[Andrew_Q_Gordon] Second Shot

[KevinD]

Gee - all that we had to do was ask?

Thanks for the early weekend gift post Andy!

[Sara Alva]

The other goal with the last couple chapters was to show a bit more of their characters. I think people spend the first so many months trying to curb their faults in an effort to 'make things work.' They also will over look things - warning signs - as well. I was trying to show a bit more of Peter's character - I don't want to point out what exactly I was trying to highlight because some of them are going to play a role in the end of the story but suffice it to say that there were some clues left here that will rear their head soon enough.

 

Oooh . . .*thoughts swirling in my head*

 

And yes-- so true about the beginnings of a relationship.

 

Can't wait for the next chap!

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Okay so as promised a couple days early, here is Chapter 28: The Price You Pay

 

Sorry for all the 'updates' everyone who has it on their favorites list got, it seems there was an issue with the new software and my formatting. Finally figured it out - after about 7 tries [or how ever many notices you got]

 

Okay, so IF you haven't read the new chapter, don't read the spoiler I am including:

 

 

 

 

Barbara's 'turn around' is based loosely on my experience with my mother. My parents - not just my mom - were not too keen on having a gay son. In fact for the first year after I told them, we barely spoke. What turned things around was something that is still a bit painful every year. 23 years ago in October, my cousin died. He and I were 6 weeks apart. Growing up we were closer to each other than to our own brothers - his was 5 years older, mine is 3 younger. We spent weeks at a time at each others' house - to the point his parents were almost second parents to me and vise verse. His death devastated not only my Aunt and Uncle, but my parents as well. As the funeral wound down, I was preparing to get in the car I rented with my sister - I did not drive with my parents, why would I they barely spoke to me - when my mother pulled me aside - she was still very upset needless to say. She told me that her brother will never be able to see his son again except sitting by his grave. Her son is not dead and she was not going to treat me like I was. Things improved after that - to the point now that they are disappointed when we don't come to events or stay at their place when we do - it's a space issue, they only have twin beds in their guests room.

 

Anyway, the impetus for Amanda's speech and Barbara's turn around comes from that bitter sweet day. It was the day I said good bye to my best friend and hello again to my parents. So there you have it, that is why that particular scene still chokes me up, despite how long ago I wrote it.

 

 

 

 

And you will note, no cliffs in this chapter so I won't be pressured into posting the next chapter any sooner than planned

 

Andy

[Sara Alva]

I got a little choked up too . . . sad that this is what it took for Barbara, and sometimes takes in real life.

[KevinD]

Very powerful and very unexpected Andy - I appreciate your sharing the personal connection that you provided based upon your own family experiences. How sad that it often takes a tragedy to open closed minds...

 

[Frostina]

Very powerful Andy - I appreciate your sharing the personal connection that you provided based upon your own family experiences. How sad that it often takes a tragedy to open closed minds...

 

 

Ditto! what Kevin said!

Other than updates on peter's condition, i don't think i will bug you any further..

 

so??

hmmm???

Hello??? Peter???

[Andrew Q Gordon]

I need some help - okay maybe a lot of help. Hopefully someone who is reading this will knows the answer etc.

 

Apple just released it's latest version of Pages - their word processor. In the new version is the ability to convert my work into an ePub format that at a minimum can be read on iPads, iPods, and iPhones that have the free iBooks reader. I think it is also readable on other devises as they claim they are using the international standard for ePub.

 

1) Does anyone have an eReader other than an iSomething? Mike - the partner has an iPad - thanks to yours truly and Christmas - so we can test this out on his. But anyone have a different reader? I do not think a Kindle will work but won't say it won't. If anyone who has an eReader is interested I will email them the first 28 chapters in ePub format, provided they agree to give me feed back on the formatting etc.

 

2) I am trying to create a cover - I am not good at computer graphics and such. Nor am I good at inserting this into a Word/Pages format so I can make it page 1/the cover. Anyone who is reading able to help me with this?? Telling/showing me how would be preferred so I can tinker with it until I get what I want, but I will take what help I can get.

 

If you are interested in an eCopy, shoot me an email - belsport09@gmail.com.

 

If you can help with the Cover, PM me or email me.

