Do looks really (not) matter?

[Former Member]

People often say that it's a person's personality that matters and that looks are/should be unimportant. But is that really true? Can we really look past a person's appearance?

 

So here's the question: do looks matter even the slightest bit?

 

 

Personally, I'd have to say yes. Although it's never all about looks. A guy/girl can be beautiful, but if she's a bitch or if he thinks he is all that because he so happens to look good, then I walk far away from them.

[TetRefine]

Well, when we first see someone, we judge them completely by their looks. If they are good looking, do they dress nice, do they look like they take care of themselves, etc. So in that respect, looks do matter. That being said, there are plenty of very hot people here at college who are lots of fun to look at, but I would not want to get to know them or be friends with them because they have shitty personalities. Then there are some people who I'm friends with who got shafted in the looks department, but they have a great personality so I want to be around them.

 

In relationships, I think there needs to be a good degree of sexual attraction to the other person. But obviously a relationship can not survive on sex alone, so the person definitely has to have a good personality. I would much rather be with someone who has a personality over looks instead of the other way around. So I think looks do matter to some degree, but it definitely is not as much as a make or break factor as personality is for me.

[Former Member]

I would much rather be with someone who has a personality over looks instead of the other way around.

 

I completely agree!

[DragonMando]

it's mostly not looks, but yeah, there's that little seed of vanity in everyone, myself included. Even though most of the people I've dated are far from stunning, I could never be with someone who had a lack of hygiene and looked like a mountain man from before the Gold Rush. Clean, pretty eyes, a nice laugh, and a star personality is about all I need, but I'll go for drop dead handsome in a heartbeat if he's a good guy.

[thatboyChase]

spam

[thatboyChase]

Well, when we first see someone, we judge them completely by their looks. If they are good looking, do they dress nice, do they look like they take care of themselves, etc. So in that respect, looks do matter. That being said, there are plenty of very hot people here at college who are lots of fun to look at, but I would not want to get to know them or be friends with them because they have shitty personalities. Then there are some people who I'm friends with who got shafted in the looks department, but they have a great personality so I want to be around them.

 

In relationships, I think there needs to be a good degree of sexual attraction to the other person. But obviously a relationship can not survive on sex alone, so the person definitely has to have a good personality. I would much rather be with someone who has a personality over looks instead of the other way around. So I think looks do matter to some degree, but it definitely is not as much as a make or break factor as personality is for me.

 

^

 

bold was my favorite word of your post

[Nephylim]

Well, if looks are that important I'm shafted so I have to vote no.

 

Okay, I have nice eyes but the rest of me... not so much... well in fact too much

[Y_B]

It matters.

 

And I don't mean that in a only-hot-people-matter kinda way, but it does, and in almost every area of your life, to some degree, and it's at the point where it's almost irrelevant how much it matters to me because I'm subject to the general perspective of society, and to society, it matters. You could argue that's the problem, but I don't think it is so much a problem as just a phenomenon. Nobody would 'choose' to be unattractive.

 

If I'm right, good looking people statistically hold better, and higher positioned jobs, have more friends and hold their chins up a little higher. People have a natural prejudice that right from the start, or even in general, makes you have more interest in a good looker person than an average looking or unattractive one. It does't hold true across the board and at some point, people's personalities shine them through, but in our world, I don't think people know each other well enough for that personality attraction to really take a firm stand to overcome the 'good-looks' prejudice.

 

Relationship wise, for me, good looks are cool and fun to look at, and attracts me, but personality keeps me interested. My experiences have always been that I get pretty interested in a good looking guy at first as a friend, potential date or what not, but if that person is boring or has a shitty personality, I lose interest in their looks and slowly they aren't even good looking anymore. So bottom line is that you'll have a much easier time being seen with good looks but unless you have something substantial to back it up, people will look elsewhere.

Edited November 11, 2010 by Yang Bang

[JamesSavik]

People often say that it's a person's personality that matters and that looks are/should be unimportant.

 

 

That's one of the larger piles of dung that you will ever have the misfortune of stepping in.

 

Physical appearance and attractiveness are key determinates in how well and how far a person will go in life.

 

It determines who gets hired, who gets the spot on the team and even who has the tools for leadership.

 

Everything else about how looks don't matter is politically correct horse shit.

[warrior]

It depends from person to person. Not sure if everyone would see it the same way. I think it is easier to say ["look doesn't matter"] than follow it. Most of us want the package to be good even though we know that it is the product within that package that we seek. And frankly, there is nothing wrong or shallow about it. But yes, a long term relationship should be based on more than just physical attraction. But at the same time, there should be some sort of attraction between the couples too.

