[Shadowgod] Living in Surreality

[Conner]

Excellent chapter, Steve. There were some great moments. I particularly liked the opening scene between Jacob and his mother..the smells, the thoughts, the shared, but unspoken, feelings between them. Really beautiful.

 

However, (don't you hate 'however" after a compliment ) what were you thinking when you wrote the following sentence,

 

Matt didn't hesitate in the answer he gave, which was nothing.

 

I did find it entertaining, though. Speak to your editor.

 

Conner

[C James]

Excellent chapter, Steve. There were some great moments. I particularly liked the opening scene between Jacob and his mother..the smells, the thoughts, the shared, but unspoken, feelings between them. Really beautiful.

 

However, (don't you hate 'however" after a compliment ) what were you thinking when you wrote the following sentence,

I did find it entertaining, though. Speak to your editor.

 

Conner

 

Howdy, Goat!

I totally agree about the scenes between Jacob and his mother, they were superb.

 

As for the other line, I loved it.

[shadowgod]

Whew.. Its been awhile since I or anyone has posted here.

 

Thanks everyone for all the praise and notes of 'hey what is this line' Feedback is awesome, its good to know that certain scene did evoke the emotions I wanted them too. While others bring about only confusion from interpretation. Seeing all the comments would just rocks!

 

Also big thanks to everyone who has left reviews for LiS in eFiction. You guys have pushed it to the top of the ten most reviewed stories list You guys are awesome!

 

As always thanks to Viv for editing.. and to CJames, Bondwriter, an Colinian. Without those guys the story wouldn't be half as good. I had a friend claim to be a computer-terror once, lets just say I a grammar Terror. But you guys know that you've been reading my posts

 

Interesting story concerning this rewrite. I had sent the link out to a few different yahoo-groups I'm a member of. Shame on me for not checking back in one of the groups as it started a little controversy. Another member posted a note saying that she found the story familiar to another she had read and someone should clue me into this fact. Yes ladies and gents, I was plagiarizing my own work

 

I don't know this readers name, But if your out there and you read this THANKS A MILLION! I'm glad you remembered the earlier version and had enough forethought to protect the interests of the author. That was really great of you to do!

 

There was a reply made to the group that I was in-fact the original author and the mystery reader breathed a sigh of relief.

 

That will teach me to change pen names and titles

[C James]

Whew.. Its been awhile since I or anyone has posted here.

 

Thanks everyone for all the praise and notes of 'hey what is this line' Feedback is awesome, its good to know that certain scene did evoke the emotions I wanted them too. While others bring about only confusion from interpretation. Seeing all the comments would just rocks!

 

"Feedback is an Author's lifeblood". That's a phrase I blatantly stole from dkstories, but it really is true.

 

Interesting story concerning this rewrite. I had sent the link out to a few different yahoo-groups I'm a member of. Shame on me for not checking back in one of the groups as it started a little controversy. Another member posted a note saying that she found the story familiar to another she had read and someone should clue me into this fact. Yes ladies and gents, I was plagiarizing my own work

 

Seeing this post prompted me to send shdowgod a PM, where I advised him that Plagerisim was a very serious matter, and thus, he should sue himself.

 

That will teach me to change pen names and titles

 

I've been a fan of Steve's for a long time (many years), ever since I first read Ch 1 (posted as a short story) of "shot of Bourbon" on a new-closed website. I was surprised to see him turn up here, and didn't recognize his nic, but I sure recognized his story (Shot of Bourbon).

 

LiS is doing great, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter (which I predict with have a 1 in the title).

 

Thanks for all the wonderful stories, Steve!

[shadowgod]

No CJ thanks to all you for, its been awesome

 

Now for a bit of news, For everyone who expects new Chapters on thursday I will continue posting on thursday nights, however the final and announcement prolly won't be put up untill friday in the eFiction Announcements thread. I have a few reasons for this. 1 thursday is getting a little crowded with some excellent stories and I don't want to bump their annoncements. Second Bondwriter has graciously agreed to give a final final read through to catch any last minute errors that may be present in the chapter. Thanks Bondwriter. If anything else is left its CJ's fault just kidding that would be all my fualt, but Colinian usualy drops me a line. Thanks Colin!

 

So for now Chapter 18

 

Y'all may want to check out It feel's like Monday by our very own Tom(lostone). The story so far is superb and the characters complex. There are only 7 chapters so far, in addition to global warming and a slew of other things... This could be argued as being my fualt as well, Definately an excellent story you all should check it out if you have yet to do so.

