Depression

[ashessnow]

I was going to post the same thing, in case it hadn't. Part One is also very good. The full story is that the writer wrote part one and then disappeared for a year and a half. Considering her last post was about depression most people figured that was the reason for her absence. And her first update in a long time was yesterday, and first comic was today, which is cool.

 

I highly recommend it to everyone.

 

As always things with me are...okay. Not good. Not bad, just...meh.

[Mark92]

Hi and welcome Thorne Wilde Welcome back Ashes good to see you around

I'm hardly here these days, but it is so good to see this still going strong

That is a really good story, I haven't seen anything like that before, and it's all very true, Until I started studying, one day would melt into the next and I didn't know or care what actual day it was. But, through studying, I have something to do every day, my head is full of what I am learning. I don't have the time to feel down as much as I used to. And every single day I have a fresh days studying to look forward to and I am loving every minute. With my baby everyday too

 

Be happy people and hugs all round

[Breeze]

Hi and welcome Thorne Wilde Welcome back Ashes good to see you around

I'm hardly here these days, but it is so good to see this still going strong

That is a really good story, I haven't seen anything like that before, and it's all very true, Until I started studying, one day would melt into the next and I didn't know or care what actual day it was. But, through studying, I have something to do every day, my head is full of what I am learning. I don't have the time to feel down as much as I used to. And every single day I have a fresh days studying to look forward to and I am loving every minute. With my baby everyday too

 

Be happy people and hugs all round

 Hi Mark, Its great to hear to your doing well.  to you and Stuby

[Bumblebee]

I don't really know how to word this so it's kinda all over the place.

 

I'm still a bit shaken about driving (or being anywhere near a car) since someone was an idiot on the road and ran into me and wrote off mums car.

It gives me a mild anxiety attack every time I have to take myself to work.

 

It been just over 5 months but I still miss Karl, it makes me feel rather stupid that I'm still so badly affected by it.

Even though I've been talking and having a great time with an old friend who recently got back in touch. It makes me feel horrible that I want just one more phone call from Karl.

It seems like I'm on this loop of me thinking I'm finally over it, and then I wake up crying and everything comes flooding back.

 

I've only cut twice in the last month, so I'm ok about that. Even if I want to, I take a deep breath and if I have to then I will cut, but I haven't had to in about a week.

But I've realised that I cut when I over think about Karl and don't want to cry.

[Thorn Wilde]

I've replaced cutting with biting my arm. Hard to break the skin, but makes nice marks for a little while and hurts a bitch. Somehow feels more constructive and less permanent than the cutting...

[Mark92]

First of all thanks Breeze, me and Stuby are both very busy me with courses, and him with exams he's done 7 of 8 poor man, very stressful but we have night times to cuddle up via Skype

 

Hi Bee, I just want to say, like anyone else would, that it takes time, and yeah you probably already know that. As for the car, nobody will blame you for feeling like you do, it must have been scary, I guess its's like when you fall of a horse all you can do is get back on it asap. Glad you're cutting yourself less, that is a good thing, I've stopped my self-harm thing altogether.

 

Hi again Thorn We all have our own ways of dealing with stuff, I had a very different way of self-harm, but I no longer do it. I have too much else to do. Hope things improve for you

 

Hugs all round as always

[layla]

So not a good weekend. My daughters bunny had babies unexpectedly earlier in the week (we just got her this past weekend, didn't know she was pregnant) and saturday my roomies and i came home from taking the kids bowling and one had died. By the end of the night, they were all dead, we're not sure what triggered it but just one right after the other we were pulling them out of the cage and having to bury them. Obviously my daughter was pretty upset, but has lavished all of her attention on the mama bunny and her other pets. Me on the other hand, i'm still crying over the baby bunnies two days later.Or at least, that's what's kicked off this latest bout of drop of the hat tears. 

 

I've always been closer to my pets and nay animal really than I am to most people. Hell, i can fully admit that people very rarely have the means to bring me to tears but seeing an animal hurt, or dead, will have me tearing up in an instant. I hate crying, trying to stop is just giving me a headache though and i hate those more. it pisses me off that those little bunnies had to be born just to die so absolutly pointlessly, like what was the point of it all. I never understood those things as a child and i don't understand them as an adult and I hate having to sit there and hug my daughter and try to assure her that there was nothing that could be done yet when i stuggle to see why it had to happen in the first place.