 

Thanks

 

Andy

[Benji]

Okay so as promised a couple days early, here is Chapter 28: The Price You Pay

 

Sorry for all the 'updates' everyone who has it on their favorites list got, it seems there was an issue with the new software and my formatting. Finally figured it out - after about 7 tries [or how ever many notices you got]

 

Okay, so IF you haven't read the new chapter, don't read the spoiler I am including:

 

 

 

 

Barbara's 'turn around' is based loosely on my experience with my mother. My parents - not just my mom - were not too keen on having a gay son. In fact for the first year after I told them, we barely spoke. What turned things around was something that is still a bit painful every year. 23 years ago in October, my cousin died. He and I were 6 weeks apart. Growing up we were closer to each other than to our own brothers - his was 5 years older, mine is 3 younger. We spent weeks at a time at each others' house - to the point his parents were almost second parents to me and vise verse. His death devastated not only my Aunt and Uncle, but my parents as well. As the funeral wound down, I was preparing to get in the car I rented with my sister - I did not drive with my parents, why would I they barely spoke to me - when my mother pulled me aside - she was still very upset needless to say. She told me that her brother will never be able to see his son again except sitting by his grave. Her son is not dead and she was not going to treat me like I was. Things improved after that - to the point now that they are disappointed when we don't come to events or stay at their place when we do - it's a space issue, they only have twin beds in their guests room.

 

Anyway, the impetus for Amanda's speech and Barbara's turn around comes from that bitter sweet day. It was the day I said good bye to my best friend and hello again to my parents. So there you have it, that is why that particular scene still chokes me up, despite how long ago I wrote it.

 

 

 

 

And you will note, no cliffs in this chapter so I won't be pressured into posting the next chapter any sooner than planned

 

Andy

 

............... I know you are not going to believe this, but I kinda figured out that his grandparents were not going to come to the rescue, you had left too many denials!! But I was surprised that it was Amanda that made Barbara do an 180 overnight! That shocked me, I was figuring the dad and brother would be at the hospital with full support instead. Great chapter, sorry to hear it brought up painful memories for you, very glad it worked out though.

[mattgtf]

Andy-

Yet another fantastic series of chapters. The raw emotions and the familial response has been nothing short of amazing.

 

I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop....this can't be the end of the drama.

 

I'm interested in seeing what Dean has to say about all of this...should be an interesting next few chapters.

 

--Matt

 

Oh, and I have the Sony eBook Reader...

[Andrew Q Gordon]

So I wasn't going to post this Monday since i posted Chapter 28 two days early, but taking Watch Pat Run's advice, I took the day off. Not that I got as much writing done as I wanted but I'm make SOME progress so I decided to put this chapter up. It's fairly short as my chapters go, and as promised - this chapter was written without harming any cliff's or leave people hangin - Geez people, it's not like I'm Cia or anything [Vote Cia queen of cliffhangers in 2010!!!!]

 

Chapter 29: Brothers

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Andy-

Yet another fantastic series of chapters. The raw emotions and the familial response has been nothing short of amazing.

 

I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop....this can't be the end of the drama.

 

I'm interested in seeing what Dean has to say about all of this...should be an interesting next few chapters.

 

--Matt

 

Oh, and I have the Sony eBook Reader...

 

Thank Matt,

 

I appreciate the comments and the offer to help me with the ePub.

 

Andy

[Benji]

So I wasn't going to post this Monday since i posted Chapter 28 two days early, but taking Watch Pat Run's advice, I took the day off. Not that I got as much writing done as I wanted but I'm make SOME progress so I decided to put this chapter up. It's fairly short as my chapters go, and as promised - this chapter was written without harming any cliff's or leave people hangin - Geez people, it's not like I'm Cia or anything [Vote Cia queen of cliffhangers in 2010!!!!]

 

Chapter 29: Brothers

 

...................Another great chapter, I loved the interaction of the brothers here, the interplay was great and 'right on' in the saga. Royce seems to have cooled down, I'm guessing it is to his relief the 'drama' is over. Darryrl's suggestion at shooting pool seems to have an foretelling of trouble in the next chapter, with Dean wanting to get drunk and the fact that they will be about and about, something seems wrong, maybe something will happen. But then again Andy has surprised me before! Could be the storm after the calm besieged by another storm here!