 

Personally speaking - and I will be blunt here - look does matter to me, but it's not a huge deal. If I like a person, then I like him/her irrespective of how he/she is.

[Tipdin]

Looks matter. However, (hopefully) intelligent people will not settle for someone with looks, alone. Besides, looks fade FAR sooner and faster than intelligence.

 

We (as a society) teach our children to be be shallow and superficial, so beauty matters more than it should. It's silly, isn't it? Beauty is, rightfully, in the eye of the beholder, yet we're always trying to make "THE" look that is the one and only way to be perceived as beautiful by everyone.

 

We need to start teaching our children that they are inherently beautiful - and that beauty has very little to do with the way one looks. We emphasize looks when we should be emphasizing attitude.

[VickyS]

That's one of the larger piles of dung that you will ever have the misfortune of stepping in.

 

Physical appearance and attractiveness are key determinates in how well and how far a person will go in life.

 

It determines who gets hired, who gets the spot on the team and even who has the tools for leadership.

 

Everything else about how looks don't matter is politically correct horse shit.

 

Couldnt it be argued that the opposite of that is also the same. ?? Think about it.

 

I mean I really dont want to put forward any opinion, as to "whether looks matter or not". Because to me, thats just a silly meaningless question.There is no GOOD AIM whatsoever, in asking that question. I mean what good can come off it anyway. Its either the people who are disgruntled with their looks and how people treat them. Or its about people who like to show off that they dont go for looks.

[Former Member]

I would say that looks are important. Not because I'm shallow but your less likely to get involved romantically with someone who you don't find attractive. BESIDES! Good looks are subjective to everyone, my tastes are pretty average tradie type of guys, whereas someone might prefer a sculpted body etc etc Looks aren't the MOST important factor but c'mon... you have to have some form of physical attraction before anything else... at least that's where I sit on the looks vs personality fence.

[Fishwings]

So bottom line is that you'll have a much easier time being seen with good looks but unless you have something substantial to back it up, people will look elsewhere.

 

 

Well put : ) I completely agree

[Former Member]

Couldnt it be argued that the opposite of that is also the same. ?? Think about it.

 

I mean I really dont want to put forward any opinion, as to "whether looks matter or not". Because to me, thats just a silly meaningless question.There is no GOOD AIM whatsoever, in asking that question. I mean what good can come off it anyway. Its either the people who are disgruntled with their looks and how people treat them. Or its about people who like to show off that they dont go for looks.

 

The reason I ask this question is because I'm curious about what other people think about this subject. By no means do I want other people to feel bad because I asked this question. It's just curiosity.

[VickyS]

The reason I ask this question is because I'm curious about what other people think about this subject. By no means do I want other people to feel bad because I asked this question. It's just curiosity.

Yes Robyn, And I certainly dont feel bad about you asking this question, if thats what you meant. Its just that I dont know what the point is.

 

Will it help you in any way, to know what preference people have? will it make you feel better about yourself?

[Former Member]

Yes Robyn, And I certainly dont feel bad about you asking this question, if thats what you meant. Its just that I dont know what the point is.

 

Will it help you in any way, to know what preference people have? will it make you feel better about yourself?

 

No, certainly not! I feel good about myself no matter what. I'm happy with the way I am and the way I look, and if other people tell me otherwise, I ignore them. So no, it doesn't make me feel better, or worse, about myself.

 

It's just that there's this saying that looks don't matter and that personality is the really important thing. Now, I for one think that the idea is nice, but that this doesn't work in real life. People have preferences, that's something that won't ever change, but by no means do I mean to say that "ugly" people can't have people who love them! If I say thatI look good, then that's an opinion, not a fact. It's what I think, and others are allowed to disagree with me. If you judge someone, be it based on their looks or their personality or anything else, then whether your judgement is positive or negative, it's just an opinion.

 

So do looks matter? Well, yes, but someone that I think is attractive can be found to be unattractive by someone else.

I asked the question to satisfy my own curiosity, not because I want to make a point, if there is one.

[Y_B]

Its either the people who are disgruntled with their looks and how people treat them. Or its about people who like to show off that they dont go for looks.

 

I'm neither of the two, thanks.

 

= )

 

 

 

[VickyS]

No, certainly not! I feel good about myself no matter what. I'm happy with the way I am and the way I look, and if other people tell me otherwise, I ignore them. So no, it doesn't make me feel better, or worse, about myself.

