Drunk off you ass: Seriously, didn't know it was possible

[W_L]

Read this article, if you dare:

 

http://www.cnn.com/2012/09/25/us/tennessee-fraternity-suspended/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

 

(CNN) -- Twelve students at the University of Tennessee have been cited for underage drinking, one for disorderly conduct and a fraternity chapter suspended after a weekend incident involving alcohol enemas in which one student was hospitalized, a university spokeswoman said.

"Upon extensive questioning, it is believed that members of the fraternity were using rubber tubing inserted into their rectums as a conduit for alcohol as the abundance of capillaries and blood vessels present greatly heightens the level and speed of the alcohol entering the bloodstream as it bypasses the filtering by the liver," Knoxville Police Dept spokesman Darrell DeBusk said Monday in a statement.

The student, who was taken to the UT Medical Center in critical condition with a blood alcohol level of 0.40 -- five times the legal cutoff for driving -- has been released, the hospital said.

Spokeswoman Karen Simsen said that hazing does not appear to have been involved. "It's just an incident involving alcohol," she said.

The Pi Kappa Alpha International Fraternity said it had administratively suspended the school's Zeta Chapter and was investigating the incident, which occurred early Saturday.

"The recent allegations against these individuals have come as a complete shock to The Pi Kappa Alpha International Fraternity, its 15,000 undergraduate members and over 200,000 living alumni, family and friends," the statement said. "Pi Kappa Alpha's mission is to develop men of integrity, intellect and high moral character and to foster a truly lifelong fraternal experience. These alleged activities are clearly not consistent with that mission, nor are they representative of what the fraternity would expect from any of its members."

The suspension will last for 30 days or until a decision is made regarding the long-term status of the chapter, the fraternity office said.

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 1,825 college students between the ages of 18 and 24 die each year from alcohol-related unintentional injuries.

 

___________________

 

So, I was doing it the wrong way throughout college, alcohol belongs at the other end of your body

 

I wonder how did the frat guys know about the rectum trick, I mean I've never heard of it before today.

 

Thought this was funny for everyone to get a good laugh and share in the lounge, hope it is not too age inappropriate.

[Zombie]

Hmm, alcohol suppositories. Neat way to get around the breathalyser

[Y_B]

I wonder how did the frat guys know about the rectum trick, I mean I've never heard of it before today.

 

wait...you actually...drink...your alcohol?

[Conner]

The 1825 deaths annually is shocking. And that's just college students? It's tragic.

[Krista]

It is a higher absorption rate... it is a quicker way to get drunk on a more potent level.. very dangerous technique to partake in as you cannot stop the absorption and your body cannot readily reject it - like say if it was in your stomach. It's also disgusting.. bleh.

[JamesSavik]

1825!? Bull. I want to see some documentation of that.

 

If we're talking drunken driving and death while intoxicated and stupid- sure. That's Darwin sorting out the heard.

 

I just don't think there are that many rectal rummies.

[Krista]

1825!? Bull. I want to see some documentation of that.

 

If we're talking drunken driving and death while intoxicated and stupid- sure. That's Darwin sorting out the heard.

 

I just don't think there are that many rectal rummies.

 

 

Lol that name.. shew James.

 

And the article says that number is from Alcohol related injuries, not all of them are from those.. lol.

[W_L]

I just remembered an old line some one once said that "Your ass is a natural exit and not a natural entrance", when invoked against gay guys.

 

Well, the University of Tennessee has just dis-proven that myth, it can be an entrance for other things too, huh!

 

Where's Mike, I want to Toast his native state for this groundbreaking news?

 

I know Conner, I should not be laughing at someone's misery, but the jokes can go on forever.

Edited September 26, 2012 by W_L

[crazyfish]

Wow. I know what I'm going to be doing this evening.

[Zombie]

1825!? Bull. I want to see some documentation of that.

 

You must live a very sad and distrustful life if your reaction to everthing you don't have personal experience of is that it's "bull****"

Presumably you wouldn't believe elephants have trunks unless you'd seen one with your own eyes

Fyi [and presumably Googling it yourself was just too much hard work - much easier to tap out "bull"] here are some sources

http://www.niaaa.nih...ollege-drinking

http://www.collegedr...ntbrochure.aspx

http://www.collegedr...kForce_TOC.aspx

http://www.collegedr...0.aspx#hing2005

 

If we're talking drunken driving and death while intoxicated and stupid- sure. That's Darwin sorting out the heard.

 

Maybe you need to be reminded now and again that you live in a society. Your breathtakingly cynical response "That's Darwin sorting out the heard" so why should I care?, apart from being callous, ignores the deaths and injuries caused to all the others by those drink drivers: passengers, pedestrians, and other road users. Never mind their distraught families and friends.