[Caedus]

28 was a good read, Its interesting the things one has to say and do ( or in Jason case NOT say) in order to salvage a relationship and reconcile. You can't compromise yourself and make promises you can't keep, but at the same time you can't burn bridges. Anger is too convienent to give up as well, you feel so comfortable dwelling in it and hating someone, even when we know expressing anger like that is counter-productive, or even toxic. So while I'm glad Jason is trying to step up and work with his Mom, I wonder how his relationship will change when we find out what happens to Peter..

 

Chapter 29 gave us a good little peak into Dean, and while I guess Betsy's kind of what you'd expect from a divorcee ( where in NA are they that Tom got a southern girl?), I don't really expect to get much out of her, though maybe I'm selling her short like the other characters. :shrugs:

 

Anyways Dean! Dean definitely seems like what you'd expect from a teenager close to being legal, with all the fondness and irritation mixed in when dealing with one. With this chapter you see Dean step up and help us understand his relationship to Jason, but he's still a teenager, making him prone to most of the weaknesses that come with it. I know this may sound horrible, but I enjoy seeing your characters fail, because you do it so well, and it makes them easier to visualize and connect to the story.

 

Darryl may be a great friend and all that, but he's still very capable in making lapses in judgement... I forget is he still single?

 

Anyways good last couple of chapters, Andy.

Edited January 12, 2011 by Caedus

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Imo,

 

First, what time do you get up?? you posted this at 7:30 my time which is 4:30 yours

 

Thanks for the comments, you always seem to see so much into things - I'm impressed. Tom and Betsy live in Dalla - I think I wrote that in the draft and it might have been cut in the final version but that was my idea from the get go, hence Tom not being around since Peter is in Central PA.

 

Jason - having lived with his mom knows her and how she is. Sometimes it is best not to poke a sleeping bear. I think if Peter doesn't make it, things might not improve any time soon for them. Althouht he accepts part of the blame is his, I think he will resent her for her part in what happened.

 

As for Dean, well, let's just say this weekend visit isn't over and as you say, he is still a teenager at his older brother's college and away from the parents.

 

Thanks again for the review - and for reading. I hope to be able to get this wrapped up soon, but that might make me wish it wasn't. LOL

 

Andy

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Chapter 30 is up - Darryl and Dean take Jason out to play pool to forget about things - only problem is the police get involve -

 

 

Here's the link:

 

Chapter 30: A Nght Out To Forget

[Frostina]

Dean wanting to get drunk, Jordan's frat Buddies and Cops!!! how much more stressful can an evening get for Jason?

And why? Just because Jason wanted to shoot pool with his Bro... when will he catch a break??

 

Andy..

U r putting him through so much!!

Please... some good news.. and soon!!!

[Nephylim]

I like the way you are putting the boys through so much and I have an idea that it is going to get better then worse then who knows

 

Awesome story

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Chapter 31 is up - short chapter, just a little transition. Maybe, just maybe, I will post 32 sooner since this one was so short. Have to see how I do with the new chapters.

 

Here's a link:

 

Chapter 31: Pre-Game Warm Up

[mattgtf]

Chapter 31 is up - short chapter, just a little transition. Maybe, just maybe, I will post 32 sooner since this one was so short. Have to see how I do with the new chapters.

 

Here's a link:

 

Chapter 31: Pre-Game Warm Up

 

 

Andyyyyyyyyyyy

 

You're teasing me again

 

I liked the transition. The connection between Mike and Ed seems like it will become a strong supporting cast, and I can see that as a great basis for a sequel

 

Keep up the good work!

 

--Matt

[Benji]

Dean wanting to get drunk, Jordan's frat Buddies and Cops!!! how much more stressful can an evening get for Jason?

And why? Just because Jason wanted to shoot pool with his Bro... when will he catch a break??

 

Andy..

U r putting him through so much!!

Please... some good news.. and soon!!!

 

................I seem to now be out of sync with Andy's postings. I did not see 30 come up before seeing 31!!! This an instance were a frat house should be shut down by the actions of their members 1st, Jordan's & company, and then their frat brothers further actions, the college should see this very clearly. The townspeople's reaction did not surprise me at all, I've heard of many that held a bit of resentment toward bratty college kids that get away with a lot of bullshit, because they have been fed silver spooned from birth. I'm a bit surprised that Darryl took Jason's advice and got his brother out of there, but without coming back to defend him? Not like him at all unless the cops were already there on the scene. I'm going to guess that is what happened, once they were out the exit they were met up by the cops. With the testimony by the townsfolk, I'm sure those 3 frat boys are long gone from the program, if not charged. 'Stupid does as stupid is'

 

Great chapter!! Andy, you have a flair to point out the obvious without being obvious.

