Do looks really (not) matter?

[TrevorTime]

I was first attracted to my current boyfriend because I think he's incredibly hot. But now it's all about the personality. If we had nothing in common and he had a crap-astic personality, then I doubt I would still be seeing him.

 

I can't stand men with very very short hair... that is a big turn off to me and I often won't even look at the face underneath, not unless the have amazing eyes or something. I get a real turn on for a man with long hair and that attracts me irrespective of what the rest of him is like.

Wow, I'm the exact opposite. If I'm out in public and I spot a guy with really long hair, he won't even get a 2nd glance from me, no matter how hot he is. But a short haircut (doesn't have to be spiky, just short) will get me to check you out every single time! I often wonder if I am accidentally outing myself when I do that.

I think that looks do count but that they are very subjective. I mean that what attracts one person won't attract another and that's where the 'looks don't matter' comes in.

Yupp, I just proved Nephy's point with my previous statement.

Edited November 15, 2010 by TrevorTime

[methodwriter85]

Wow, I'm the exact opposite. If I'm out in public and I spot a guy with really long hair, he won't even get a 2nd glance from me, no matter how hot he is. But a short haircut (doesn't have to be spiky, just short) will get me to check you out every single time! I often wonder if I am accidentally outing myself when I do that.

 

I'm the same way. I generally can't stand long hair on a guy. It's why I never really got into Josh Holloway or Taylor Kitsch.

 

There are some exceptions, but in general, I like shorter hair on a guy.

[Menorain]

In a word; YES. Looks matter. SO BAD. But I'm not so shallow to not care about personality. As is usually the way in my own life, personality always trumps looks. I'd personally prefer someone to be AMAZING LOOKING and also have a THROBBING PERSONALITY, but that hardly ever occurs among humans.

[TetRefine]

I'm the same way. I generally can't stand long hair on a guy. It's why I never really got into Josh Holloway or Taylor Kitsch.

 

There are some exceptions, but in general, I like shorter hair on a guy.

 

I think it has to be the right guy for them to pull off longer hair. Such as Ryan Sheckler.

 

 

And it also depends on short hair for guys. Some look really good, some look really bad. This guy looks really good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[paya]

In a word; YES. Looks matter. SO BAD. But I'm not so shallow to not care about personality. As is usually the way in my own life, personality always trumps looks. I'd personally prefer someone to be AMAZING LOOKING and also have a THROBBING PERSONALITY, but that hardly ever occurs among humans.

 

Personality. THROBBING. Right. Yeah That really is what matters.

 

 

My point of view... well, everybody here is saying that in general looks matter, mainly because our society is judgmental and the first impressions we get is the looks. Though if you ever had/have a boyfriend, was/is the looks what you look for? I've already seen some answers here. It took me some time to develop but my personal criterion is: "Could you imagine spending the rest of your life with this person? Could you imagine you'd get old side by side with him/her?"

 

And I hadn't stopped until I found a person because of whom I could answer on both questions YES.

 

P.S. Everyone has inside at least a little grain of self-consciousness. During my quest for the love of my life, I happened to find out that GAYS ARE really VERY SHALLOW. I'm not talking about anybody in particular, it's a generalization I got to make on my personal experience. I have never considered myself as handsome nor sexy. Though unlike the shallow ones I've met, I found a man for whom I'm the sexiest person in the world. I think that's a WIN for me

 

 

[phana14]

Sooo what happened to Westie? I thought you guys were, um, 'special'.

 

JK!!

 

That was a loving post, Paya. Hugs!

[Menorain]

Yeah, gays are shallow. A chilling stereotype that, more often than not, rings true.

[TetRefine]

Yeah, gays are shallow. A chilling stereotype that, more often than not, rings true.

 

Yup, especially true with the queen club boy types.

[West Coast Dude]

I agree with this. I mean what first draws you to a person is their looks. And I mean I would want to be with a partner that I am so sexually into that I would never want to cheat on him. I can't wait for him to come home at night, but looks fade with time and in the end it's what you two have together, your personalities. I also believe that it's the little things you do for each other that count. I mean I have met some really nice guys that are not my type physically, but I would give them the chance if they had the same goals/aspirations and had the personality I liked! Well said!