 

Sorry if this is rambling and makes no sense, i just, im sitting her by myself and still so very upset over the whole damn thing that each time i try not to think about it,it just makes me feell worse.

[joann414]

I'm sorry for you and the little one.  I can't stand to even run over an animal in the road no matter what it is.  My dog can make me cry when I am packing to go somewhere.  She will take my clothes out of my suitcase with her mouth or lay down in the suitcase.  It breaks my heart to leave her.  Don't be ashamed to admit emotion.  We all have different triggers for our tears.

Edited May 20, 2013 by joann414

[Mark92]

So sorry Layla, I get more emotional about animals too, they are all I had as friends growing up. Rabbits are notoriously nervous about anything and stress is the biggest factor, if mummy rabbit was young, maybe she didn't have the mummy instinct? That happened to my cat just recently, she gave birth without a clue what to do, and not everything is just instinct, she needed me to show her some things too. So don't blame yourself it might have happened anyway, giving mum a better home than the one she had is a much better focus. Also, have you considered having her spayed? its worth it in the long run, and if you do want more, go to your local rescue centre they are always overun with them and many other animals too. Hugs to the little one too its a lesson in life and every life lesson helps.

 

Hey Jo Missing you

 

Hugs all round

[joann414]

HI Marky  "waves and blows a kiss".  I love you this big.  "spreads arms as wide as possible"

[Mark92]

I love you too Jo this much .........................................................   

Hope you liked your card

[comicfan]

Hi All,

 

Just sort of stopping by to wish everyone well. Life continues and I keep on keeping on. to any who need.

 

Wayne

[layla]

So sorry Layla, I get more emotional about animals too, they are all I had as friends growing up. Rabbits are notoriously nervous about anything and stress is the biggest factor, if mummy rabbit was young, maybe she didn't have the mummy instinct? That happened to my cat just recently, she gave birth without a clue what to do, and not everything is just instinct, she needed me to show her some things too. So don't blame yourself it might have happened anyway, giving mum a better home than the one she had is a much better focus. Also, have you considered having her spayed? its worth it in the long run, and if you do want more, go to your local rescue centre they are always overun with them and many other animals too. Hugs to the little one too its a lesson in life and every life lesson helps.

 

Hey Jo Missing you

 

Hugs all round

 

 

Thanks Mark She is a young bunny, small too, which is why we never expected when we purchased her that she was pregnant. We're taking our male in tomorrow to be neutered, we'd pulled him out of the cage when she had the babies, so he's been kept away from her and will be until she's healed. I'd read that it was important to fix the male first or he'd harass her endlessly so in to the vet he goes. We'd intended her as a companion for our male so now they'll be able to live  happily together once he heals up. I was really proud of my daughter, she's been extra attentive to smore (the little bunny) she said she didn't want her to be sad about losing her babies. i just had to hug and kiss her for being so thoughtful.

[thaddeus2]

Here's hoping that things are improving for everyone. You're all special people to me!

[Mark92]

Good to hear Layla

Kids bring out some pearls sometimes. Lukey's girls (age 9 and 10) said to me "why can't you love a man? People are so silly sometimes" maybe a few grown ups, well more than a few, could learn that.

 

Hey Thaddeus Thanks for stopping by.

I'm all out of likes folks, catch ya next time

 

Hugs all round

[CassieQ]

There hasn't been an activity on here in a long time, I'm hoping that is a good sign.  

[emmanuelglover]

I guess, seeing this thread dead, is also depressing for someone. Dude, why don't you just start a new thread? I mean, what is the point in replying on a 7 years old thread. I don't really think that people would appreciate that. And in the case you really suffer of depression, trust me, this is not the best forum for this kind of discussions. I also suffered of depression a couple of times. To be honest, this is the state when you are the most powerless, and having no joy for life. The only great solution i found, actually working solution, was weed. I used to order a lot of weed from UrbanAroma.com during those times. I consider that depression is the worst state you might have.

