Poems in different languages

[Valkyrie]

I've had a lot of editing and writing to get through, so haven't had much of a chance to work on this, either.  

[AC Benus]

4 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

I am not done, not by a long shot. I am a whole lot rustier than I thought...

Google Translate does pretty good with these lines, and I posted a link above to an English language translation. This one can serve as a road map to some of the more obscure references in the original.

[AC Benus]

Okay, here's my version. I tried to adhere to the original's metre, but opted out of rhymes except for a triplet at the end. While working on it, I learned the three classical references in the poem are all related to one another, but decided to keep them general and approachable to a casual reader.

 

Your thoughts....?

 

----------------------

 

"The Climax"

[by Fredrick the Great, 1740]

From Königsberg to Mister Algarotti, swan of Padua

 

Tonight, slaking these, his most forceful designs,

Algarotti floats on a sea of pleasures.

A body more chiseled than a Greek sculpture

Redoubles his senses with a fresh, new passion.  

All that speaks to the eyes and touches the heart,

Becomes fuel to further enflame his ardor. 

Carried then by love, trembling with impatience,

Like in the arms of Spring the moment it starts. 

The love that unifies, heats up their kisses

And more tightly knits their inter-writhing limbs.

Divine sensuality! The world’s sovereign!

Origin of pleasure, fount which won’t run dry,

Breathe life into my verse, as if by your voice,

Your flame, your action, the ecstasy of wits! 

Our lovers most blessed, in their raptures supreme,

In the flurry of love, they know of themselves:

Of kisses, joys, scents, gasping for air and death,

Only to revive, kiss once more and resume.

And in the fields of Venus, breathlessly spent, 

Lay the fortuned destiny of our lovers.

But the good times shared; normal morning returns.

Happy, from whom the spirit was never prey, 

From formal grandeurs, and those who knew the joy

A moment of climax for two to enjoy,

Is worth an age of honors that dazzle and cloy. 

 

 

[Former Member]

1 hour ago, AC Benus said:

Okay, here's my version. I tried to adhere to the original's metre, but opted out of rhymes except for a triplet at the end. While working on it, I learned the three classical references in the poem are all related to one another, but decided to keep them general and approachable to a casual reader.

 

Your thoughts....?

 

----------------------

 

"The Climax"

 

[by Fredrick the Great, 1740]

 

From Königsberg to Mister Algarotti, swan of Padua

 

 

 

Tonight, slaking these, his most forceful designs,

 

Algarotti floats on a sea of pleasures.

 

A body more chiseled than a Greek sculpture

 

Redoubles his senses with a fresh, new passion.  

 

All that speaks to the eyes and touches the heart,

 

Becomes fuel to further enflame his ardor. 

 

Carried then by love, trembling with impatience,

 

Like in the arms of Spring the moment it starts. 

 

The love that unifies, heats up their kisses

 

And more tightly knits their inter-writhing limbs.

 

Divine sensuality! The world’s sovereign!

 

Origin of pleasure, fount which won’t run dry,

 

Breathe life into my verse, as if by your voice,

 

Your flame, your action, the ecstasy of wits! 

 

Our lovers most blessed, in their raptures supreme,

 

In the flurry of love, they know of themselves:

 

Of kisses, joys, scents, gasping for air and death,

 

Only to revive, kiss once more and resume.

 

And in the fields of Venus, breathlessly spent, 

 

Lay the fortuned destiny of our lovers.

 

But the good times shared; normal morning returns.

 

Happy, from whom the spirit was never prey, 

 

From formal grandeurs, and those who knew the joy

 

A moment of climax for two to enjoy,

 

Is worth an age of honors that dazzle and cloy. 

 

 

 

 

You're an artist. 

[AC Benus]

1 hour ago, Dennis191 said:

You're an artist. 

Aw. thanks     

 

 

Edited July 13, 2017 by AC Benus

[Valkyrie]

I'm going to wait to read yours until I'm done with my own translation, AC.  I started it and hope to have something to share this weekend.   

[Former Member]

So here is mine, even I think now, translating two times, through three languages ... well see your self.

@AC Benus thanks for the idea, I had a lot of fun doing it and working on it.

Yours is amazing!

And I think, it is amazing how different our translations have become.

 

 

The Bliss

from Königsberg to Mr. Algarotti, swan of Padua

In this night, driven by his desire,
Algarotti dived into the sea of pleasure.

A statue, more perfect than the perfection of Praxiteles work,
raised the passion of his senses.

