LAST CHAPTER!!!) will be posted by Friday hopefully.

[riolongoria]

You are a wonderful writer, I joined this web site just to tell you that. I hope you receive the encouragement you need to continue being a story teller. I would like to see this story published and made required reading in high schools. It would have changed my life to have had stories like this one to relate to all those decades ago. Unfortunately, I don

[Young Sage]

^Well I can't write anything better than the above. I was one of those people who read Get There from the beginning (though on Nifty at first). It's a sad story as to how I got to reading it in the first place, due to the fact that Nifty doesn't allow for summaries to be written. I checked it out simply because it was in PDF format, and I've always had good luck with stories written in PDF format. And I was continued to be proven right! Loved the story, in short. Don't know what you have planned next, but I'm sure it will be amazing and I will follow it faithfully (unless it's that dominance/submission-heavy story you were talking about elsewhere that you wanted to write; that ain't my thing). Now drink yourself into a drunken stupor as celebration!

[John Doe]

Hello,

 

The name is Michael, (gryndyl) btw. And I read your author's reply to my review.

 

To that end, you didn't get what I was saying. I stated early in the review that the story was a well crafted and an unique storyline - presenting how culture plays a part in the "Gay coming out" process. What you failed to understand is that the accident AT THAT POINT in the story was unnecessary. You soiled the great care and time you spent with cultural character development.

 

I can understand how you wanted Kan's father to "wake up" at the potential loss of his son. But, as if you say - that your culture is that strongly rooted in "traditions and believes" - that dead set again his son's choices and he has been ostracized (removed) from the family, then such an accident <especially when his father said, "give me time" <paraphrased> was inappropriate. The family still considered his cousin dead to them even as she respected their traditions. I'm sure an accident would not have brought the family to their senses. So what makes you think his father would come to his senses because his son was involved in a life threatening accident?

 

Family, sometimes, is NOT ALL that and a bag of chips . Neither are belief systems. I am reminded of two 16 year Saudi's hung side by side for being Gay while their parents stood watching. While their parents GRIEVED, they said that's their belief system and the punishment was just. So much for traditional family values or an enlightened moment.

 

Hell, I understand family and cultural differences. I am a mulatto. Know what that is? A mixed child born of both black and white decent. Raised in a black neighborhood. Beaten most everyday because I happened to come out "looking white" - light skin and straight hair. Know what my parents said? "Suck it up, that is the way of the world." Meanwhile my father's (black) relatives wouldn't accept my mom's (white relatives) and visa-versa. And I was left in the middle to fight this internal battle. And to then come out as Gay. Think I don't understand cultural drama? However, just as a bird pushes a baby out the nest, it is a force of nature that every living thing has to make it's own way - their own happiness without the constraints of previous generations. You respect first and foremost yourself - and then those that respect you. Even your parents or you move on.

 

Based on the time and care you took to construct the storyline and Kan's realization, I would have thought you would have allowed immediately Kan to be united with Beau. A month or so of time together - discovering the differences and how to cope with them in their relationship, and then have Kan's father dying and request his son's presence. Would have worked alot better for me than having the two of them suffer a tragedy immediately. Let Kan become FIRM in his decision about HIS happiness.

 

But his is my opinion of how I saw a much more flowing storyline. When I told my parents I was Gay, I was "invited" <sarcasm> to remove myself from their lives. And I did. I set about my own happiness. Some time latter when my dad had a stroke, my mother called me and asked me to come home, totally ignoring the fact that I was called a half-breed faggot and told never to darken their house again. So much for their traditional values.

 

You will find in life that many times, people manipulate beliefs to fit their definitions in a time and space that suits them, are suddenly will "adapt" to soothe their conscious - religion, culture, belief systems or not. Having not ready the rest of the story, I HOPE you make that point.

 

That said, excellent story!

 

-blessings,

Michael.