 

It's just that there's this saying that looks don't matter and that personality is the really important thing. Now, I for one think that the idea is nice, but that this doesn't work in real life. People have preferences, that's something that won't ever change, but by no means do I mean to say that "ugly" people can't have people who love them! If I say thatI look good, then that's an opinion, not a fact. It's what I think, and others are allowed to disagree with me. If you judge someone, be it based on their looks or their personality or anything else, then whether your judgement is positive or negative, it's just an opinion.

 

So do looks matter? Well, yes, but someone that I think is attractive can be found to be unattractive by someone else.

I asked the question to satisfy my own curiosity, not because I want to make a point, if there is one.

Honestly i dont get why "I" wud create a topic, without any real prupose. But then thats my way of thinking, and if you wish to ask a question purely to satisfy your curiosity, I have no rights to question your question. And trust me that was never my intention.

 

I'm neither of the two, thanks.

 

= )

 

 

 

Well, you didnt ask the question in the first place

 

Thanks

[phana14]

Robyn,

Thank you for your question.

My answer would have to be y/n.

Yes because some of us see beauty as a physical entity ( a toad cannot be as beautiful as a small child playing and laughing).

No because the majority of the population of this planet doesn't fall under the above description of 'beauty' as I have described it.

 

There is beauty in the physical appearance of a person and there can be a beauty far exceeding that in the personality of that person. And standing right alongside the *pretty* person, is the average 'other person'

.

Some of the ones who aren't considered quite so 'pretty' are in fact exactly what someone else wants (or has been looking for).

Some people think that they don't warrant another look from someone. THEY ARE WRONG! There is always someone out there looking. And maybe today/tonight the person looking finds a 'rose'!

 

Thank you for that question, Robyn.

My personal feeling on this subject--beyond the above?--is that there is someone out there for each of us. It's up to us to 'see' their looks, and then decide if it really matters-- or not--to us.

Hugs.

[Westie]

Well.... i think it totally depends....

 

You see - when i first met my BF, it was online.

[Former Member]

Well.... i think it totally depends....

 

You see - when i first met my BF, it was online. and we developed a relationship that was based on personalities and mutual interest.

 

Later, when we met, we were already in love. Would that have happened if we had met face to face? I really dont know - but I will tell you this. To me he is the most beautiful person in the world.

 

 

 

Aaaw, that sounds so sweet ^^

 

But you're absolutely right when you say it depends.

[phana14]

Well.... i think it totally depends....

 

You see - when i first met my BF, it was online. and we developed a relationship that was based on personalities and mutual interest.

 

Later, when we met, we were already in love. Would that have happened if we had met face to face? I really dont know - but I will tell you this. To me he is the most beautiful person in the world.

 

 

 

BIG HUGS to you and Paya, Westie!

A 'feeling' is way more important than a 'look'!

[Nephylim]

I think that looks do count but that they are very subjective. I mean that what attracts one person won't attract another and that's where the 'looks don't matter' comes in. You go for someone who attracts you... becuase they have pretty eyes or nice hair or a beautiful smile... but that doesn't necessarily have to be obectivel beautiful. I mean who would sleep with someone they found physically repulsive? But what is repulsive to one person is a real turn on to others. For example I HATE body builders. I think the are gross and that kind of huge muscle is a complete and utter turn of. However, to a lot of peolple they are physically perfect and desirable. I can't stand men with very very short hair... that is a big turn off to me and I often won't even look at the face underneath, not unless the have amazing eyes or something. I get a real turn on for a man with long hair and that attracts me irrespective of what the rest of him is like. Of course once you have the intial attraction then there has to be an emotional and spiritual attraction/connection or no matter what they look like the relationship doesn't work.

 

In short I think looks do count but not necessarily in the way the questions seems to imply. Beauty is important but the way that people view beauty is very subjective and even though you might think you look like a dog there are most certainly people out there who go for shiny coats and cold noses.

[DragonFire]

Looks, whatever people may say DO matter. A guy could have an amazing personality, which is fine, but if he has a face like a back end of a bus, ain't happening. That said, we're all different, who I find gorgeous maybe someone else's Munster! lol

 

For any relationship to work there has to be at least some physical attraction, otherwise it's doomed from the start. Shallow I know but I firmly believe it's typical of human nature. Looks, smell, personality all attract us to a mate, it's how we're built, to deny that we do those things, even subconsciously, is naive.