How can u attract a straight guy and make him fall for you?

[Guest dancuteme]

How can u attract a straight guy and make him fall for you?

 

I just had a friend, he's straight and i like him so much

I think I'm falling for him

[Nephylim]

Well... You can't MAKE anyone fall in love with you.

 

Also you can't make someone change their sexual orientation for you.

 

BUT... you are the only one who knows your friend. If you are getting vibes from him go with it. Keep it as friends and spend as much time together as possible and see how it goes.

 

Don't push it. That isn't a good idea whatever your orientation is. Let things unfold naturally and see where you go

[Cia]

I am pretty sure we saw this topic before. You can't MAKE him fall in love with you, straight or not. IF your friend is straight, maybe he's just curious. If he's not... well you have to put yourself out there. You are taking a risk at getting shot down but that's what happens in life. But in NO way can you make a person who isn't interested in one sex, be they gay or straight, fall in love or want to be intimate or happy with the wrong gender for them.

[Camilo]

Be a girl and be his type.

[Wulfenite]

If he fell for you, he wouldn't be straight

[Krista]

Hmm.. yeah, sexual orientations can't be switched on and off. If the guy is straight, but curious in fooling around, you're still setting yourself up to be shot down if you're wanting to move on to a more serious relationship. You can be his friend and should be his friend first. Feelings come and go, but if you were to try and force things you can lose his friendship.

[Marzipan]

Can anyone answer me, how can I attract a gay guy and make him fall for me without growing balls and cutting away my boobs?

 

Trust me. If it isn't already there it will not magically appear later either. Then again, there are people like me who balance in between and fall for a person instead of gender.

[Dannsar]

Dan, you could try hypnotism, or brainwashing, or knocking him on the head, or keeping him drugged forever, or blackmailing him, or paying him, or ... or ... or, well nothing really.You know as well as the rest of us that if you did any of the above, he'd hate you.

 

 

I think you knew the answer to this before you asked it, and it's really only a rhetorical sigh of a post?

 

The fact is, if he's your friend, then he already loves you, just not in the way you might want. Remember, he might get together with you for a bit of fun and exploration. But if he's not really our way inclined, then you're gonna be upset in the end. I am assuming he knows about your orientation already? And if he does, and he's also 17, then it's a fairly safe bet he'll have given you the signals already if he's interested. Just the same as you will have given them to him if you think there's a possibility. You're 17yo males FFS!!

 

Here's the most useless bit of advice anybody can give you ... get over it. It is also the most useful piece of advice, and the most difficult one to be able to enact. But at the end of the day, that is what you are going to have to do. It's hell. And yeah, I'm 44, but I only got there by taking the route via 17, you know! Honestly, if you knew the pain us olds have endured over unfulfilled crushes ... oh enough already

 

For the sake of your relationship with him in the future, you need to be careful. It is far better to have a very good friend you can still see and talk to, than an alienated one who is frightened to come near you because he knows the difficulties it poses for you, and the awkwardness it causes for him.

 

There's another way to look at that. I am sure you have some close friends that you just would not want to get naked with. I have a really good friend, and someone else suggested it to us once. We were both nearly sick on the spot. It's quite possible that, even if he was prone to a bit of exploration, that you'd be the last person on earth he'd do it with. And I have to tell you ... cherish that. That's someone who wants you for what's on the inside and what he can give to you in life generally, rather than someone who wants to get more intimate with all that entails.

 

I had a really really really bad crush on a guy when I was about 23 or 24. I wasn't out then. God almighty, was he nice about it, but I didn't take the hint nearly fast enough, now that I look back. Sometimes you just have to face up to the reality of the situation. Like Cia, I think, said ... you ca give the signals, but if they're ignored, display some good judgement, and try to get over it. Good luck!

[MikeL]

A straight guy can fall in love with a gay man. It's very rare, but it has happened. I think the attraction was to the person for reasons other than his gender, obviously.

 

My best advice is to remember that a long term friendship is worth more than a lost friendship. Don't expect him to become something he is not.

[JamesSavik]

This says it better than I ever could...