Everything, which pleases the eye and moves the heart,
was found in the object of his glowing desire.

Enamored, trembling with eagerness,
he rushed in the arms of Chloris.

Through love united, they kiss in fever and
entwine closer and closer.

Heavenly bliss! Regina orbis!

Aphrodite, creative source of passion,
witness in my verse with your voice
their fire, their act, the ecstasy of their senses!

In most passion, overwhelmed by love,
our enchanted lovers knew nothing but themselves:

Kissing, melting in bliss, sigh and die,
rising in a next kiss, to become pure bliss again.
In the fields of Knidos, breathless,
was these lovers lucky fate.

But every joy ends; gone with the sunrise.
A happy soul, which never fall for shining power,
and knew joy!

One moment of bliss as worthy
as a century of honor, which shines with false brightness.

 

[Former Member]

Du musst das Leben nicht verstehen
Du musst das Leben nicht verstehen,
dann wird es werden wie ein Fest.
Und lass dir jeden Tag geschehen
so wie ein Kind im Weitergehen
von jedem Wehen
sich viele Blüten schenken lässt.
 
Sie aufzusammeln und zu sparen,
das kommt dem Kind nicht in den Sinn.
Es löst sie leise aus den Haaren,
drin sie so gern gefangen waren,
und hält den lieben jungen Jahren
nach neuen seine Hände hin.

You must fail to understand life...
You must fail to understand life;
then it will turn to festival.
And let every day happen to you
as a wandering child, accepts gifts
from many blossoms
from every gentle breeze,

 

To gather and to save them,
that doesn't occur.
It frees them gently from its hair,
in which they so gladly were tangled,
and, stretched out its hands for more
to new sweet young years.

 

R. M. Rilke

[AC Benus]

5 minutes ago, Lyssa said:

Du musst das Leben nicht verstehen
Du musst das Leben nicht verstehen,
dann wird es werden wie ein Fest.
Und lass dir jeden Tag geschehen
so wie ein Kind im Weitergehen
von jedem Wehen
sich viele Blüten schenken lässt.
 
Sie aufzusammeln und zu sparen,
das kommt dem Kind nicht in den Sinn.
Es löst sie leise aus den Haaren,
drin sie so gern gefangen waren,
und hält den lieben jungen Jahren
nach neuen seine Hände hin.

You must fail to understand life...
You must fail to understand life;
then it will turn to festival.
And let every day happen to you
as a wandering child, accepts gifts
from many blossoms
from every gentle breeze,

 

To gather and to save them,
that doesn't occur.
It frees them gently from its hair,
in which they so gladly were tangled,
and, stretched out its hands for more
to new sweet young years.

 

R. M. Rilke

wonderful, truly wonderful 

[AC Benus]

I think I would like to tackle this gem. El Desdichado by Gerard de Nerval.

 

Je suis le Ténébreux – le Veuf – l’Inconsolé,
Le Prince d’Aquitaine à la Tour abolie :
Ma seule Etoile est morte – et mon luth constellé
Porte le Soleil noir de la Mélancolie.

 

Dans la nuit du Tombeau, Toi qui m’as consolé,
Rends-moi le Pausilippe et la mer d’Italie,
La fleur qui plaisait tant à mon coeur désolé,
Et la treille où le Pampre à la Rose s’allie.

 

Suis-je Amour ou Phébus ?… Lusignan ou Biron ?
Mon front est rouge encor du baiser de la Reine ;
J’ai rêvé dans la Grotte où nage la sirène…

 

Et j’ai deux fois vainqueur traversé l’Achéron :
Modulant tour à tour sur la lyre d’Orphée
Les soupirs de la Sainte et les cris de la Fée.

 

 

 

 

Edited July 12, 2018 by AC Benus

[AC Benus]

Here's my version. The Spanish title means "The Desolate"; "The Abandoned"; "The Wretched" etc.

 

I am the tombs – the widower – the unconsoled, 

The prince of Aquitaine in his tower abandoned: 

My one and only star is dead – my strings unfold  

Melancholy's black light whose sun is most weakened.

 

In the night of the graves, your tears held me controlled, 

So now return Posillipo, Naples' fair wind, 

The flower my afflicted heart liked so much of old,

And the trellis where grape and rose were jointly pinned.

 

Am I Venus or the Sun...? Brave king or coward?  

My brow is still flushed from the kiss of the sovereign; 

I dream yet of the grotto where swims the siren….