 

 

Well, when we first see someone, we judge them completely by their looks. If they are good looking, do they dress nice, do they look like they take care of themselves, etc. So in that respect, looks do matter. That being said, there are plenty of very hot people here at college who are lots of fun to look at, but I would not want to get to know them or be friends with them because they have shitty personalities. Then there are some people who I'm friends with who got shafted in the looks department, but they have a great personality so I want to be around them.

 

In relationships, I think there needs to be a good degree of sexual attraction to the other person. But obviously a relationship can not survive on sex alone, so the person definitely has to have a good personality. I would much rather be with someone who has a personality over looks instead of the other way around. So I think looks do matter to some degree, but it definitely is not as much as a make or break factor as personality is for me.

[Marzipan]

To me it's the it-factor or the wow-effect that swuups my feet of the ground and generally it has never been about the looks. "My type" lives only in the world of la la-land.

 

In my eyes the person I'm interested or have feelings to becomes the most beautiful and interesting one in the world. I want to lern her/him the best way possible. Even at the ugliest moment that person turns me on. Most important common factors with all my short list of partners have been intellectuality and sweetness and being generally open minded. I'd never date a bitch or a macho idiot no matter how good the looks.

 

Ps. I'm not the Prinsess Di type either.

 

 

 

 

[rknapp]

Yes and no. Looks are important in that intimacy can be compromised. They're also important in that you must look good (ie, clean cut) for things like interviews. If you want people to take you seriously, you must present yourself very well. The difference is you don't necessarily need to be pretty (unless you're interviewing to be a Hooters girl, auditioning to be a model, or whathaveyou).

 

Having said that, the only time looks should be the foundation of a relationship are when you just want a romp in the sack a couple times and end it there. Long term? Sorry, looks are not an accepted measure of a suitable mate. If a guy is hot and shallow, I'm only interested in what's in his pants and his performance in bed. If he's ugly and deep, then I'd be interested in a friendship. If he's cute, thoughtful, good-hearted, etc. (middle ground), then I'd be interested in a loving relationship.

 

Of course, as has been pointed out already, what one person considers hot, another might consider not.

[hh5]

If your blind ... what do you think does matter?

 

I guess you have to rely on the other four senses as well as meeting the person and going out

 

If your a top model ... would you like to be caught dead with a HillBilly

 

I think somewhere its "beauty in the eye of the beholder" or "its beauty that killed the beast"

 

Again would a Show Girl be a great match with King Kong?

or Would a porn star be a great match with Donkey Kong?

 

or was it "looks that can launched a battleship"

 

or was it "something that's worth dying for"

[rknapp]

I think somewhere its "beauty in the eye of the beholder"

 

The premise of my avatar!

[methodwriter85]

I've found time and time again...if the only thing a person has going for them is the fact that they're physically hot, at some point...you're going to get tired of looking at them. I agree with Tet here- I've hung out with people that were physically hot, but had pretty shitty personalities and I lost interest in them. And I've had friends who were ugly as sin, but had great personalities, and I preferred hanging out with them.

[thephoenix]

No matter how politically incorrect it is, companies like to hire if the person is good looking as they would be 'representing' the company. This applies especially to front-line customer service positions.

 

As for relationships, admittedly it's still a factor for me when looking for a potential BF. The personality of course is extremely important, but as far as first impressions go, looks matter.

 

In my opinion, looks do not matter when looking for a platonic friend - that's all personality and approachability (non-threatening) though sometimes someone's appearance is a reflection of their personality.

Edited December 5, 2010 by thephoenix

[Former Member]

They matter to some people more than they do to others.

 

As mentioned by the OP, can be beautiful as sin but if the personality is not there, no, nothing doing for me. But I very well know people who choose to disregard that just to have a "trophy" or the "look" they like to bed.

 

Too many cultures and societies these days focus on appearance and looks, which has spawned the skyrocketing numbers of eating disorders and body dysmorphia, among other things. Also it greatly influences the despair so many people express on finding their "true love" or love of their life. Many continue to look for types, and want this specific feature and so on, whether they fully admit or realize that.