Edited November 13, 2020 by emmanuelglover

[Ron]

I'm guessing this thread is somewhat akin to actual depression. With help depression might disappear for good, or for a time, but it all too often returns. So who cares if someone resurrects a old thread when depression is such a dangerous condition.

[W_L]

41 minutes ago, Ron said:

I'm guessing this thread is somewhat akin to actual depression. With help depression might disappear for good, or for a time, but it all too often returns. So who cares if someone resurrects a old thread when depression is such a dangerous condition.

Agree, and after so many years and life experiences, including an ex-boyfriend and finding myself in need to re-evaluate life, I've learned Depression is one of those things that people who suffer from it do not just get over it. It's part of you and it's like a shadow, sometimes covering you in self-doubt and anger, other times receding to be a foregone memory of darker times.

For me, self doubt and anger go hand in hand with Depression; others it might be different.

Additionally, I think Depression has sadly become part of many people's daily lives in the midst of social isolation created by COVID-19. People should express their emotions freely and openly without fear.

Also for coping ideas, again for me, to avoid feeling down about the forced imprisonment at home, I took to diet/exercise and lost 60 pounds or 27 kilograms in the last 7 months. Tracking my calories, my exercise output, and watching my weight daily kept me focused on a goal and kept my focus away from feeling alone.

 

Edited November 10, 2020 by W_L

[N K]

Sorry for reviving this thread. Thought others would want to add something to it. And while we're on it, what do you guys think about CBD for depression?

[J.L]

I wanted to share my experience with anxiety and how CBD has been helping me.

For a while, I was struggling to manage my depression, and after trying different methods, I decided to give CBD a try. Got a subscription to Releaf, a medical cannabis clinic, and after using it, I saw how it was calming my mind and reducing the intensity of my anxious thoughts. It's been a positive addition to my routine, that's for sure.

[J.L]

On 8/21/2024 at 4:08 AM, J.L said:

I wanted to share my experience with anxiety and how CBD has been helping me.

For a while, I was struggling to manage my depression, and after trying different methods, I decided to give CBD a try. Got a subscription to Releaf, a medical cannabis clinic, and after using it, I saw how it was calming my mind and reducing the intensity of my anxious thoughts. It's been a positive addition to my routine, that's for sure.

Here's the Releaf's page on medical cannabis for depression, if anyone is interested in it.

[LJCC]

On 8/21/2024 at 6:08 PM, J.L said:

I wanted to share my experience with anxiety and how CBD has been helping me.

For a while, I was struggling to manage my depression, and after trying different methods, I decided to give CBD a try. Got a subscription to Releaf, a medical cannabis clinic, and after using it, I saw how it was calming my mind and reducing the intensity of my anxious thoughts. It's been a positive addition to my routine, that's for sure.

CBD has been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration as a drug for the treatment of drug-resistant epilepsy, suggesting that the compound has a satisfactory long-term safety profile for this neurological condition.

Yes, it's effective. But you have to be aware of what kind of mental problem you specifically have where you'd still want to discuss it with a professional.

Most licensed therapists will provide prescriptions for it.

[Jason Rimbaud]

Before you read what I'm sure is going to be rather lengthy, I am commenting from the perspective of a spouse of one who struggles with anxiety and depression. And life has been a difficult these last few weeks and I need to vent a bit for my own mental health. 

I have not read many of the comments, I stopped after four pages, so I'm not sure if anyone commented from the perspective of a spouse. I read enough comments from 2011 and it's amazing actually how much our understanding of depression has evolved over the course of twelve years. 

From people hinting that it's all pity party, or woe is me, behavior, to having a real understanding that it is a mental disorder and nothing to be ashamed of. 

But I used to be like many people who thought "depression" wasn't real. I have never been depressed and I didn't understand how someone could feel that way. I wake up every morning, jump out of bed, immediately start singing some stupid song I made up as I shower and get ready for the day. How could someone not feel uber optimistic like I do? 