 

Twice crossing the river of the dead, I scoured

For my turn on Orpheus' lyre to play

For saintly sighs, and the cursed screams of the fey. 

 

[AC Benus]

I wrote this translation as a tribute to my mom. I don't know how any singer can get through Mahler's music without being reduced to tears at the end.

Thanks for her support go to Lyssa and Mikiesboy, as always. 

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/ac-benus/translation-trashbin/5#comment-303522

 

Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen,  

Mit der ich sonst viele Zeit verdorben;

Sie hat so lange nichts von mir vernommen,

Sie mag wohl glauben, ich sei gestorben.

 

 

Es ist mir auch gar nichts daran gelegen;

Ob sie mich für gestorben hält,

Ich kann auch gar nichts sagen dagegen,

Denn wirklich bin ich gestorben der Welt.

 

 

Ich bin gestorben dem Weltgetümmel,

Und ruh' in einem stillen Gebiet.

Ich leb' allein in meinem Himmel,

In meinem Lieben, in meinem Lied.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------

 

I’ve been missing from the world lately,

Away from those I once spent so much time;

They’ve not heard from me, so long, ultimately,

They think I’ve moved on to Death’s colder clime. 

 

 

I’m done caring about them all greatly;

They think I’m dead or unsteady,

Let them think so, calm or irately,

‘Cause I’m dead to this world already (world already).

 

 

On the world’s turmoil, I watch sedately,

And can rest detached right where I belong,

Living alone in my heaven stately (in heaven stately),

With only my loves, and with my song.

 

 

_

 

 

 

Edited July 12, 2018 by AC Benus

[Mikiesboy]

2 minutes ago, AC Benus said:

I wrote this translation as a tribute to my mom. I don't know how any singer can get through Mahler's music this without being reduced to tears at the end.

Thanks for her support go to Lyssa and Mikiesboy, as always. 

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/ac-benus/translation-trashbin/5#comment-303522

 

Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen,  

 

Mit der ich sonst viele Zeit verdorben;

 

Sie hat so lange nichts von mir vernommen,

 

Sie mag wohl glauben, ich sei gestorben.

 

 

 

Es ist mir auch gar nichts daran gelegen;

 

Ob sie mich für gestorben hält,

 

Ich kann auch gar nichts sagen dagegen,

 

Denn wirklich bin ich gestorben der Welt.

 

 

 

Ich bin gestorben dem Weltgetümmel,

 

Und ruh' in einem stillen Gebiet.

 

Ich leb' allein in meinem Himmel,

 

In meinem Lieben, in meinem Lied.

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------------

 

I’ve been missing from the world lately,

 

Away from those I once spent so much time;

 

They’ve not heard from me, so long, ultimately,

 

They think I’ve moved on to Death’s colder clime. 

 

 

 

I’m done caring about them all greatly;

 

They think I’m dead or unsteady,

 

Let them think so, calm or irately,

 

‘Cause I’m dead to this world already (world already).

 

 

 

On the world’s turmoil, I watch sedately,

 

And can rest detached right where I belong,

 

Living alone in my heaven stately (in heaven stately),

With only my loves, and with my song.

 

 

 

_

 

 

 

it is wonderful AC ... beautiful and very moving    xo

[AC Benus]

Lyssa did me a great honor. She felt so moved by one of my early poems, she rendered it in German. The theme is spring, so it's perfect for this time of year.

 

------------------------------

 

The spring is beautiful

 

As I watch her dress the Earth

In emotions I had almost forgot

Using colors stored in careful places

Kept safe from the frost of the soul

Safe in the warmth of knowing

That no matter what, her day will come again.

 

The spring is a beautiful reason

Not that she has any cause to be

Wars are still being fought

People are still hating many things.

 

And yet, she comes

Offering her gift to the world

No questions, no bills

She comes for reasons unknown.

 

With a million secret colors

She paints a million emotions

Far too many to write

And so I'm left with nothing but…

 

The spring is beautiful.

 

------------------------------

 

Der Frühling ist schön

 

Ich sehe, wie er die Welt kleidet 

in fast vergessene Emotionen, 

mit Farben sorgsam bewahrt

vor dem Winterfrost der Seelen.

 Er hielt sie geborgen in der Gewissheit,

seiner sicheren Wiederkehr.

 

Der Frühling ist der mächtige Ursprung,

unabsichtlich atemberaubend,

obwohl weiterhin Kriege geführt werden

und Menschen einander hassen.

 

Verlässlich kommt er wieder

und beschenkt die Welt mit seinem Wunder.