 

(hint hint Tom, I'd like another chapter please )

[wildone]

Hey Steve!

 

Another excellant chapter, thank you sooo much

 

For everyone who expects new Chapters on thursday I will continue posting on thursday nights, however the final and announcement prolly won't be put up untill friday in the eFiction Announcements thread.

 

Hopefully there isn't any pressure on you to post "every" week on Thursday, as I'm happy to read chapters any day of the week, and grateful too. I always try to keep in mind that you authors have lives too outside of writing for us. Somethimes I'm too busy to read a chapter, so that gives you the right to be too busy to write one. Don't forget that!!

 

As far as the chapter goes, hopefully Matt's dad realizes that it is not always a political death sentance to have a gay child. We only need to look to Dick Cheney for proof positive (did I just put a plug in for Cheney?? ) Considering I'm not even american, guess I shouldn't comment there.

 

I was very happy with Matt's statement on the street in front of the house. It reminded me of the first time that I ever was kissed (yes, by a guy ) in a public place. It felt soooooo good. At the time the intial reaction is "Did anyone see or hear", then it quickly turns to "Who gives a f*&k, damn that felt good.

 

Well it will be interesting to see where Matt's dad goes with this, and to see how far he is willing to go to destroy Jacob for his own selfish intrests.

 

Thanks again!!!

 

Steve

[Altimexis]

Shadowgod,

 

I continue to be intrigued by the way you tell your story - the way the story unfolds and the interplay among the characters. Chapter 18 continues this interplay in a very satisfying way. I love the way Jacob saunters across the street and Matt keeps calling out to him, causing him to stop in his tracks and turn around. You can feel the love between these two. It's a bittersweet time for Valarie, but I think she's come to terms with the situation and is (mostly) OK with it. The neighbor is another story and now Matt's father. I sense trouble down the road and I definitely don't like that he's going to be checking up on Jacob's past. Are we about to learn more about the skeletons in his closet? Might Matt's father use the info to drive a wedge between the two - I don't doubt that he'd do it if he thought it would help his chances of getting elected.

 

Now for a bit of news, For everyone who expects new Chapters on thursday I will continue posting on thursday nights, however the final and announcement prolly won't be put up untill friday in the eFiction Announcements thread.

 

I've tried that trick myself, but it never keeps die hard fans like me from checking out eFiction and finding the new chapter, anyway. Every time you add a chapter, your story pops to the top of the Most Recent list.

[C James]

Now for a bit of news, For everyone who expects new Chapters on thursday I will continue posting on thursday nights, however the final and announcement prolly won't be put up untill friday in the eFiction Announcements thread. I have a few reasons for this. 1 thursday is getting a little crowded with some excellent stories and I don't want to bump their annoncements. Second Bondwriter has graciously agreed to give a final final read through to catch any last minute errors that may be present in the chapter. Thanks Bondwriter. If anything else is left its CJ's fault just kidding that would be all my fualt, but Colinian usualy drops me a line. Thanks Colin!

 

I'm relieved; I thought you were going to try and crowd me out of my Tuesday posting timeslot.

 

And yes, we do blame you for global warming.

 

I loved Ch 18!!!

 

Richard's reappearance is certainly unwelcome, and I think things are about to get very interesting (not in a good way) for Matt, Jacob, and Val. I'm betting that Jacob's "embarrassing incident" from his past will play a role. That investigator sounds like a nasty piece of work, too.

 

[Bondwriter]

A really nice chapter. Richard accepting to see his son smeared to for his agenda's sake is rightdown devious. And our poor guys are totally unaware of the trouble brewing. Val's father's reaction surprised me more, actually. What does he care that Matt is in love with Jacob? It doesn't prevent Jacob to be the king of the lube job, does it?

 

I'm quite amazed at the cinematographic way to imagine the scenes and the side of the story told to the reader so there's always action. And now with these new developments, I'm quite curious to see what's gonna happen next!

[colinian]

Steve,

 

Great chapter! Things are getting very complicated for Jacob and Matt. Richard is a real shit, IMO, but I've gotta believe he's going to get his comeuppance. If he asked me for advice, I'd tell him that the publicity that's going to be generated is not going to help his political ambitions at all, and in fact, it going to turn on him. Just IMO, of course. You may surprise us yet!

 

Colin

[Jeff Burton]

I did a google on myself and found this....

 

Sigh I guess fates are in order, Steven my dear I'm still out there somewhere, where? I'm not sure really but I'll get back to you on that.