 

For you the accident was unnecessary at that moment, as you have grown tired of such stories. I know you liked my story up to that point. (I know what a mulatto is... since this country was rife with the issues of slavery and whatnot. And I understand how it is to be of mulatto origins, as my friend in high school was, and she had some horrible tales, of growing up in Arkansas, but I will never truly know, empathize, and know the experience myself. I can only sympathize). And I understood the meaning of your comment about the accident. I guess my explanation of the story muddied things but I had hoped you understand why I choose to write that way. I was trying to explain how my story structure was like and its relevance. The story is in need of editing, cut out scenes that were unnecessary, etc., but I disagree on "that moment." I think that point was the perfect time. If I was to write out the "exploration" of their relationship it would be just filler. Yeah readers would enjoy it because they get to see Kan and Beau moments. But Kan will second guess every decision he makes during that whole time (kinda like throughout the whole story) and by this time (and if I should add those types of scenes of Kan and Beau together in) it would just be filler fluff. From a writing and structure standpoint, I would only be repackaging my story for a smaller few scenes/chapters to prolong a story to convey what is already known: that the two care for each other and they have a hardship that deals with Kan's culture. I could have said oh and they enjoyed their relationship for a few months and this is what they discovered about each other and go into summary detail of what they did discover, but the way they felt is already apparent throughout the whole story and thus those moments are just saying what should have been picked up a long time ago. It would be like being the person who asked you if you got the joke and you nodded and he explains the joke to you anyway. As I keep stating this isn't just a "get together" story. As a writer, I need to be specific, concise, and I can't really repeat myself too much in my work. It gets tiresome and repetitive and it will detract from the story.

 

On to the heavy topic: I also gave a story depth response because I wanted you to be aware of your western mindset and it's possible block/ refusal of acceptance of the rigidness of my culture. It's a hard thing to swallow. I struggle with it to this day as I am raised immersed in both western and eastern influence. Most days I make decisions bowing to my eastern ideals... like I'm not out. But I am damn proud of myself. I can't put my family through the disgrace and I probably never will come out unless someone exposes me. But I have friends who I can laugh and share happy memories with and to me they are my family also. I will defend them, even to the disagreement of my family, because my friends have stand by and protected me from those who refuses to understand the position I'm in and I will do everything in my power to protect both. There has not been a moment yet where those two groups have been in conflict, because the two care about me, and plus I don't see any possible conflict soon.

 

Your right sometimes family isn't all that, and taken Leng's emotional views he would have grieved if Kan died (I did say that those who didn't grieve were on the extreme end). I knew Uncles and Aunts who did not grieve for my cousins death (as stated in my previous response, it was more like relief).

 

If you are thinking this story with a western concept, it will inhibit what I am trying to tell you. As an individual, you do not think of yourself in Asian culture, especially in smaller Asian minorities. It's the collective. I think this is where the disagreement comes from with some of my readers. It's ingrained in every child at a small age that you don't matter to the group as an individual that your love should be for the whole. So you don't respect yourself first and foremost, you respect the your family, culture, and traditions first and foremost. And when you are raised that way, it's part of your being and you treasure those ideals, never once having issues with it, until conflict arises. What do you then? As your heart bleeds for both. Kan's father would have never requested to see Kan if he should be dying in a hospital bed, not after Kan was a disgrace. There's dignity in death after all. Calling for the disgraced Kan would take away that dignity. He would have left a letter for best scenario.

 

The way I see it the majority of the western masses are more flexible with their traditions and values, and unfortunately not so in my culture. If it was legal I know of people who will kill their own sons and daughters themselves for the "disgrace" they have inflicted on their family.

 

Michael told your parents because you wanted them to know who you are truly and I applaud you for that, for having the courage that I don't have. For having that sense of freedom, I am jealous. I can never do it. It's too much of a shame for my family to bear. I rather uphold my parents' (and extended family) dignity and honor, as I am their child, they have raised me. Filial responsibility. I am willing to set aside my "love" happiness for the happiness of my entire family because I also love them and my culture. I damn proud of it. They mean that much to me. Am I happy? I am. Are there days when I wished I can have a significant other to hold? I do, but not enough to not see my family. Kan's decision would have never been firm. He would always second guess himself. He wouldn't doubt Beau's love but doubt his feelings. Is he doing the right thing? Kan and Beau's relationship wouldn't survive without Kan being force with deadly truth.