 

 

Dude... the best you can hope for is to be the lab rat in a str8 guys experiment.

 

Just say NO to str8 guys.

[Y_B]

Alcohooooollllll

[Jwolf]

Alcohooooollllll

 

^^This.

[Mark Arbour]

Here's what I don't get. Ask a gay guy why he's gay and not straight, and he'll probably get pissed off. He'll probably tell you that he didn't necessarily want to be gay, that's just the way he is, the way he's wired. Cool. Got that.

 

So how come when a guy is straight, gay guys think that's negotiable?

[TetRefine]

So how come when a guy is straight, gay guys think that's negotiable?

 

Too many Nifty stories and porn sites make it out to seem like every straight guy secretly yearns to get poked up the butt.

 

Alcohooooollllll

 

LOLZ.

[JamesSavik]

Well... it's gets pretty confusing sometimes.

 

You go to all the trouble of being out and honest and there are tons of self-proclaimed "str8" guys trying to climb your frame.

 

I never knew str8 guys are such sluts.

 

"..but it's an experiment."

 

"No dude- the first six hundred times were an experiment."

 

 

[Conner]

Mark, the question you pose is really an over generalization and not helpful.

[TetRefine]

Mark, the question you pose is really an over generalization and not helpful.

 

No, he's right. The fact is, lusting after a straight guy is a waste of time and trying to turn him gay will just end bad...very bad. This question gets posed at least several times a year on GA and every time the answer is the same: forget about him and move on. Theres no point in chasing after something that you can never have.

[NaperVic]

You should serve the best, premium milkshake in your yard. You'll get all the boys that way.

[Jwolf]

No, he's right. The fact is, lusting after a straight guy is a waste of time and trying to turn him gay will just end bad...very bad. This question gets posed at least several times a year on GA and every time the answer is the same: forget about him and move on. Theres no point in chasing after something that you can never have.

 

I have to disagree on my own pure experience. Call it dumb luck, or what have you, but one of my longer, more stable relationships (and best sex ever) was with a guy who was "straight" when our friendship began. It took a few months of me openly crushing on him before anything materialized, but when it finally did, it was awesome. Whether he was just deep in the closet or just into me as an exception to his rule, I'll never really know, but hey... we porked, it worked out, and I filed it away under awesome experiences. Nothing is impossible!

[Conner]

You should serve the best, premium milkshake in your yard. You'll get all the boys that way.

 

For one on one action, though, I understand a steak and a blow job can be very effective.

[Abersloth]

Here's what I don't get. Ask a gay guy why he's gay and not straight, and he'll probably get pissed off. He'll probably tell you that he didn't necessarily want to be gay, that's just the way he is, the way he's wired. Cool. Got that.

 

So how come when a guy is straight, gay guys think that's negotiable?

 

Straight is generally an assumption. If someone has not declared either way, they are taken to be straight. And, if you have any faith in Alfred Kinsey's studies on human sexuality, you'll take in to consideration that the number of non-zeroes* in the population dwarfs the number of openly gay/bisexual/whatever men/women/whatevers (sorry for the abridgement, too many combinations thereof to list).

 

The question, as I see it, is not whether or not a gay man can seduce a straight man, but whether or not the straight man is really straight.

 

It follows, then, that it doesn't matter so much what you believe his orientation to be, or rather, what he wants you to believe is his orientation, but whether or not he has ever expressed any interest in you. There are limited outcomes, and I'll spell them out, in what I would consider to be descending order of probability:

 

a) He isn't interested in men and never will be, in which case for his sake and your own, you should get over any infatuation and stick to "just friends," which sucks, but is the right thing to do.

b] He is curious enough to fool around a few times, in which case you may find yourself becoming emotionally attached and will ultimately succumb to the bitter pangs of disappointment and lust-hurt. If you're only interested in a fling, that's not really such a horrible thing, but you do have to be very careful to not hurt him or hurt yourself.

c) He is closeted gay/bisexual/whatever and isn't ready to share it with you or others at this point, in which case you should respect his choice to remain closeted until he is ready. See a).

d) He is closeted gay/bisexual/whatever and is ready to share it with others, but isn't interested in you for other reasons, in which case you should, as before, try to be a good friend but nothing more, unless...

e) He is closeted gay/bisexual/whatever and is ready to share it with others, but doesn't know that you're interested in him. Or perhaps, he isn't interested yet, but will be in the future, in which case all you can do is be his friend, and let time pass.