 

"Beyond the personal cost to the individual, society as a whole also pays. Half of all persons who die in traffic crashes involving drinking drivers under the age of 21 are people other than the drinking driver (NHTSA, 2003). The social costs of underage drinking are estimated conservatively at $53 billion, including $19 billion from traffic crashes and $29 billion from violent crime (Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation, 1999)."

[source US Dept of Health and Human Services "A Comprehensive Plan for Preventing and Reducing Underage Drinking " report 2006]

 

So you see you should care. Because you could be the one injured or killed by a drunk driver. Or someone you love. And even if you still have no compassion, these deaths are costing you money - because you have paid for the education of these students through your taxes and all that money's been wasted because these people have died before they've been able to pay back those costs through their taxes.

[W_L]

Zombie and James this is the lounge, not the soapbox.

 

Don't kill our buzz with politics and social issues

 

Drinking through your rectum is news to me, sounds like it might be to others.

 

Now as Brian griffin would ask : "who's leg do you need to hump to get a dry Martini around here?"

[joann414]

LMAO W L. You took the words right out of my mouth. I could see this getting thrown into the soapbox, and just imagine where GeneSplicer and Private Tim would go with it.

[NotNoNever]

hic

Edited September 26, 2012 by NotNoNever

[NotNoNever]

If I'm not much mistaken, was this not a fairly regular way for cocaine users to use their drug of choice when they ran out of nose?

 

Zombie, can you just imagine giving the ... police ... the idea of getting you to fart into a breathalyser ... Now, sir, I want you to put this tube in and wrap your lips tightly around it and blow till I say stop. Does this mean that if you can't fart up to 1 litre of air you could get done for failing to provide a specimen? The mind boggles.

 

Her Majesty v The Prisoner at the Bar

 

"Prisoner at the Bar. You have been found guilty of failing to exhale anally to the required volume at the behest of an officer of the law. How do you plead?"

 

"Hic"

 

"Prisoner at the Bar. You will refrain from using uncouth language or you will be held in contempt of this court. Once again, how do you plead?"

 

"Burp"

 

"Prisoner at the Bar. This is your final warning. How do you plead?"

 

"Pthrwrwrwrwrwblblblblbblblrwrwp"

 

"p"

 

"Prisoner at the Bar. Is that your full plea?"

 

"pooooooeeeeeeeeeeep"

 

"Prisoner at the Bar. hic ... I zhust wanna ... his ... shay, .... eye luv hic luv hic hic luvs you, man. I hink yos g go hic got burp got the best best bestest hic fartsh aroun hic, all intocshic intocshic intocshicating un un and efflu efflu hic effere ethereal. You u yoooo is jusht the an ana anal, brrrrrrp angels share, dude."

[JamesSavik]

You must live a very sad and distrustful life if your reaction to everthing you don't have personal experience of is that it's "bull****"

 

Actually I only call bullshit when I smell it. I don't call it nearly as often as some of our peers.

 

Fact is I misread a line in the article. I thought it was claiming all of the deaths came from bung-hole boozing when it was all alcohol related accidents. I can be wrong and admit it.

 

Too often, especially during campaign season, we see false claims and inflated statistics that are meant to intentionally mislead people. Like how there is no inflation, so many people have gotten jobs or how well the economy is doing. Those are intentional lies and I will expose them when I see them.

[Zombie]

Fair enough

[Houdinii]

I would seriously like to see one of these clowns fart on the bonfire after doing this... Would cause an explosion, hehe.

[Cyhort]

"The recent allegations against these individuals have come as a complete shock to The Pi Kappa Alpha International Fraternity,

 

So, a frat is surprised that it's members were getting drunk? Um....

[Zombie]

I would seriously like to see one of these clowns fart on the bonfire after doing this... Would cause an explosion, hehe.

 

You mean like this?

 

Edited September 26, 2012 by Zombie

[Andy78]

I think these students have seen Die Hard With A Vengeance once too often.

 

For those who don't recall the line:

 

"Beer is usually taken internally, John." (Connie Kowalski to John McClane)

[NightOwl88]

I've actually heard of this once before, (thanks to my former stepfather), back in the 90's caused the death of some moron who tried it. I've been trying to find the report but haven't been able to just yet.

 

You'd be pretty surprised the number of alternate means for getting alcohol/drugs into you're system. The most bizarre one I've come across is women inserting cocaine into their vaginas...I've got to find the report on that one as well.

[Arpeggio]

Things that make you go:

 

[Andrea]

I've actually heard of this once before, (thanks to my former stepfather), back in the 90's caused the death of some moron who tried it. I've been trying to find the report but haven't been able to just yet.

 

You'd be pretty surprised the number of alternate means for getting alcohol/drugs into you're system. The most bizarre one I've come across is women inserting cocaine into their vaginas...I've got to find the report on that one as well.

 

Cocaine and other drugs, in the vajeen. I've heard of it, from friends who have gotten a contact (hehe) high from their girlfriend's. Safe sex, y'all.

 

What about butt chugging?!?