 

I know you may probably say it's Kan's decision and he'll come to it sooner or later, but it's not that simple, as the story and what I am trying to tell my readers. In my culture and a lot of eastern culture, the culture and tradition ARE all that and the bag of chips (using your metaphor).

 

You're right. Ultimately people have to choose. For me and people in Kan's shoes that decision is a hard one to make, and like me, I know of many people growing up in eastern culture who decides not to choose the "love of a partner."

 

Gah this is hard to explain and even if you do get it, it's hard for many to swallow. If you can't accept it, I accept that. Without being raised in that environment and culture the person cannot truly understand my thought process and/ or Kan's. You're right about the last part, humanity uses the current mainstream to control those who deviates from it. But I feel that in eastern society, it gets more complicated than that. Honor is a big deal and isn't always about consciousness or what's "right."

 

This should be in the forums. People you should be more like Michael. Voice those opinions. We may disagree but it doesn't mean you should feel like you can't say it. Be more like Michael. Embrace your western side. Haha. If you are from elsewhere than a western society, find that western moment. Besides you may have a point or relevance I may miss.

 

 

 

[riolongoria]

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story. I was not disappointed with the final chapter. Redemption and forgiveness are such powerful forces in our lives, and they help us live without regret. I truly hope you have an easier time with your family than Kan had with his. Best of luck to you. I hope to buy this book someday.

 

 

[John Doe]

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story. I was not disappointed with the final chapter. Redemption and forgiveness are such powerful forces in our lives, and they help us live without regret. I truly hope you have an easier time with your family than Kan had with his. Best of luck to you. I hope to buy this book someday.

 

 

 

 

Buy this book? Really? Wow... that's the comment of the century for me... and you sounded so sincere about it. I'm not entirely sure. I would like to but the thing is I'm not completely out. My family don't know. I am very much in Kan's shoes only I feel that I couldn't bring down my parents. My situation is also a bit more complicated than Kan's. My family don't know and I don't want them to know. I'm okay with being "in"... so I can't decide if I want to publish or not. What I do know is that the story is far from perfect and the final book form would be different from the one on here if I should ever publish it. Vastly different. Though the storyline and flow will be very similar. I'm glad you're already willing to purchase the book. (My roommate thinks I should publish the book because "what's the point of writing something that personal and long...you have the readers, you have buyers..."). Thanks for picking up the story and reading it and a great big thanks of writing what you think of it.

[riolongoria]

Buy this book? Really? Wow... that's the comment of the century for me... and you sounded so sincere about it. I'm not entirely sure. I would like to but the thing is I'm not completely out. My family don't know. I am very much in Kan's shoes only I feel that I couldn't bring down my parents. My situation is also a bit more complicated than Kan's. My family don't know and I don't want them to know. I'm okay with being "in"... so I can't decide if I want to publish or not. What I do know is that the story is far from perfect and the final book form would be different from the one on here if I should ever publish it. Vastly different. Though the storyline and flow will be very similar. I'm glad you're already willing to purchase the book. (My roommate thinks I should publish the book because "what's the point of writing something that personal and long...you have the readers, you have buyers..."). Thanks for picking up the story and reading it and a great big thanks of writing what you think of it.

[Sara Alva]

Just finished reading your story . . . so glad it had a happy ending! I know real life isn't always like that, but I always feel like I read for the sense of hope it provides . . . sadness I can get from watching the news The characters seemed very real and the switching viewpoints was unique and interesting. Thanks for writing and posting such an entertaining story!

[John Doe]

Just finished reading your story . . . so glad it had a happy ending! I know real life isn't always like that, but I always feel like I read for the sense of hope it provides . . . sadness I can get from watching the news The characters seemed very real and the switching viewpoints was unique and interesting. Thanks for writing and posting such an entertaining story!

 

 

Thanks... sorry I didn't reply earlier... the semester was crazy and I was without a computer for a little over 6 months... crazy I know... hopefully you'll pick up my other "fun magical" stories... and I really really appreciate you writing something this little back... it tells me a lot. So thanks.