 

Those are the options as I see it. Unfortunately, in real life there is no +2 potion of straight-man seduction. In any case, all you can do is be a good friend, try to move on, and see if your paths cross in the future.

 

However, as far as I can tell, nobody has really answered the question posed in the opening post, so here's my response: Be a good friend and drop subtle hints, but don't be pushy or overly affectionate or you'll drive him away, ruining a good friendship. You have to be sensitive about it. If he really could have feelings for you and he has chosen to not express that notion, there's a reason. Sexuality is a complicated, sensitive issue with many facets. Think with your brain and your heart, not your penis.

 

*The Kinsey scale ranks degrees of sexual preference from 0 to 6, with 0 being exclusively heterosexual and 6 being exclusively homosexual, with 1-5 being varying degrees of bisexuality. The degree "x" is used for asexuality.

[TetRefine]

I have to disagree on my own pure experience. Call it dumb luck, or what have you, but one of my longer, more stable relationships (and best sex ever) was with a guy who was "straight" when our friendship began. It took a few months of me openly crushing on him before anything materialized, but when it finally did, it was awesome. Whether he was just deep in the closet or just into me as an exception to his rule, I'll never really know, but hey... we porked, it worked out, and I filed it away under awesome experiences. Nothing is impossible!

 

Well, you either got extremely lucky or someone who was deeply in denial or the closet. I tend to lean towards the latter, but like you said, who knows. But I think its good to stick to the rule that its nothing but a waste of time and emotion to chase after a straight guy. The Nifty stories contribute to the delusion that a straight guy falling for the gay boy is much more common then it actually is in reality.

[Cyhort]

The Nifty stories contribute to the delusion that a straight guy falling for the gay boy is much more common then it actually is in reality.

 

To be fair to the Nifty stories most of those "straight" guys end up being deeply in the closet or in denial anyway. A better question for this topic would be how do you find out if a guy really is straight or just in extreme denial about his gay or bi-ness.

[methodwriter85]

I call the idea that straight men will fall for you the "Nifty's Gay Man's Cinderella Effect".

 

It CAN happen, like Matt falling in love with Andy in Cross-Currents and Brian falling for Sam in It Started With Brian, but it takes a long, great love for that to happen, and I wouldn't get your hopes up. The more realistic situation is with happened with Andy and his friend Trey in Cross-Currents- Trey admitted that sex with him was only really enjoyable because he was closing his eyes and picturing girls, and that in the end he'd never feel the same way.

 

And JWolf, I get what you're saying...but it wasn't a long-term relationship, was it? It's not like you guys got settled down to marry or anything like that. Does he still consider himself straight or has he come out as bi or gay? Kinda curious.

[Jwolf]

And JWolf, I get what you're saying...but it wasn't a long-term relationship, was it? It's not like you guys got settled down to marry or anything like that. Does he still consider himself straight or has he come out as bi or gay? Kinda curious.

 

The details fall firmly into the 'Nifty Cinderella Effect' I feel like. In fact, I've toyed with the idea of writing my first ever purely biographical novel (as well as I can remember the details, of course). Basically, we were friends for almost a year and I had a massive crush on him, not helped by the fact that our friendship was pretty flirtatious despite his assurance that he was, indeed, straight. Eventually, as these stories go, we got drunk and hooked up. And then we did it again. And then it kept happening for about eight months. I wouldn't call that a super long relationship, but there was definitely something there. I'm not exactly sure if he considers himself straight or bi gay these days, but I do know that whatever we did opened something up for him and he did hook up with other guys after.

 

I'm not saying that snagging yourself a 'unicorn' as I like to call them is common or even realistic, but it does happen. Sometimes.