[Jack Frost] Moving On

[Conner]

I give up! I surrender! No way am I taking on a Quebecois. Two weeks it is.

 

A French Canadian bf, eh? Nice going! I now hold you in much greater esteem. There are a lot of French Canadians in the Vancouver area.

 

Seriously, I'm enjoying your story and anxious to read more.

 

Conner

[Jack Frost]

I'm American, not Qu

[Jack Frost]

*bumps*

 

I can't let this disappear.

 

The next chapter is about 3/4 done.

[Conner]

*bumps*

 

I can't let this disappear.

 

The next chapter is about 3/4 done.

Two weeks, eh? Me thinks you're spending too much time talking to your French Canadian bf!

 

I'll try to be patient. If I have an anxiety attack, it'll be your fault!

 

Conner

[C James]

Two weeks, eh? Me thinks you're spending too much time talking to your French Canadian bf!

 

I'll try to be patient. If I have an anxiety attack, it'll be your fault!

 

Conner

Jack, get writing, because we don't want Conner to have an anxiety attack. Have you ever seen a Goat with an anxiety attack? Not something you want to see, trust me! <shudder>

[DarkShadow]

I can't believe you left us hanging there with the way her reacted to the news. That is just WRONG! Hmm... I'm getting to know a bit more of the torment I put my readers through. It's not as much fun on this end of the cliffhanger. You definately got me hooked!

 

I read this a few days, and though I had posted a comment, but either I'm insane, or just somehow forgot, because I sure don't see one.

 

I like this story, and I want to read more.

[Jack Frost]

I can't believe you left us hanging there with the way her reacted to the news. That is just WRONG! Hmm... I'm getting to know a bit more of the torment I put my readers through. It's not as much fun on this end of the cliffhanger. You definately got me hooked!

 

I read this a few days, and though I had posted a comment, but either I'm insane, or just somehow forgot, because I sure don't see one.

 

I like this story, and I want to read more.

Thanks.

 

Well, I have authors leaving me hanging for WEEKS...so I decided to do a little revenge on some.

 

Jack, get writing, because we don't want Conner to have an anxiety attack. Have you ever seen a Goat with an anxiety attack? Not something you want to see, trust me! <shudder>

If a goat get sick, it's easy...I shoot it.

 

 

 

Yea, remind me not to say the time when I will finish. It always seems I go beyond what I predicted. I usually write several sentences to highlight the scenes in few words when I start a chapter. For this chapter, it's much different than I've planned out.

[Camy]

The problem with GA is that there is way too much good fiction to read.

 

So as I'm late to the party I'll just head to the kitchen, grab a beer and wait for chapter 3

 

Salut

 

Camy

[Jack Frost]

I know you all will be happy to hear I just sent the chapter to Sharon to let her do her magic. Expect a release within few days.

[sat8997]

Abracadabra, a little sleight of hand and misdirection, lots of mirrors, and the gold coin is now back behind Jack

[Tom]

Abracadabra, a little sleight of hand and misdirection, lots of mirrors, and the gold coin is now back behind Jack's ear.

 

Sharon

Now if he would only show it to us... ...of course, I really don't have any room to talk , I'm a little behind on posting chapters also

[Jack Frost]

I don't feel behind releasing chapters. Time can vary, simple as that.

[Jack Frost]

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...4&chapter=3

 

[Drewbie]

come on steph kiss ben back. Edited October 10, 2006 by Drew

[C James]

Steph definitly needs to sort things out soon; Ben is too good to leave hanging!

[Xiao_Chun]

I just discovered this story tonight and couldn

[Xiao_Chun]

I forgot to mention that I loved the way the balance of power shifts in this story from Steph to Ben and then back to Steph. At first, Steph is in

[Jack Frost]

I'll tell you why I brought out the cutting factor. It's because I used to do it. Not because of my sexuality, just for few stupid reasons...to see blood, get scars, and just do it for no reason. In the story, I put many parts of experiences from my life. If you can figure out the puzzle I snuck into the chapters....I'll adore you and give you a cookie.

 

 

About the power shifts. Wow...you got a good eye there. I never thought of it...I just write it down without thinking or planning that.

 

It's neat to hear from the thoughts of other minds.

[C James]

I'll tell you why I brought out the cutting factor. It's because I used to do it. Not because of my sexuality, just for few stupid reasons...to see blood, get scars, and just do it for no reason. In the story, I put many parts of experiences from my life. If you can figure out the puzzle I snuck into the chapters....I'll adore you and give you a cookie.

I'm sorry to hear that the cutting came from your own past, though to be honest I wondered about that when I saw it. Kudos to you for putting it behind you!

 

So, there is a puzzle in the chapters, eh? Hmmmmm!!! Sneaky! I like it! Time to go searching...

[sat8997]

If you can figure out the puzzle I snuck into the chapters....I'll adore you and give you a cookie.

 

So, there is a puzzle in the chapters, eh? Hmmmmm!!! Sneaky! I like it! Time to go searching...

 

Guess it's a good thing I can bake my own cookies.

 

Sharon

[knotme]

I needed to remind myself that the three chapters described the events of one day. During this one day Ben already came out to Steph, which is pretty bold on his part. But I am not surprised that Steph didn

[Jack Frost]

Hey guys...I just started writing the next chapter. I'll try to get it done before I go to Canada on the 10th. But I won't promise anything.

[Xiao_Chun]

Hey guys...I just started writing the next chapter. I'll try to get it done before I go to Canada on the 10th. But I won't promise anything.

Take your time Jack. It's a great story, worth waiting.

 

Hugs,

Michael.

[Jack Frost]

Tata!

 

Chapter 4...

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...4&chapter=4

[captainrick]

Okay, here goes. First off, I like the setting. You've obviously written about an area you're familiar with and like very much. Good job with that. The characters, well, as the chapters progress, I am finally getting a sense of who they are. I have to admit that I didn't really care for Chapt 1 that much, but I did like it enough to keep reading. I had the same issues with my own story. I still hate chapter 1 of my story after two rewrites! GRRR! Also, don't be afraid to use contractions. I saw several "can not"s and "do not"s that simply would have read easier as "Can't" or "Don't" and be more realistic in the way kids speak.

 

Thing is as the story progresses the characters become more real. That's what I'm seeing here. If I have any other criticism, it's only that at times Steph seems too mature, especially in his rationalizations and thought processes. He's not coming across to me as an average teen. Yeah, I know, what is an average teen? I guess what I mean to say there is that he needs to cut loose. Do or say something absolutely off the wall or stupid like we all did at that age. :wacko:

 

Now for the good stuff. I like the plot line so far. I only wonder about Steph's reaction to Ben's coming out in the earlier chapter. It was hard to understand with the final scene in this chapter, but I assume some explanation of that is coming later.

I also loved the scene where Ben falls asleep. Very cute The best part of Chapt 1 was the two friends. Alex and Krist. They were developed and itroduced well, and I personally would like to see more interaction with them. Especially Krist! very intriguing character! good dialogue with them too. The good job with those guys is probably what kept me interested in the story. I don't know, I'm weird that way. I pick up on the minor stuff. Finally, I absolutely love the bilingual idea. I only wish I spoke something other than southern drawl. Oh well.

 

You're story's on my reading list. Good luck!

 

Rick