[Sara Alva]

Transitions are important; they make the story feel more real.

 

I bet someone has already said this, but I'm too lazy to read all the posts . . . I could totally see this as a TV series.

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Andyyyyyyyyyyy

 

You're teasing me again

 

I liked the transition. The connection between Mike and Ed seems like it will become a strong supporting cast, and I can see that as a great basis for a sequel

 

Keep up the good work!

 

--Matt

 

 

I promise I am not a tease - really, okay maybe a bit but I am following what I promised from the start, 2 a week til I finish - at least I have been clear from the outset not to expect more than I can or will deliver.

 

Oh and I have no current plans for a sequel - I have a couple other projects I want to work on.

 

Thanks for reading matt, I appreciate it.

 

 

................I seem to now be out of sync with Andy's postings. I did not see 30 come up before seeing 31!!! This an instance were a frat house should be shut down by the actions of their members 1st, Jordan's & company, and then their frat brothers further actions, the college should see this very clearly. The townspeople's reaction did not surprise me at all, I've heard of many that held a bit of resentment toward bratty college kids that get away with a lot of bullshit, because they have been fed silver spooned from birth. I'm a bit surprised that Darryl took Jason's advice and got his brother out of there, but without coming back to defend him? Not like him at all unless the cops were already there on the scene. I'm going to guess that is what happened, once they were out the exit they were met up by the cops. With the testimony by the townsfolk, I'm sure those 3 frat boys are long gone from the program, if not charged. 'Stupid does as stupid is'

 

Great chapter!! Andy, you have a flair to point out the obvious without being obvious.

 

Benji,

 

You make a good point about being tossed off. I would think the incident in the pool would galvanize the University and the National Office of the Fraternity to expel that chapter. Time, space and effort constrain me from going into details for everything that might happen. And, I never thought about that LOL. My sense is that unless Jason pressed charges, this would go no where. Just as how it is, if he isn't feeling threatened or intimidated, it is going to be hard to prove witnesses tampering - attempt maybe but still.

 

As for Darryl, well as close as he and Jason are, he knew what Jason was asking - take care of Dean. And as the time line suggests the police were there fairly quickly.

 

Thanks for your support, you have always been great at helping me with your comments.

 

 

Transitions are important; they make the story feel more real.

 

I bet someone has already said this, but I'm too lazy to read all the posts . . . I could totally see this as a TV series.

 

 

Nope no one said anything about a movie or tv series. Not sure how I would feel about someone corrupting my 'baby' to adapt it to movie/tv formats lol.

 

But thanks for the suggestion

[Sara Alva]

Nope no one said anything about a movie or tv series. Not sure how I would feel about someone corrupting my 'baby' to adapt it to movie/tv formats lol.

 

But thanks for the suggestion

 

Well, of course it would have to be true to the book. I know hollywood isn't exactly known for being great at that . . . I just meant because it's such a saga

[Benji]

.............Well, I don't think Jason needs to do anything, the townspeople already consider Peter to be one of their own. The Chief of Police is understandably angry at the attack, and with this latest incident, I'm sure he will confront the College president himself on the matter. Backed with the testimonies of all those at the pool hall? But enough of that, Amanda's reaction from Dean's 'opps moment' was typically expectant, but you can't live your life in constant fear. Hell you could walk out your door and slip on a piece ice and die from smacking your head on the sidewalk. So although Jason will be be more vigilante in the future of his surroundings, I think he will have more people watching his back. The soccer game should be interesting, I'm going to guess there will be a larger crowd then usual because of Jason's appearance. Hopefully the majority will be good! Great chapter Andy! Look forward to more!!

[mattgtf]

As a fraternity guy, and one that advises his fraternity...

 

Most schools turn a blind eye to Greeks and the actions of a few members...Greek Alums donate, on average 30% more than their non Greek counterparts...Money talks.

 

The National Offices, generally won't get involved unless the University makes it an issue, or there is a major incident (death of a member or at a party/in the house)