 

I'm still plotting along on that one thing, can't believe it'll be approaching a year in 4 months better get off me ass eh? Anyway..

 

In all seriouseness, keep up the writing, don't stop.

[shadowgod]

Hey Guys!

 

I really need to wander into these parts more often. Its thursday so I should be posting a chapter tonight, alas I'm not. I spent the weekend when I usualy write chapters writing spring anthology entry. Yes its all done! though I may expand the ending just a tad. Keep your eye out around April 15th for Vegas Sun.

I'll forego my normal schedual and get 19 posted as soon as I have it written beta'd and edited.

 

Thanks to everyone who has read and continues to read. You guy's rock!

 

Now I need to go take care of my sore calf muscles... there is really alot of jumping when you go to concerts

 

Treyvan! great to see and hear from you again guy! Keep on plugging away at that second chapter and shoot it my way when your finished!

 

Steve

[C James]

Hey Guys!

 

I really need to wander into these parts more often. Its thursday so I should be posting a chapter tonight, alas I'm not. I spent the weekend when I usualy write chapters writing spring anthology entry. Yes its all done! though I may expand the ending just a tad. Keep your eye out around April 15th for Vegas Sun.

I'll forego my normal schedual and get 19 posted as soon as I have it written beta'd and edited.

 

Thanks to everyone who has read and continues to read. You guy's rock!

 

Now I need to go take care of my sore calf muscles... there is really alot of jumping when you go to concerts

 

Real life often gets in the way of writing, but we have a most excellent story to look forward too, and I'm glad you had fun in Vegas!

 

BTW, everyone, Steve beat me to it: When he posted this, I was about to post that the reason for his absence was something that I could not mention, but that, fear not, he should be back soon because he has a good lawyer who thinks he can get him off on a technicality.

 

BTW, Check out Steve's blog for news on LiS: it only has about four more chapters!

 

I'll even give out some spoilers for LiS 19 (and hope that Steve doesn't see this).

#1 I can confirm, for an absolute fact, that it has words in it.

#2, It has a number in the title.

#3

I can't think of anything else, but these spoiler spaces are fun to use!

 

[shadowgod]

Real life often gets in the way of writing, but we have a most excellent story to look forward too, and I'm glad you had fun in Vegas!

 

BTW, everyone, Steve beat me to it: When he posted this, I was about to post that the reason for his absence was something that I could not mention, but that, fear not, he should be back soon because he has a good lawyer who thinks he can get him off on a technicality.

 

BTW, Check out Steve's blog for news on LiS: it only has about four more chapters!

 

I'll even give out some spoilers for LiS 19 (and hope that Steve doesn't see this).

#1 I can confirm, for an absolute fact, that it has words in it.

#2, It has a number in the title.

#3

I can't think of anything else, but these spoiler spaces are fun to use!

 

Just to go and prove a goat wrong I am announcing the name of the next chapter here and now I get to use a spoiler space too! YAY!!!!!!!!!

 

 

XIX

 

 

not a number in it

[C James]

Just to go and prove a goat wrong I am announcing the name of the next chapter here and now I get to use a spoiler space too! YAY!!!!!!!!!

 

 

XIX

 

 

not a number in it

 

But that's a number, it's just in roman numerals!! Humph!

[shadowgod]

But that's a number, it's just in roman numerals!! Humph!

semantics.... you never specified if it was roman or Arabic numerals. So I just went with the universal of Arabic numerals, and last I checked both X and I are letters not numerals. Ofcourse that depends on their usage but I could soundly argue that the name sounds like ziz and just uses x's for the spelling.

[shadowgod]

Look at me double posting WOOT!

 

Just give ya'll a heads up Episode XIX ( @ CJ ) is in the can and sent out for beta and Edit's.

 

So if not online by late tomorrow night (editor is busy all day minana) then by Friday night. And don't blame the editor its all my fault, I was told in advance that thursday was going to be busy, and still I procrastinated and didn't get smack done over the weekend.

 

Love ya doll

 

Steve

[C James]

Look at me double posting WOOT!

 

Just give ya'll a heads up Episode XIX ( @ CJ ) is in the can and sent out for beta and Edit's.

 

So if not online by late tomorrow night (editor is busy all day minana) then by Friday night. And don't blame the editor its all my fault, I was told in advance that thursday was going to be busy, and still I procrastinated and didn't get smack done over the weekend.

 

Love ya doll

 

Steve

 

He lies! I've seen the filename, and it says LiS 19, not Lis XIX!

 

Edit to add: YEs, I saw your double posts, you postaholic!