Then I met my husband, who managed to hide his anxiety and depression until after I was madly in love with him. Since I never had depression or been around anyone with depression, I didn't recognize any of the signs that  I was dealing with a person prone to anxiety about everything, or spiraling manic behavior, mood swings, quick to anger over simple small things, the lack of ability to get himself out of bed for weeks at a time. He would go for extended periods of listless behavior as if he was in a fog, over analyzing every single thought or decision until it would make him physically sick from worry. He was a hundred and seven pounds when we first met because of how often he would throw up or have stomach issues where the moment he ate it would go right through him. 

It's not easy going through life with a spouse that struggles with these conditions.  And had I known when I first met him how difficult our journey together would become, I might have run away so I wouldn't have to walk alongside him. Because honestly, as great as my life is most days, I have never experienced anything as difficult as the last seven years of my life with him. 

After seven years, I am almost an expert on depression, at least his anxiety and depression, because I can now recognize the patterns, signs, and triggers even before he enters into his different behaviors. And if I catch it early enough, I can either steer him away from the high highs and low lows before he is overcome with those feelings. I have become an expert on changing my behavior to accommodate him, And sometimes I don't even recognize myself in this quest to make his life easier, thus mine as well. 

All of his struggles stems from a brutal attack back in his country when he was 21 years old. His mother told me, after his attack and brain surgery to correct the injury, his personality changed and he was prone to depression. His anxiety stems from that attack as well, as five of his classmates decided to take turns teaching the queer a lesson. So even twenty years later, he has issues with intimate encounters, even from someone he loves and trusts. 

And there are times, when his sex drive is non-existent, his mood swings are so erratic I fear leaving him around sharp objects, and he tells me repeatedly how much of an asshole I being because I'm singing in the morning, I wonder why I don't just walk away and find someone else. My life would be easier if I did. 

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a partner who wants sex as much as I do. To have a partner I could ambush in the bathroom and do things to his no no parts without first checking to make sure he is comfortable enough, or feels safe enough for contact. Spontaneous sex is not something we can have, there is an entire process to handle his fears. 

I don't even want to get into the high highs, that behavior I think is more destructive than the low lows. It's been an adventure living with him. And you might be thinking I'm unhappy and mad that I can't sex up my husband whenever I want and you'd be right. 

I'm mad that he came from a country where that type of behavior is not only allowed but kind of expected in regards to homosexuals. I'm mad that five of his classmates, known assailants who beat him almost to death and did things to him over the span of three hours were not only never prosecuted, but in the eyes of the law did nothing wrong. 

I'm mad that he has to go through his life, almost fifteen years, without a partner to help him cope with these thoughts and feelings. Struggling alone is the hardest thing one can do. Him being able to have a fullfilled life was ripped out of him. So yes, I'm mad. 

I was the one that convinced him to seek help, first with counseling to process what had happened, and then helped him accept that he might need meds to help keep him level. And then finally to get him to see that self-medicating was not only unhealthy way to cope but slowly killing him. 

But even with meds, it is still a crapshoot. I have been doing research about CBD and the results it has on anxiety. So when this thread popped up, I was really happy to see that article. 

So if you are thinking of getting involved with someone who struggles with mental conditions, it's a daunting task and takes commitment. But we have researched things together, we help each as we deal with things as they happen. We help each other.

But don't get involved with someone if you can't handle the stress, because once they become attached, if you can't handle stay the course, you could end up doing more damage in the long run. And it's not easy.

Is my life perfect with him? Hell no. Do I still wake up everyday with a smile on my face and singing some stupid song I made up for him, you bet your ass. 
 

J

 

[chris191070]

6 hours ago, Jason Rimbaud said:

Before you read what I'm sure is going to be rather lengthy, I am commenting from the perspective of a spouse of one who struggles with anxiety and depression. And life has been a difficult these last few weeks and I need to vent a bit for my own mental health. 

I have not read many of the comments, I stopped after four pages, so I'm not sure if anyone commented from the perspective of a spouse. I read enough comments from 2011 and it's amazing actually how much our understanding of depression has evolved over the course of twelve years. 

From people hinting that it's all pity party, or woe is me, behavior, to having a real understanding that it is a mental disorder and nothing to be ashamed of. 