 

Attraction is key for me. Looks are not the same thing. There has to be something which appeals to me about them. Intelligence, objectivity, insight plus a special sparkle which can have nothing to do with appearance whatsoever.

 

Although it might be inferred otherwise, not everyone when they first see someone judges them by their looks.

[Y_B]

I'm not sure if it's mentioned that a large part of appearance is manageable. I'd like an average looking person who at least makes attempts to takes care of himself a bit more than a hottie who's a slob because it speaks something about his attitude right off the bat, and when I look at people, the very first thing I notice is attitude.

[methodwriter85]

Plus, if you think about it- if the hot dude doesn't appear to try at all, it's incredibly likely that when he hits 30 and the body starts to change, he's likely to just let himself go completely.

[Y_B]

Plus, if you think about it- if the hot dude doesn't appear to try at all, it's incredibly likely that when he hits 30 and the body starts to change, he's likely to just let himself go completely.

 

It won't take that long.

 

I give it til 25, or a year or two after he gets out of his last schooling. This doesn't apply to everyone, but most kids look toward, at least in some part, extrinsic reasons to keeping in shape and looking good, and for those who are snobbish they either wouldn't do this at all or the extrinsic aspects would weigh in more. Things like being able to impress the crowd, hooking up with co-eds or just the thrill of being young and kept at physical prime are pretty common thoughts. You take the guy out of that environment, you take away some of his motivation when he's got no-one to impress, esp if he's got a LTR heading into engagement and if he played intramural sports, where's he gonna find something like that as easily outta school?. A 25 year old would halfass what he did at 20, and again, I know this doesn't apply to everyone.

Edited December 7, 2010 by Yang Bang

[Hoskins]

I used to be a bar hound. I'd club at the drop of a hat.

 

I'd walk in and check out the people there, see if I wanted to get to know anyone. It'd go something like this:

 

- I prefer a younger guy to an older guy. So that would eliminate about half the people in the bar from even being looked at. That's + - 5 years of my own age (less when I was younger)

 

- I don't like tall people either. So, another 15 % or so.

- Dark skin? Turn on. Too dark? Turn off. Too light? Bleah. Another 25% gone.

- Heavy? By like, even a few pounds? GTFO.

- HAIRY? G.T.F.O. my god, eww.

- Dancing? I don't dance. So go away.

 

 

By the end of the night, I'd be down to, uh, me. Which was boring, so I'd get mad and leave (nobody said it made sense).

 

When I was 30, a guy moved into the house I was renting and we hit it off as friends. Within a year, we were a couple. He was younger than me by about 6 years, carried a few pounds more than he should have, hairy, and not the sharpest tool in the shed. Funny, funny guy. I had a tiny, tiny physical attraction to him, but not much. It was enough, because I truly wanted to make him happy, and make his eyes roll back in his head. We lasted about 5 years, and are still friends today (I'm his crack whore and he's my Cleveland bitch).

 

Looks are important, but being shallow is even more important, because it will leave you staring at your empty passenger seat on the way home from the bar. It's all in what you want.

[Y_B]

Looks are important, but being shallow is even more important, because it will leave you staring at your empty passenger seat on the way home from the bar. It's all in what you want.

 

Bad Hos, for drinking and driving.

[Hoskins]

Bad Hos, for drinking and driving.

 

Who said I drank at the bar? That's for amateurs.

 

Also, it was seventeen years ago.

Edited December 7, 2010 by Hoskins

[Y_B]

Who said I drank at the bar? That's for amateurs.

 

Also, it was seventeen years ago.

 

drankin' and drovin' then.

 

(no one brought you a drink?)

[Hoskins]

drankin' and drovin' then.

 

(no one brought you a drink?)

 

Sure they bought drinks. The legal limit was 1.0, and that's 2 or 3 drinks. Why go nuts?

[Y_B]

Sure they bought drinks. The legal limit was 1.0, and that's 2 or 3 drinks. Why go nuts?

 

 

So that people would slowly start to shrink, lose weight, their skins darken, hair disappear and dancing lookin' a lot funner than when you walked in.