Es gibt keine Fragen, kein Kalkül

und den Grund werden wir nie erfahren.

 

Mit ungezählten scheuen Farben

malt er unzählbare Gefühle

zu viele, um sie alle nieder zu schreiben.

So bleibt mir nur dies…

 

Der Frühling ist schön.

 

 

_

 

Edited April 25, 2018 by AC Benus

[Mikiesboy]

1 hour ago, AC Benus said:

Lyssa did me a great honor. She felt so moved by one of my early poems, she rendered it in German. The theme is spring, so it's perfect for this time of year.

 

oh how wonderful! 

[AC Benus]

One of my joys in life (yes, poet here  ) is translating the Tanka from the anthology known as the Hyakunin Isshu (or, The Issue of a Hundred People). Here is No. 32 by Harumichi no Tsuraki; it's an autumn poem. 

 

In a mountain stream

The wind-shaken remnants fall,

Like crimson rain spots

Turning the water opaque

Amidst swirls of maple leaves. 

 

 

(my book says the poet passed away in the year 864, but poetry is immortal!) 

[Mikiesboy]

4 hours ago, AC Benus said:

One of my joys in life (yes, poet here  ) is translating the Tanka from the anthology known as the Hyakunin Isshu (or, The Issue of a Hundred People). Here is No. 32 by Harumichi no Tsuraki; it's an autumn poem. 

 

In a mountain stream

The wind-shaken remnants fall,

Like crimson rain spots

Turning the water opaque

Amidst swirls of maple leaves. 

 

 

(my book says the poet passed away in the year 864, but poetry is immortal!) 

Hi immortal poet...love this one

[Parker Owens]

6 hours ago, AC Benus said:

One of my joys in life (yes, poet here  ) is translating the Tanka from the anthology known as the Hyakunin Isshu (or, The Issue of a Hundred People). Here is No. 32 by Harumichi no Tsuraki; it's an autumn poem. 

 

In a mountain stream

The wind-shaken remnants fall,

Like crimson rain spots

Turning the water opaque

Amidst swirls of maple leaves. 

 

 

(my book says the poet passed away in the year 864, but poetry is immortal!) 

 

I agree - the poetry is undying. It is such a beautiful translation. Evocative and engaging of the senses. 

[AC Benus]

Hello, all! I worked on translating a Tanka by Ōgai Mori this afternoon. Do you think my version makes for a compelling poem...? I'm hoping it does, but I'm not so sure.

 

Let poetry be

Like a crystal bowl of ice;

Allow it to seem

Inviting and transparent,

With no spots of doubt showing.  

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 12, 2018 by AC Benus

[MacGreg]

21 minutes ago, AC Benus said:

Hello, all! I worked on translating a Tanka by Ōgai Mori this afternoon. Do you think my version makes for a compelling poem...? I'm hoping it does, but I'm not so sure.

 

Let poetry be

Like a crystal bowl of ice;

Allow it to seem

Inviting and transparent,

With no spots of doubt showing.  

 

 

It certainly does!

[Mikiesboy]

22 minutes ago, AC Benus said:

Hello, all! I worked on translating a Tanka by Ōgai Mori this afternoon. Do you think my version makes for a compelling poem...? I'm hoping it does, but I'm not so sure.

 

Let poetry be

Like a crystal bowl of ice;

Allow it to seem

Inviting and transparent,

With no spots of doubt showing.  

 

 

 

 

 

i like it ... but i'm iffy on the last line  personally

[AC Benus]

59 minutes ago, MacGreg said:

It certainly does!

Thanks for the feedback, Mac. I'm still thinking about the poem though

[AC Benus]

57 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

i like it ... but i'm iffy on the last line  personally

yeah, me too.

[mollyhousemouse]

5 hours ago, AC Benus said:

Hello, all! I worked on translating a Tanka by Ōgai Mori this afternoon. Do you think my version makes for a compelling poem...? I'm hoping it does, but I'm not so sure.

 

Let poetry be

Like a crystal bowl of ice;

Allow it to seem

Inviting and transparent,

With no spots of doubt showing.  

 

 

 

 

 

i know i'm late to the party, but i'd like to echo what's already been said

i like your translations and i'm sure this one will be great too

 

[AC Benus]

1 hour ago, mollyhousemouse said:

i know i'm late to the party, but i'd like to echo what's already been said

i like your translations and i'm sure this one will be great too

 

Thanks, Molly. It's never too late ❤️