But I used to be like many people who thought "depression" wasn't real. I have never been depressed and I didn't understand how someone could feel that way. I wake up every morning, jump out of bed, immediately start singing some stupid song I made up as I shower and get ready for the day. How could someone not feel uber optimistic like I do? 

Then I met my husband, who managed to hide his anxiety and depression until after I was madly in love with him. Since I never had depression or been around anyone with depression, I didn't recognize any of the signs that  I was dealing with a person prone to anxiety about everything, or spiraling manic behavior, mood swings, quick to anger over simple small things, the lack of ability to get himself out of bed for weeks at a time. He would go for extended periods of listless behavior as if he was in a fog, over analyzing every single thought or decision until it would make him physically sick from worry. He was a hundred and seven pounds when we first met because of how often he would throw up or have stomach issues where the moment he ate it would go right through him. 

It's not easy going through life with a spouse that struggles with these conditions.  And had I known when I first met him how difficult our journey together would become, I might have run away so I wouldn't have to walk alongside him. Because honestly, as great as my life is most days, I have never experienced anything as difficult as the last seven years of my life with him. 

After seven years, I am almost an expert on depression, at least his anxiety and depression, because I can now recognize the patterns, signs, and triggers even before he enters into his different behaviors. And if I catch it early enough, I can either steer him away from the high highs and low lows before he is overcome with those feelings. I have become an expert on changing my behavior to accommodate him, And sometimes I don't even recognize myself in this quest to make his life easier, thus mine as well. 

All of his struggles stems from a brutal attack back in his country when he was 21 years old. His mother told me, after his attack and brain surgery to correct the injury, his personality changed and he was prone to depression. His anxiety stems from that attack as well, as five of his classmates decided to take turns teaching the queer a lesson. So even twenty years later, he has issues with intimate encounters, even from someone he loves and trusts. 

And there are times, when his sex drive is non-existent, his mood swings are so erratic I fear leaving him around sharp objects, and he tells me repeatedly how much of an asshole I being because I'm singing in the morning, I wonder why I don't just walk away and find someone else. My life would be easier if I did. 

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a partner who wants sex as much as I do. To have a partner I could ambush in the bathroom and do things to his no no parts without first checking to make sure he is comfortable enough, or feels safe enough for contact. Spontaneous sex is not something we can have, there is an entire process to handle his fears. 

I don't even want to get into the high highs, that behavior I think is more destructive than the low lows. It's been an adventure living with him. And you might be thinking I'm unhappy and mad that I can't sex up my husband whenever I want and you'd be right. 

I'm mad that he came from a country where that type of behavior is not only allowed but kind of expected in regards to homosexuals. I'm mad that five of his classmates, known assailants who beat him almost to death and did things to him over the span of three hours were not only never prosecuted, but in the eyes of the law did nothing wrong. 

I'm mad that he has to go through his life, almost fifteen years, without a partner to help him cope with these thoughts and feelings. Struggling alone is the hardest thing one can do. Him being able to have a fullfilled life was ripped out of him. So yes, I'm mad. 

I was the one that convinced him to seek help, first with counseling to process what had happened, and then helped him accept that he might need meds to help keep him level. And then finally to get him to see that self-medicating was not only unhealthy way to cope but slowly killing him. 

But even with meds, it is still a crapshoot. I have been doing research about CBD and the results it has on anxiety. So when this thread popped up, I was really happy to see that article. 

So if you are thinking of getting involved with someone who struggles with mental conditions, it's a daunting task and takes commitment. But we have researched things together, we help each as we deal with things as they happen. We help each other.

But don't get involved with someone if you can't handle the stress, because once they become attached, if you can't handle stay the course, you could end up doing more damage in the long run. And it's not easy.

Is my life perfect with him? Hell no. Do I still wake up everyday with a smile on my face and singing some stupid song I made up for him, you bet your ass. 
 

J

 

A great article @Jason Rimbaud.

I've been with my partner for 25 years (married for 10 of them) and he has suffered from stress, depression and numerous other illnesses all his life. So I totally understand where you are coming from.

Chris