Edited March 16, 2007 by C James

[C James]

Chapter 19 is up! (well, the shadowy one calls it chapter XIX, but I digress.)

 

GREAT chapter, and wow, some disturbing developments! I'll comment in detail tomorrow, but, wow, go read it!

[C James]

he figured it a back-water, filled with people too scared, or too slow, to live in more metropolitan areas.

 

Anti-Rural bigotry!!!!!

 

So, WHY is Cody being hidden? That is a puzzler.

I also note that he is aware of Jacob, and has kept tabs on Jacob, otherwise he wouldn't know that Jacob never played football again.

 

OK, This is a whole new twist with the PI, and the dirty political operative. VERY perplexing. And IMHO very ominous. What is going to happen there? Uhoh.

 

Another uhoh: Viola's pills. My guess: renewed dealings with Richard are stressing her out.

 

Then we have Dan's unknown reaction if/when he finds out about Matt being gay.

 

And add to that to Jacob's life being endangered again (Val threatening him) AND the evvvil cliffhanger, and you have one heck of a great chapter. This is my favorite so far in LiS!

 

However, I find I must condemn the author for unnecessary and wanton cruelty to his characters: Surely Matt, Jacob, and Val have suffered enough without having PI's sicked on them!?!?!?

 

I mean, good grief, he had them eating Pineapple Pizza a couple of chapters ago, surely that alone is horrible enough?

(Pineapple on Pizza: Yipes, Yuck!)

 

So, Steve, you should really try to be nicer to your characters!

[colinian]

Chapter 19 has taken us into a new phase of LiS. Danger, danger, Jacob and Matt! As CJ tells us in his post just above this one, there are many, many cliff hangers and whoa's that are going to take some time to develop and sort out. Fun, fun, fun! Bring on chapter 20!!

 

Colin

[ethan thorn]

This is turning in to one heck of a mess for them boys but only time will tell whats going to happen.

 

Waiting for chapter 20.

[shadowgod]

However, I find I must condemn the author for unnecessary and wanton cruelty to his characters: Surely Matt, Jacob, and Val have suffered enough without having PI's sicked on them!?!?!?

 

I mean, good grief, he had them eating Pineapple Pizza a couple of chapters ago, surely that alone is horrible enough?

(Pineapple on Pizza: Yipes, Yuck!)

 

So, Steve, you should really try to be nicer to your characters!

 

pot kettle black

 

hrmm maybe there were several open ended happenings going on in XIX ( @ CJ ) I didn't realize they were so numourous untill CJ took the time to catagorize and cross referance them. Perhaps one or a few of them are a ubiquitous red hearring.

 

then again the world may just go and blow up around them, college being but a season away...

 

Yo Ethan! Welcome to the thread and thanks for leaving LiS a review.

 

feel free to harass the wildlife (goats) I do all the time

 

Steve

[C James]

pot kettle black

 

What?? Would I fib?

 

hrmm maybe there were several open ended happenings going on in XIX ( @ CJ ) I didn't realize they were so numourous untill CJ took the time to catagorize and cross referance them. Perhaps one or a few of them are a ubiquitous red hearring.

 

then again the world may just go and blow up around them, college being but a season away...

 

I hereby predict that the next chapter shall be either XX, or, 20. If it is XX, I have a slew of snide remarks ready regarding double-x-rated chapters.

 

I had to categorize and cross-reference, because you were throwing so many evil things at your poor, unsuspecting characters.

XIX (I can't believe you did that! ) Some may be a red herring (How sneaky of you!) but I rather doubt skulking PI's and slimy political operatives are merely there for window-dressing!

 

Anyone care to join me in some speculation on these developments? I think the key is that Cody is evidently still following Jacob's life: how else whould he know that Jacob isn't playing football anymore? This opens up the possibility of Cody turning out to be a good guy who sends Jacob a warning, thus giving Jacob the ideal setup to run a sting on Catherine (the political sleazoid) and hang her and Richard out to dry in a major way.

 

 

feel free to harass the wildlife (goats) I do all the time

Steve

Oh Connor, we are being maligned!

 

This is so mean and unfair... I'm a quiet and shy lurker, and mean old Steve picks on me...

[shadowgod]

Hrmm some very good points there CJ, then again, people could go on living their lives unaware of the plots that seek to destroy them. There are several historical referances to this, one only has to look at the emporers of rome to get a starting point.

 

WHo knows, maybe this will cuase Richards political aspirations to come crumbling down like the house of cards it is, of course the oppisite may be true.